10 Reasons To Buy The Fisher-Price Ipad Apptivity Seat, AKA The Parenting Fail Seat

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The Fisher-Price Ipad Apptivity Seat may be the most impressive infant/toddler gear we’ve ever seen. At a mere $75 it’s really a bargain and would be great for a certain kind of parent. From the offices of Mommyish – we’ve developed a list of opinions and desires this parent may have, to help you figure out if you know anyone who would like to receive this triumph of technology.

Babies are overrated and you hate cuddling.

You want your dumb kid to get great at Angry Birds.

Strapping your baby to a seat and FORCING them to stare at a screen will create that zombie baby you’ve always wanted.

You’ve always aspired to the title, “Worst Parent, Ever.”

You really want to buy your toddler some cute glasses.

You can’t get your baby’s seat close enough to your TV – he still manages to look around.

 

You are sick of updating his Twitter status for him.

It’s never too early to teach your kid to do your taxes.

Attachment parenting is for weirdos and people without iPads.

This parenting thing is really not for you.

Also, the reviews for this thing are glowing, as evidenced by the titles the purchasers gave them. You can follow the links to read the reviews in their entirety.

Don’t buy it, tell all your friends not to buy it, and for goodness sake don’t give it to a BABY!!

If you care about your child do not buy this

Horrible. Damaging. Terrible idea.

the WORST

Worst thing you could do to your baby

Please, do humanity a favor and DO NOT buy this!!

(photo: Amazon)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • SA

      “You can’t get your baby’s seat close enough to the TV – he still manages to look around”…..hahahaha!

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      I kind of just assume all babies are like the E-Trade baby and can do my taxes and manage a decent stock portfolio for me.

      • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

        Wait! Nevermind. I am buying this. I just realized I can jury-rig it so that *I* can lie in it and and watch Netflix without having to bend my neck. Now I just need a beverage with a bendy straw.

      • keelhaulrose

        I think you’re on to something. The mom who buy this thing are just preparing for a menial desk job later in life. Junior, best get used to sitting in front of a screen eight hours a day, then coming home and unwinding in front of a screen. They’re just preparing their kids for the soul-crushing reality of adult life.

      • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

        Oh man, now I’m bummed out. My job totally involves sitting in front of a screen, then I unwind in front of another screen. (I work from home, so they’re not even really different screens.)

        Now I feel bad … I think I need a few minutes in the Apptivity seat. (That thing really does need a cup holder.)

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I read through all of the positive reviews because I was curious. Many of them are blissfully sarcastic (“I recorded a video of myself cooing at my baby! Now I don’t have to spend time with him at all!”). Some of them mention that apparently it’s quite good for special needs toddlers who can’t sit up unsupported. That makes sense and seems reasonable.

    • kate

      exosaucer to the nth degree…or as my husband and I refer to it, “the circle of neglect.” (Don’t get me wrong, my daughter loves her circle of neglect, err, independent playtime while I make dinner).

      • keelhaulrose

        My crowning moment, as a mother, was the day my eighteen month old pushed her Circle of Neglect over to the coffee table, and climbed in, all in the span it took me to use the bathroom. I actually said (and I was on the phone with my grandmother at the time): “You can do it yourself now? Awesome! All I have to do now is teach you to get your own meals from the fridge and I’m done with this parenting shit!”
        You know your grandmother loves you when she doesn’t call the authorities after that statement.

    • Toastlette

      It’s like a trainer version of the setup from A Clockwork Orange! Fisher Price, helping you raise the next generation of Droogs…

      • EX

        Does it come with clips to keep their eyes open?

      • esuzanne

        It made me think of that too! Or something out of Brazil.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      It reminds me of the people in Wall-e.

    • keelhaulrose

      I’m all for babies being comfortable while their little minds are turned to mush, but not if they get a more comfortable seat than mommy.

    • Rachel Sea

      That’s some bullshit. Any decent tv recliner has a cup holder. Is the baby just supposed to drop their bottle on the floor? What is this, Animal house?

    • Kay_Sue

      I don’t want one for my kid, but do they make them in adult sizes? I could dig it.

    • Kate B

      Ok, I think you are taking the sanctimony a bit far with your “you aspire to the title of worst parent ever!”.
      I did as you suggested and looked through the reviews, although not just the negative ones you suggested.
      And it turns out the majority of the parents using this seat are the parents of disabled children who are using it in very short bursts as a learning aid.
      It is supposed to be used with Fisher Price’s own specially developed apps; it’s not designed so your baby can play Angry Birds.
      Sure, at first, my knee-jerk reaction was one of profound discomfort.
      But then I read the review I’ve pasted below, and it made me feel like a jerk for being such a superior and sanctimonious idiot:

      This sort of thing may not be to your taste, but it’s silly to accuse parents like

      one above of being terrible parents.
      Let’s get some perspective here.
      Neglect and physical, emotional or sexual abuse makes someone a terrible parent.
      A terrible parent is not someone who has made different choices and has different values to you.

      “This product isn’t for locking away your newborn and forcing them to watch endless hours of TV. The iPad is not right in the face of your baby and you have a choice between iPad or iPad mini. The intent s not for your baby to watch movies, it is intended fir the learning apps fisher price created for development of eyes, cause and effect, etc. using the learning apps (which are free) 20-30 minutes a couple times a day will not damage your babies eyes, and actually strengthens the muscles of the eyes (the apps encourage eye tracking) which helps prevent lazy eye or crossed eyes. They have two apps in white, black, and red known to stimulate the babies brain. The bar rotates so you can move it out of the way when you don’t need it. I have a son with Down Syndrome, and he uses these various apptivity sets for his development, and at 19 months old he is doing amazingly well. I am grateful to Fisher Price for their research and development and great products. This seat is a great teaching and therapy tool, and is definitely not meant for neglecting your child. My son is now too old, and too mobile to sit still long enough for this chair, but he still enjoys the apps on the other apptivity sets they have available, and the iPad has been helpful in getting him to crawl and walk, and he’s already ahead in speech for his age. Anyway, used appropriately, this is a very helpful tool in development.”

    • JadePanda

      Ouch! While not on our Christmas list this year, parts of this article felt unnecessarily judgy and rubbed me the wrong way.

      Some of these are the same “reasons” Sanctimommy’s give why babies shouldn’t be in swings, bouncers, playpens, or basically any location where they are not in your arms and attached to your teat 24/7. Doesn’t mean the parents don’t like to cuddle their kids, are against attachment parenting (and even if they are, so what?), or are hellbent on damaging their baby.

      I just cringe when the title of Worst Parent is bestowed on anyone who is not abusing and/or neglecting their kids. And by neglect, I mean failure to care for a child’s basic needs, not putting them down for a few minutes…

    • KarenMS

      This would be amazing for many of the babies I work with. However, many of the babies I work with have no muscle tone or control and never ever will move independently or speak. I can only hope this toy was made with them in mind? Maybe? Probably not :-(

    • Adam Fitzgerald

      My toddler would love this. She never had a bouncer as a baby but her brother has one (because 2 under 2) and she steals it, she also loves sesame street o Netflix and it comes on at ungodly hours here so she could watch it while I catch up on Revenge. Also I’m totally jealous of regular bouncers annd considering purchasing a stand alone hammock for TV watching

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