TGI Friday Open Thread: Julia Has A Question About After Baby P-In-The-V Sex

152406758Since all you perverts asked that we talk about sex more, here is a question proposed by the amazingly lovely Julia who wanted to know:

how long did you wait after having your baby to let a dick in you again?

 

This was her actual quote.

As I said in the latest Poly Mom piece, I cannot deal with like having sex when my kids are close by. It freaks me the hell out. That is all I have to say about sex. For now. I don’t know, it’s just so personal and boring in a way. Sex is lovely and fun and amazing but I just don’t feel the need to say much more at this moment. But YOU GUYS, feel free. Sex it on up in this sexy sexy sexy Open Thread!

In other Mommyish news, our awesome reader CMJ sent me this and asked me if it was too expensive:

Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 2.10.58 PM

I say no, because hell yeah it’s an ombré tree and that’s amazing. What do you say? I haven’t had a real Christmas tree in years because I’m terrified my dog may lose his mind and pee on it. But I may get one this year.

What is everyone doing this weekend? What are you reading/eating/watching and drinking?

Have you started Christmas/Holiday shopping yet? So here it is, an open thread about Christmas trees and sex after baby! WooHoo!

Lemme go get a drink for this.

(Image: getty)

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    • NicknamesAreDull

      We waited about 8 weeks.

    • Julia Sonenshein

      Also, what is sex and how are babies made?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        what is this sex you speak of?

      • Julia Sonenshein

        plz help me.

      • NicknamesAreDull

        Sex is when you go out for coffee together.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        and you don’t have to pay for it

      • NicknamesAreDull

        Well, some people pay for it.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        The coffee? I’m not drinking coffee with anyone who makes me pay for it

      • NicknamesAreDull

        True story: When I was like, 9, I asked my grandmother what sex was, and she said “Sex is when two adults go out for coffee and he mixes his cream with her sugar”.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I love this so much. I love your grandma, I want this cross-stitched on a pillow

      • DatNanny

        Eve, I know what I’m getting you for Christmas. What’s the mailing address for the Mommyish offices?

      • candyvines

        How is babby formed?

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Oooh ooh I have a good story about this!

      Picture it: a hospital in a big city in Canada, 2011. I gave birth the night before, via forceps (beautiful giant-headed baby that was never intended for my tiny body to birth…one of the few downsides of reciprocal IVF). The nurse was reviewing my aftercare instructions (you know, lovely stuff like ‘if you have pain while pooping, take a laxative!’ and “enjoy having your period for the next 4 weeks!”) before sending my wife and I home.

      She gets to the part where she’s supposed to say “No sex for 6 weeks”. She looks at me. She looks at my wife. She looks at her form. “So um, no…uh…actually I guess…um…hmm…yeah, no sex for 6 weeks”.

      AWKWARD. She was looking at us so confused I swear she was 6 seconds away from asking us “how [we] DO IT”.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        For the record, I believe we waited at least 6 weeks to like, do anything, but actually a few months before we did anything that resembles a P in a V. I had a third degree tear dudes, I was scared.

        I’m assuming there’s no such thing as TMI in this thread, right?

      • Andrea

        You mentioned reciprocal IVF before..what does that mean? Sorry, if it is too personal.

        I would guess the 6 week rule applies to lesbians as well. I thought the restriction was because you basically had an open wound and a lot of trauma and there shouldn’t be any fingers, tongues, or penises in there in order not to risk infection?

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I’m guessing that’s why awkward nurse eventually did decide that yes, we should also abstain.

        Reciprocal IVF – basically, we used my wife’s eggs and my uterus. So I was her surrogate or she was my egg donor, depending on which way you look at it. We did it so we could both be part of the process….I wanted to be pregnant, she wanted to have genetic offspring (she’s adopted).

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        That is so sweet

      • DeanaCal

        Thank you for explaining! I was thinking it was something like taking turns, but had a feeling that wasn’t exactly right.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter
      • Bethany Ramos

        Hahahaha

      • Cee

        You get your period….for four weeks?!

        Hah yea, I am not having a child but gay sex discussions with doctors is really odd. My doctor struggles with words and I just cringe

      • Andrea

        Four weeks if you are lucky. Closer to 6 for me.
        EDIT: and it’s not your normal fun period either. It’s gross and clotty (at least at 1st)

      • Cee

        *blink*

        How come nobody ever told me this?!
        Is it heavy? Light?
        I am going to appreciate my week long period a whole lot more from now on.

      • cesp

        I think it’s different for everyone. Mine lasted about two week and was fairly normal.

      • Andrea

        No one tells you that kind of shit until after you give birth. It’s like a conspiracy. I think the reasoning is that if we knew what we were in for, no one would do it and the human race would die out. :p

      • cesp

        I remember going into the bathroom right after giving birth, looking down at my lady bits and feeling overcome with terror and confusion. Looking back I should have known that after pushing out a tiny human things would look a little…swollen….but noone had ever warned me about it. I think that no matter how much you takl to others and read parenting websites you will never be fully prepaired for the changes that you go through.

      • AP

        My husband had laser lithotripsy for kidney stones, in which the doctor sticks a laser scope the size of a Bic pen up one’s urethra to play Medical Asteroids and zap the stone to bits. (The nurse demonstrated with a pen while he was in recovery. He was not amused.)

        He was so swollen after, he wouldn’t change in front of me for two months.

      • http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

        We learned a bunch of it in prenatal classes, actually. That’s where I got the tip about wearing adult diapers instead of pads for the first while after you have a baby — that way if you’re sitting for awhile and stand up, you don’t just overflow everything. :/

        The part I was a bit disappointed about was that I’d been led to believe that my c-section meant my bleeding would be less/take less time. No such luck — I was about 4 or 5 weeks to the day (pretty sure I’d stopped by my 6-week post-checkup). I am/was also one of the lucky ones that bled for about 5 weeks post (6-week) miscarriage. Yay for a body that produces good blood volume, I guess. :/

      • TngldBlue

        When I was about 36 weeks into my pregnancy a good friend gave me a gift basket. Included in said gift basket were Depends and Tucks medicated pads. That is exactly when I began to freak the fuck out.

      • Peggy

        I remember reading about “padsicles” when I was pregnant. Yep.

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        I made those! They were really helpful.

      • jsterling93

        No one warns you. Mine varied from heavy to light and back again. It was clotty and then when I thought it was over I got globs of mucus like I had never seen. I called my Ob/GYN in a panic thinking something was wrong only to find out this is NORMAL. I was not amused.

      • pixie

        I have a pretty heavy period to begin with and have a pretty strong stomach, but my first reaction to learning this (just now) was to act like a five year old and run around screaming “ewewewewewew”. Thankfully I’m on a train and can’t do that.
        That is one thing I will not be looking forward to when I finally decide to have a baby. *shudder*

      • Tinyfaeri

        It depends on the person. Mine was heavy for a few days, moderate for about a week and light for a few weeks after that. There’s a pretty wide variety of “normal.” It’s one of those “before you panic and look on the internet, talk to your doc or midwife” things.

      • Rachel Sea

        It varies. Google “lochia” when you aren’t planning on eating for a few hours.

      • Cee

        No such time exists in my world!

      • AP

        There was one on STFU Parents last Thanksgiving. It was a postpartum pad with a giant clot on it, with the caption, “I made cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving!”

      • Ptownsteveschick

        I firmly believe that if instead of the “you don’t want to get pregnant and have a baby you can’t handle” style of sex ed for teenagers, if someone was like “Hey, you are gonna bleed like hell for probably 6 weeks and have to wear a giant diaper pad all the time and still have to buy all new underwear afterwards, oh and also SCARS on your vagina are probable.” No teenage pregnancy EVER AGAIN!

      • Looks like no P-n-the-v for me

        After reading this my uterus went on strike and my vag retreated up inside me and somehow zipped itself shut. I seriously think you’re on to something.

      • Guest

        Umm, you know your vagina is already inside you right? I don’t understand how so many women have no idea about 50% of what goes on with their bodies. No, I don’t have children. Seriously, where did y’all think all the lining, blood, and other stuff went?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        OOO TELL US ABOUT OUR VAGINAS

      • meteor_echo

        Add “possibility of incontinence” to the mix, and they won’t have unprotected sex, like, ever.

      • Véronique Houde

        honestly, i can’t remember… but it’s not fun. it lasts forever. i think it was heavy at first and then it was just mainly spotting

      • EX

        I remember before getting discharged from the hospital the doctor told me to call if I “pass anything larger than a fist” and I remember thinking “um, no shit I’m going to call the do ctor if a blood clot the size of my fist comes out of me.” Anyway, my bleeding was pretty light in the end. I don’t remember how long it lasted but it wasn’t nearly as traumatic as that warning had been.

      • Peggy

        I had a section, but still had bleeding for a couple weeks, which was definitely not like my usual period.

      • 24

        it was closer to 6 weeks, and the worst part was when, around 2-3 days after giving birth, I passed something that looked like a fucking sting ray! I measured it and phoned our public health office. Apparently, it was nothing to worry about.

      • esuzanne

        It never. Ends.

    • Andrea

      First of all, I resemble the implication that pervs are asking for more sex. Although I WOULD point out that the recent polymom article talking about sex had more than 60 comments. So there.

      Second of all, to the actual question. My gyno said 6 weeks. I was pretty sure that was standard? Although, I honest to goodness SERIOUSLY considered lying to my husband and telling him I wasn’t “healed” yet. I was so fucking tired and overwhelmed and my body was SO NOT MY OWN that I just could not fathom the thought of anyone touching it. Ever again.

      • alice

        the lying sounds like a good idea actually.

      • Andrea

        I just couldn’t lie. He wasn’t being the most understanding husband in the history of new fathers, BUT I just couldn’t lie to him. I explained as best I could that I just couldn’t do it. I explained how I was feeling. He understood, or at least hid his disappointment pretty well. It was a tough time in our marriage, but we got through it.

        Also, for me, I just kinda had to make the effort. Even though the 1st time I was SO NOT IN THE MOOD, I just kinda went with it, and eventually, I got into it!

      • Véronique Houde

        my doula took pictures of the birth. had my boyfriend tried shit on me before i was ready, i think i would just have taken those horrid pictures out and reminded him what my lady bits recently went through ;)

      • Andrea

        Not a bad idea! LOL

        But you know in fairness, we didn’t have sex weeks (months?) before I gave birth because I was huge and swollen and just not in the mood. So add 6 weeks to that. The man was pretty desperate. Still, he understood. Sorta anyways.

      • http://ichasekids.com/ Litterboxjen

        OMFG. I read your comment as “had my boyfriend shit on me before I was ready” and I can’t even articulate what my mind then tried to process.

      • Harriet Meadow

        6 weeks is the recommendation, but a lot of people ignore it. I shit you not, I know a woman who got pregnant the WEEK AFTER she gave birth. She was due with her second one 9 months after her first. ::blink blink:: My husband and I were super horny after I had the baby, but we abstained until we were given the clearance. Plus, lochia is pretty gross.

      • Andrea

        Are you even ovulating a WEEK after giving birth??? It doesn’t seem possible..but I guess it must be. Yikes.

      • meteor_echo

        Nightmare fuel. Omg.
        Seems like some people’s bodies are hell-bent on procreating… and then procreating some more, and then some more. Yeesh.

    • TngldBlue

      4 weeks. And then my husband ratted me out to my doctor-after I swore to her we hadn’t had sex yet.

    • alice

      I am afraid about that. And more that my vagina is going to be irreparably stretched out, and sex will become a loose, anticlimactic, mess.

      My handjobs aren’t good enough to sustain a lifetime of friction-filled happiness. :(

      • Andrea

        Vaginas are amazingly elastic. You will be fine. Your man will be fine.

      • alice

        that’s what my friend’s have all said. i still can’t believe it.

        :suspicious face:

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        Um, I have had 3 kids. It’s not an issue, at all. I promise. at all.

      • Andrea

        Well you can always go for the “extra stitch”. LOL

        Nah, I’m kidding and trust us, it is not an issue.

      • Elisianna

        My mother was kind enough to tell me that she is tighter after birthing six children and sometimes she squeezes my dad so tight it is like her vagina is going to “bite” off his penis.

        This graphic description is helping with my decision to try a vaginal birth next time (first was emergency c section), because I also have an irrational fear of the possible future state of my lady bits…

      • Ptownsteveschick

        Kegels, and it will snap back. I had tears that are now scars(EW) but it hasn’t changed much in tightness.

      • Cee

        It snaps…back? I am learning very interesting things about having a child!

      • Ptownsteveschick

        Lol, I meant back to how it was before.

      • Tinyfaeri

        Kegels are good things. If you ever get pregnant and have a child, do the kegels.

      • LJ

        http://www.realitystarbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/NeNe-Leakes-Finger-Snap-Gif.gif

        It does. Kegels will turn your vagina into Nene Leakes. Amen.

      • Véronique Houde

        you won’t stretch out – I’m serious. And you can always strengthen your muscles with keggles.

      • ElleJai

        Apparently I’m actually tighter post birth. So urban myths aren’t always true!

    • keelhaulrose

      We made it to the day before my six-week checkup. I’m pretty sure my doctor knew, I got the Judgey McJudgerson face from her during the exam.

    • Jessica

      We are 10 months after the third baby, and I am still breastfeeding… so I am ok with p in the v as long as he avoids the Bs, and the baby is embracing the zzzs.

      Tonight we are renting Grown Ups 2, and I offered to wear pants that don’t have “sweat” or “yoga” in the title. He is bringing home Pad Thai in the Volkswagen…. sparks are flying!

      (I usually wait 8 weeks. 6 seemed too short for me, but too long for other people I knew!)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        Not to ruin your sexy exciting evening, but i think that movie got the worst reviews of any movie ever made in the history of movie making ever

      • alice

        hahahaahah THIS.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        My new fave things are the rotten tomatoes reviews of this movie:

        No human being possesses the imaginative power to sufficiently lower his or her expectations to anticipate the sheer laziness of this putrid ensemble comedy.

      • Jessica

        So, Turbo it is then?

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I have NOT seen Turbo yet! I wanna. The way way back was super cute, the heat was awesome IDK what else is out :(

      • Peggy

        Is Turbo toddler approved? Always looking for fun family night movies….especially any involving Ryan Reynolds.

      • Jessica

        omg, we watched Hangover III…. what has been seen cannot be unseen.

      • Jessica

        Wait, this one ties into your earlier article- “Clearly this is the film to see if you have a long standing grievance about the way deer have been mistreated by humans and long to see them take their revenge.”

      • alice

        ahahahahhehehehehe love this.

      • Rachel Sea

        Have you seen revieews for “The Room”?

        “A bona fide classic of midnight cinema, Tommy Wiseau’s misguided masterpiece subverts the rules of filmmaking with a boundless enthusiasm that renders such mundanities as acting, screenwriting, and cinematography utterly irrelevant.”

      • melody

        OH HI MARK!!!

      • CMJ
      • melody

        My husband knows him, and he’s like that in real life! It’s surreal.

      • DatNanny

        I’ve met him at screenings. He’s glorious.

      • Andrea

        I really don’t think that evening is about the “movie”…if you know what I mean….

      • Jessica

        I do really like Thai food! ;-)

      • Jessica

        Better or worse than Little Nicky, because he made me watch that crap-fest too! He will watch Adam Sandler in anything. It’s an illness.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        and you let him stick his P in your V??????????

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        Re: too long for some….my oldest and second oldest sisters are 10 frickin’ months apart.

        Yes friends, you CAN definitely get pregnant when your breastfeeding, just ask my (freakishly fertile) mom!

      • Jessica

        We have all over our bases covered here (some literally!) because I have had more than one friend have this happen. I can’t even imagine!!!

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        My mom said she felt like she was pregnant for over 2 years, basically.

      • Blooming_Babies

        This may be the best comment thread in history, just for the record.

    • candyvines

      I’m going to refinish a bureau and babysit for a friend this weekend! My husband and I don’t have kids but we’re trying to conceive. He’ll be away this weekend, so thankfully I won’t have to have sex. No one ever tells you how un-fun trying to make baby sex is. I miss carefree for no reason sex.

      • JLH1986

        Word. I never ever ever ever thought sex with my hubby would be a chore. Ever. We agreed just this weekend that we were going to stop actively trying and just let it happen for this reason. I don’t know if this will work, but at least it won’t end in us hating sex!

      • candyvines

        Not only do I feel extra anxious every time about conceiving, but it’s just not sexy sex. It has to be at this time, on these days. Where’s my towel? Oh, I need my phone too because I have to lie here for 20 minutes. Chore is right! Hope you had a fun weekend – I think I might use your idea this month :)

      • JLH1986

        Right? We are both staring at the clock waiting because what if we start too early? Or too late? AHH. So for a little while we’re just going to ease up. Oddly enough once we made that decision I wanted to jump his bones. The first time in…months that it didn’t feel like it was doing laundry! Good luck in your journey! :)

      • candyvines

        That reminds me – I totally need to do laundry. Good luck to you too!

    • cesp

      3 and a half weeks. My Dr. told me that the only reason she lays down the six week rule is to give an out for women who’s husbands want it right away. Otherwise she told me to wait a week or two to avoid infection and take it from there as I was comfortable. The last few months of my pregnancy you couldn’t have bribed me with chocolate to have sex so as soon as the mood struck me post baby I was all over it.

    • momjones

      My babies are 33, 32 and 28. I have vague recollections of when the “P went into the V” after the birth of each, but I’m sure it happened. I’d rather talk about CMJ’s Christmas tree instead because I know, (in light of PolyMom’s Kids and Sex Life article), CMJ is going to find a big time UGH OY AARGH YUCK!! gif because I said “P in the V.”

    • pixie

      I get to go home and see my parents/boyfriend this weekend (yay). But also have school work I want to finish (boo).
      And I’m pretty sure if I have a baby with my boyfriend, the question of how long to wait will be the first thing he asks. I might buy him porn to keep him “satisfied”.

    • Sam Inoue

      My weekend is awesome, my teen is out of town on a class trip, my daughter is at a sleep over so my SIL and BIL volunteered to take the baby for the night ( a little scary since he’s only 5 months) so we are having a date night! We waited 4 weeks ( i wrote months before and that would have been unbearable!) after the baby was born, but that was me after a totally complication free birth. I’m mostly excited to walk to the bar near our house and pretend to be regular 20 something year old.

    • LJ

      I do love the tree….but not for 300 dollars. Maybe we could DIY one? And then posted it to Pinterest “nailed it” fails!
      http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/pinterest-fails-nailed-it-17.jpg

      • alice

        I love you

      • LJ
      • meteor_echo

        I love the little red eyes on the first one. It’s like it’d be a hedgehog zombie from some oddball movie, undetectable until it sneaks upon the protagonist’s girlfriend and bites her in the leg. This is how shit would go down very, very fast.

      • LJ

        If “Sharknado” can be a movie….Zombie Hedgehogs can too. Let’s do this. I’ll draft a convincing letter to Syfy, you start rounding up hedgehogs.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I’m securing craft services

      • LJ

        We need to find someone to be in charge of snacks…I need snacks for my creativity. Preferably snacks with bacon.

    • Rachel Sea

      I’m prepping the reopening of my seasonal absinthe bar: finishing educational materials, organizing a field trip to a distillery for the staff, scheduling training, shopping…and hopefully cleaning my house before it is descended upon by out-of-town guests.

    • Amanda

      Ok, after I had my first, my hormones freaked the freak out, and… I was horny. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. All I know is after one midnight feeding 3 weeks postpartum I practically ripped my husband’s clothes off. The problem is that when it actually came to the P entering the V… well, it was a no go. It was totally bizarre to be both horny and completely unable to let anything happen (no such thing as TMI in this post, RIGHT?). So we finished using other methods.

      That was not how I felt after I had my second. That time, I flinched for 6 months after the baby whenever he touched me. Poor dude. That baby is now a year old and with a three year old on top of that the only time sex is happening is if it happens before 9:30pm, because I literally can not stay awake later than that. And that, my internet friends, is my sex life. You’re welcome.

      • Andrea

        You are not alone in this!

      • Harriet Meadow

        Same here (as what happened with your first one)! We were sooooo super horny, but my body was just not cooperating!

    • Andrea

      Eve: as of this writing, there are 70+ comments. So no more talk about sex topics being duds in the mommyish world.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      With my first, I was ready to go at 3 weeks post partum, but 1) my ex was soooo not willing and 2) (TMI) I went from post partum bleeding to a super duper heavy period immediately after, so…yeah. With my second, we could barely wait for 3 weeks, we were doing a crap ton of other stuff from week 1 until I felt healed enough to go to town.

    • G.E. Phillips

      I would have been willing to wait 6-8 weeks as is the norm, but my ex was so paranoid that we’d get pregnant again right away that HE wouldn’t. So we didn’t. And then we broke up. So my answer is….23 months. I waited 23 months after I had my son for a P in the V. Long months, my friends. Long months…

      PS: The chances of me asking my man friend if he would like to put a P in the V tonight are high, although I’m sure it won’t happen after that because we will be too busy giggling like 3rd graders for the rest of the evening.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      I waited till eight weeks, but quickly developed an inability to have sex postpartum. It started with pain and progressed until no entry was possible. The muscles were clamped shut like Ann Coulter’s heart.
      I believe it was vaginismus and I had to treat it at home. I won’t get into the specifics, but the important thing is I can have sex again.

      • Harriet Meadow

        Yikes! That sucks. For whatever reason (breastfeeding, probably), it was like four months after I had my son until I was able to get even remotely wet (even though I was mentally SOOOOOOO horny). Lube became our best friend, but before we figured out that we needed it it hurt. Like hell.

    • Tea

      “P in the V sex”

      Welp, I’m out.

      And I want a tree this year, spouse-guy says maybe. I will decorate it with antique Russian paper ornaments and hand painted balls, all painted by me. It will have no tackiness, it will be color coordinated, it will be perfect. Letting an artist decorate is a double-edged sword, because No you can’t have kitten ornaments on my perfect, classy, tree. No kittens, no tie fighters, no creepy little cherubs…. Maybe tie fighters, they can go in the back. Bad ornaments go in the back.

      If you can’t tell by this stream of consciousness tirade, I have mulled wine and it is awesome, and maybe about 25% port.

      • Tinyfaeri

        Have 2 trees at opposite ends of the house? Then one can be magazine-worthy and one can have kittens and creepy cherubs!

    • Peggy

      I honestly don’t remember how long it took to resume p in the v after the boys were born. Sadly, lots of those details have faded. I’m *really* hoping for some sexy time here tonight though-S and I have been in the midst of a huge (read: massive, weeks long, sob inducing) fight over lots of (big and fairly substantial) things. Finally, I *think* we’ve resolved our differences. Nothing mends fences like a little p in the v, right?!?

      Family movie night here otherwise….pizza and toy story 3. Like I haven’t cried enough this week.

      Like the Ombre tree, but definitely not for us. I’m a purist when it comes to Christmas decorations-holly, plaid, candles, etc.

      • Andrea

        P in the V can definitely clear the air. I hope you had a nice evening either way! Marriage is hard, and rocky patches suck. Good vibes your way!

    • FF4life

      I want that Christmas tree.

      And I was pestered into having sex just three weeks after my csection. I don’t recommend it. It was terrible.

    • ElleJai

      I made it to two weeks. We used a towel and a condom, I’d had an “easy” birth with nothing more than scratches and the worst (heaviest) of the lochia was over. We took it very, very slowly, but it turned out OK. My doctor didn’t bother banning me, just said when I was ready I’d know.

      I also had my mum in the house, coz I swear every time we tried our baby cried. In the end I tried something I’d read about in a book called “Sex Diaries” where I just held the baby during sex since he was too little to know what we were doing… Not for the faint hearted or anyone who thinks their kids are traumatisable with sex. (He’s now 16 months and he hasn’t been near sex since under 4 months, I’m not a pervert, promise).

    • Amber Starr

      I seriously love each and every one of you………… This thread has made my night.

    • DatNanny

      I just read the comments, then told my partner I may never give birth.

    • Simone

      Crappy post-baby-sex jokes?
      1. Now it’s HIS turn to sit on the edge of the bed and cry because it’s too big.
      2. Much like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

      Sorry about those.

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