8 Cheese Inspired Names You Can Give Your Child That Aren’t ‘Cheese’

154768922I find this hard to believe, but the Internet says it’s true so it must be. There are people in existence who have named their offspring “Cheese.” No, not after a cheese just “Cheese.” As in Hi! Allow me to introduce my son. His name is Cheese Smith.

If you really love cheese so much, don’t be a simpleton without inspiration and name your kid “Cheese.” You can do better. I will help you. Here is a list of cheese-inspired names that are way better than “cheese.” Thanks Cheese.com.

1. Edelpilz

Edelpilz is a German blue vein cheese made from cow’s milk similar to Danish Blue. It’s a semi-hard cheese with a soft rind, sometimes known as German Blue. It has a subtle spiciness, and tastes strong when consumed a big bite.

She’ll be a badass. Semi-hard with a soft rind a subtle spiciness? You can call her “Ede,” kind of like “Eve” – but not.

2. Brinza

This cheese has a long history. It is white, slightly grainy cheese made in blocks. It is mild, moist, and crumbly and has sweet, aromatic character.

Aww – Brinza’s a sweetheart who’ll always smell good. She’ll be good at retaining jokes and will always be a shoulder to cry on.

3. Cairnsmore

The rind develops a series of wonderful moulds as it matures. Aromatic and nutty, with the sweetness of caramel and burnt toffee

You can call her Cairn. Kind of like Karen, but less syllables. She’ll be really good at math.

4. Ridder

It got so popular that the cheese is imitated all over the world. Its buttery sweet, slightly nutty flavor is quite refreshing.

Ridder is the life of the party. He’s goofy and awesome and everyone wants to be around him all the time. Don’t confuse him with his cousin “Ryder” who eats pencils.

5. Durrus

Made with raw, unpasteurised milk, Durrus smells of hay and wet soil and tastes buttery, mild and slightly acidic.

Durrus has a sharp-tongue, but only uses it when absolutely necessary. His friends call him D. What do Cheese’s friends call him? They don’t because he doesn’t have any.

6. White Stilton with Mango & Ginger

White Stilton with Mango & Ginger is a blended cheese which incorporates mango and Australian Buderim ginger to impart a sweet, savoury intense flavour to the traditional Stilton cheese. Stilton on its own is extremely creamy and delicious but the addition of fruit accords the cheese a new dimension.

How is this cheese in existence and I haven’t tried it? This clearly isn’t a name suggestion. I just really want to try this cheese.

7. Niolo

Niolo, the soft, creamy white cheese with somewhat sticky in consistency, comes in square shape. It has nutty flavor and a natural white/grey rind. When ripened for three months, Niolo gets its strong smell for which it is famous and known!

Okay, maybe not cute to name your kid after stinky cheese – but how nice is this name? Seriously. You could call him Nio. Nio is obviously going to be a lady-killer. Or a man-killer – whatever he’s into.

8. Harlech

It is named after the famous Welsh Warriors of the Middle Ages.

The texture of Harlech is smooth and creamy with a peppery, fresh and zingy flavor of horseradish and parsley.

Named after glorious cheese and warriors? Can anyone say Renaissance man?

(photo: Getty Images)

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You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • LadyClodia

    Holy shit…I was totally not expecting to see my son’s name on this list. I was previously unaware there was a cheese called “Ridder.”

    • phoenix81

      I was just going to post that I know a couple of Ridder’s.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

      Why???? Ridder is an awesome name!

    • LadyClodia

      It is an awesome name, but it’s weird that it’s a kind of cheese too.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Is it rid-er or rye der? I am bad at this here pronunciation

    • LadyClodia

      I say rid-er, and it sounds pretty similar in Dutch (how my husband says it.) When I tell people his name a lot of people ask if it’s spelled Ritter.

    • Smishsmash

      If it makes you feel any better, I also gave my son a lovely Dutch name which turned out to be a cheese. I picked it because its the name of a town that has significance to us, so I too was pretty bummed to find out there’s also a special cheese from that town that shares the name.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I LOVE it. I loooooove it

    • FaintlyXMacabre

      please don’t feel sad. I realized too late that my kid shares a name with a league of legends character. Rep with pride.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Ridder is a kick-ass name and I think the cheese thing only ups the kick-assery factor. And it’s totally a conversation starter when he grows up.

    • Jayess

      so, I went to bed feeling sad that you found your son’s name on a cheese list, when I realized that, like, 90% of cheeses are named after towns or the regions they’re made, and that a lot of regions or towns are named after people. So I did a bit of “research” (5 mins of googling) and found that “ridder” means “knight” in Norwegian, and it was basically the brand name of the original cheese. Kind of like how we call all tissues “kleenexes.” so don’t be sad! It’s just a brand name of cheese! Named after a knight!

    • LadyClodia

      Haha, thanks. It means “knight” in Dutch too, which is how we picked it. My in-laws in The Netherlands already think we’re a bit weird for naming him Ridder. But since the cheese is Norwegian I’m not sure that they know about it either. I was just kind of in a less-than-humorous-mood yesterday and the cheese thing annoyed me. I’m feeling better about it today though. :)

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    I love my cheese name!

    • chickadee

      Not to be That Guy, but that cheese is pronounced ‘Ay (as in ‘hay’) del-piltz, so now we have to call you Ayve.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I still think this sounds like a beer they served during sound of music times

  • elle

    No. I refuse to believe somebody named their child Cheese. Somebody could introduce themselves as that to me and I would just think that they wee bullshitting me that’s how much I refuse to believe it.

  • Rachel Sea

    You just reminded me I need to go to lunch. Mango-ginger Stilton, glazed pecans, and Mandarin orange segments are my favorite things to put on salad.

  • http://carrie-murphy.com/ Carrie Murphy

    WHAT no one actually named their kid Cheese. Brinza ia kinda pretty!

  • Bethany Ramos

    Well, there’s always Colby Jack so-and-so.

  • Just curious

    Was Brie too obvious?

  • brebay

    wow, we’re just totally out of ideas now.

  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    This is clearly just an excuse to write a post about cheese, Maria. I’m not saying I don’t approve though.

  • Jayess

    holy smokes, those are actually pretty ‘core. I’m ashamed to say that some of them sound good enough that I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a kid with that name.

  • Jenni

    I already feel bad for Carin. She’ll go through her whole life re-spelling her name for people. “No it’s not K-a-r-e-n…you know what, never mind.”

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    Semi-related, because I seem to really like talking about the differences between Americans and Canadians here for some reason, but I only found out recently that ‘American Cheese’, which I had assumed was an actually type of block cheese (I imagined it being maybe a very mild cheddar-esque cheese), refers to what we (Canadians) call simply processed cheese.

    Brinza is pretty.

    • Bethany Ramos

      Because we Americans are kinda gross. ;)

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Canadians can be pretty gross too. But it is rather amusing to me that THAT is what American cheese is. I really had no idea for so long.

  • Anna Molly

    I’ll name my son Limburger

  • EmmaFromÉire

    ”This is my son Stilton, and my daughter Cheddar. Oh and their cousin Goats!”