Halloween week is upon us – time for all things creepy! Why stick to the usual skeleton/spiderweb/pumpkin motif when you can litter your yard with some of these horrific toys and scare the crap out of every kid in your neighborhood? Well, maybe these won’t scare kids, but I bet your adult neighbors will be terrified.
1. Vintage Down-On-His-Luck Jack-In-The-BoxÂ
Â Is it just me, or does this little guy look like an angry drunk that’s about to follow me to my car?
2. Baby Light Weirdness
Who needs a jack-o-lantern when you can put this horror show in your yard?
3. Monkey With A Staring Problem Playing The Cymbals
The only thing I like about this monkey is his cowl neck sleeveless sweater.
4. Nightmare In A Jar
You are a serial killer of joy. This one will probably make kids cry.
5. My Little Pony? Is That You?
This can never be unseen.
6. Horror Tree
This is waaaay worse than a witch or severed limbs.
7. Teddy Ruxpin, As-Is
The most terrifying bear of all time.
8. My Buddy, As Is
The second most terrifying doll of all time, as is, but if you really want to scar the neighbors try taking a black marker to his eyes and coloring the whole eyeball in.
9. Vintage Doll Heads
Help us! Help us! Help us!Â NOOOOOOOO.
10. Horse Head Masks
Who hurt you? What have you seen, Mr. Horse? This one has a dual function; you can creep up your yard or wear it and scare the shit out of trick-or-treaters.