• Wed, Dec 4 - 11:00 am ET

I Lost All My Baby Weight And Now All I Hear Is I’m ‘Too Skinny’

81937629I’m so, so bored about hearing about women and baby weight loss. Tory Spelling admitted that she lied about how she lost her baby weight. Kim Kardashian is taking selfies of her post-pregnant self. I know that the entire world is continuing to watch Princess Katherine’s shrinking uterus, only so the press can come back at her, saying she’s now “too skinny.” You know it’s going to happen. It happened to me.

God, how I hate those words, “too skinny.”  I attended an anniversary party recently for a newspaper I used to write for where so many people just had to comment on how I was “all skin and bones,” and that I was “too skinny.” I was asked, too many times to count, “How did you lose all that weight so quickly?” and “I can’t believe you had a baby!” People were more interested in my body than they were my baby! Frankly, I thought it was all very rude. I think the only thing worse than people watching you lose baby weight, might be actually losing the damn baby weight. “No,” I wanted to tell people, “I’m not too skinny. My weight is now the exact same as it was before I gained that 70 pounds with my son, who was born…FIFTEEN months ago.” I felt the same sting after the birth of my daughter 10 years ago. Back then I couldn’t wait to get my pre-body back. It took me exactly six months, eating as little as possible, and working out three times a day to get rid of the 50 pounds I gained with her. And then I was told I was “too skinny.”

After my son popped out, I didn’t doubt for a second that I wouldn’t lose that weight. I knew how to lose the baby weight, thanks to my first pregnancy. Again, it took exactly six months to get back to my natural weight. But you can’t win. If you don’t lose the baby weight quickly, then something is wrong with you. If you do lose the baby weight, then something is wrong with you.

You can reach this post's author, Rebecca Eckler, on twitter.
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  • claosaurus

    It’s totally weird that people are more interested in your body than your baby. What is cuter than a fifteen month old?

  • Harriet Meadow

    Good for you for working so hard to get back to where you wanted to be! I had worked hard to lose a bunch of weight before I got pregnant, so during pregnancy I ate well (I didn’t starve myself, but I didn’t give in to every junk food craving) and continued to be active and only ended up gaining 32 lbs. I somehow (and I have no idea how) lost it all by my six-week postpartum checkup. I have had no comments on my body since having the baby, but when I was pregnant I had a few comments about how little weight I was gaining (which is weird because 32 lbs is on the higher end of the recommendation), and on the one hand I was sort of happy because I was *trying* not to gain too much weight, but on the other hand it bothered me because I didn’t understand why people felt the need to comment on my body anyway, and sometimes it sounded like an insult rather than a compliment.

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    Ridiculous how after going through the stress that comes with pregnancy, childbirth and a new bundle of energy, that people feel the need to comment on your weight.
    I bet if I suddenly GAINED weight people wouldn’t find it necessary to comment.
    Ignore them, you know what works for you, your body will know what to do.

    I’m a curvy size 14 anyway and I plan to slob out for any pregnancy I may have. I swim four times a week and spend the rest of my time running around after three kids at home.
    My mother put it brilliantly- whenever someone asked her how she “managed to shift the baby weight” she looked them dead in the eye and said- “Easy- I had the baby. I lost the weight chasing him”

    • Kara

      Yeah, on the opposite end of the spectrum with that comment: My grandmother, (a 90lb 89 year old woman) asked me last year on christmas why I hadn’t lost any weight yet because I have to toddlers to chase after? It was the most hurtful comment ever. I know she meant well but damn grandma!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      why is it that most elderly people do not think before speaking? I am NOT ageist in any way, but really?
      My own Gran’s first language is Dutch, not English and she sometimes says things so shocking that everyone is stunned.
      He told my brother when he was 13 that she was going to blow him. (She meant fan him with a newspaper, it was 48 degrees in Turkey)
      It has led to some very angry people until we explain.
      Though I will say my brother’s face was priceless!

  • Muggle

    Ugh, preach it. When I was in high school I was declared too thin because I was… the same size I am now. People’s perception of weight is really weird these days. I actually was underweight at one point, and it was awful being told I was “anorexic” when I was eating just as much as they were. Apparently it makes you Not Normal. I recall an article here a few days ago where one asshole commenting on a footballer’s wife’s post-baby body wondering if she was “even a member of the same species” or some bullshit.

    I mean, I get it. there’s way too much idolization of thin women in pop culture– or, rather, a specific body shape and size that is not attainable for anyone. But it’s not in anyone’s best interest to tear down thin women and make us ashamed of ourselves in turn for things we cannot control. It’s not okay to tell a naturally thin woman that she’s anorexic, a child, or not a “real woman.”

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      I wrote that piece about the footballers wife, and I literaly got hate mail for it, for defending the woman’s right to be proud of her figure. Some people act like, if you aren’t struggling for years to lose the baby weight, you must be a freak, or have an eating disorder. Every woman is different, and every pregnancy is different. It look me almost 2 years to lose the weight with my first child, but only a few months with my second. It sucks that there are still so many people that think it’s okay to body shame someone for ANY reason.

    • Muggle

      I lost 10 pounds in one week thanks to meningitis. It literally took me AN ENTIRE GODDAMN YEAR to gain that 10 pounds back– from late junior year to graduating high school. That’s when I was underweight. I HATED, HATED HATED people constantly wrapping their fingers around my wrists to measure how tiny they were (regardless of my weight, they’re always tiny– I have small bones and not a lot of fat, BFD), picking me up to show off how light I was, and then being told I was “anorexic” (you try feeding yourself when you’re too dizzy to sit up, let alone get off the couch and make yourself something to eat) and to eat a few pies. ugh.

      It actually really fucked me up for a while, and I wound up eating as much high-calorie food as I could cram into myself in a vain attempt to gain some weight just so people would leave me the hell alone.

    • pineapplegrasss

      oh that wrapping the fingers around the wrist move, I hate that so much too. I still get that every once in a while

    • Muggle

      Yeah, and after they with that, they’d go on about how pale I was and compare my “ginger” skin to their “healthy” skin. ksdjadsjklj

      Unrelated, yeah, and not as bad but uggghhh. I’m so glad I’m out of that town. SO glad.

    • Marcie

      Yes! The wrist move! I got that all the time. When I was younger I ate as much and the same as everyone else and I was just underweight! People thought I was weird or had an eating disorder. I tried to gain weight but my body was just not having it. I have gained and weight and look “normal” now but geez was that a hard time!

      Why is it not okay to be a healthy weight? Must everyone be overweight and hate themselves? I just don’t understand.

    • pineapplegrasss

      What happened to the outlook that people come in all different shapes and sizes?

    • Emme

      YES. I have always been thin, but then I was hit with Crohn’s Disease in high school. I would have given anything to put on weight. Even putting that aside, I have received derogatory comments and backhanded compliments my whole life. It’s rude and it doesn’t feel good. Then try complaining about it and you get “I wish I had your problems!” *sigh*

    • Seidhr

      Oh, fuck dude. I totally forgot about the wrist thing. It’s been a lot of years since someone has done that to me to “prove” to me that I’m bulimic. I finally hit the point with that where I had to explain to people that attempting to touch me to validate to themselves I “need” to gain weight is going to result in some severe puffiness and blackening of an eye. Then it stopped.

    • Muggle

      I never could get people to stop grabbing my wrists. But at least they’d be distracted by my paleness and instead tell me I was a “vampire” and that I didn’t look “healthy” because I was “too ginger” or some shit.

      Screaming like a banshee whenever I got picked up, though? Oh yeah, people don’t like it when the people they’re picking up against their will start screaming.

    • Seidhr

      I’m assuming the picking up you’re talking about is where they heave you over their shoulder while twirling and squealing, “You’re so TIIIIIINNNNEEEEEEE,” right? Screaming like a banshee never worked for me, so I again had to go with punching. It’s amazing what a quick punch will do. Especially when they get mad at you for “assaulting” them and have to eat the reply of, “it’s not assault. It’s self-defense. I’m legally entitled to defend myself against anyone who assaults me, which you have just done. ‘Tineeeeee’ does not legitimate doing whatever the fuck you want to me.” But I’m kind of a bitch a lot of the time about my personal space (largely because of shit like this), so that and the punching seemed to take care of the issue quickly. It’s sad when you have to hit someone to keep people from violating your personhood like that.

      I also don’t really appreciate it when people tell me I look like a junkie, give me shit at a store when I’m trying to find a pair of jeans in my size (sorry, people, but the fact that I’m small does not mean I should have to wander around the world buck naked, nor does it mean you should throw shit at me because asking the sales rep for a smaller size CLEARLY means I’m poking fun at you and generally being a cunt for not being as small as me), ask me how often I puke per day since I eat more than they do, accuse me of anorexia (in the least kind manner. Seriously – what if I WERE actually anorexic) before they’ve seen me eat, ask me how many times a day I have to work out to “keep my figure,” say things like, “you know, she really kept her figure after the baby was born. Two weeks and she was in her pre-pregnancy clothes. I guess her weight is REALLY important to her,” (because yeah, neighbor, I can’t overhear that when you’re gossiping to your buddies about me,” tell me I’m a “skinny bitch,” or “just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean [insert whatever offense breathing the same air as someone else created],” tell me I have no right to be in a Lane Bryant while shopping with a friend, asking me why my doctor hasn’t put me on weight gainer yet, asking me how my husband can find me attractive when I’m “all skin and bones,” or offer to buy me groceries because clearly I can’t afford to eat. Fuck you, people. Fuck you. Lol, as you can tell I’m not bitter at all. ;)

    • Muggle

      Well, I was at school every time the picking-up occurred, so shrieking “OH GOD PUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWN AARRRGGGHHH” attracted the attention of all the teachers.

      But I still hate shopping for clothes, because I’m so freaking small. I’m short enough to have to shop in petites at some stores, assuming they don’t have junior’s sizes (which I suspect I’ll be wearing for a very long time). And then if I can’t find anything my size, I always get to hear “well there’s always the kids’ section!” except the kids’ clothes that are long enough for me are waaayyyyy too loose. That’s why I switched over to junior’s clothes in the first place.

      I also really hate eating in public, especially salads. All the judgemental looks…

    • Seidhr

      Ohhhh. That IS worse having it happen at school. People used to try to tickle me at school and I had to do the screaming thing as well so teachers would defend me since I’m too small to do much on my own without becoming legitimately violent.

      I feel you on the clothes. I was at a friend’s the other day and he asked me what happens if I shrink past size 0. I said, “00.” He looked confused and asked if there are negative numbers to wear after that. I said, “yes. They’re called ‘children’s section clothes.’” His wife had to explain to him how it all works (which she did with a truly impressive level of sensitivity toward my feelings).

      It sounds like you and I are around the same size. Some petite/junior’s/misses clothes I still have to have hemmed.

    • Seidhr

      And yeah, salads. I only eat them in public if I’m eating something else too. I love, though, how when I’m out with friends and someone orders a salad they automatically try to give it to me. Because of course no one but the skinny chick could want to eat vegetables.

    • Muggle

      For me it’s always “of COURSE the skinny chick is eating rabbit food.” I fucking love salads. Can’t I like food without having to feel bad that isn’t not loaded with calories and processed shit like practically everything else?

    • Seidhr

      No ma’am you may not. If you don’t eat all that processed shit you will NEVER get to a healthy weight. Didn’t you learn that in health class? ;)

  • G.E. Phillips

    I’ve gotten in both directions–before I had my son, it was always “You’re too skinny, eat a sandwich.” I was 5’4″ and around 117lbs, hardly wasting away. I gained a LOT of weight when I was pregnant–way more than was necessary–and it took me a while to lose it. I remember getting ready for a job interview when my son was like 5 months old, and my stepmother saying to me, “You’re going to have to explain to them why you’re so big.” WHY? Why do people think it’s ok to say these things?

  • Janok Place

    Six weeks after my daughter was born, we got married. I weighed precisely 7lbs LESS then I did when I GOT pregnant (115lbs vs 122lbs… I`m 5`6“) and my aunt (not nearly my size)…. thought it appropriate to say, at the wedding “don`t worry dear, you look lovely and I`m sure you`ll lose the baby weight soon enough“. My body is no one elses business, and no one elses body is my business. Sometimes, the temptation to say STFU is overwhelming.

    • EX

      That sucks. People are so stupid. I got body snark from stupid family members at my wedding and I hadn’t even recently had a baby.

    • Janok Place

      See that’s what I don’t get. It’s your wedding day. I don’t care how much you weigh, it is the most important and beautiful day where you have spent half your life imagining the way it will go. Everything has been thought out, the hair, the make up, the dress. To tell a bride she is anything less then breath taking is just wrong. I don’t give a shit if you weigh 100lbs or 300lbs you’re beautiful and anyone who says otherwise has an ugly attitude.

    • Muggle

      One of the most crazy-making parts of the wedding planning process is seeing constant weight-loss bullshit, like “lose those last 5 pounds!” I mean, you have a fixed date and you have to pick out your dress quite a bit before then… seems like the worst time to try to lose weight to me. And what I REALLY don’t get is that weddings aren’t all about the bride looking perfect. If a guy proposes to you, he clearly loves you no matter what weight you are. He thinks you’re beautiful. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, does it?

  • iamtheshoshie

    I am super on board team Comments About Body Sizes are Inappropriate, but this: “Trust me, being called ‘too skinny’ is as insulting as being called ‘too fat,’” is just not true. I’ve had people berate me for losing weight “too quickly” and I’ve been called every fat shaming insult under the sun. They both sting, but they’re very, very different.

    • Kelly

      No, actually they aren’t. Your personal insecurities don’t apply to everyone. I’ve been too skinny and too fat in my life too. Too skinny actually hurts me more. I don’t give a flying f if people think I’m fat but too skinny takes me back to my teen years when I was told I wasn’t a real woman and no man would ever want me.
      I’ve also had women make barfing noises at me for daring to eat pancakes in public in a diner. If that’s not skinny shaming, I don’t know what the hell is.

    • iamtheshoshie

      I’m not saying that there aren’t personal reasons why being called too skinny might be worse for an individual than being called too fat. But, as a general rule, one loses more from being labeled as fat than skinny. Because “fat” doesn’t just mean fat in our culture. It also means, “stupid” and “lazy” and a bunch of other terrible things.

    • Muggle

      “too skinny” also means “airheaded” and “whore” and a bunch of other terrible things.

    • Muggle

      Yeah, all right, down-vote me for being pissed about being called anorexic and then bitched at for supposedly being mentally ill. Not a single goddamn person who called me anorexic offered any help, just treated me like a self-destructive idiot who just needed a good ass-kicking to snap back to normal and eat a few pies like everyone else.

      You really think that’s an acceptable way to treat someone you think is mentally ill?

    • Kate B

      Clearly not true. Studies repeatedly show that thin people are viewed as more competent, professional and employable than overweight people.
      Thin says successful, beautiful, self-disciplined in our culture.
      Body shaming is always wrong, but I believe that skinny-shaming is a backlash against societal fat-shaming.
      Let’s be honest here. I’ve been ‘too thin’, and I often had those words said to me with envy in the voice of the speaker. The reason people think it acceptable to comment on a thin individual’s weight is because it’s seen as an implicit complement.
      NOBODY feels secretly gleeful to be told they are too fat.
      None of this is to say that it’s ok to bully someone for their body shape or weight.
      But the societal implications of being thin are in no way the same as the societal implications of being fat.
      There are girls who get bullied at school for being ‘too pretty’. They get called airheads and sluts, and their lives are made a misery by jealous girls. That doesn’t mean being pretty puts you at a societal disadvantage. It just means there are some nasty, horrible people out there.

    • Muggle

      As I said before, skinny girls get the “anorexic” label and there’s loads of baggage attached to that, much of it due to the way our culture treats mental illness as a personal failure than well… an illness. That most thin women don’t actually have, btw. Thin might mean self-disciplined, but *too* thin means obsessive, shallow, self-destructive, and “retarded” as my peers in high school would have put it. And “slutty.”

      I don’t think anyone’s ever seen me and thought I was more competent because of my size. Or maybe it’s because partly as a result of it, I look about 5 years younger than I really am (and I’m in my early 20s). But this just reflects the town I lived in and its (horribly fucked up, twisted, downright evil) culture. I lived in a bubble until I graduated and I’m still trying to undo about 10 years of living there. Nobody was ever fat-shamed there.

      And is thin-shaming really preferable to fat-shaming, even now? Even magazines today pick apart famous women’s bodies and aren’t afraid to declare them “too thin.” Even when they’re the same size they’ve always been and just overall small, they’re slapped with the “anorexic” label, accused of overexercise or drug use. Doesn’t really seem like jealousy, because the very next month the same women will be torn to shreds for being too fat. Look at the coverage of Kate Middleton’s pregnancy, and how many people feared that she wouldn’t be able to carry the baby safely. I’ve faced similar concern-trolling– at SEVENTEEN, by total strangers. IF anything people have gotten bolder about it, and why I get so sensitive toward thin-shaming is because what if that’s normal 20 years from now? Would it be any better then? Would it be okay? No, no it wouldn’t be, and if we call out all forms of body-shaming now and end this awful “thinspo” and “fitspo” nonsense maybe the tide won’t turn that way.

    • Kelly

      As muggle said, being too skinny also brings a bunch of other negative assumptions with it including “moron”, “mentally ill”, “stuck up”, “bitch”, “shallow”, etc.
      Maybe as women we should stop trying to prove who has it worse, accept that all forms of weight judgment suck, and all just stop being assholes to each other.

    • Kate B

      I absolutely agree we need to stop being assholes to each other.
      But I can also understand that our society does NOT treat thin people and fat people equally.
      That’s not to say that, on an individual basis, fat people ALWAYS have an easier time than skinny people. Not at all.
      But our society, as a whole, treats overweight people far more badly.
      Thinness is venerated in our society. Women considered beautiful, intelligent and talented are, with very few exceptions, thin. The diet industry is worth billlions, and women’s magazines filled with images of beautiful, thin women and advice on how to lose weight so you can look like them.
      Someone being an asshole to you because you are too thin does not mean that thin people are treated as badly by society as fat people.

    • carosaurusrex

      I think this is what she’s trying to get at: http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/10/lets-talk-about-thin-privilege/

    • Whatwhatque

      My knee jerk reaction is to say “OF COURSE being called fat definitely worse” because as a society, we really do value thinness (even excessive thinness) and come down very hard on fatter folks (I consider myself part of Team Fat.) but really, it seems like it differs from person to person and it’s not really my place to tell anyone that they can’t really get their feelings hurt from being called too skinny. In my fat mind, I think “must be nice!” but really, having people comment on your body at all is unpleasant and can be damaging.

    • CatB

      With respect Whatwhatque, I’ve seen a skinny girl (I knew from school to have a fast metabolism because she always ate bigger lunches than the rest of us) have a burger physically thrown at her head, the other girl (part of what you’d call “Team Fat”) who did it screamed “bimbo” at her as she did it, I’d hardly call that valuing thinness. The skinny girl cried her eyes out in the bus stop for ages over that.
      I’m not saying fat shaming isn’t real, but there is a negative side to the otherwise positive counter movement that has made slim shaming a real thing too. Why can’t we just tolerate every size and have done with?

    • Whatwhatque

      Of course, that is fucked up. But don’t you imagine that the fat girl likely bullied the skinny girl because of her own experience of being shamed about her weight? The whole culture of policing women’s bodies is at fault and it leads to girls being pitted against each other on something as arbitrary as weight. It’s unfortunately going to be a while until people get over the baggage of being made to feel shitty for whatever of “flaw” they’ve been made to feel they have…until then there are still going to be people trying to make themselves feel better by pointing out the “flaws” in others.

    • Alexandra

      Strange. I’ve never seen a fat girl get bullied. I’ve seen many skinny girls (including me) get bullied.
      Fat women who post pictures of themselves in bathing suits are “strong, healthy, confident…”
      A skinny woman posting a bikini picture is “starving, promoting eating disorders, unhealthy”

      In today’s society, people are finally starting to accept “Health at every size”, unless you’re too skinny of course, then you’re just an anorexic bitch.

    • Whatwhatque

      I am not going to deny your experience, but I really have a hard time believing you never heard/seen insults hurled at overweight people. Yes, there are small corners of the internet where size acceptance is being taken seriously, but you have to be willfully ignoring the fact that on every piece that attempts to suggest that there’s health at every size or that women should be proud of how they look (especially on more mainstream site), there are people leaving horrid comments about them being a fat cow. But really, it’s truly fucked up that some overweight people feel defensive enough to attack thin people, it seems the pendulum has swung too far the other way. And it IS more socially acceptable to openly comment on someone being too thin (calling someone fat has been relegated to snickering behind people’s backs or anonymous internet comments) and that has to be corrected and as far as I can tell that’s the goal of true size acceptance.

    • Kate B

      I believe the reason it’s seen as more acceptable to comment that someone is too thin is because it is seen as an implicit complement to be thin.
      Being too thin does not carry the same stigma and shame as being too fat. Telling someone they are ‘too thin’ sounds as though you are speaking out of either envy or concern. Telling someone they are ‘too fat’. is considered a deadly insult.
      I am NOT justifying this at all though. Our body shape and size should be nobody else’s business; nor should anyone get shamed our bullied for it.
      I’ve seen the world through the eyes of a fat person and a thin person. As a fat person, i was often ignored. I had nasty comments and jokes directed at me, I got bullied horrendously at school. I felt invisible and unimportant. When I lost the weight, all of a sudden the world was a different place. I got taken more seriously, not just by men but by women too. Being told I was too thin might have felt a bit intrusive and annoying but it in no way compared to the shame of having people suggest I went on a diet, looking me up and down and saying how ‘healthy’ I was looking or that it was a shame because I had ‘such a pretty face….’. It didn’t compare to going into a shop, and being told the clothes there weren’t ‘generous’ enough to me.
      None of the discrimination fat people face makes it ok to abuse thin people. But let’s not pretend that society treats fat and thin people the same.

    • carosaurusrex

      Agreed. Thin privilege is a real thing. While it might hurt your individual feelings to be called “too skinny,” you will likely never miss out on a job or a date because of your weight. You also have the ability to eat what you want in public without feeling anxious about someone judging you. Thin is desirable in this culture, end of story. Just because you are denying your privilege does not mean you aren’t benefiting from it.

    • Alexandra

      Maybe it’s just where I’m from, but when I was growing up the government was freaking out about eating disorders in teen girls, so calling someone fat was considered very, VERY wrong, while even nurses would come to class with slideshows of thin girls, telling us it’s unnatural to be skinny and it’s ugly because women are supposed to have hips and thighs.

      Great post though :) I agree 100%, the original post really ticked me off which is why I was rude, sorry ):

    • Whatwhatque

      It’s true that there was kind of a “real women have curves” movement when eating disorders were first becoming a big public health concern and it did a disservice by implying naturally thin women were somehow not feminine or really women. This set the stage, I think, for making it publicly acceptable to concern troll thin women. Always being chunky and self-conscious about my weight, it made me relieved at the time, thinking this was going to at least make it better for fat girls. But it really didn’t, it just sucks for all women that our appearance is up for public dissection no matter what!

    • Evelyn

      But in our culture skinny labels you as a cold, manipulative, home wrecking, stuck up cow, which is equally false. I have known groups of drunk women in nightclub toilets turn like a pack of jackals on skinny girls entering by themselves because “who do you think you are, you stuck up b****? You must think you’re better than us but men like real curves, not skeleton freaks like you”. Said to a woman they never met for being thin (due to illness, not that it needs justification) and they said a lot more and got physically pushy. Why do we have to turn who is the most wronged into a competition?

    • iamtheshoshie

      I mean, the flip side of that is that people have tried to run hit me with a car for the crime of walking and eating while fat and I suffered for a decade with an undiagnosed autoimmune condition, because clearly all my chronic pain and endocrine issues were just because I was fat. And, when I was losing weight by eating 800 calories per day, I was applauded for “being healthy”– no one suspected an eating disorder. My point wasn’t that being called fat is inherently more hurtful than being called skinny. It was that fat women and skinny women are not on an equal playing field when it comes to navigating our society at large, which hates fat people a lot more than it hates thin people.

    • Kay_Sue

      I agree with this, but you also have to remember that the author of this piece isn’t taking a broad stroke to public opinion. She’s talking about her personal experience, and speaking from experience, being called too skinny is hurtful. It comes with a whole list of other quasi-insults, like having it implied that you aren’t a real woman. It might not have the same ring with society as a whole–which is part of why even polite and decent people feel okay with dropping the “you’re too skinny, eat a sandwich” line, while they wouldn’t comment on someone’s weight if they perceived them as overweight–but on a personal level, any judgement of one’s weight is harmful. It would be nice if we could all be allowed to exist, and have it accept that sometimes, you can look too fat/too skinny and still be perfectly healthy. So much of it is in our genes.

    • Kate B

      This is a very good point.
      I, personally, believe that there society as a whole treats fat people far, far worse than thin people.
      BUT this article is discussing the author’s own personal; experiences of body shaming, which are just as valid as anyone else’s.

    • Kay_Sue

      I believe that too. It took a while to accept that as a thinner person, honestly, because I don’t want to believe that there are people that judge me more favorably because of my weight. It’s saddening, and hard not to feel guilty for it, even though I don’t feel that way personally and think it’s wrong.

      But, I also have come to terms with the fact that it does hurt personally when people comment on how thin I am, and that I am entitled to that personal experience also.

    • Kate B

      Of course it’s not a competition. But I do think that fat-shaming is a societal issue. The comments those women made to you sound like they were made out of jealousy, as a backlash to the anti-fat culture. That IN NO WAY justifies it. It’s bullshit and it’s wrong. But on a societal level, thin people are not shamed in the same way fat people are. Studies repeatedly show thin people are viewed as more competent, successful and employable. Magazines are full of thin, beautiful women and advice on how to diet yourself skinny. Even intelligent and talented women in the public eye are expected to be thin too.
      On an individual level, of course it’s not true that ALL fat people have it harder than ALL skinny people. But our CULTURE and SOCIETY are undoubtedly much harsher on fat people than thin people.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      Being called too skinny is hurtful. I am naturally thin, I also love to be active. It gets old having people assume I have an eating disorder, or I’m a shallow, stupid bitch. I can’t help that I’m thin, I cannot gain weight. During my pregnancy, people assumed that I was starving myself because I had to be thin, and that was more important than the health of my child.

      This isn’t the sufferlympics. Stop making it into a competition as to who is hurting more and work on making it stop.

    • JustAGuest

      Being called “too skinny” might be personally as insulting as being called “too fat.” However, there is a cultural view of fatness which makes it far worse, in our society, to be perceived as fat. People attach negative moral labels to fat people, seeing them as morally inferior simply due to their weight – and this is true even of medical professionals working with someone whose weight is due to a medical condition. There is a great deal of research to support this. Hence while no one should make derogatory comments about anyone’s weight, there is a cultural force behind the judging of the overweight/obese that does not exist with judging the thin.

    • iamtheshoshie

      That was what I was trying to get at, but totally failing. Thanks for saying this more eloquently that I did.

    • Evelyn

      While you do get a different reaction I am not sure that one size gets better treatment than the other and it really isn’t a competition on who gets the worst attitude or insults. I have been on both sides and I have friends on both sides of the weight thing and yes, the way people treat you badly is different but they still treat you badly. I have had “skinny” friends whispered about wherever they go, and subtly loud enough for them to hear, and also openly heckled by other women. Our society treats women badly in terms of appearance and thinner women are often viewed as a threat or as a reminder of the weight an unsuccessful dieter can’t shift. As a plump lady now I am seen as lazy and overindulgent but I am also seen as jolly and friendly before I open my mouth. When I was underweight I was seen as stuck up, cold and manipulative before I opened my mouth. Women are judged too much on appearance and assuming that those who look different to us don’t understand the way we are judged isn’t helpful.

    • Seidhr

      I’m sorry, but you do not get to be the arbitrator of what is more hurtful for anyone but yourself. Skinny-shaming is AS WRONG AND AS HURTFUL as fat-shaming. Period.

  • Kelly

    People are such assholes about weight. I used to hear that crap all the damn time.

    My weight actually impacts my ability to make a living. I can get fired or miss out on new gigs for gaining 10 pounds so I stay thin. The amount of times I’ve been told to eat or told I’m too skinny or need some meat on my bones… It boggles the mind.

    A few years ago, i started responding to rude, uninvited comments about my body with rude comments of my own. “Oh, should I eat a sandwich? Too bad you obviously ate all the sandwiches and didn’t leave me any.” “Am I really too thin? Or are you just so fat that your perception of what a healthy weight looks like is completely fucked?”

    That shit stopped so fast. I can hardly remember the last time someone dared to make a negative comment about my body.

    • moonie27

      I don’t think fat-shaming is the appropriate response to skinny-shaming.

    • Kelly

      I do. I think it’s the perfect way to point out a person’s gross hypocrisy.

      It’s like if someone is bitching about “those damn Mexicans” and you can’t take it anymore and you say something like “yeah, Hitler sure had the right idea just getting rid of all the stupid minorities” and then everybody in the room goes stone silent and the racist asshole turns red and shuts up.

      It’s the perfect way to deal with it.

    • moonie27

      It honestly seems unnecessarily cruel, especially in a society where people are constantly policed for getting too fat (and generally face more negative social consequences for being “too fat” than “too skinny”). And even the second remark seems rather – insensitive? I don’t know that I would’ve thought any better of the person who said that than the person who made the racist remark in the first place.

      For the record, when people bitch about the damn Mexicans, I either say, “Actually, a lot of my friends are Mexican-American and are DifferentFromStereotype,” or “Wow, that’s a really racist thing to say.”

    • Janok Place

      I think I see Kelly’s point, she’s not fat shaming for the sake of fat shaming. She’s meeting fire with fire. Some people turn the other cheek, some people say “EFF YOU JERK!”… I have a cousin who tells me to eat sandwiches. That I look like one of those sad, starved African children, jokes like “Oh! I didn’t see you standing there! You’re so thin you faded away”… etc, etc, etc… it goes ON and ON and ON. THEN she turned on my one year old daughter this summer, and said “Oh well aren’t you a fat little thing, what’s you’re excuse with such a scrawny mommy?”… It’s not like I blew up on her because of her weight, I blew up on her because I’m sick of her attitude. I was fine dealing her back her own cards. Being called scrawny, sickly, skinny, etc is just as hurtful as being called fat.

    • moonie27

      Yeah, but I don’t think those kinds of comments do anything but hurt/embarrass the other person. I’m always in favor of just calmly saying, “that’s not okay, please don’t say those things.” (and then refusing to engage farther or leaving the room if necessary) rather than trying to hurt the other person because they’re hurting you.

      The first one, I’ve had success with actually getting the other person to think about what they’re saying; the second attack-y method tends to only make people mad enough that they dig in their heels and get defensive.

      But then I’m not a huge fan of saying things mainly to hurt other people.

    • Janok Place

      I agree with you, and typically employ Plan A… but after the seventeenth time Plan A has failed, and it is not a person you can avoid, Plan B is implemented.

    • jessica

      I agree with you with most situations but I also think the others are correct in saying that there are a few situations- like, for example, with a person who just will not stop or respond to polite requests to stop commenting on another person’s body- where it is no longer required to care about the other person’s feelings. And it has been my personal experience that on rare occasions responding in kind is really the only way to make the other person stop and see what they are doing. Though these are rare exceptions to the rule and have only happened maybe twice in my whole life.

    • moonie27

      Maybe as a rare exception – I’m pretty good at training people not to talk about things (if you bring up a subject I’ve said is off-limits, I give one warning and then leave the conversation or room immediately) and I’ve honestly never had someone push back after a few rounds of that, so I’ve never been in the situation where Plan A didn’t work.

      It sounded like Kelly was talking about that kind of response as a rule, rather than a very rare exception, though.

    • AlbinoWino

      I think you could accomplish the same by taking the higher ground and just saying,”you know, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t comment on my size or diet”. Walk away. How can you actually think you’re better than someone if you resort to the same rude tactics? You would be an equally guilty party.

  • meah

    It is so awkward to deal with comments like that. How does one react? “Thanks?” isn’t really appropriate, since it’s not a compliment (although, I think some warped people think they are giving you a compliment by saying you are too skinny). And yet, if you act slightly offended, people will think there’s something wrong with you. I end up saying something awkward like, “oh, it’s just these pants”, and then the conversation gets weird. I just don’t understand people.

    Since when is it OK to just casually comment on someone else’s body like that?

    • moonie27

      I just say – to whatever comments people say about my body – “Well, I like the way I look.” (Or if it’s a weird weight comment, like ‘you’ve lost weight!’ I just say,”Huh. Hadn’t noticed.” and change the subject.)

    • Whatwhatque

      Ideally, we’d all start reacting to any comments on our bodies with “I would appreciate if you wouldn’t comment on my body” but it’s hard and would make things way more awkward. You could try what Kelly upthread does and completely counterattack and call the person a fat fat fatty but that seems extreme and needlessly cruel. I like the idea of being neutral and saying “oh, my body, it is how it is” like @moonie27:disqus

    • JLH1986

      A few years ago I had a just God Awful year, my grandmother died, my long time live in boyfriend left me, my mother had a heart attack, my parents divorced and finally my father passed away unexpectedly. I had lost a lot of weight from stress and depression. At my dad’s funeral everyone kept commenting on how great I looked or how I was “too skinny”. One girl even asked “how I did it”. So I told her how I did it. She shut up. not my finest moment but I was pissed, hurting and tired. Women’s bodies are public property. From Strangers touching a pregnant woman’s belly to discussing one’s weight loss/gain.

  • Melissa

    I got body shamed about being “too skinny” by 4 months postpartum. But I WAS too skinny. A combination of pumping 60 oz of breast milk per day and a diagnosis of postpartum hyperthyroidism were to blame. In any case, it’s nobody’s business how or why you got to the weight that you currently are.

    • moonie27

      I could see mentioning to a friend “Hey, you’ve dropped/gained a lot of weight in a very short period of time and sometimes that’s indicative of medical problems- is everything okay?/maybe you want to see your doctor.” but that’s about it.

    • pixie

      I actually have mentioned to a really close friend before that she lost a ton of weight in a really short period of time and asked if everything was alright with her. That’s really the only time I comment on anyones weight, is if I’m close with them and they drastically lose weight. This girl insisted she was fine, so I didn’t push it any further, but it was a noticeable amount of weight in a very short span of time. She also had a history of drugs, so I was also kind of worried that, plus not eating, caused her sudden weight loss, but trusted her to come to me if she needed help. (never asked her about the drugs outright, we had a very open, trusting, and non-judgemental relationship, so I like to think if she had started using again she would have told me).

    • Kay_Sue

      I think this is totally appropriate between good friends. My best friend has picked up on the fact that I drop weight when I am stressed, and also that I tend to keep things to myself when I enter a depressive episode. Often, the two go together. So she’s quick to say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’re dropping weight, is everything okay?” And it’s not offensive in the slightest–she’s been there for me through thick and thin (pun intended and slightly witty, if I say so myself) and it’s great to have someone that will go out on the limb and make sure I’m taking are of myself.

  • pixie

    I have a fairly long torso and a small frame, so what weight I do gain tends not to show for a while. I also gain most of my weight on my stomach. I have a decent metabolism and I’ve always been fairly active growing up as well. I remember once in high school I made an off-hand comment on how I wish my stomach was flatter. I didn’t call myself fat or anything, I knew I wasn’t overweight, but I didn’t like how I gained weight on my stomach. One of my friends looked at me and said “are you serious? You’re like anorexic thin, you don’t need to lose anything. You should probably eat more.”
    At the time I was about 5’5 and 125 lbs. I wore my weight well, and a lot of it was in my chest (I inherited a large chest from someone in my family, it seems), but in no way was I close to being anorexic. This friend had seen me devour medium pizzas to myself before. Plus, I had friends (still do) who legitimately struggle with eating disorders and knew how hard it was on their mental well-being and no, I did not look anything like them.

    • Muggle

      I’ve been wanting to get in shape for a while now, just because I’m really out of shape. Of course, nobody realizes this because I’m 105 lbs (and obviously skinny people never have asthma or any other health problem that can be improved by better physical fitness… whatever). But I told my fiance this, and he thought it was because I wanted to lose weight. This is a man who is well aware of all the shit I’ve been put through just because of my genes, and he still thought I needed to lose weight. He went so far as to tell me I was always going to be beautiful in his eyes, which would have been sweet if he wasn’t so horribly wrong.

      Apparently he was under this impression because I mentioned that it was hard to get motivated to work out when literally everyone only talks about it in relation to losing weight, and when everyone tells me that I’m so thin already and that I should EAT MOAR blah blah blah. Yeah….

    • pixie

      That sucks big time. And I hear you on the motivation part. Even at my heaviest, earlier this year (close to 160 lbs at 5’6) I was still told by a lot of people that I should eat more and didn’t need to go to the gym. Never mind that my stamina sucks and I get out of breath super easy now that I’m not as active as I was as a kid. I managed to drop 20 lbs over the summer because I had three jobs and two of them were pretty physically demanding and I had less time to sit around and eat or go to the bar with friends.
      I’m rooting for you! Getting fit can be a huge struggle when you don’t have motivation, but I believe in you. :)

    • Muggle

      I miss the days where strenuous physical exercise was written right into my class schedule. I really do, because then at least I had the motivation to get an easy A.

  • NicknamesAreDull

    I hate the “too skinny” police. I like to respond “Oh, I didn’t realize you got your doctorate and have read my medical record. Congratulations, I’m sorry I missed your graduation!”

  • Heather

    Remember, you’re only acceptable if you have a wittled waist, a j.Lo Ass, c cup breasts, a symmetrical face, and sculted calves. If you don’t have those things, you are worthless.

    *THAT WAS SARCASM*

    • jessica

      Its not even that “simple” though! Beauty is pretty subjective and all women are kind of expected to live up to everyone else’s individual and quite different preferences all at the same time!! It’s just… ARGH. I have no words! So I should be blond and brunette all at the same time, tall and lanky while also curvy and with big boobs but not too big, etc. NONSENSICAL.

  • pineapplegrasss

    I absolutely hate being called things like ‘skinny minny’ and it is meant to be shaming and it’s usually said by chubby girls whom I assume have a problem with their own body . And I’ve never been underweight. I have been 105-115lb (5’2) range for the past 25yrs and then add 15lbs or so when pregnant. And I have a sister who is super skinny and many times people imply or act like she’s a meth user, based on weight appearance only.

    • AP

      I’m super skinny myself (5’5″, 105 lbs.) and I’m tired of taking abuse for it, too. I’ve had my meal orders questioned, been called a freak by a nurse weighing me, been accused of having an eating disorder countless times, been told I’m not a “real woman”, been laughed at when I can’t find a pair of jeans that fits right, and been told to “enjoy it while you can, you won’t stay this thin.” (I might not…or I might. I can’t see into the future!)

      If you look at old family pictures, my body type goes back several generations. It’s genetically how I’m built. I know my own body, its size, and how it works, what food it needs and what foods it doesn’t like. I don’t insult other people and their bodies, and I don’t think I should have mine insulted either.

    • pineapplegrasss

      And my mother still wears sweats under her jeans to fill them out.

  • Alfreda Wells Morrissey

    This stems from one thing: jealousy. I have always been on the heavy side. Nobody has ever called me too skinny. I am not sure I have ever actually called somebody too skinny, as I try really hard not to comment on other people’s bodies, but I have fallen in the trap of thinking people are too skinny. If I really evaluate myself and look for the source of this, it is simply because I am jealous of skinny people. I would LOVE to have somebody tell me I was too skinny.

    The first time I had a skinny friend complain about her body. My reaction was, “But you are gorgeous, you are skinny.” I hope I did not say this in a belittling way to her. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I remember being amazed that somebody so thin could be insecure. I have since read articles about thin, insecure women’s point of view about how they are not validated for their insecurities. This made me re-evaluate every comment I ever said in this regard. I had no idea the people I envied had insecurities too. I thought everybody wanted to be thin, and they are thin, so they are happy. I am sure I have hurt people’s feelings due to my naivete.

    As for the “you are too skinny” comment. Every time that comes to my lips I bite my tongue to keep the words from coming out because my brain knows I want to consider them too skinny so I can convince myself that I am not too fat by comparison. I also remind myself that skinny people have feelings too. If the person is someone you are close to, I would even tell them it hurts you when they say that. If my skinny friend had told me this I would have apologized profusely and been more sensitive. If they brush you off, maybe they are not that great a friend.

    The same goes for people who feel overweight but they smaller than you by comparison. My response was always, “I wish I was your weight” or “Well if you are fat then what am I?”. I meant it as a compliment but have since learned that even though those people never said anything, those responses are belittling. The problem is people see the world through their own insecurities and unless they have experienced multiple points of view or multiple states of being they cannot relate to you. The only way to combat this is through communication. This is why articles like this are important. They provide a voice for the women who are offended but too shy to speak up.

    • Muggle

      There are far more things to be insecure about than just weight. Hair, nose shape, complexion, height, etc. I have a lot to be insecure about (or at least, I think so) so when people started in going on about how thin I was and how sick I looked, I felt like I didn’t have a damn thing to be proud of, and like I was some irreparably ugly creature.

      I hate the comments like “I wish I was your weight” because from my experience, nobody wishes they were “anorexic.” I know you realize that you may have hurt people’s feelings, but a lot of people really don’t. Though I’m not sure that it’s always about jealousy, at least in the rural South.

    • Alfreda Wells Morrissey

      My experiences are not exactly representative of the population because I come from a tiny rural town in BC, Canada, max population: 1000 people. 300 kids in the town from kindergarten to grade 12. The girl with the small wrist was prized. I think she was actually pretty proud of it because she liked to show off how small it was. She was not exceptionally skinny, but I guess she was small boned. All the girls in the class used to compare wrist sized so we could see who was big boned and small boned. I don’t think anybody was ever told they were too skinny, but kids were teased for being too fat. We would have skits on anorexia and bulimia, and then would talk for the next month about how we wished we had the willpower to be anorexic. Teenage girls are really idiots.

      For the girls who ate tons of crap and were skinny we would tell them we are jealous and they would say, “I know, I am so lucky!” They were lauded for it and popular because of it. I was not all that overweight, worked out a lot, did aerobics, but I thought I was huge. It really did paint a rosy picture for the thin girls. They were gods in our school.

      Once I moved to a bigger city to go to university, less of a big deal was made about it, but I also lost weight since I was no longer eating my mother’s cooking. Life was amazing. Boys were attracted to me. People told me I looked good all the time. My sister was overweight and jealous of me, but still told me I look amazing and that I was so lucky. Then I had kids and gained way more weight than I ever had before. My husband thinks I look awful. I am sure my sister is secretly happy because I am probably bigger than her now. It really looked to me like being thin was the holy grail.

      Then I met a skinny friend who casually mentioned something about being insecure. It was the first time I had ever considered that maybe there were other things to be insecure about.

      The town was a bit of a sinkhole though. Kids that smoked and had sex were the cool kids. Kids that did well in school were nerds. I was a nerd with catholic parents. Now I hear from my husband that in his school the popular kids had to be smart and good looking and the people that smoked and did drugs were considered losers. I guess I just grew up in a bubble.

      I was lucky in that since I left the sinkhole, I have never really had friends that comment on my body, besides telling me I look amazing if I lose any weight. If I gain weight no comment. I am easily offended though, so if a friend made me feel bad, I would conveniently be too busy to hang out with them.

    • Janok Place

      I think it just depends on your wording at the end of the day. Skinny, to me, is akin to scrawny. Neither word produces a pleasant image in my mind. Thin I will accept as a compliment (Unless “too” thin is used). I think larger women are gorgeous, I see no difference between a size 2 and a size 14 as far as beauty is concerned. It’s how you carry yourself, your style, your body language, the expression on your face… this is how I determine beauty. I’ve got friends twice my size who I envy, who I think are drop dead gorgeous. Not because I necessarily wish I was larger but because they have the confidence, charisma and style I often times feel I lack. I think what people have to start to appreciate is that “too” skinny, “too” fat are subjective and at the end of the day it is the women who are real, down to earth and confident who really take home that prize and we should all encourage eachother to be precisely those things. Not a size two. Telling a woman she can’t be sexy because she’s not a stick figure is BS, and just as hurtful as telling a thin girl that REAL women have curves. Real women support one another, and by the sounds of your post YOU are the kind of lady-friend we all need more of. As a skinny girl, I say, don’t sweat it :)

  • Guest

    I had a one pound gain in my pregnancy. I weighed 342, lost 16 lbs. through nearly 5 months of morning sickness, and gained back 17 lbs. in my final trimester. Today, over 13 years later, I weigh less than 342, but not by much. I have gained and lost drastic amounts of weight in my lifetime, and I’ve been told I’m too skinny AND too fat, so I’ve experienced both sides of the coin. Neither comment is appropriate nor welcomed.

  • blh

    People expect moms to look frumpy and fat forget apparently. I lost the baby weight in five months and I didn’t particularly try. When people say you’re too skinny they’re generally just jealous. So I’d take it as a compliment.

  • CatB

    Some people are happy with a “mummy tummy” they say “love your body” and that’s fine, but if you liked how you were naturally before you got pregnant you know what that really isn’t loving yourself any less. You know your own body better than anybody else whether you leave it the way it is because it makes you feel comfortable or work on it until it does make you feel comfortable again is entirely your business, nobody elses.

    But there are definitely two types of “body acceptance” people. Those (type 1) that genuinely don’t want to see other people get bullied for their size, and those (type 2) that use body acceptance as a covert outlet for their own jealousy and insecurities because they didn’t have enough type 1-ers in their own life when they needed them the most.

  • Sara

    I’m currently in the throes of anorexia, so for me, “You’re too skinny,” IS a compliment. But so is, “you look sick.” In my twisted mind, I read these comments that say, “it’s an insult, it’s hurtful,” and I think to myself that you’re all lying to yourselves, but the rational part of me (which still exists….sometimes,) believes it….it, being the fact that it’s just RUDE to comment on anyone’s body, fat or thin or in between. Our society is a breeding ground for eating disorders. :(

    • My Oubliette

      I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you’re going through all that awfulness. I hope that you reach a point where you feel okay with yourself and your body. Much love xo

    • Sara

      Thank you for the compassion. I’m more used to lectures, when sometimes all I really want is a hug.

    • My Oubliette

      Anytime. There’s so much misunderstanding floating around regarding EDs…I’ve never experienced one myself, but I’ve watched friends go through them and I can see the hell they experience. I wish there was more awareness of the causes, dangers, huge mental components, etc. It’s super irritating. “Anorexic” should NEVER be used as an insult. Yuck.

      *Hugs*

  • SA

    You should never, EVER comment on another person’s body unless what is going to come out of your mouth is “You look Ah-mazing” (said with complete sincerity)

  • AlbinoWino

    I am on board with the whole idea of just not commenting on people’s bodies. I think it’s in poor taste. I don’t even think it’s necessarily good to comment on weight loss since you might not know how that person lost the weight. I myself have shed a couple of pounds from stress before which is hardly healthy and I don’t want people to congratulate me on that. I have always been skinny and while I am still uncomfortable about people commenting on my body positively or negatively, I still believe that we don’t have things nearly as bad as skinny folk. Sometimes I secretly like when people (usually old people) try to fatten me up. I occasionally have people at work walk by and see me eating candy and comment, “oh, you’d better not eat that, you skinny thing. You must just work out a lot!” I find this invasive and rude but I usually just shrug. I have also witnessed a larger woman at my work publicly shamed in front of coworkers for snacking on chips and M&Ms which I find infinitely worse. I definitely look at it from the cultural perspective. I used to work with teenage girls at a treatment center and when they wanted to insult me they’d sometimes call me an anorexic bitch. I just shrugged it off. But when they would call one of my coworkers a fat ass, I was way more hurt by that and it wasn’t even directed at me.

  • cold_ember

    This just sounds like a massive humble brag to me.

    • Eevee-chan

      How the fuck do you really think this is bragging? I’m so fucking done lmao. Believe it or not it fucking hurts being harassed for look like a “skeleton”. It fucking hurts when people make horrible assumptions about you and treat you differently because of your weight. Just like it fucking sucks when people trash others for being “fat lazy slobs”. Just fucking no. If people stopped being so fucking one-sided and took the time to look at all sides of the spectrum then we wouldn’t be having ignorant dumb ass comments like this.

  • Jim King

    If you don’t lose the baby weight quickly, then something is wrong with
    you. If you do lose the baby weight, then something is wrong with you.

    Well, there’s definitely something wrong with you but it’s neither of those things.

  • http://be.net/danielacortez Daniela Cortez Vassallo

    i am frequently skinny shamed, to the point of eating a lot more food in public than i would eat if i were alone, so people would stop giving me shit about having an eating disorder. the thing is people just can’t get over other peoples’ bodies, skinny or fat. go take care of your own bodies, pweeeease

  • Seidhr

    Thank you. I cannot state how irritating I find it to constantly be skinny-shamed. Particularly by “body acceptance” people.

    • Muggle

      So ironic, isn’t it?

    • Seidhr

      It is. Except that I realized some time ago that “body acceptance” people is really shorthand for “body acceptance if you’re overweight and fuck you if you’re skinny” people.

  • Eevee-chan

    Some of y’all seem to be stuck on one side of things. The media and shit does glamorize a lot thinner women more yes I agree but outside of the media? Ha I’m sorry but most people think thin girls are “disgusting”. They think that the only people who could be healthy and beautiful are slightly bigger curvier women and not skinny women or a bit more on the heavier side. It’s fucking bullshit. People basically tell me I’m not aloud to feel like shit when people bash me for not being a “real woman” because “you have the media and fashion industry” well fuck them. The fashion industry is shit, the media is shit, they don’t know shit and they don’t give a fuck about ANY of us. They just give a shit about making money. Ain’t nobody have it easier than anyone and if you think someone does then you’re full of shit. Once you stop being closed minded and one sided then you’ll realize the hurt everyone else also experiences.