Diva’s 5k Race: Women Run For Botox, Laser Hair Removal And Teeth Whitening

401824_10151600161648394_931499479_n__1383490424_142.196.156.251The ING New York City Marathon is happening today, but who cares about that when you can watch a group of women run for prizes like Botox, laser hair removal and teeth whitening? It’s a good thing I have children to care for, because this is the kind of news that makes me want to just call it a day and crawl back into bed. It’s 8 a.m.

The Divas Half Marathon® & 5K Series is the most fun and glam women’s running series in the nation. Check out why…

Every female 1st place winner will receive Dysport/Botox treatment for one area

Every female 2nd place winner will receive laser hair removal for one area (up to six sessions)ƒ

Every female 3rd place winner will receive laser teeth whitening treatment

There are some rules. You have to be eight years old to enter. The youngest age group, 14 and under, isn’t eligible for cosmetic procedures, but the 15 to 19 age group is eligible for laser hair removal and teeth whitening.

The Diva race has a 5k, which is happening today, and a half marathon. Their half marathon is the largest women’s half-marathon series in the U.S. They give out pink boas and tiaras, everyone gets a medal that says “Diva” on it with a picture of a tiara and a little pink jewel, and racers get roses and champagne at the finish line. That makes sense; women don’t need water after a race, champagne is much better for hydration. And pink tiaras and boas motivate all athletes, in case you didn’t know. Botox, laser hair removal and teeth whitening are just the icing on the cake of this stereotypical shit-show of an athletic event. The organizer, Robert Pozo, talked to New Times Miami about the prizes:

“While we think the prizes are fun and all that,” event organizer Robert Pozo tells us, “we don’t want to pass on the sense that Botox is what 15-year-old girls should be getting.” He confirms that Divas 5k is “fine with” these same girls going into clinics for teeth whitening and hair removal. In fact, the prizes “are not transferable, so these girls can’t just give them to mom.”

NO! Botox isn’t what 15-year-old girls should be getting. Everyone knows your face doesn’t become a disgusting wrinkled prune until the ripe old age of twenty. Coincidentally this is also the time when most women tire of facial expression, anyway.

(photo: Facebook)

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    • Aimee Beff

      “Congratulations on being a top-class athlete! Isn’t it great to know that, even being in peak physical condition, your body is still too disgusting to look at? Now go take care of that unsightly bikini line, please.”

      • The Key

        I bet if you stopped running naked, people would stop judging your pubes.

      • The Key

        I bet if you stopped running naked, people would stop judging your pubes.

      • Aimee Beff

        But then I couldn’t feel the refreshing breeze wafting through my ladygarden and underarm shag!

      • Aimee Beff

        But then I couldn’t feel the refreshing breeze wafting through my ladygarden and underarm shag!

    • kay

      There’s a race here where winning gets you your weight in beer. I’ve been trying for years to figure out how to simultaneously get really really fast and gain a lot of weight.

      I’ve seen this race before, and it seems like another dumb “this is an excuse for cool Facebook photos” style race. There’s a tiara station on the course. Like, during the race.

    • kay

      There’s a race here where winning gets you your weight in beer. I’ve been trying for years to figure out how to simultaneously get really really fast and gain a lot of weight.

      I’ve seen this race before, and it seems like another dumb “this is an excuse for cool Facebook photos” style race. There’s a tiara station on the course. Like, during the race.

      • Peggy

        “it seems like another dumb “this is an excuse for cool Facebook photos” style race.”

        This.

      • libraryofbird

        Where is here because I think colorado needs a race for beer.

      • kay

        Portland. But Colorado must have one! They share Oregon’s love of being outdoorsy alcoholics

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        I’m honestly surprised we don’t already have one. New Belgium Brewery does sponsor the Loveland Ski Area Scavenger Hunt, though, and everyone above 21 is a winner in terms of getting a free beer!

      • libraryofbird

        Scavenger hunt? Thank you! I needed to know about this. I know there is a scavenger hunt in downtown Denver but I hadn’t heard about the Loveland one.

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        Bonus points if you manage to work a costume in over all your ski gear! And I didn’t know about the one downtown, in spite of living really close…man, I need to get out more when I’m not in the mountains!

    • Monica

      I did the Diva Half Marathon in Myrtle Beach last year and it was a blast! Pink/Diva/Princess stuff isn’t for everyone but I thought it had a really fun and supportive environment. If this isn’t your race then don’t run it, but some of us love it! Running 13.1 miles is really tough and I loved looking forward to getting my tiara – it helped keep me going. If you like doing the Disney Princess or Tinkerbell races then this is your type of race

    • Monica

      I did the Diva Half Marathon in Myrtle Beach last year and it was a blast! Pink/Diva/Princess stuff isn’t for everyone but I thought it had a really fun and supportive environment. If this isn’t your race then don’t run it, but some of us love it! Running 13.1 miles is really tough and I loved looking forward to getting my tiara – it helped keep me going. If you like doing the Disney Princess or Tinkerbell races then this is your type of race

      • Peggy

        I disagree. I will be doing PHM for the third time this february (am actually doing the glass slipper challenge, which includes the 10k the day before). While the general theme of the race is princess, tiara, pink, etc. it really focuses on being a powerful female athlete, not on being a pretty girl. The winners are rewarded with a real glass slipper; not a toxin injected into their body. TETO, but the message I get from a race like this is along the lines of congrats on busting your ass to train for this race; now let’s make you pretty.

      • TacOcaT

        Good for you! There is nothing wrong with being a girly-girl (or a ‘pretty girl’), and if that’s all it takes to motivate you to partake in a super healthy activity, then I don’t see how that could be remotely negative. I don’t know you, but I think you’re amazing. Ignore the nay-sayers, haters gunna’ hate.

      • TacOcaT

        Good for you! There is nothing wrong with being a girly-girl (or a ‘pretty girl’), and if that’s all it takes to motivate you to partake in a super healthy activity, then I don’t see how that could be remotely negative. I don’t know you, but I think you’re amazing. Ignore the nay-sayers, haters gunna’ hate.

    • Not everything is bad

      Nobody is being forced to do it, which means the people running probably legitimately want these prizes. Some people run for money, some run for beer, who’s to judge those who want to run for less hair or whiter teeth? If I could run more than a couple miles without puking, I’d be all for getting my coffee-stained teeth a shade lighter than ‘fresh snow in the morning sun.’

    • Not everything is bad

      Nobody is being forced to do it, which means the people running probably legitimately want these prizes. Some people run for money, some run for beer, who’s to judge those who want to run for less hair or whiter teeth? If I could run more than a couple miles without puking, I’d be all for getting my coffee-stained teeth a shade lighter than ‘fresh snow in the morning sun.’

      • NicknamesAreDull

        This! I got breast implants and laser hair removal. They were both things that I wanted, and if there was a way to win them, I would have been on board. I’m assuming the participants (aside from children) either like to run, or want the procedures done. I love to run, and try to run at least one half a year, and a 5/10k every few months. I’ve done races where you get chili and beer at the end, even though I hate beer, I’ve done disco runs, costume runs and many others. In my area, there is almost always a race going on, so if I’m not a fan of one, I can and do pass on it.

      • NicknamesAreDull

        This! I got breast implants and laser hair removal. They were both things that I wanted, and if there was a way to win them, I would have been on board. I’m assuming the participants (aside from children) either like to run, or want the procedures done. I love to run, and try to run at least one half a year, and a 5/10k every few months. I’ve done races where you get chili and beer at the end, even though I hate beer, I’ve done disco runs, costume runs and many others. In my area, there is almost always a race going on, so if I’m not a fan of one, I can and do pass on it.

    • libraryofbird

      I’d run for laser hair removal. I do runs for fun/tshirts/hoodies/hot chocolate so why not hair removal? That shit is expensive.

      • meteor_echo

        Same. Though it’d be a tie between hair removal and teeth whitening. I’d love either.

    • Elizabeth

      Eh, I’m not too bothered. I don’t necessarily think that the message is “You don’t look good enough!” I wouldn’t do the Botox, but I would be pumped if I got free teeth whitening (whitestrips are expensive!) or laser hair removal (waxing is not the most fun thing ever!). I’ve been handed beer and Viking helmets at the end of a race. This just seems like another way to make a 5K more fun!

    • Blueathena623

      I wonder how hard I would have to train to have a shot at the hair removal. I would love that.

    • A-nony-mous

      I’m always a bit bothered whenever I feel like women and athletics are not being taken seriously. It’s something that women’s professional teams and organizations still struggle with. They get an iota of the funding, publicity or respect of the male teams. Even every day women struggle with far more insecurity in “being sporty” than men do. I know plenty of smart women who put on makeup to go work out at the gym or won’t work out so hard they sweat because sweating is bad and embarrassing (thus the entire workout is rather pointless if you’re not working out hard enough to even break a sweat). And young girls that will take a failing grade or just barely put in effort to pass in PE/Gym class because they’re too insecure to play sports around other girls or worse..around the boys. And a lot of those notions comes from the constant pairing of women’s athletics to beauty, vanity, titillating sexuality (“The Lingerie Bowl”) and anything else that kind of…demeans it and trivializes the athletic portion as down to something that women are ONLY doing because they can laser their lady parts at the end or to attract men. How seriously would people take the NY Jets if they competed for things like penile enlargement pills, chest waxing, etc? Not very.

      I just wish the prizes would be more proud of the athletics portion. Swim lessons, martial arts lessons, a rec center drop-in punch pass, free hiking shoes for the whole family, a family pass to go camping. There are HUNDREDS of prizes that are more in tune to a sporting event, yannow?

      I feel like until women can be sporty without it constantly being “sporty while looking good” or “sporty while smelling good” and “sporty while competing for your chance to win a $500 Revlon lipstick set” then we’re constantly going to be a joke and that means that most women will be too put off and intimidated and embarrassed to be healthy and athletic.

    • A-nony-mous

      I’m always a bit bothered whenever I feel like women and athletics are not being taken seriously. It’s something that women’s professional teams and organizations still struggle with. They get an iota of the funding, publicity or respect of the male teams. Even every day women struggle with far more insecurity in “being sporty” than men do. I know plenty of smart women who put on makeup to go work out at the gym or won’t work out so hard they sweat because sweating is bad and embarrassing (thus the entire workout is rather pointless if you’re not working out hard enough to even break a sweat). And young girls that will take a failing grade or just barely put in effort to pass in PE/Gym class because they’re too insecure to play sports around other girls or worse..around the boys. And a lot of those notions comes from the constant pairing of women’s athletics to beauty, vanity, titillating sexuality (“The Lingerie Bowl”) and anything else that kind of…demeans it and trivializes the athletic portion as down to something that women are ONLY doing because they can laser their lady parts at the end or to attract men. How seriously would people take the NY Jets if they competed for things like penile enlargement pills, chest waxing, etc? Not very.

      I just wish the prizes would be more proud of the athletics portion. Swim lessons, martial arts lessons, a rec center drop-in punch pass, free hiking shoes for the whole family, a family pass to go camping. There are HUNDREDS of prizes that are more in tune to a sporting event, yannow?

      I feel like until women can be sporty without it constantly being “sporty while looking good” or “sporty while smelling good” and “sporty while competing for your chance to win a $500 Revlon lipstick set” then we’re constantly going to be a joke and that means that most women will be too put off and intimidated and embarrassed to be healthy and athletic.

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        People take the Jets seriously?

        In all sincerity, though, I can only make a snide crack because I thought everything you said as I read the article, only I thought it far less articulately than you did (unless you’re counting inventive curses and, “God, why aren’t the liquor stores open this late on a Sunday?” as articulate). And as someone who earns money in a male-dominated sport (I’m a ski instructor), I keep having to wonder why the gender imbalance of both professionals and guests is as bad as it is. I think you’ve hit on one of the key issues. Hell, if any of the prizes you suggested were up for grabs at a marathon near me, I’d be out training as we speak, and I can walk faster than I can run!

      • NotTakenNotAvailable

        People take the Jets seriously?

        In all sincerity, though, I can only make a snide crack because I thought everything you said as I read the article, only I thought it far less articulately than you did (unless you’re counting inventive curses and, “God, why aren’t the liquor stores open this late on a Sunday?” as articulate). And as someone who earns money in a male-dominated sport (I’m a ski instructor), I keep having to wonder why the gender imbalance of both professionals and guests is as bad as it is. I think you’ve hit on one of the key issues. Hell, if any of the prizes you suggested were up for grabs at a marathon near me, I’d be out training as we speak, and I can walk faster than I can run!

    • Lala

      To each his own. No one making you run this race if you don’t want to. There are plenty of races out there nowadays that offer crazy prizes. You know what you don’t really see though are a lot of male only races. Maybe that’s an article worth writing about!

    • Simone

      Isn’t the natural female body disgusting??? My god, shave it, rip it out, cut and slice it into shape like bleeding Plasticine. Inject shit into it to plump up the sags and paint the bits that are pale. How hideous is the unadorned Woman! Had I the word written, I would tear it.

    • K.

      “While we think the prizes are fun and all that,” event organizer Robert Pozo tells us, “we don’t want to pass on the sense that Botox is what 15-year-old girls should be getting.”

      …Yeah. Of course, that’s exactly what you ARE passing on.