Are you looking for a way to shut down conversations about your biological clock this holiday season? Are you looking for a way to show down conversations about when you will have another baby? Are you looking for a way to shut down almost ANY conversation? Than Vaginal Knitting is for you!
You can be just like this cat, except replace doing cross stitch with shoving a skein of yarn in your baby maker and knitting away! From our pal Megan Zander who told me about this CRAFTIVIST (and seriously, aren’t we all CRAFTIVISTS? the next time I bust out my glue gun and some glitter I’m going to tell everyone that) in Melbourne who for a LONG 28 days (Just like your menstrual cycle) cast off from her womb to sort of demystify the all mighty vulva. Don’t believe me? You bitch! Watch this video as proof.
I don’t know how to knit, but I have always wanted to learn, and now I really want to learn because I think this little skill would come in so handy at uncomfortable holiday gatherings. It’s not like anyone is going to expect you to cook anything or clean up after if you are busy doing needle work with supplies you get from your hoo-hah. Plus, think about all the amazing arguments you could have with your nana when she yells at you YOUR VULVA IS NOT A SEWING BASKET.
Actually, maybe it is. I have never used my lady garden for storing stuff, other than tampons and the occasional dick, and maybe we are all missing out on extra storage space by not using our vaginas more and you know how women feel about extra storage space AMIRITE? Bitches love closets and purses and The Container Store.
To get back to the artistic elements of this project, the craftivist Casey Jenkins wrote a piece for The Guardian the other day defending her work:
As the deafening response to my work demonstrates, there is a hell of a lot of clamouring noise in society about what a person with a body like mine should and shouldn’t be doing with it. The pitch and volume of opinions can be so overwhelming that it’s difficult to quiet the noise, step back and choose a clear and autonomous path. With Casting Off My Womb I have attempted to do just that by paring concepts about body parts and activities related to women back to their most elemental. Over the course of the month I sat with the steady rhythm of the knitting needles and of my body and created a work that I have complete confidence in, a confidence that thousands of internet opinions have not dinted.
Which I think she did in part because people were mean about the project on You Tube. Listen, I’m an art fan. I enjoy the art. I also enjoy women and see nothing freaky or weird about our bodies but I’m just not sure I can get behind the artistic “merits” of this project because it seems sort of shocking for shocking’s sake, which is why I now want to do this at every holiday gathering I am invited to.
*Important update! Our Julia has even more ideas of things you can store in your lady biz!
(Image: you Tube)