• Tue, Dec 3 - 11:00 am ET

Having A Kid Before 25 Sounds About As Fun As A Kick In The Vag To Me

85906176Ermahgerd. There are times when I see an interesting tidbit of research or an unreasonably controversial poll, like this here Gallup poll, that makes me want to roll my eyes and get out the popcorn to see all the cray-cray fights that are sure to ensue.

Ready? A recent Gallup poll of 5100 adults confirmed that Americans consider 25 or younger to be the ideal age for a woman to have her first child. Before I poke the bear on this one, I’ll throw in my personal story so that you can see where I’m coming from.

I had my first son when I was 28 and my second son when I was 29. (I know, I know, 16 months apart – eep!) But now the baby factory is closed forever, thanks to a beautiful medical breakthrough that I like to call the vasectomy.

I managed to get my child rearing done rapid-fire, which finished my pregnancy chapter before I hit 30. It wasn’t necessarily planned that way, but I do hear through the grapevine (Facebook) that tons of women want to have a kid by the time they’re 30, like some kind of self-imposed deadline.

The only reason my husband and I decided to have kids at 28 was purely because of money. We got married when we were 26, which I hilariously thought was “old” at the time. A lot of my bias about marrying age had to do with the fact that I grew up in a religious family. There really was a joke that circulated when I was younger about women going to church to get their “MRS degree” (or, get wifed up).

Thankfully, no God-fearing holy roller was interested in me at the time, or I probably would have gotten married right away. Because it’s what I thought I should do.

Fast-forward a few years, and my pendulum swung in the opposite direction. (No surprise there!) I was partying and dating douche bags in my early 20s. I would have hitched my wagon to almost any douche that gave me a second glance (as many insecure twenty-somethings are prone to do). Thankfully, once again, no douche was interested enough in me to “put a ring on it.”

You can reach this post's author, Bethany Ramos, on twitter.
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  • EX

    So, I am sure there are people out there who make these really conscious, well-thought out plans of when to have a baby and actually see those plans through but I think, for the most of us, it happens when it happens (not necessarily the pregnancy part, which we have some control over, but the meeting the right partner, settling down part). When I was a kid I planned to have two kids at age 28 and 30. A boy and then a girl. Had their names picked out and everything. As it turned out I didn’t even meet my husband until I was 28 (which was also when I was finishing up grad school) so that whole plan went out the window. Didn’t have my first until my mid-30s. And I’m working on our second girl. Also, it turns out he has an opinion on what to name the kids. Who could have predicted that?

  • Drea

    I’m 22 and recently married (as in it hasn’t even been two weeks). My husband and I have made our own decision about children and it most likely won’t happen until after I have turned 25. Our stipulations are: 1) After we move to AZ (his parents will be moving back there in a couple of years). 2) We both have to be in our careers for a little while (aka the insurance has kicked in) 3) We have to be living on our own 4) We have to have some time as a married couple and 5) Due to a host of issues, I have to be declared healthy enough by a doctor to have a child.

    I regret none of this.

  • HS

    I had my son at 23. Whooo wheee! I thought I was a woman grown, cain’t nobody tellll me what to do! 5 years later I realize how young I really was and can’t help but wonder how the hell I managed to keep another human alive this long lol! Luckily I had already finished college, had a job with benefits, etc. Needless to say, I’m also single cuz that’s how men are at 23. (Not all, but a whoooole bunch! Hell, even y’all ladies whose young hubby’s fart rainbows and glitter will look back and realize he still had a lot of maturing to do). Either way, I think you do it when YOU’RE ready, and if an oops happens, then you just roll with it. There is no ideal age.

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