Teen Secretly Records ‘Coming Out’ To Mom To Help Other Gay Teens

I would like to think most parents would react exactly the same way as Ryan‘s mom does when he comes out to her as gay. We usually don’t see these exchanges, they are done in private and aren’t broadcast on the internet, but Ryan wanted to be able to help other teens struggling with the decision to come out to their parents. from the You Tube description:

“I made this video because when I was contemplating coming out for the last year, I found other similar videos of people coming out to family members on a hidden camera really helpful,” Ryan notes in the video description. “I noticed that there weren’t very many of these videos, so I wanted to create my own to help other people in the same way… My mom reacted in an amazing way, and I really hope that all of you have a similar experience.”

Enjoy the video, but make sure you have some Kleenex on hand.

I have so many feelings about this video. I love how sweet and accepting mom is, I love how she was more worried he had run over a pedestrian in his car, and I love how the big old yellow family dog tries to console Ryan when he is crying. Awwwww.

I hope this video spreads like wildfire and gives other teens the courage to talk to their parents and sets a good example for parents about how to react when their teens do come out to them. It’s all so sweet. Good job Ryan and good job Mom. I want to hug both of them.

(h/t: The Huffington Post)

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  • DeanaCal

    Oh I’m SO glad she reacted the way she did! I was putting myself in her place and thinking how if one of my kids came to me like that, so upset and crying and saying it’s about something BIG, I would be kind of freaking out. Then when they said they were gay, I would be all “Oh thank God, I thought it was going to be something BAD!”

    • Tinyfaeri

      Right? That kind of build-up is more “I, um, sort of buried my friend Timmy in the backyard after accidently shooting him with a spear gun. Know that patch of tomatoes that’s doing so well?” big.

    • DeanaCal

      Thanks, you owe me a new keyboard since I spit coffee all over mine! LOL!

    • Rachel Sea

      It should be, but if you know people who have been kicked out of their homes, or disowned for being gay it can be terrifying. I was 13 when I realized I liked girls, and the epiphany was so terrifying I was practically catatonic at first.

    • Tinyfaeri

      And that’s why videos like the above, and the need for them, or really even the need to “come out” as a certain brand of sexuality, make me a little sad. So I joke, because I joke when I’m sad about things. For me personally, I hope the only thing my kids ever get that worked up about telling me is which well-fertilized tomato patch in the backyard we should avoid eating in the future.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      I kind of feel sad that felt like he knew for 2 years and told his friend he was thinking about it but not his mom. I think that would make me sad to know that my kid had been hesitant to tell me something for a while. I mean…I guess maybe he was processing it and unsure and all that, but…you just wanna hug your kids and make them not worry about stuff. I would be so sad he felt that way for so long.

    • Beth

      My daughter’s best friend came out of the closet a couple weeks ago with her mother in what has to be the most sublime example of how NOT to react in this situation. Namely… she broke down in sobs and said “this is all my fault!!!! I should have taught you how to be more compromising about men!”

      I have no idea what the hell that second sentence has to do with being a lesbian, but I found it hilarious.

  • Elizabeth

    It’s so sweet how he clearly had this big speech planned with all these talking points, but he didn’t even have to use them because she was so immediately accepting. What a lovely mom.

  • Janok Place

    Man, if that was my kid I’d be devastated that they were so upset… I really hope that things change, and coming out to your parents is no longer a terrifying thing for the gay community. Hopefully my children understand from the beginning that mom and dad are neutral about their sexual orientation, and know that it is their right and choice to love whoever they choose, so long as that person treats them with respect. I think all any good mother wants is for her children to be happy. Kudos to this mom.

  • JLH1986

    I would be thinking what she did: my child had hurt someone or was pregnant or had gotten someone pregnant. Gay isn’t on my “things to worry about” radar in regards to parenting. I’m so glad his mom was so good to him and about it and was just like ok baby. Like he said mom I’m going to so and so’s house. Yay mom, Yay Ryan (and yay cuddly dog for wanting to help).

  • Mel

    Can you imagine living in a world where every child was as loved and accepted by their parents as this young man is? What a wonderful thought! I just hope if one my of my kids are gay, they won’t even hesitate talking to me because I will have made it clear that I don’t care as long as they don’t run over pedestrians!

    • DeanaCal

      Me too! I have even talked to my kids about these kinds of stories, telling them something like “hypothetically, if any child of mine ever said they were gay, my response would be, okay that’s fine, but did you pick up your dirty socks like I told you to this morning?”

    • Mel

      My daughter is 4 and it’s just recently become a thing to think about whom she’s gonna marry. I make it a point to tell her sometimes girls marry girls and that’s totally fine.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      I JUST recently had to tell my girls my bestie is gay because I keep meeting him and his boyfriend with my girls.
      I had to be careful how I said it though, you know yourself, not to overwhelm them.
      Older girl said awww, but I have a crush on —–!!!
      little one shrugged and said ok, can we still see him?

      I also explained that in Ireland some people have a problem with two men or two women getting married and they got very upset,saying that’s stupid, that’s not fair, if they love the other boy or girl thats ok!
      Then they asked me would I be mad if they liked girls instead of boys, just told them the truth, that as long as they were happy, looked after and were kind to WHOEVER they fell in love with, I didnt mind at all.

      It’s one thing I am desperately trying to teach my kids is openness and understanding and above all, that it doesn’t matter who you love as long as you are both happy.

    • brebay

      Ha! That would totally be a bigger deal to me. My son was around 4 when we walked past two teen girls kissing on the sidewalk. “Mom, why are those girls kissing?” “Because they love each other I’d imagine.” NBD He figured out for himself that it was nothing to write home about. We live in a very conservative area, and it’s interesting to hear him debate this with his friends. He can’t understand the reasoning behind their ignorance…maybe because there isn’t any.

  • Kay_Sue

    This was beautiful.

  • AlexMMR

    I’ve thought about how I’d react if one of my children came out to me. Something along the lines of “I love you exactly the same as I did 5 minutes ago. Anyone who treats you the way your father treats me will be welcomed into this family. I don’t are what gender they are, what color they are, or whatever they are, as long as they treat you as well as your father treats me.”

    Then I’d ask them to think about the logistics of how open they are ready to be (with cousins, their friends, etc) because I don’t want to accidentally out them beyond their comfort level, and we’ll take their lead on being out to other people. If they want the world to know, we’ll start spreading the word, or if they want to be more private about it, just keep us in the loop of who knows and who doesn’t.

  • Rachel Sea

    I wonder if my kids will come out to me as straight.

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    This is beyond sweet!!!
    Never come close to something like this apart from my ex breaking down and telling me he couldn’t keep dating me.
    I was kinda stunned and tried to stop him crying by saying, well at least you can definitely say it’s you not me!
    He started laughing then lol, I told him exactly how I felt, that I was surprised but just glad he felt he could tell me. we hugged, and went on to lunch. 9 years later he’s still my very best friend. =)

  • SarahJesness

    If I had a son who came out to be as gay I’d be all like “cool now i don’t have to worry about you knocking up some chick in high school”. Say the female equivalent for a lesbian daughter.

    Anyway. Nice video. <3

  • CrazyLogic

    I know someone who never came out, just started being bi and his family shrugged it off. (Then again, he has lesbian mothers so…) Another one had a mom that just started talking about hot actors like it was nothing. He did come out…and then she was like “you didn’t notice I knew?”

  • brebay

    I think a lot of times the parents know and maybe just don’t want to address it, they don’t really know how to address it, but it’s horrid to think these kids are stressing over this for so long for nothing.

  • Sparrow

    I love this. He has the greatest mum and he’s such a sweet kid. But it breaks my heart. No one should be afraid to come out to anyone, much less their parents. That’s my perfect world right there, If any of my three little brothers (aged 9, 3, and 6 months) ever come to me (hopefully far in the future! I can’t imagine them as grown ups yet) and come out, I wouldn’t want them crying and scared. I’d want them happy. Loving some one is such an amazing feeling. Fear should never dampen love in any situation.