10 Vagina Cakes For Baby Showers That Are Disturbing And Awesome

No one wants to cut into a vagina cake at a baby shower. I repeat, no one wants to cut into a vagina cake at a baby shower. Even if it is molded from the most exquisite fondant and has a cute little baby popping out of it. Actually, especially if it is molded from the most exquisite fondant and has a cute little baby popping out of it.

Look, I don’t want to insult anyone’s handy work. Someone obviously put a lot of time into these vaginas. I just don’t understand the trend of reminding a hugely pregnant woman that she’s about to have a baby tear through her lady parts. That’s not nice.

1. The “Glazed-Strawberry Lady Bits” Cake


(Pinterest/ Brittany De Los Santos)

Realistic doll-heads are the creepiest. Realistic doll heads emerging from glazed strawberries just ruined my favorite flavor of cheesecake for me forever.

2. The “I-Just-Started-To-Crown” Cake


(Pinterest/ Sarah Prieto)

I ended up with two c-sections, but from what I’ve heard this is the most painful part of childbirth. Happy baby shower!

3. The “Giant Vagina/ Tiny Baby” Cake


(Pinterest/ Ashley Sloop)

The proportions on this cake are like, whoa. Also, the baby has some really impressive eyelashes.

4. The “Here I Come” Out Of Your Vagina Cake



Bad news – this baby is already yelling at you. Good news – he made his own bottle.


5. The “Your Vagina Will Soon Return To Its Former Glory” Cupcakes


(Pinterest/ Cat Babione)

Soon, your vagina will just be a vagina.

6. The “Somebody Warn The Baby – This Vagina Has Teeth” Cake


(Pinterest/ Mara Bernstein)

I don’t even know what to say about this one.

7. The “Your Vagina Is Actually A Tiger” Cake



My doula told me it was empowering to think of myself as an animal during birth – you know, by not being afraid to grunt and be as fierce as I needed to be. I don’t think this is what she meant.

8. The “Lady Garden” Cake


(Pinterest/ Selkie Sarah)

Who doesn’t want their lady garden to have roses in it?

9. The “I’m Here To Haunt Your Dreams” Cake


(Cake Wrecks)

I’m terrified of this cake. Also, it looks like the baby is missing an eye.

10. The “Extreme Close Up Of Your Birthing Vagina” Cake


(Cake Wrecks)

Too close.

By popular demand…. Penis cakes.

AND BY EVEN bigger popular demand Vagina Cakes Part That Are Awesome And Disturbing Part Two: Electric Bugaloo 

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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    • Maman Seo

      nice cake ! very good post ! tnx a lot دانلود فیلتر شکن

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    • wolfendenpackleader

      # 3, the Michelle Duggar vagina cake. what your vagina looks like after birthing 19 kids.

    • wolfendenpackleader

      Well maybe we would not be seeing all of these “vagina cakes, cookies and other desserts” in the female genitalia if the American MALE politicians had not gone batshit crazy over abortion, contraception, fetuses,and all other aspects of the female body and reproduction. This comes(cums) from the GOP and their fringe in 99% of the laws pertaining to womens bodies and who gets to control them.
      There was even one Teabagger male congress critter who tried to make it law to make women tape their nipples down with duct tape, as it was distracting to the male of the species. I have seen breast cakes and cookies also. And another old foggy who thought women/girls need to be taught to walk with books on their heads to learn how to walk the way he thinks is acceptable. And these are true statements from the nutjobs in congress.
      Maybe they should have STFU when sworn into office and all of these kinds of questionable baked goods would not have popped up in the first place.

    • Brandy McNamee

      The teeth. The teeth, the teeth, the teeth. I cannot stop laughing. Don’t listen to all the stuffy party-poopers, some people just gotta be bitching about SOMETHING or their life just doesn’t feel complete (see @TheScienceEnthusiast1130:disqus) but these posts are filled with hilarity rivaling that of Cakewrecks, and vag cakes are disgusting and unnecessary, but oh-so-funny in a cake-train-wreck kind of way that makes me chortle with devilish glee.

      • TheScienceEnthusiast1130

        Waaa, waaa, cry more, ignorant feminist.

    • Heather

      Not my style but it is hilarious and creative. Lighten up its bc of vagiines we are all here. So keep eating them and cake.

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