I read a blog post today about hospital postpartum visits and whether or not they are an intrusion. Personally, I hated them.
I wonder if it’s because I ended up with c-sections both times. The first time – I was so taken aback by the whole emergency c-section situation that I felt like I was in a daze. I wasn’t expecting to be in a hospital. I wasn’t expecting to be recovering from major surgery. I wasn’t expecting every step I took to be excruciatingly painful. I had no interest in visitors, besides my mom and my husband.
I remember getting messages from friends saying things like, “When can we visit?” All I could think was, “Are you serious?” I could barely walk. I hadn’t showered in days. There was blood dripping down my legs every time I got up. Visitors? No thanks. I mean, what if they had to use the bathroom? It was like a horror show in there. There was no way I wanted any of my friends around me at that time.
The second birth was not as traumatic. It was a c-section again, but I knew it was coming so I was more prepared. My husband spent most of the day in the hospital with me and my family dropped in periodically. I had already moved to a place where I didn’t have any friends, so the whole “dropping by” thing wasn’t really an option. You know what? I was glad about that. There is just so much going on after you have a baby. Nurses are in and out constantly pestering you about breastfeeding. You have to remember when you last took your meds. Oh- and there is a brand new human for you to pay attention to. Maybe I’m just not a great multi-tasker. I can only entertain so many people at once.
I’m sure it changes from person to person, so I’m not telling you to NOT visit your friends who have had babies, I’m just reminding you that you should definitely clarify that it’s something they want – and not just before the baby is born. Always make sure that it’s cool if you pop in before you show up. I think the movies have led us all to believe that woman has baby, sleeps a little and presto! Everything is back to normal. Maybe this is true for some people – but not everyone.
(photo: Getty Images)