When Are A Breastfeeding Mother’s Boobs Back On The Table?

shutterstock_119741476__1381690599_142.196.156.251Precisely when does a breastfeeding mother become comfortable with her partner touching her boobs again? Asking for a friend.

Okay, I’m not asking for a friend. But I seriously can’t remember how long it took me to actually enjoy my boobs being touched after I had my first baby. Four months into breastfeeding my second – I don’t let my partner anywhere near them.

I’ve moved past the point in breastfeeding where they are sore all the time – but this child is constantly on the boob. Having a little being attached to my breast for 70% of the day makes the 30% a no touching zone. Not to mention the fact that the milk itself has a serious trajectory. I don’t find it particularly sexy to shoot my partner in the face with breast milk. I’m not knocking anyone who does, but for me it’s just not a turn-on.

Maybe it’s because I am in the midst of exclusively breastfeeding. Once I’m not doing it so much, maybe everything will fall back into place. I just wonder if a lot of other mothers have the same struggle. Right now I just feel like a milk factory. These boobs are not the pleasure zones they once were. I’m beginning to doubt if they ever will be again.

Honestly, I don’t recall ever really loving them being touched again after I breastfed the first time. There was a point when I could tolerate it again, which then moved to slightly enjoying it – but I don’t remember loving it. And then I got pregnant again. Will I consider these things a food-source forevermore? If so, bummer.

Did anyone else have a hard time with this? If you never regained your desire to have them touched again, don’t even tell me.

(photo: Shay Yacobinski/ Shutterstock)


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  • Anna

    My breasts were a no touch zone until my son was done exclusively bf’ing around 6 months. He’s 18 months old now and were still nursing and I’ve been comfortable incorporating touching and “cupping” by my husband but I’m still very uncomfortable with any type of nipple action by him. I’m planning on weaning when he’s 2, my husband tells me often how much he misses my breasts! I LOVE the cat gif, that’s totally me lol!

  • Véronique Houde

    For me it was the opposite!!! Pre-baby, my breasts were never very sensitive – and having them touched sexually did nothing for me. But holy cow, when I started producing milk, it was a whole other ballgame!!! It didn’t turn me on to have my baby on my breast, but during sex, I finally enjoyed having them touched. When I stopped breastfeeding, the sensation went away. :(

    Funny story, my daughter who is now 1 got sick a few weeks ago, and after having slept on me for a nap, I started producing a little bit of milk again… Sensation came back to my breasts again!! Guess who expels a bit of milk every day just to keep the feeling there? I’m not ashamed to say that I do. ;) I don’t produce anything close to enough to feed my child, but enough to make my breasts more agreeable to the touch. That’s enough for both my boyfriend and me.

    • Simone

      Lol, go with the flow.

  • Bethany Ramos

    I hate my boobs while exclusively pumping for my 5mo. My husband will sometimes jokingly poke a boob while I’m hooked up to the pump, and I’m like, if you effing touch me again… So there’s your answer. :)

  • Momma425

    I’ve never really been turned on by breast play. It’s not a turn off either- just does nothing for me.
    I didn’t breastfeed at all, and my daughter’s dad stupidly assumed that it was an “okay to touch area.” Nope. I still had milk come in that had to go away and it HURT. F— that! I told him if he ever touched me there before I was ready, I would kick him in the balls.
    After daughter’s dad and I broke up, when daughter was 10months old, I got my nipples pierced. I started dating my husband, and because of the new piercings, that was pretty much a no touch area for a while when we first met. Just didn’t feel good at all.
    Then, one night, he decided to surprise me, and squeezed one of my nipples during sex. IT HURT SO BAD!!
    Every time he comes anywhere near my boobs, I get turned off immediately remembering the pain. So basically, I have triple d’s, pierced nipples, and he can’t ever touch EVER because 2years ago he hurt me once and I still remember.
    Wishing you better luck than me Maria!

  • Ann B.

    I never had a problem. Honestly, as long as they weren’t sore or didn’t have a baby on them at that very moment in time, they were fair game. Obviously it will be different for each woman.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido


  • Kheldarson

    I’m two months into exclusively breastfeeding, and my poor hubs is getting jealous. I swat him away sometimes too, particularly when I’m really sensitive there, but we’ve got a small balance going sometimes. Basically, when I’m comfy, not full, and not currently breastfeeding, we can cuddle and he can do light touches. It’s a nice reminder that I’m not just a milk machine without having the immediate build up pressure of doing other things. That might help.

  • Felix

    I felt better when the milk went away and my boobs healed a little bit, and became softer and more sensitive… but then I started lactating again because I was pregnant with my son. Wait a few weeks or months to declare it a safe zone after weaning to help mentally (kind of like how sex makes you think of childbirth and doesn’t seem attractive for a few weeks)

  • kay

    I’m fine with it. And I have a C cup instead of the A cup my husband married… Letting him enjoy it while it lasts.

    That said, I rarely have any like, leaking issues or whatnot. I think that would factor into the equation if I did.

  • LadyClodia

    For me it wasn’t until after my boys completely weaned and I wasn’t lactating anymore at all that I was comfortable having my husband touch my boobs again, let alone enjoy it. So that was probably 15/16 months after they were born.

  • That_Darn_Kat

    Personally, I wound up getting so horny that I waited only 3 weeks to start getting busy with my hubby after each kid. I would wear a bra if I hadn’t fed a baby in a little bit, to limit leaking, but otherwise, I loved it. But, every woman is different.

  • http://www.whatwouldshethink.com/ Rachelle

    I will abstain from commenting since my sister will likely read this and the last thing I need her visualizing is her brother-in-law playing with her sister’s hoohas. But I will say that breasts definitely have a new and improved role in my couple. I was expecting to have issues. But it took me a couple months (lack of energy mostly).

  • Simone

    I’m not really a happy boob lady, I don’t mind if the Loved Man plays around with them but they really don’t produce any signficant happiness or satisfaction for me. I breastfed for about a year, and stopped about six months ago. But, I also don’t recall them producing much delight for me before breastfeeding either, so.

  • Sam Inoue

    I feel like it was 7 months into breast feeding that I didn’t feel to sore with my daughter. I am currently breastfeeding my son (5 months) and I feel like it is far less crappy, nothing like the first time with no soreness except in the first month. I dunno if thats weird that it was so different.

  • Jessica

    Thank you for this, because I tried to Google this once and got some scary results!! Aside from the scary places Google tried to send me, it also opened a discussion board where a woman asked a similar question, and was mocked by the people who replied (“If you and your husband can’t handle a little milk, then maybe you aren’t mature enough for babies”). I am 9 months in and they are still off the table for me. My husband is disappointed… but I just can’t stay in the moment. I am glad to see quite the continuum of responses. I have hope for the future of my boobs!

    • Allie

      I guess they didn’t understand the question. It’s not about the milk, it’s about being touched out with nursing and not wanting to be touched there. Sometimes, especially in the early days of cluster feeding for hours on end, I didn’t want my baby touching me either. When that happens, you’ve got to take a break, take a walk, a bath, anything to get away from everything for a while. I’m sure it will get better, and probably sooner than later the less you both stress about it. I find nothing more mood-inducing than no pressure.

    • Kat

      I’m less generous than Allie who commented previously and I’m more inclined to think that they are arseholes. I could not stand having my husband anywhere near my boobs while I was breastfeeding and I quietly despaired that I’d ever feel ‘normal’ again. But, two kids later, each time things changed when my babies weaned. You (and your husband) should have hope!

  • Allie

    I never enjoyed my boobs being touched before I had a baby. They’ve never been that sensitive, which is actually a good thing when you’re breastfeeding, and they’re even less so now. I’d much rather be caressed down my back. I can tolerate that even when babe is nursing lots and I’m feeling touched out.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    I really didn’t like my breasts being touched sexually when I was breastfeeding. Too many nurses, midwives, my doula had all handled them. My baby drank from them. I had a pump attached to them. They were no longer a source of pleasure and they ceased to feel sexy to me.

    Once I quit (Three months) within a month I felt like my old self again. Breasts are multifaceted, but for me they can’t do double duty.

  • Janok Place

    Beyond the initial first few weeks, I was perfectly fine with it. Nearly nothing phases my husband. Granted, I did a vaginal birth and still was happy to revisit “marital activity” in two weeks. I thinks everyone is different!