• Thu, Oct 24 - 4:00 pm ET

I Come From A Long Line Of Witches And Even I Don’t Know If These Fertility Spells Can Get You Pregnant

originalI always feel for women having difficulty conceiving. It can be a frustrating, heartbreaking, complicated process and I understand people will sometimes go to desperate measures in order to conceive. We talk about infertility and trying to conceive a lot here on Mommyish, so I’m not going to expound on that. It’s a serious topic that deserves respect and a degree of seriousness that I won’t get into here, because this topic is all about witchery and all these amazing ways I found on the Internet that say they can help you get pregnant.

All the witches in the house raise your hand!

Come on now, I know we have some pagan readers and I come from a long line of witches. Actually, I think the term they used in the old country was herbalists, but my grandmama could read the hell out of some tea leaves and tell your fortune by boiling some lead and had all sorts of homeopathic remedies for everything. I don’t think she would have minded being called a witch, but I know some people take offense at that term and consider it a form of slander. I wish I was a witch, which is weird for me, because I don’t even read my horoscope, but I do think some aspects of witchery are very cool, and make sense. I’m a rational person, but I do think that a lot of aspects of the whole thing appeal to me, especially because I’m a feminist.

But what I can’t get behind is some of these weird witchery items being hocked to women desperate to conceive. I suppose if you take it all with a grain of salt and are just doing it for the hell of it, it is fine, but some of these things cost big bucks and that offends me, the idea of preying off people who want to birth a baby more than anything. Some of these items will return your money if they don’t work, which is good. During my investigations I found a lot of positive feedback to some of these items and spells too. And a lot of women, especially on UK message boards, claim some of these totally work.

Screen Shot 2013-10-24 at 9.02.58 AM

If someone can cure AIDS and enlarge your penis, give you a VISA and get you pregnant, I have a really hard time believing it.

Customized fertility spells, seriously. 

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Just pay Miss Mia the money and voila.

Ancient Angelic Magic Fertility and Healthy Pregnancy

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From Etsy, a bargain at one hundred dollars.

Fertility JuJu Doll Baby 

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This little doll is cute, but no guarantees it will actually get you pregnant.

 Raccoon Penis Bone 

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This listing from Artisan Alchemy says fertility in the title , but also has the legend of a man wanting to win a woman’s heart by giving her a penis bone to wear around her neck. It should be noted that I have sadly never received a penis bone.

From Extreme Spells:

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Which you can purchase here.

Anyone ever conceive with the help of witchery? Do you believe in all of this fully or are you more of a skeptic like I am? Also, do you want to join my coven? I plan on serving cupcakes.

This article idea comes from lovely Mommyish reader 88Mwife who spent a great deal of time yesterday showering me with links to witchery fertility stuff! Thank you 88Mwife!

(Image: tumblr)

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  • pixie

    I love how the first lady who claims the spell canister also cures AIDS, enlarges your breasts or penis, etc, etc, mentions she went to her gyro (instead of gyno). I know it’s a typo (unless I’m missing something and way out of the loop), but it makes me want Greek food now.
    I also wonder how often that other place lets people get away with the no charge thing.

    • Rachel Sea

      Maybe that was her problem. She was consulting a delicious sandwich instead of a doctor for her infertility.

      It does make some degree of sense, I sometimes consult Ben & Jerry’s for depression.

    • pixie

      That was what I was thinking! Though delicious sammiches can often be wise.

    • pixie

      That was what I was thinking! Though delicious sammiches can often be wise.

    • pixie

      That was what I was thinking! Though delicious sammiches can often be wise.

  • DatNanny

    I’ll believe things to a degree. I see no harm in trying every possible alternative practice (as long as it’s safe) when trying to conceive. I know there are things women have found helpful that a doctor wouldn’t put any faith in. But when it gets to paying someone else money for a spell, well, no, not so much. Definitely not over the internet. My partner is pagan, doesn’t identify as a witch, but if we were in this situation, and he had a friend who offered to help us out or something, I’d embrace it in goodwill. When money comes in… it just really rankles me. I know struggling to conceive can make women feel desperate, this just seems like preying on trusting people when they’re vulnerable.

  • NicknamesAreDull

    I wish I knew about breast enlargement spells before I dropped 4K on my boobs :(

    ETA:

    I don’t trust things that have no measurable results. I don’t trust herbal medicines that haven’t been okay’d by my doctor, and I don’t trust readings. I’m perfectly fine with people doing the things, as long as they don’t cause harm to others.

    • Evelyn

      Yes, anything good enough and safe enough to pass rigorous, scientific testing would become mainstream medicine, like the active ingredient in willow bark becoming aspirin (along with other properly tested ingredients) or the penicilium fungi being used as a basis for antibiotics. I would rather put my faith in things that have been properly tested and are made by people who are legally accountable for the things they produce.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      I lived in New Orleans for a couple years, and the woman who lived next to me was very into that. I was having headaches and she prayed (?) over me, and told me to take a pill/drink tea.

      When I asked her what was in the tea, she explained it and I told her that I couldn’t drink it because I have an allergy to NSAIDS, and willow bark has salicin. She got really annoyed that I didn’t trust her or her remedy.

      It was a very weird experience.

    • Evelyn

      Yes, being natural doesn’t make it side effect free and the herbal remedies that work are the basis of some mainstream medicines. I can see that willow bark would be as dangerous as aspirin to you due to the salicin. Willow bark works because it is aspirin in a different form. St. John Wort is another good example. It works so it is approved by doctors but their proper testing shows it can have nasty side effects, especially when combined with the ingredients of some other herbal remedies, which is why it ought to be discussed with your doctor if you take it. Herbal does not mean harmless. Also a pharmaceutical company legally cannot hide an ingredient you might be allergic to in their medicines but a woman with a home made remedy can or might not understand the ingredients (like the lady who couldn’t understand that you would be allergic to willow bark if you can’t take NSAIDS).

  • Simone

    Mmm. I believe in magic that you do yourself, or in person with your group, but I would be pretty skeptical about purchasing the services of a practitioner over the internet! The odds of finding someone talented who really could help you must be microscopic.

    I especially wouldn’t go near anything of a Voudoun persuasion over the net. That is some strong stuff. Not for most white pipples.

  • Simone

    Mmm. I believe in magic that you do yourself, or in person with your group, but I would be pretty skeptical about purchasing the services of a practitioner over the internet! The odds of finding someone talented who really could help you must be microscopic.

    I especially wouldn’t go near anything of a Voudoun persuasion over the net. That is some strong stuff. Not for most white pipples.

  • Simone

    Mmm. I believe in magic that you do yourself, or in person with your group, but I would be pretty skeptical about purchasing the services of a practitioner over the internet! The odds of finding someone talented who really could help you must be microscopic.

    I especially wouldn’t go near anything of a Voudoun persuasion over the net. That is some strong stuff. Not for most white pipples.

  • Simone

    What film is the second gif from, with the wee witches walking? I love it, I want to see more of the wee witches.

    • BubbleyToes

      American Horror Story

    • Simone

      Ah. Thanks Bubbley. I’d love to get into that. If I had enough spare time to do anything other than run the universe.

  • DeanaCal

    I wanna be in the cupcake coven – after my delicious sandwich of course!

  • JLH1986

    I wonder if it’s any gyro or a specific gyro?

  • Jessie

    … Okay, I AM Pagan and I don’t even believe most of this horse-hockey. This all sounds like a bunch of hacks who read one of those trashy “magic spells for everyone” books you can buy in the New Age section of most bookstores and then decided they could make a profit off of emotionally vulnerable people.
    Of course I’ve always had a bit of a bee in my bonnet about people who sell spellcasting or otherwise make a sort of tourist show out of something I consider sacred, so maybe I’m a little biased.

    • ElleJai

      I’m right there with you. I’d rather craft my own spell, or have a close friend do so, rather than pay some hack online. If they were that good they wouldn’t need to charge, and people would simply give what they could, whether that’s a thank you or something more tangible.

      This is RELIGIOUS, not a business opportunity.

  • staferny

    Not sure about the fertility spells, but my mom was told twice that she was pregnant before she knew that she actually was by the crazy old lady that used to sit in my gramma’s restaurant all day reading tea leaves. She was especially surprised that the old lady was right the first time because she had an IUD, and the second time was on the pill.
    Unfortunately I always end up getting the psychics that give me generic information that can apply to anyone. I guess I should know better when their sign says “call for apt”, but if they were really good they would know I wanted and appointment and call me.

  • BubbleyToes

    First, I would like to join your coven please. Second, I don’t really know what I believe. I know that I have been not-trying-but-trying for 2 years and there were times when I was so depressed I would have paid someone to cast a spell on me fa sho. I have gotten one fertility reading with this truly awesome guy that was so spot on about me and my life that I kind of want to believe everything he said. I am an atheist but I have always been really interested in Wicca and would love to learn more. I don’t know if I believe that some people really have some sort of magical ability, but I do believe that some people are just more attuned to the universe and other people than others. I get my palm read every chance I get. (Every time, I am always told I will have a boy, and on at least 3 different occasions I was told I would either conceive or deliver in May-June- so I am always more hopeful around this time.) If it gives you hope, I say go for it! I wouldn’t pay money to an online etsy spell-dealer though.

  • 88Mwife

    Yay witches!! I love the idea of this, that someone is focusing entirely on you and sending good vibes toward your uterus, but I don’t think I like selling them. I would consider doing this (ttc is so stressful and depressing and feeling of failure inducing and I love the idea of someone saying a spell/prayer/kind words over me), but only if it was someone I knew. I just don’t think it would be as effective if I was just paying a stranger. Thanks for writing this up Eve! :)

  • Doreen Sophia

    Dit is een zeer vreugdevolle dag van mijn leven dankzij de hulp Doctor Zaza heeft door te helpen me mijn ex terug met zijn magische spreuk om me gemaakt. Ik was getrouwd voor 6 jaar en het was zo verschrikkelijk omdat mijn man was echt bedriegt mij en was op zoek naar een echtscheiding, maar toen kwam ik Doctor Zaza e-mail op het internet legde ik mijn situatie aan hem en dan zijn hulp te zoeken, maar naar mijn grootste verbazing vertelde hij me dat hij me zal helpen met mijn zaak en hier ben ik nu vieren omdat mijn man helemaal heeft voorgoed veranderen. Hij wil altijd bij me en kan niets doen zonder mijn huidige. Ik geniet echt van mijn huwelijk, wat een geweldig feest. Ik zal blijven getuigen op het internet, omdat Doctor Zaza is echt een echte spreukgebruiker. HEEFT U HULP NODIG DAN CONTACT ARTS ZAZA NU VIA E-MAIL: indiaspellcaster@hotmail.com

  • Vera Gillbert

    Deze korte GETUIGENIS KAN nuttig zijn om u of iemand die in je buurt. LEES

    Mijn naam Vera, ik wil d wereld te vertellen hoe DR OKOSU redde mijn

    huwelijk dat bijna instortte. Ik was zeven jaar getrouwd zonder

    een kind en je weet wat het betekent om te trouwen voor twee jaar zonder een

    kind, maar de mijne was elf jaar, dus je kunt de druk die je kunt voorstellen

    komen van je schoonouders op dat moment. Mijn schoonmoeder was het maken van mijn

    huwelijk hel voor mij, maar mijn man was erg begripvol omdat onze

    huisarts checkte ons en vertelde ons dat er niets mis is met de beide was

    van ons. Maar hoe lang kan een mens verder te begrijpen en te wachten op Gods

    tijd? Ik was erg ongerust totdat een vriend van mij kwam uit Italië en vertelde me

    over een van spreuken die een gebakken haar heeft ontmoet op het internet en dat was

    het einde van haar kinderloosheid. Maar ik heb nooit geloofd, omdat ik niet normaal

    geloven in al deze verhalen op spreukgebruikers niet te spreken van degenen die uit

    internet. Maar na veel overtuigen van mijn vriend heb ik besloten om contact op te nemen

    DR OKOSU op zijn gmail (drokosu01@gmail.com) en vertelde hem over mijn

    kinderloosheid. Alle deze grote man deed was mij enkele noodzakelijke vragen

    vragen en vertelde me een aantal noodzakelijke dingen die nodig is om mij te laten hebben

    kinderen in leven. Ik deed en volgde alle DR OKOSU geïnstrueerd mij en over

    2 weken laatste, ik zwanger was en ik werd geleverd van een jongetje. Ik weet wat het

    betekent
    kinderloos te zijn, dus ik ben met behulp van dit medium om mijn
    getuigenis te delen, zodat u ook contact met DR OKOSU vandaag naar
    oplossingen om een ​​van uw problemen, zoals:

    (1) je ex terug willen.

    (2) Je hebt altijd nachtmerries.

    (3) Om te worden bevorderd in uw kantoor

    (4) Wilt u een kind.

    (5) Wil je rijk worden.

    (6) wilt houden je man / vrouw om altijd alleen van jou zijn.

    (7) financiële steun nodig.

    8) Wil je de controle over je huwelijk

    9) Wil je aangetrokken voelen tot mensen

    10) Kinderloosheid

    11) NEED A man / vrouw

    12) Cure voor een ziekte.

    Neem contact op met DR OKOSU vandaag en u zult blij zijn u deed. E-mail: drokosu01@gmail.com

    Bedankt voor uw tijd …..

  • james

    I was married for 4years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about (pekokospelltemple@gmail.com) from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to (Dr.jaja for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is pekokospelltemple@gmail.com

  • Lidia Mckinney

    Are you having problem in getting pregnant or conceiving a baby contact Dr. Miracle who help me in getting pregnant after 12yrs of marriage with my husband and our babe is 2yrs old now since i contact this great spell caster who help me to solve my problem contact him on miracleofwonders@gmail.com or call him for urgent responds +2347060552255

  • James Mack

    My name is joy brown, am from maim USA. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr okunade who brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows anAd pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn’t worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that’s why i want to say a big thank you to Dr okunade. This great man made me to understand that theirs no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at:(okunadelovespell@gmail.com)

  • james

    I was married for 4years with out any child,because of this my husband
    start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending
    time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my
    doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make
    life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about
    (okutemple@hotmail.com) from the Internet,how he has helped people
    with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him
    and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days
    later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me
    he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i
    got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with
    ourselves. Thanks to (Dr.BABA) for saving my relationship and for
    also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested
    to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell
    caster email address is (okutemple@hotmail.com)

  • Mr Anderson

    My name is joy brown, am from maim USA. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr okunade who brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows anAd pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn’t worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that’s why i want to say a big thank you to Dr okunade. This great man made me to understand that theirs no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at:(okunadelovespell@gmail.com)

  • Mr Anderson

    My name is Naomi not important here cos all i can say is that if you need a
    spell caster to help you with your problem then the best one is MUTTON OSUN.
    He is the only reliable spell caster i know.This is not just cos he helped me
    i mean if you are reading this comment on the internet, you will definitely
    see other comment about how he has saved relationship with his spell,helped
    people win lottery and i read one a man named Sandburg don’t know if its his
    real name said MUTTON OSUN help with a spell to secure a job and bring back
    wife who left him.I am composing this comment to pin the fact that MUTTON
    OSUN has also helped me.After six years of marriage it hard to really
    understand when your wife is see another man and asking for a divorce just so
    see can be with him.It so hard for me cos i thought we were doing fine.Maybe
    i was too blind that i didn’t know something was wrong with us or i wasn’t
    giving her the attention she needed.Which ever which way there was something
    that i knew,she was breaking my heart and i still loved her with my life.I
    know people may probably say it unlike a man but i lost my virginity to her
    and sine then there have been no other in my life but her.I gave up
    everything for her My family, and everything and everyone that wanted us not
    to be.I could not imagine how she could be so heartless and so unfaithful i
    mean i gave her my life!.I was ready to let her go i left our house and her
    new painter boyfriend moved in.They turned my private store room to his art
    studio and started sharing my bed with my wife.He was practically living my
    life for me cos everything i had in our house was converted to his.With every
    day that passed grew mad at the painter cos i was still in love with my wife
    she is the only family i have left and in my head i thought i just lost her
    to another man after all the sacrifice i have made to see us together.Before
    i even thought of spell casting i tried the memory lane method but she was
    not even willing to talk to me for more than a minute or even have a bit with
    me it was almost like she was allergic to me after five years of marriage.The
    thought of another man making love to my wife consumed me i lost focus and
    was totally confused on what to do.I remember drowning myself with bottles of
    vodka to kill the pain and try to forget her but i pass out and wake up
    thinking about her.Just when i thought i needed to get rid of of my cheating
    wife with the help on the internet, i came across a lot of comment on how
    MTTON OSUN has helped to get exes back so at that moment i was no longer
    thinking of how to get rid of her instead i was thinking and willing to do
    anything just to have my wife back.When i contacted the spell caster that is
    MUTTON OSUN with the email i saw on the comment he called me, after i made
    him understand my problem.He told me he was sad for me cos i left my whole
    world and family for her.He asked that i get some materials i can disclose
    but it nothing to worry about cos they are totally harmless.I felt it was
    gonna be hard to send them down to him so i gave him the money for the
    materials.After two days he sent me a package containing my spell.He
    instructed me on how to make it effective and i swear on my dead sister grave
    the spell made my wife mine again,Its was so supernatural how it happened i
    can’t just explain from how she left the painter and everything beats my
    imagination all i know is that MUTTON OSUN spell is was powerful enough to
    get me my wife back.Contact him here on his email address for solution to
    your own problem :airemokhaspellcaster@gmail.com

  • james

    I was married for 4years with out any child,because of this my husband
    start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending
    time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my
    doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make
    life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about
    (okutemple@hotmail.com) from the Internet,how he has helped people
    with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him
    and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days
    later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me
    he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i
    got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with
    ourselves. Thanks to (Dr.BABA) for saving my relationship and for
    also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested
    to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell
    caster email address is (okutemple@hotmail.com)