• Mon, Oct 14 - 1:00 pm ET

10 Vagina Cakes For Baby Showers That Are Disturbing And Awesome

No one wants to cut into a vagina cake at a baby shower. I repeat, no one wants to cut into a vagina cake at a baby shower. Even if it is molded from the most exquisite fondant and has a cute little baby popping out of it. Actually, especially if it is molded from the most exquisite fondant and has a cute little baby popping out of it.

Look, I don’t want to insult anyone’s handy work. Someone obviously put a lot of time into these vaginas. I just don’t understand the trend of reminding a hugely pregnant woman that she’s about to have a baby tear through her lady parts. That’s not nice.

1. The “Glazed-Strawberry Lady Bits” Cake

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(Pinterest/ Brittany De Los Santos)

Realistic doll-heads are the creepiest. Realistic doll heads emerging from glazed strawberries just ruined my favorite flavor of cheesecake for me forever.

2. The “I-Just-Started-To-Crown” Cake

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(Pinterest/ Sarah Prieto)

I ended up with two c-sections, but from what I’ve heard this is the most painful part of childbirth. Happy baby shower!

3. The “Giant Vagina/ Tiny Baby” Cake

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(Pinterest/ Ashley Sloop)

The proportions on this cake are like, whoa. Also, the baby has some really impressive eyelashes.

4. The “Here I Come” Out Of Your Vagina Cake

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(happyplace/someecards.com)

Bad news – this baby is already yelling at you. Good news – he made his own bottle.

 

5. The “Your Vagina Will Soon Return To Its Former Glory” Cupcakes

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(Pinterest/ Cat Babione)

Soon, your vagina will just be a vagina.

6. The “Somebody Warn The Baby – This Vagina Has Teeth” Cake

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(Pinterest/ Mara Bernstein)

I don’t even know what to say about this one.

7. The “Your Vagina Is Actually A Tiger” Cake

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(Twitter)

My doula told me it was empowering to think of myself as an animal during birth – you know, by not being afraid to grunt and be as fierce as I needed to be. I don’t think this is what she meant.

8. The “Lady Garden” Cake

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(Pinterest/ Selkie Sarah)

Who doesn’t want their lady garden to have roses in it?

9. The “I’m Here To Haunt Your Dreams” Cake

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(Cake Wrecks)

I’m terrified of this cake. Also, it looks like the baby is missing an eye.

10. The “Extreme Close Up Of Your Birthing Vagina” Cake

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(Cake Wrecks)

Too close.

By popular demand…. Penis cakes.

AND BY EVEN bigger popular demand Vagina Cakes Part That Are Awesome And Disturbing Part Two: Electric Bugaloo 

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • Pixie Rose

    Yeah…Reason # 462 Why I’m Never Breeding: This. This tacky and – quite honestly – straight up disgusting bullshit right here.

  • Pixie Rose

    Yeah…Reason # 462 Why I’m Never Breeding: This. This tacky and – quite honestly – straight up disgusting bullshit right here.

    • Serai 1

      I`m glad yu`re not breeding either – we already have enough stoopid now.

    • Pixie Rose

      This from the person with the tenuous at best grasp on spelling and grammar. Oh honey, I’d seriously go back and polish up on your grade-school-level language skills before you have the audacity to call anyone “stoopid” OR add any of your obviously sub-par genetics to the gene pool.
      Signed the “stoopid” person with two degrees who has published written works.

    • tomzuk

      Wow !
      You have a degree and “two” – not one but “two” published written works !
      That makes you so much better than everyone else on here.
      Oooh ! And you`re using big words like “tenuous” and “audacity”
      I`m really pleased for you Sweetheart and so glad you`re not breeding (probably because all your eggs have dried up but we won`t go into semantics on here)
      Tell us all about your exciting written works ? I personally can`t wait !

    • Pixie Rose

      I’m sorry, WHEN exactly did I say I was “better” than anyone else? Sorry that maybe all you’ve done with your life is pump out a few puppies. That HARDLY makes you superior in any way. And by the way, I’m in my early thirties, not only QUITE a ways away from menopause but with no shortage of attention from the opposite sex, so I’d gather arguing semantics (whether about my supposedly “dried up” eggs or otherwise) is hardly your strong suit (neither is sarcasm. Boo all around). I’m also really sorry that some women, like myself, have had time to expand their minds and enjoy pursuits that they love and maybe you just lack the talent for anything other than being brood-mare. You’re bitterness and insecurity are showing. Now I’m going back to drinking pinot noir with a gorgeous Puerto Rican artist.

    • Serai 1

      Love yourself much ?

  • Pixie Rose

    Yeah…Reason # 462 Why I’m Never Breeding: This. This tacky and – quite honestly – straight up disgusting bullshit right here.

  • Jahfry

    Still not as terrible as a litterbox cake.

  • Jahfry

    Still not as terrible as a litterbox cake.

  • Jahfry

    Still not as terrible as a litterbox cake.

  • chris ze miller
    • chris ze miller

      The Cuckoo’s Nest.A rude tube song sung by mortimersmiller.

  • Paoloski

    wrong in o many ways and more

    • spunkysmum

      Learn English loser….

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  • Grecia Lane

    first off get your facts straight, it depicts a vulva the outside, the baby is in the tunnel we cant see. second, she spits him out, he doesnot tear tear through. the only good reminder is that you were birthed, and you will die consumed by a higher power. ofcouse the baby should be the only one depicted as pastry. the comentors, author are just as slanderous as they claim the person is. We have eyeball candy for Halloween too.

  • Zimriel

    I am disappointed at the lack of H R Giger references here.

    I admire… its purity.

    • tomzuk

      WTF ?

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  • Wojtek

    Only spoiled and bored nations might have come up with such “adoration” ….. wake up bored people!

    • tomzuk

      Derp…..

  • Emily Anderson

    Wow, some of these are pretty graphic or a cake!

    • spunkysmum

      Well what are they ? Graphic or cake dumbass ?

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  • Lynne

    The reason why I don’t like these cakes is because “birth” isn’t something that wets my appetite. Internal body fluids, mucous, tissue, and blood from birthing isn’t appetizing to me. What’s next? Enema cakes? Hangover cakes complete with vomit? WTF I understand that some people find these type of cakes very appealing and in good taste….I’m just not one of those people. But…just to clarify…I think the human body and birth is a beautiful thing in their NATURAL state….not as a food. LOL And, NO, eating a cake like this is not sexual in any way, shape, or form. You don’t actually bite off, chew, and swallow female or male genitalia….well, unless you are a cannibal.

    • Zimriel

      Wow….you`d be the life of the party………

  • theTwistedmelon

    What next ?
    Abortion cakes ?

  • deanna varnadore

    these cakes should be illegal!pure nasty.what kind of people enjoy cakes like this?this just goes to show how far people will go to ruin a magic time in your life.

    • Frogzlegz

      Well you looked at them you silly ignorant bitch.
      Lucky they don`t make “stupid” illegal.

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  • frisky lesbian Raff broads

    I won’t be hungry for the rest of the week.

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  • Matt Tuckey

    If that’s what a birthing vagina looks like, it defies belief that the human race actually thrives.

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      You religious people and your deceit…LOL

    • Matt Tuckey

      I have no idea why this would have anything to do with religion. I was raised Church of England, but that’s totally irrelevant. I meant, “Is that what we stick out dicks in?”

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      Religion IS the reason for hating on anything related to “sex”.

      Get a life, instead of spreading pro-religious/politically conservative propaganda (Also known as the “Hateful ignorance”).

      -1

    • Matt Tuckey

      What I meant was, that despite the fact that I enjoy sticking my knob in a minge, the inside of a minge doesn’t actually look that nice. It has NOTHING to do with religion, so keep your bullshit accusations to yourself, you jumped-up zealot.

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      LIES

    • Matt Tuckey

      Why would I be lying? I wrote a post about the appearance of the inside of a woman’s vagina, and you brought religion into it. Weird.

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      You mad?

    • Matt Tuckey

      You trolling?

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      You an epic failure?

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      LOL!!!!

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  • Alice Tran

    It is the most horrible cakes I have ever seen. I don’t want to eat. But I like the creative way.

  • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

    ” Mommyish.com ” = Religion = Hate

    • spunkysmum

      Your username is meant to be ironic, right? I can’t imagine that somebody so obviously severely logic-impaired would be at all enthusiastic about science.

    • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

      “logic-impaired”?

      Why do you say that? Is it because you personally attack people when they bash religion?

      Lol…

      Bye.

  • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

    I was shocked to look at the comments…they show a lot of hate to “sex”, because of the FALSE and CRUEL, and sociopolitical set of beLIEfs, known as “religion”!!!!

    F*** THE COMMENTS!!!!

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  • Sara

    These cakes are disgusting. Have some class people

    • spunkysmum

      Go fuck yourself with a dildo….

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  • Guest

    I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    • Serai 1

      Fromm swallowing too much cum ?

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  • http://healthcare.gov/ Scot Harvath

    I’m so glad we can now say vagina wherever we are.

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  • gary u. trance

    I’m thinking that the recipient of #8 is a blonde, eh?

  • Ken.S

    Makes me hungry for borsche.

  • kiwiinoz

    oh shit i laughed so hard it hurts…brilliant article i had no idea these cakes even existed and im on baby number five…i applaud this piece truly…id manage to het a hrip then read the next line and be hysterical again!thanks heaps!

  • ElegantMarie

    Ummm, the vagina is an internal part of the anatomy. These cupcakes represent the labia and clitoris people . . .

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