Sorry all of you childless by choice people and all of you people who haven’t had children yet, but you may want to borrow a baby to lug to your Thanksgiving celebration, especially if it involves going to a gathering of relatives you can’t stand. I love the holidays, but even as someone who loves the holidays I can admit there are always people around who drive me bonkers. Babies are pretty much the best built-in excuse you can possibly imagine, in almost any circumstance. This is why.
Drunk Uncle Gets Drunk And Starts Ranting About Politics?
Baby needs a diaper change.
Distant Cousin Starts Telling You How Her Baby Was Crawling At Four Months?
Baby needs a nap.
Weird Aunt Asks Why You Are Still Breastfeeding?
Actually, you should go find someplace quiet to feed the baby now.
Sister-In-Law Suggests You Are Spoiling The Baby By Holding It Too Much?
Oops, you promised your dad you would let him hold the baby.
Great Aunt Asks Why You Haven’t Had Another One Yet?
Uh-oh, there’s that diaper again.
Brother Suggests You Need To ‘Toughen’ The Baby Up?
Uh oh, baby must be hungry again.
Someone Tries To Offer You Weird Food That You Have No Interest In Trying?
Oh, now it’s your mom’s turn to hold the baby better go find her!
Grandparents Exclaim The Baby Is Too Cold?
You better go find that sweater. That is in your diaper bag. That is in another room. Away from everyone. And very hard to find.
Someone Suggests You Help Clean Up While The Men Watch Football?
Oops, another diaper!
Young Relatives Want You To Play Beer Pong In The Basement?
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(All images: getty)