8 Slutty Christmas Costumes That Just Make Sense

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I am a firm believer that every holiday presents the occasion to dress in an awesome slutty costume. Halloween? Slutty nurse. 4th of July? Slutty Uncle Sam. Columbus Day? Slutty explorer, duh. It’s so easy even a baby could do it—which really isn’t a bad idea. I could dress as a slutty baby for an upcoming baby shower. Why not?

My penchant for slutty costumes started years ago when I jokingly suggested to a friend that we should go as slutty leprechauns to a St. Patrick’s Day party. She took me seriously and showed up at work with two sets of green thigh-highs, booty shorts, and suspenders, and sluts were born.

There’s nothing that puts the XXX in Xmas like the perfect slutty costume for a holiday party. Bonus if your costume comes with boots with the fur.

8. Sexy Elf

This one is kind of a given and may tie with slutty Mrs. Claus as the most popular slut-tastic holiday ensemble. I like the Sexy Elf getup because you can wear it with shiny stripper boots. Yippee!

elf

7. Sexy Mrs. Claus

Who knew Santa’s old lady was such a hussy? This is the Playboy version of the sexified Mrs. Claus costume. Eve also wanted me to point out that it is low-cut enough to breast-feed, making it perfect for any new moms to wear around the holidays—how convenient.

(Image: amazon.com)

(Image: amazon.com)

6. Sexy Santa Baby

This is similar to my slutty baby idea, except it is a Sexy Santa Baby costume. It looks pretty darn close to slutty Mrs. Claus, although you get to wear vampy thigh-highs with bows and bells—bonus!

(Image: halloweencostumes.com)

(Image: halloweencostumes.com)

5. Sexy Winter Wonderland Lady

This costume kinda makes no sense, but it’s shiny, sparkly, and easy on the eye. If you want to dress up for the holidays and don’t want to commit, dress up like a slutty Winter Wonderland Lady in a silver sequined corset!

(Image: yandy.com)

(Image: yandy.com)

4. Sexy Polar Bear

This slutty holiday/winter costume is hard to pass up because it comes with “boots with the fur.” A slutty polar bear is better than a modest polar bear, I always say.

Sexy-Polar-Bear-Corset-and-Skirt-PB800-2

3. Sexy Reindeer

This slutty costume is entitled “Reindeer Games,” and we all know how great that movie was… But anyway, it’s still fun to dress up like a slutty animal when the opportunity presents itself. ‘Tis the season!

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2. Sexy Gingerbread Girl

This costume is kind of hokey but still sexily slutty nonetheless. Even better, when you wear it, you can make ridiculous, nonsensical puns, like, “Here I am, piping hawt out of the oven…”

(Image: costumecraze.com)

(Image: costumecraze.com)

1. Sexy Christmas Gift

This slutty Christmas costume wins the prize because it really leaves nothing to the imagination. I can only envision that the scene would play out (in a tawdry motel) a little something like this… “Have you been a naughty boy this year? Why don’t you unwrap me and find out what Santa brought you, you bad boy, you?” This is either totally brilliant or totally creepy—you be the judge.

RM_C165_XMAS2013

 (Image: Julia Sonenshein/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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    • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

      …ladies, I think we should share our slutty mcslutterson holiday outfits. I’ll go first.

      Slutting it up with Santa and my turtle 2 years ago, also known as part of how I got my husband to marry me. Slutting it up last Christmas. (We had Christmas panties on too…). Slutting it up a Pride (Pride IS a holiday, don’t even try to disagree). Slutting it up for St. Paddy’s day 3 years ago (I went out to the bar like that. Egads). Slutting it up at a wedding, because I’ll take any opportunity to slut it up. I’m a slutty slut.

      SLUTTY COSTUME LOVIN’ SLUTS UNITE. >:( NO HOLIDAY IS TOO SCARED FOR INAPPROPRIATE COSTUMES!

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        hana I love you so much I am laughing so hard you are the best ever

      • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

        Bonus points cause Carl’s shirt actually says SLUT on it.

      • Bethany Ramos

        I love you, you sexy slutttt!!! Okay, here is my St. Patty’s slut-suit:

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I LOVE ALL YOU HOT SLUTS

      • Bethany Ramos

        also, shot necklace.

      • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

        HOT SLUTS FOR THE WIN (WE LOVE YOU TOO)

      • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ FaintlyXMacabre

        Hello. I am in love with your hair. That is all.

      • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

        Eee ty ^___^ It’s my pride and joy, really.

      • Bunny Lucia

        Okay none of mine are Christmas themed but I don’t really care, I like contributing. Hahaha

        Kurt Cobain’s Birthday:
        http://i40.tinypic.com/28i3jfr.jpg

        Columbus day!
        http://i39.tinypic.com/anj994.jpg

        I LIED! I LIED! I found my Christmas dress! I dressed in a white wedding dress because I was supposed to be the virgin Mary.

        http://i43.tinypic.com/2wdai5t.jpg

      • Bethany Ramos

        You sexy slut!! The Columbus day one is just so, so great. Next year: Slutty Kurt Cobain.

      • Bunny Lucia

        I was trying really hard to be a sexy Kurt Cobain, I figure the best way would to just wear Lingerie and a flannel jacket. Lol

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        You are adorable. That would also work for Slutty Sailor Moon ™

      • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

        Amazing.

      • Simone

        Borderline bitchez be havin’ ALL the fun…

      • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

        The official slogan for borderline is GO HARD OR GO HOME.

    • http://www.gamedevwidow.weebly.com/ FaintlyXMacabre

      My husband’s work holiday party is on Friday. It’s officially business casual, but why not whip out the slutty polar bear for awkward cocktails and forced bowling?

      • Bethany Ramos

        Pleeeeeease. If I saw a slutty polar bear bowling, I would…. I dunno, die happy?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        samesies

      • http://ultimatemamacat.tumblr.com/ Hana Graham

        Do it!

      • Kay_Sue

        Yes.

      • Amber Starr

        If you make this happen, I request, nay, I DEMAND pics! There’s something about a slutty polar bear who is chugging cocktails and bowling that I simply MUST see.

    • Kay_Sue

      I am going to get the Polar Bear one and then proceed to only growl at my husband.

      Then I am going to laugh maniacally as he tries to balance horniness and sheer utter confusion. Poor Mr. Kay Sue.

    • moonie27

      All I want for Christmas is a slutty polar bear costume.

      I’m going out drinking this weekend and it would be perfect. Free drinks all night long!

    • Jennifer

      Not slutty, I think these are great. I would love to have the first one shipped ASAP.

    • ted3553

      question: do thigh highs stay up if you’re a societal loser like I am and do not GASP!!!!! have an inner thigh gap. Mine woefully rub together and I’m pretty sure the Sexy Santa Baby stockings would roll down as I sexily stalk my husband and would end up in puddles around my ankles thus ruining Sexy Santa Baby

      • Bunny Lucia

        Thigh highs don’t stay up if your knees are smaller than your thighs. It’s kind of a rule of thumb that I learned a REALLY long time ago.

      • Bethany Ramos

        I’m lolling at this image!!

      • Kelly

        Just get a garter belt. Mine tend to roll down if I don’t use one too plus garter belts are hot.

      • pineapplegrasss

        You seriously put a rubber band really tight around the top if they don’t have a gripper in them already. Its not very comfortable, but sacrifice, sacrifice

      • Toastlette

        Apparently, there is some sort of glue for this. I’ve never sought it out, because I have really thick thighs that make all thigh-highs into over-the-knee socks.

      • ted3553

        upon further reflection, I’ve decided that I will work this into my act for a more professional look. Like a sexy stripper grasshopper

    • pineapplegrasss

      you ladies are so great, I love these pics!

    • Scrooge McFuck

      I’m going to dress as the slutty “Ghost of Christmas Past” this year since it’s just the two of us. It’s a super easy costume, too; just drape on a white ghost sheet and wear your favorite skankorific undies over it.

    • DatNanny

      Mommyish writes the important articles.

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    • http://be.net/danielacortez Daniela Cortez Vassallo

      oooooh i really like the elf one

    • Jordana

      hahahahahahaha just do it while your kids are young!! “low-cut enough to breast-feed” hahahaha fantastic!

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