Grandad Disowns Daughter After She Disowns His Gay Grandson In Applause-Worthy Letter

The only thing better than homophobic parents getting schooled is the schooling happening from their own damn parents. Such is the hit of awesome that reportedly comes out of viral handwritten note one father passed along to his daughter after she bounced out her gay son.

The letter, in full, was reportedly sent to FCKH8, an LGBTQ t-shirt company:


In case that penmanship isn’t up to your standards, the letter reads:

Dear Christine:

I’m disappointed in you as a daughter. You’re correct that we have a “shame in the family”, but mistaken about what it is.

Kicking Chad out of your home simply because he told you he was gay is the real “abomination” here. A parent disowning her child is what goes “against nature”.

The only intelligent thing I heard you saying in all this was that “you didn’t raise your son to be gay”. Of course you didn’t. He was born this way and didn’t chase it any more than he being left-handed. You however, have made a choice of being hurtful, narrow-minded and backward. So, while we are in the business of disowning our children, I think I’ll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gays put it) grandson to raise, and I don’t have time for heart-less B-word of a daughter.

If you find your heart, give us a call.

- Dad

Buzzfeed reports that the letter was sent in from a FCKH8 supporter, but there are unfortunately doubts to its authenticity. Nevertheless, Facebookers are sharing it like breastfeeding tips.

But let’s hope a grandfather of this quality is out there somewhere, stepping up to the plate as both a parent and a grandparent.

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  • Mystik Spiral

    I hope the letter is real, because it is very refreshing, especially considering how homophobia is generally a trait handed down from generation to generation.

    • Miss Isis

      You wrote everything I wanted to say : ) I hope this letter is real too.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Which is what sadly, makes me suspect it’s not, even though I want it to be too.

    • Blueathena623

      Maybe he crossed the “too old to give a shit” Rubicon? My grandmother started to seriously mellow out in her 90′s.

    • Spiderpigmom

      Mine got worse in her 90s. She started going on antisemitic rants, OMG was it cringe-worthy. She was not senile, she just stopped giving a shit that other people were horrified.

    • Blueathena623

      My grandma didn’t give a shit her whole life, so maybe that was the difference.

    • Alicia Kiner

      I know that typically, hate breeds hate, but I can tell you from personal experience, it’s not always the case. My parents and grandparents are/were racist and homophones asshats. Somehow, my siblings and I (all 5 of us) are not. Not really sure how it happened ;-) but I’m glad it did. I really hope this letter is real and I hope Chad gets all the love he deserves from this grandfather.

    • Alicia Kiner

      That should be homophobic… Darn auto correct

    • Ginny

      I was kinda wondering what a homophone asshat was. I laughed way more at that then I probably should have too.

    • Angela

      Unfortunately I’ve seen this go the other way as well. Actually a good share of hyper-fundamentalist Christian parents today were raised in fairly mainstream homes and gradually just became more conservative and fanatical. Sometimes it’s because they marry into it. Or they may start attending a church without realizing just how conservative it is (Churches can be really good about putting only their best foot forward for new members and then gradually pulling them in).

    • Blueathena623

      My BIL and SIL are prime examples. My husbands family is religious, but not overly so. The BIL and SIL were pretty mellow until they started going to a new church that is very conservative. It has become their whole life, and the lives of their children. I don’t get how you can go from understanding evolution and history to believing passionately in the New Earth crap in such a short amount of time. My SIL home schools, and I don’t know what is worse — that my nieces and nephews will someday be laughed at because they were taught that dinosaurs and people co-existed OR they will never encounter people who think differently. What bother me most is that my SIL is becoming more rabid, for lack of a better word, that my nieces should not get higher education and just prepare for a life of being a dutiful Christian wife and mother homemaker. But my SIL went to college! She’s held jobs. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife, but give the girls the ability to choose just in case their husbands don’t turn out to be as “righteous” as they may have hoped. And the kicker? My BIL’s parents are the most laid back hippie liberals — BIL was spent a chunk of his life on a commune.

    • Angela

      I definitely think the possibility of them never encountering differing viewpoints is much more frightening. I have no problem with parents teaching their religious beliefs to their children but indoctrination and isolationism is an abuse of parental authority IMO. Also, I really hope for your nieces’ sakes that they don’t believe in “courtship” which is the Christian view of arranged (sometimes forced) marriages. I hope that you can maintain a close relationship with your nieces and nephews because if they ever go against their parents’ views it will not be pretty. They will need a safe place to go (you may need to write a similar letter one day).

    • Wendy

      “Courtship” is NOT a mainstream Christian view. It is extremist, as is 99% of the things Blueathena623′s BIL and SIL are teaching their children.

    • Angela

      I wasn’t trying to imply that it was. I think most people understand that the vast majority of Christians don’t practice arranged marriages. I only brought it up because her BIL and SIL sound like the kind of extremists who might and it isn’t widely known about as it is so rare. I’m sorry if my intent was unclear.

    • Pappy

      I saw a great comic recently on the subject of teaching children ID and keeping them away from higher learning. It showed an Asian scientist in a lab saying “Yes, please teach your children dogma instead of science! Our children would very much like their jobs!”

      That’s about the size of it. All that the anti-learning homeschoolers will learn in a few years is that they’ve guaranteed that educated liberals and foreigners will be their sons’ bosses. Thanks, fundies! You’re breeding a new generation of poor, uneducated wage slaves whose blood, sweat and tears will grease the wheels of industry for many years to come.

    • Cyb

      My dad is also a example. My grandparents are pretty much okay with everything, but my mother’s family are generally very hateful and prejudiced. According to my grandmother, he changed a LOT after her got married.

    • Frances Locke

      My greatest generation grand dad was raised by super religious bigots and became a huge ally to the LGBT community before he died.

    • Andrea

      Yeah but the opposite is rare though. I think it’s pretty rare that an older person would be more tolerant than his own daughter.

    • T

      My parents are super religious, and pretty much disowned myself for leaving the church, and my sis for being gay. that being said, my moms parents are incredibly supportive and active gay rights supporters, and tehy are in their 80′s

    • Frances Locke

      For what its worth, this is pretty much how my grand dad reacted when his uncle disowned his niece when she came out in the 1980s. He was also very accepting and supportive of my bisexuality, so there are plenty of people of this generation who are awesome allies.

  • Angela

    Not sure if I hope it is or isn’t real. On the one hand I think it’s totally awesome that a grandparent would stand up for the kid like that. On the other hand it means that that the hating mom is real too (and I know that those kind of parents exist whether the letter’s real or not). I guess that despite the heroic grandpa this story’s still so heartbreaking that part of me wishes that it’s not real.

    • Frances Locke

      Well said.

  • Amber Starr

    If this is real, I really wanna high-5 this grandfather and adopt him as my own grandpa.

  • YourWifeIsMyLife

    Yeah, this has to be fake, sadly. I can’t believe the daughter who received it would go and post it on the Internet.

    • R Zhao

      Who said she posted it on the internet? Anyone who got their hands (or camera) on the letter could have.

    • jessica

      I was thinking that the person who photographed the letter might be one of the other children of the mom who received it.

    • YourWifeIsMyLife

      What would prompt her to show this to anyone unsympathetic to her, or even leave it lying around to be photographed? I mean, anything’s possible, but that seems a very unlikely scenario.

    • jessica

      Probably because she’s so sure that she’s in the right. If my MIL or FIL were to get a letter like this, they’d probably post it on their front door if not their facebook pages. They’d view it as a badge of honor, you know, “Look at what my asshole father did when all we’re trying to do is stand up for biblical values” and all that. What is really hard to believe is that this family hasn’t had clashes before this point.

      Anyway, it’s a moot point now since FCKH8 clarified that Chad himself submitted the photo after his grandpa wrote it but before he sent it. He’s apparently living with his grandparents since his mom kicked him out.

    • YourWifeIsMyLife

      Who would that be, though? Why on earth would she show this to anyone who was likely to embarass her with it on the net?
      More likely “Chad” wrote it himself to get back at her. (If “Chad” really exists, of course.)

    • Alicia Kiner

      Or Chad took a picture of it before the letter was left for his mother. Just for example… “Hold on grandpa, I want to take a picture of this so whenever I feel really crappy that my mom disowned me, I can read this to remind myself you were always there for me.” And then he showed it to a friend, and they said, hey you should post it. Although, I can see a person posting this, as a “can you believe this crap? my dad had the gall to question my parenting?” to like-minded friends on facebook or something, and it getting taken from there. People are crazy.

  • TheMadTeaCup

    I’m beginning to think YourWife is actually ChadsMom or a friend of. Regardless, i think the letter is brilliant.

  • Allyson_et_al

    My 10-year-old son once said to me out of the blue, “You know what’s really stupid? Parents who kick their kids out just for being gay.” Real or not, he loves this letter as much as I do. Seriously, as much as I hate the idea of a mother doing this to her kid, I love the idea of a grandfather this cool.

  • anonion

    How is this “applause-worthy?” It’s her house. She can kick anyone out if she wants.

    • disqus_WjKIYzni5a

      Okay, but to kick out her own son?!? If you bring a child into this world you are promising to love them unconditionally, gay or not.

    • Nia

      LOL That’s true.

  • BJinGA

    I have to say up front I hate religion and I hate politics. I also hate that this has become fodder for both. This is a HUMAN issue. While I doubt the letter is legit, I too hope there is a grandfather out there who WOULD write a letter such as this in support of a gay grandchild. As long as this nation remains blind to the fact that politics and religion is what is keeping us divided on important issues….we will always degenerate to name calling and nothing will ever get done….and this is oh so what the politicians are counting on. Instead of making blank statements and tossing around the same bs….we should be looking to the real enemies here…ones who use controversy to further their agenda…whether it be politicians or religious leaders. Yes…not all of them are corrupt (lest I do exactly what I stated we should not do!)….however, instead of tearing apart a mother who freaks out when she finds out a son or daughter is gay….reach OUT to her. There should be some kind of LGBTQ outreach program that tries to bridge this gap….not go on the attack. If this world is ever going to grow and move forward, SOMEONE has to take the first step! When one comes out raging and name calling and doesn’t give the other more conservative side a calm, reassuring face to being homosexual, well it just reinforces the fear….and it IS fear…..that drives them to never change their minds. I will never understand why both sides have to degenerate to hateful name calling….when ONE side, the underdog as it is, the LGBTQ side…can show strength and grace and reach out and show just how wonderful they are! Come on already!

  • PrairieCoast

    I get the appeal, I suppose it’s nice to see someone who has been unjust get “a taste of their own medicine”, but this is a really immature response. Resorting to name-calling and a “you-hit-me-I’ll-hit-you-back-harder” attitude is reminiscent of the behaviour of five year olds and does nothing to contribute to more tolerant and peaceful society.

    • Homa

      Agree with this ^^

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  • 2bold2care

    Thank goodness my Mom kicked me out when I was eleven, that way I didn’t have to think it’s because I’m gay!

  • Aafan

    Well, some gay were born gays, but some became gays for really complex
    reasons. Don’t think that being gay is only because of gene. Such a
    generalization is simply and plainly pendejo!

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