1. You can eat whatever you want without judgment.
Everyone becomes a food monster during the holidays, but you are in the awesome position of people encouraging it. Even your uber judgmental mother won’t raise an eyebrow to that second plate of stuffing, since it’s “for the baby” and all. Stretchy maternity pants mean you’ll be super comfy post meal, perfect for lounging on the couch watching the game with a slice of pie. Added bonus- you can avoid making the cliché “I’m going to lose 10 lbs” New Year’s Resolution and actually enjoy the holidays.
2.Everyone will cook to suit your cravings.
Maybe you don’t care for your Aunt’s green beans but have always been too polite to refuse. This year, blame the nausea, and she’ll give you a sympathy pat on the arm as well as a free pass. Hate marshmallows on the yams? Tell your MIL and she will banish them to the far corner of the pantry. Your culinary wish is everyone’s demand.
Love your aunt’s cookie bars but find your cousins always destroy them before the main course leaving you with crumbs? She’ll make you an extra batch to eat in the privacy of your own home over the course of one evening. She will even admonish your partner that these are YOUR cookies, saving you from the awkward embarrassment of having to apologize for growling at him when he reaches for the box.
3. No one expects you to clean up.
Everyone knows the worst part of a big meal is the cleanup .All that fancy china is hand wash only, leaving you with pruned fingers and a soggy shirt. There’s never enough aluminum foil or Tupperware and no room in the fridge. Plus, by now the sides are starting to congeal and there is something about being full that makes the turkey look less like delicious noms and more like a carcass. Just smile sweetly when someone inevitably tells you to “Go sit down and relax”. Why, don’t mind if I do.
4. You have the perfect excuse to get out of office parties.
Even when not with child, holiday office parties suck. There’s never alcohol, or if there is, you can’t really drink in front of your boss. It’s mostly making chitchat with the spouses of coworkers whose names you forget immediately after being introduced or talking with you coworkers as usual, only now you’re not getting paid. Being pregnant at a dull party like this makes you a form of entertainment. You’ll spend the night repeating yourself with stats such as your due date, the gender, your plans for breastfeeding and what the nursery looks like- all while avoiding women who want to tell you their labor horror story and people who want to touch your belly. Claim exhaustion and curl up with a reality TV marathon instead.
5. People will tell you how pretty you look no matter what.
If you do decide to be social during the holiday season, no worries. Some pregnant woman are lucky enough to get thick shiny hair and nails as part of their bump package, others get a chubby melon face to match their new puffy lips. Either way, people will say “you’re glowing”. Enjoy it. And don’t worry about what to wear. It really doesn’t matter. You could wear an oversized men’s button-down with yoga pants to a black tie affair and no one will notice since people will only be looking at your mid-section. (Ok, fine, they may also check out your awesome new cleavage, but mostly they’ll be looking at that belly.)