I read a post today where a woman is clearly taking the high road and trying to convince those that have been cheated on that they should rid themselves of toxic emotions by forgiving “the other woman.” Fuck that.
The article is called 7 Reasons To Forgive The Other Woman. Here are the reasons, followed by the reasons I disagree.
1. She probably had no idea.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that someone is taken. Is his cellphone always off? Does he not answer it in your presence? Have you ever been to his home? Does he have a Facebook profile? Seriously – everyone has a public persona in this day and age – and if you don’t know how to use Google than you are an idiot.
2. She’s probably just as upset about this as you.
3. She probably believed she was cared about.
4. It’s not her fault there were other problems in your relationship (aside from him cheating).
This is some blame-y, blame-y bullshit right here. Yes, it’s the fault of the person who was betrayed, not the betrayer. I hate that reasoning. Guess what? Most relationships have problems. Doesn’t make it okay to lie, cheat, and be an otherwise horrible human being.
5. She’s probably a good person.
Well, no one is saying that she tortures kittens in her free time, but dating someone who is unavailable is yucky.
6. Forgiving her will help YOU move forward.
No it won’t.
7. And most importantly, no woman ever wants to be “the other woman.”
Well, this is a sweeping generalization that I hate. Not every woman wants to be happily married or even cares if a man is taken. Not every man does either.
Here’s the thing – nobody is perfect. People get bored and unhappy in relationships all the time. If you are not in an open relationship – this is the time to exit stage left. I realize that there are circumstances that make that hard – but cheating is for cowards and those who are so unable to not be viewed as “right” or “perfect” that they cheat instead of owning up to the fact that they are unhappy. Or they just want EVERYTHING without letting their partner have the same, which is uncool. As far as the other woman or man is concerned – yes, maybe they are sad or whatever, but I don’t think “forgiveness” is necessary to move on. You don’t know the person and in most cases will probably never see them again.
I guess I just take the low road on this one – and I’m okay with that.
(Image: Getty Images)