• Wed, Nov 6 - 4:27 pm ET

‘ABCDEFG’ Is Your Jam Of The Day If You Love Really Bad Music And Puppets And Rebecca Black’s Friday Song

Screen Shot 2013-11-06 at 4.18.53 PMI know you all have been staring woefully at your computer screen or your iPod playlist and wishing you could find a jam that would speak to you the way that Rebecca Black‘s Friday did or the amazing song about Thanksgiving did:

Well, your wait is over because the fine folks who brought us these jams sung by pre-teens have also bought us this amazing video for the song ABCDEFG sung by chanteuse Alison Gold:

Don’t be troubled by hit-maker Patrice Wilson peering through the bedroom window like some sort of Mr. Rodger‘s peeping Tom, don’t be concerned when he pulls up in a black kidnap van, or when he drugs the punch so all the people at the party turn into puppets. And when he drugs the punch again and Gold’s date turns into a plate of food and she eats him. It’s cool. We are just too old to understand any of this.

I’m not sure if this song is as horrifically catchy or as amusing as Friday, but I am pretty sure the video is way way creepier.
Also, our friends at Entertainment Weekly have transcribed the lyrics for you. Enjoy.

This feeling is like ABCDEFG
HIJKLMNOP
You got me thinking I will be on a one-way spree
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
If you just see
ABCDEFG
HIJKLMNOP

I’m gonna go stick sharp objects in my ear holes now.

(Image: You Tube)

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  • My house smells like poop now

    This song gave my cat diarrhea.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Just take your chinese food potion pour it on her and eat her

    • My house smells better now

      I won’t do that for the same reason I won’t eat tilapia; nothing that full of crap can possibly be healthy for human consumption. I’ll stick to my Count Chocula and ginger beer. Like an adult.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Oh man count chococula is the best

  • Jenni

    To where do I sent a thank you card to EW for transcribing the lyrics?

    • RK

      If you want to send it directly to the guy who was tasked with transcribing them, he can be found at the address below.

      Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum
      C/O: Newest Resident

      71 Asylum Drive
      Weston, WV 26452

      Hope this helps.

  • no words

    I
    What
    The fuck.

  • Haradanohime

    Oh look another tween singing that may or may not have a good singing voice but we can’t tell because the entire thing is auto tuned again. And Gee…wanna be plugging himself into their music videos. Creepy….

  • Chrissy

    Are we going to ignore how she just gets in the B-Movie version of the Mystery Machine because there’s a shiny piece of paper that tells her to? Yay taking the creepy up an EXTRA notch! Huzzah! This is…possibly their most bizarre “make a teenage the laughing stock of the internet” scheme yet!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      There are so many things hilariously wrong with that video

    • Chrissy

      I work with kids and some are just learning the alphabet. Which today made me sing this song in my head. Which made me think of this video. Which gave me a giggle fit in a client’s home. THANKS, EVE!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      EXCELLENT!

    • scooby23

      Yeah, isn’t that exactly what we tell kids NOT to do when they a piece of paper near a creepy black van?

  • Kate

    I kind of hate myself for watching the whole thing. What’s wrong with me?

  • scooby23

    What’s with this creep making crappy tween music videos that feature him in some suit that looks like it was intended for either a furry living in his/her mother’s basement or for torturing little children by forcing them to take a picture at the mall with you?