What is it with crazy brides gift-shaming their guests? When did an invitation to a wedding become a binding contract? It didn’t – but you’d think it had the way that some brides and grooms act toward their guests. Yes, it is proper manners to give gifts to a couple within a year of their marriage. Is it required? No. Should it be something that guests are reprimanded about? Definitely not.
The newest installment of “you ate at my wedding and now you are required to shower me with cash” comes from a bride named Brandy who goes text crazy on her friend Gretchen when she realizes Gretchen is too broke to give her the wedding gift she was expecting. When Gretchen explains that she lost the card she was going to give Brandy, Brandy implies that it sucks because the money that she of course expects will be in it will help her pay the bills for her wedding. This text interaction ensues:
Gretchen: What I have to give you won’t help at all, unfortunately – lost my job right before the wedding, which was completely unexpected and now that school has started I’ve spent so much money on books and tuition. Had I known, ever, that four parties were going to be held in your honor this year, I would have saved it all and given it to you in a lump sum instead
Brandy: Ok but it’s still something instead u coming for free ya know
Gretchen: I’ll be by with the card later, if you’re not home, I’ll leave it with your mother
Brandy: Ill be home
Brandy: So I understand ur strapped for money should I not send an invite for the baby shower in November
Oh my God. “Coming for free?” Why don’t we just start charging admission? That way everyone can be clear about expectations right off the bat.
Weddings are incredibly expensive for everyone involved – attendees included. And rarely is it just the wedding day that you are expected to pay up. The engagement party, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party – all of these events have a gift expectation. You’re really screwed if the wedding is out of town. That usually requires some travel expenses and maybe even some time off work. Some weddings require so much effort, the additional expectation of a gift is almost insulting.
Back to Brandy. She’s awful. But Gretchen responded in kind, by taping a penny to a piece of paper that read, “Here is your card. Now I didn’t go to your wedding for free.” Her entire response is pretty epic; she even included a footnote referencing an expert who insists that the sole cost of weddings falls squarely on the bride and groom.
Listen brides, it’s not your guests’ fault that your wedding was so expensive. Stop expecting them to earn their meals.