• Tue, Oct 1 - 1:30 pm ET

Raising The Next Generation Of Whiners

cheese with whineWhite Whiners are not born, they are bred. The process of becoming a White Whiner begins very young, while the child is still in diapers, in fact. At this impressionable age, children are taught the value of brand-name diapers, organic baby food, and a thousand other little luxuries that will almost always fall short in one way or another. Although the child will not understand the concept of “value” or “premium” as she takes a wet dump into a biodegradable $11 diaper, perhaps she will pick up on the subtle look of smug satisfaction on her parents’ faces when they pull out a fresh diaper and make a point of showing it around to the other parents before strapping it on. The kind of look that says, “If only you loved your child as much as I do mine, maybe then you’d be willing to spend the money on the best diapers.”

As we’ve learned through a century or two of developmental psychology study, a child learns to mimic his or her parent. White Whiner parents who bitch about the quality of the day care center or the sweetness of the apple juice served at preschool are doing their part to ensure that their child will grow up to feel the same way. It also ensures that those same proud parents—the ones who insisted on the best in everything for their kids—will soon be the victims of their own creation. Like Dr. Frankenstein or the Grizzly Man, the little White Whiner they loved and trained will soon turn on them. The child has been taught to expect the best in everything, but rarely do his or her parents realize that this desire includes the best in parental figures as well. As it was impossible for any organic diaper company to live up to the expectations of the parent, so will it be impossible for the parent to live up to their White Whiner’s expectation of them.

Because of these parents, the world will always be well stocked with White Whiners. For someday, many years from now, that child will make a child of  his or her own, buy that child the best in everything, teach that child to expect perfection, and, hallelujah, the cycle will begin again!

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Excerpted from White Whine: A Study of First-World Problems Copyright © 2013 by Streeter Seidell and published by F+W Media, Inc. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

All direct social media content provided by the author as posted on his website, www.whitewhine.com

(photo: belvidesigns)

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  • ugh

    Because only white people are privileged right?

    • Blueathena623

      Are you white?

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      It’s an excerpt from a comedy book. He chose white for no deep reason other than it is a pun. White wine. White people. First world problems, most of whom live in the first world are white. And probably enjoy white wine, except when it’s warm, and then they’ll whine about it.

    • Suni

      That is all well and good, but if it was any other color, people would start shouting racism.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      If it was any other colour, there wouldn’t be a history/reality of oppression and privilege backing it up.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      Yeah, can you imagine? Red Whine. Damn natives/First Nations and their whining. And yes, people would be shouting racism because dude, that would be massively racist. Because, you know, history and real issues keeping this race of people down.

      I am always so amused by other white people getting offended about having to acknowledge life is a little easier being white than being any other race.

    • Amber

      For some of us, it really isn’t all that easy just because of our skin color. My childhood was spent in an extremely abusive, poverty stricken home.

      I get more than a little sick of hearing how life has always been such a breeze for me just because I’m pale.

    • Rachel Sea

      Life isn’t easy for you because you’re white, it is easier. A black girl who was raised exactly as you were would have had less privilege. Shitty as things were, they were slightly less shitty than they would have been if you were dealing with all the same shit, and also being discriminated against because you weren’t white.

    • libraryofbird

      Well that is a shitty thing to say to someone.

    • Rachel Sea

      Why? All I did was explain how white privilege still exists for her.

    • libraryofbird

      You disregard the abuse that happened. No one should ever be told that what they suffered didn’t hurt as bad, regardless of their skin color.

    • Poogles

      “You disregard the abuse that happened. No one should ever be told that what they suffered didn’t hurt as bad, regardless of their skin color. ”

      As another white girl who also grew up in an abusive, poor home, I have to disagree with you. Rachel did not disregard the abuse, she simply stated that had Amber been born non-white, she would’ve had to deal with institutionalized racism on top of the shitty hand life already dealt her. No one was implying that because it could’ve been worse her experience doesn’t count. Rachel was only trying to clarify what white privilege means – it doesn’t mean that all white people have easy lives, but that white people do not have to deal with the ADDITIONAL barriers and burdens that non-white people do.

      For an awesome essay on white privilege that gives numerous examples:

      http://ted.coe.wayne.edu/ele3600/mcintosh.html

    • Amber

      I read that and I still don’t see what “privilege” I had as an abused child living in poverty. I could buy hair products? With what? Pocket lint? Oh, I wasn’t seen as a criminal? You sure about that? You think people don’t automatically look at the junkie’s kid when something goes missing, even if she is white?

      You all seriously make me fucking sick to my stomach. A bunch of middle class cunts sitting around on the computer all fucking day with nothing better to do than tell people who went through hell how good they had it based on nothing more than the color of their skin.

      You know what? Fuck you pathetic bitches. You go ahead and pat each other on the back’s and tell each other how smart you are. You’re just heartless fucktards who have no idea what it’s really like to looked upon as dirt by society.

      Go fuck yourselves.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      OH MAN, I JUST SAW THIS, AMBER, I REALLY (ACK SEE, I AM ALL CAPLOCK UPSET) do love you commenting here and I care about you, even though I don’t KNOW you, and I think you have such valid opinions on stuff and you are always so kind to me. I would HATE to see you go and I HATE that you feel bad and ugh anything else I will say will sound dumb and I KNOW you had a horrible fucking rotten childhood and I would do anything to take it all back for you :( don’t go.

    • ChillMama

      Eve, you are so sweet!

    • Rachel Sea

      I do know. I don’t talk about it, but my family was all junkies and alcoholics. Other kids’ parents didn’t want their kids to be friends with me because of my family, there often wasn’t enough to eat, and I regularly rebuilt the soles of my charity shop shoes with hot glue from the school craft room. My family did warped shit, and the first time I remember wishing to die, I was 5. But I know that as bad as things often were, the fact that I didn’t have to deal with racism is thanks to white privilege.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      You guys are all making me sad now

    • Rachel Sea

      I can only speak for myself, but I’m okay with how I was raised. I still have issues (who doesn’t?), but I turned into a highly resilient, social, productive member of society, and I have strengths and resourcefulness that I wouldn’t have had if I were from a typical family.

      And I have stories that make me a hoot at cocktail parties.

    • Poogles

      “My family did warped shit, and the first time I remember wishing to die, I was 5.”

      I honestly don’t remember the first time, I think I’ve always been at least passively suicidal. I do remember making up a song about wanting to die and drawing a cartoon of someone shooting me (at my request) around the ages of 7-9.

    • Rachel Sea

      When I learned about meditation, and that you could slow your heart rate and breathing, I tried to make mine stop. I didn’t want to kill myself, I just didn’t want to be alive.

    • Janok Place

      Jesus Christ! Everyone stop and look at yourselves for a damn minute. This isn’t a “who suffered worse competition”…. The commenters who pointed out this article was racist are pointing out a fact. By definition is IS racism and if you’re OK with that then fine.

      Why are we attacking one another’s shitty, abused childhoods? It’s absolutely sickening. Victims should stand together, support one another, I don’t give a flying fuck what color your skin is. Child abuse is no more or less disgusting, difficult, heart wrenching or painful based on the color of your skin. INSULT PRIVELAGE ALL YOU WANT but there are black, Asian, middle eastern etc RICH people and POOR people same as whites. There are shitastic stuck up ass holes, drug addicts, child abuses and criminals of every race.

      Knock it the fuck off and grow up. Look up the definition of stereo typing and racism, accept the reality of the article and decide if you’re ok with it or not and then move the fuck on. There is nothing more putrid and hateful then dismissing or minimizing the pain one feels from abuse and it has diddly fuck all to do with your skin color. The pain your family inflicts upon you is irrelevant to your skin color. Girls we’ve all suffered, stop inflicting pain on one another for it. This article has created an environment of hatred and animosity. That’s the stuff real racism thrives on. I’m SORRY the majority of the top 3% are white but I’M IN THE OTHER 97% JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOU!

    • Guest

      This times a million. Thànk you!

    • Poogles

      “This isn’t a “who suffered worse competition”…. ”
      “Why are we attacking one another’s shitty, abused childhoods?”

      I’m really failing to see where anyone made it a competition or were attacking each other’s childhood. I mentioned my own past to make it clear I personally understand what it means to be white, poor and abused, that my arguments about white privilege applying to all white people regardless of socio-economic status are not from a place of ignorance.

      “There is nothing more putrid and hateful then dismissing or minimizing the pain one feels from abuse ”

      Where did anyone dismiss or minimize anyone’s pain?? I just don’t get why we keep getting accused of doing this?

      Amber was responding to the claim that “life is a little easier being white than being any other race” by saying “I get more than a little sick of hearing how life has always been such a breeze for me just because I’m pale”.

      “[A] little easier” is NOT the same as “a breeze”. Basically, Amber responded to a claim no one was actually making and when a few people tried to point that out to her and explain how white privilege actually works, people started claiming we were somehow dismissing or minimizing her pain. Disagreeing with someone’s assertions is not the same as a personal attack.

      Recognizing that white privilege exists and that every person with white skin has it does NOT mean that white people NEVER suffer or have hard lives – just that we don’t have the EXTRA burdens that come with not being white. Recognizing white privilege does NOT invalidate the struggles Amber or Rachel or I went through. It does not mean we didn’t suffer.

      Amber, for what it’s worth, I have not been trying to invalidate, minimize, or dismiss your experiences in any way. I’m sorry you had such a hard childhood and hope you have found support and healing in the time since.

    • Janok Place

      Let’s start at the beginning. The content of the article is in regards to a CLASS issue. Which the author decided to label, by race, as a WHITE issue. The class issue is a global one, not a racial one. Amber being white, and having lived in poverty was commentating on the class issue which exists. You, were commenting on the racial issue you have decided is connected with class.

      There are many many different statistics that show many different “facts” about many different races. Propagating these stereo types is just wrong. Abused, neglected, impoverished children don’t like being called “privileged” by anyone, for whatever reason you deemed fit. Amber was showing you the disconnect between the original topic of CLASS which has now turned into RACE due to the authors ill taste in humor. It’s a simple question… Labeling a stereo type with a specific skin color is racist, yes or no?

      Your apology to Amber was a backhanded one. I know many children from many backgrounds with loving nurturing parents. And I’m sure she’d exchange her “white privilege” for a loving family any day of the week. (forgive me Amber if I’m speaking out of place).

    • Poogles

      “Amber being white, and having lived in poverty was commentating on the class issue which exists [...]You, were commenting on the racial issue you have decided is connected with class.”

      She wasn’t commenting on class only, though, she was also talking about race. She responded to a comment about race and specifically said that she “get[s] more than a little sick of hearing how life has always been such a breeze” because she’s white. WHICH NO ONE HAS CLAIMED.

      “Abused, neglected, impoverished children don’t like being called “privileged” by anyone, for whatever reason you deemed fit.”

      I don’t know why you keep speaking as if I am not also a former “abused, neglected, impoverished child”. I have absolutely no problem with acknowledging how I have benefitted from white privilege (and hetero-normative privilege, and first-world privilege etc.) because I understand that it does not mean that I haven’t suffered, even with the privileges working in my favor. And no one called Amber “privileged” in the common usage of that label. We said she has benefitted (and continues to benefit) from white privilege – that does not equate to being “privileged” in the way people normally think of the word.

      “Your apology to Amber was a backhanded one.”

      My comment to Amber was a sincere one, whether you believe it or not.

      “I’m sure she’d exchange her “white privilege” for a loving family any day of the week.”

      That very well may be the case, certainly if I could’ve traded in my skin color for an escape from the abuse I may have done so. Would’ve made my life much easier in some ways, more difficult in others. Unfortunately, white privilege is not something you can choose to not participate in.

      “It’s a simple question… Labeling a stereo type with a specific skin color is racist, yes or no?”

      I used to think it was a simple question, and I would’ve agreed with you at that time. Unfortunately, it really isn’t that simple. “Racism” against white people has no bite because white people are the most privileged “race” of people on the planet, and have been for centuries. The vast differences between the consequences and history behind a stereotype applied to a white person and a stereotype applied to a non-white person means equating them as if they are the same thing is, at best, problematic, and at worse, horribly offensive and damaging to the fight against the serious consequences of racism experienced by non-whites.

      From the link below:
      “we need to recognize that not all hurtful words or deeds are equal when certain ones are backed by a history and current system of domination, violence, oppression, repression, dehumanization, and degradation.”

      http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/08/racist-against-white-people/

    • Janok Place

      firstly, I am very very sorry I should have said “Many” abused, neglected etc.

      I’m going to repeat myself again. The materials the article contains address a class issue, the author goes on to make it a race issue. It’s that simple. The definition of racism is also simple. I completely acknowledge that racism, as anything else in life comes with a HUGE scale. In no way am I saying the slight at whites is equivalent to the KKK burning down homes. Just because it isn’t the worst thing that could be said does not make it right. Even if it might be the mildest form of racism it is STILL racism. For a site geared to open minded, progressive women trying to raise thoughtful children and instil in them the true sense of equality… I don’t feel it is appropriate.

      Each and every society has a history of violence and oppression at one point or another. I realize the atrocities whites have caused but I’m not so blind as to say we are the only evil doers in the world. I, personally, am still unwilling to subject ANY race to bigotry no matter how mild. To each their own, and we will have to agree to disagree.

    • Poogles

      “A bunch of middle class cunts sitting around on the computer all fucking day with nothing better to do than tell people who went through hell how good they had it based on nothing more than the color of their skin.”

      I’ve never been middle class. Grew up poor, now I am considered “working class”. I also never once tried to tell you that you had it good and I didn’t see anyone else saying that either. We have only been trying to dispute your original claim that anyone is implying “life has always been such a breeze for [you] just because [you're] pale” – no one was claiming that.

      For instance:
      “I could buy hair products? With what? Pocket lint?” – the point is that, as a white person, any store you walk into that carries hair products will have products that work for your hair. This is not true for all non-white people. Whether or not you can afford it is not the point.

      “Oh, I wasn’t seen as a criminal? You sure about that? You think people don’t automatically look at the junkie’s kid when something goes missing, even if she is white?” – for this to be true, the people suspecting you would have to KNOW that you were the “junkie’s kid”. This is not the same as being seen as a criminal based purely on what color your skin is – something that is obvious at a glance and not based on what people already know/think about you or your family. If you had walked into a store where no one knew you, you would not be followed and suspected simply because of the color of your skin.

      “You’re just heartless fucktards who have no idea what it’s really like to looked upon as dirt by society.”

      You shouldn’t assume such things, really. I really do know what it is like to be looked down on for being poor, for being “weird” due to the effects of living with abuse, for being the kid of someone known for substance abuse and violent outburts due to untreated mental illness. It still would have been much worse to grow up with all that AND have to deal with racism on top of it.

      I have a mixed-race cousin who grew up in very similar circumstances to me (and you – her mother was a coke addict). I only have to look at the differences in the ways our lives turned out to see the effects of white privilege.

      Can you really, honestly, say that your life would not have been any more difficult if you had not been white?

    • cheep cheep

      It’s basically prejudice, but they’ll never want to admit to it. ‘Your life wasn’t as bad as it could be because you’re white.’ Judging by skin colour. But that’s not racist? No because slamming whiteness is totally OK.
      I think the best thing to do is ignore them. Sorry your life was hard :(

    • Amber

      It’s ok, it doesn’t bother me. She’s just an ignorant douchebag who sees abused children as “privileged.” She can’t help it. It must be difficult to be that stupid.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      You don’t understand the nature of privilege at all. Almost everyone has some sort of privilege. White, first world, male (for males, obv) etc etc. You can grow up poor and abused (lord knows I was) and still have white privilege.

    • pixie

      I’m not denying my white privilege in North American/Western European culture; I realize my skin colour made a lot of things easier for me growing up and still makes certain things easy. Unfortunately, over the past couple years I’ve found it increasingly difficult to find a summer job, even in fast food restaurants, whereas many of my minority friends acquire summer jobs quite easily. Perhaps they’re just a good fit for whatever job they happen to apply to, but I have noticed fewer and fewer white people being hired, especially in jobs like firefighting, police, and paramedics and the ones that are are mostly women. It could be a different story in other places, but this is something I’ve noticed where I live over the past few years (the CBC also recently got in trouble for a job posting that specifically stated white people couldn’t apply). In my area it seems as if companies are trying to not offend anyone and hire anyone but white people instead of the correct person for that job. Such as, if someone works in customer service, it’s probably a good idea for them to be fluent in English (or French, depending on the province); whether or not they have an accent doesn’t matter, MOST people can work around that (except the overly bigoted), and I’m forgiving of a few wording/phrasing mistakes (I’m trying to learn French and I’m horrid at it still), but if continual mistakes are made, especially if they cost the customer money, then perhaps the individual should not work in customer service (for me this also applies to anyone living somewhere their native language isn’t spoken; learn the local language). I’m not uncomfortable living in a multicultural community, I grew up outside of Toronto and was exposed to multiculturalism from a very young age, I’m just a wishful dreamer that hopes some day race will no longer be an issue and employers will hire the correct people for the job and everyone will get free university and the colour of peoples’ skin can be left out of things. The first thing I notice about someone isn’t the colour of their skin, but their body language and facial expressions, and even then I try to get to know them first before making a judgement. *sigh*

    • Blueathena623

      In this case I think you might want to see if you can find any data on recent hiring practices (I have no idea if such data exists) to see if your observations accurately describe what is happening. I’m not saying this to be mean, only that it might be a coincidence or observational bias.
      In terms of the summer jobs, it could be that because you are white employers assume that you can get a better job so they don’t need to hire you OR that if they do hire you you’ll find something better and quit sooner. As for the other jobs, I don’t know what the pay is like, but in the U.S., those jobs aren’t that greatly paid. Also, you say fewer white people are being hired — are they applying at the same rates as before, or are fewer white people applying?

    • pixie

      Don’t worry, I’m not offended at all! I understand where you’re coming from. I have been told by a potential employer before that, basically, I’m too white and they were looking for “a more diverse working team” (I have a very unusual name, so while it’s a Welsh name, people don’t usually expect a white girl when meeting me). On the other hand, I’ve also been told I wouldn’t want to work somewhere because I’m a girl. The former premiere of my province also made it a huge thing to basically guarantee immigrants jobs (all colours of immigrants, but the majority aren’t coming from Europe anymore). Most summer jobs where I spend my summers are minimum wage and it’s really hard to find anything that’s not. Minimum wage is currently sitting at $10.25-10.50/hour, which is fairly decent.
      In terms of rates of applying, this is just what I’ve seen and heard in my hometown, but although the town has tripled in a fairly short time, it’s still relatively WASP-y, just with way more families rather than elderly people. I help out at my old high school and have a fairly good rapport with the kids there. Starting in march, they all start talking about summer jobs. I’ve noticed the trend over the past couple years that the minorities get hired first and it takes months for the white kids to get jobs, if at all. It also doesn’t help that there are fewer jobs out there and those that were typically filled up by students are being held by an older generation (they have to work too, I get that) of minorities who mostly don’t live in town (I’m genuinely interested in people, and like to make small-talk if they’re not busy; I also eat fast food way too often). Maybe if I went somewhere else, I would notice other things, but this is what I’ve observed here. I wish I had some sort of data to look at, instead of sounding like a crazy conspiracy theorist, even if said data proved me wrong. Maybe I’ve just been incredibly unlucky in being able to find summer jobs and with more and more companies insisting uploading resumes to their websites, and perhaps my resume is sub-par compared to others’.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      Oppressions are intersecting and connected. Class privilege is certainly real; however, a person of colour with the same socio-economic status as you is going to face greater oppressions in a society that values whiteness.

    • Allen

      Saying that you have white privilege isn’t the same thing as saying that your life was easy. Anyone can have a difficult life for any number of reasons, and there are people who aren’t white who have easier lives than some white people. But you still have white privilege that they don’t have. Privilege in this sense means that society favors you in that particular area, not that your life is easy as a whole. Regardless of whatever else you have to worry about, you don’t have to seriously worry about racial bias or discrimination.

    • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

      That would be a personal assumption, rather than the general one made in the book’s title. Someone telling you that life must be a breeze for you because you’re white is patronizing; someone telling the white RACE that life is a breeze for them is, comparably, the hella truth.

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      …I don’t know about you, but as a member of a privileged race who has never experienced any meaningful racism (Lack of opportunities due to race, assumed criminality due to race), I can laugh at myself.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      amen

    • Blueathena623

      Well gee, I consider us white folks pretty lucky if the worst thing hurled against us is being snotty over diapers and cookies.

    • CMJ

      Right? I get that this is racist (and by racist I mean calling out a race specifically in the title) but if getting made fun of for ranting about serious first world problems is the worst racism you have to endure, I think you have it pretty good.

    • Cee

      White Whine

    • Rachel Sea

      No other race is privileged enough for this to ring true.

    • Iman Okiagu

      Sorry my friend. Unfortunately many of the readers here do not have the geopolitical understanding that “first world white privilege” does not only mean “white America”. Like it or not folks the first world, I hate this term btw, is mostly comprised of people of Caucasian descent while the third world is heavily comprised of those who are not. Yes while your life may be hell here just the ability to post or even voice your struggles is a vast improvement over much of the third world. I do not believe that first world white people should be made to feel for a past that they personally had no part in, I do believe they shod understand that there are privileges associated with race AND class. Having a bad childhood is horrible, having to endure this and being relegated to poverty because of your skin color is worse. Again this is all within a worldwide view not just in America.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      It is a pun on white wine. You know, like chardonnay, and the assumption that first world problems often come from white people. From what I’ve read about the actual site, they have posts from people of all sorts. I’m white and I saw nothing insulting in this at all.

    • Sara610

      I didn’t read this as a racial dig, either–I immediately thought of the pun on “white wine”. *shrug*

  • Meg

    I am sort of confused as to why it is called white whining. I have never heard of this term. To me the people just seem to be massive snobs.

    • chickadee

      He has a site called White Whine where he features tweets and social media posts by horribly overprivileged and usually white young adults. It’s pretty funny.

    • Courtney Lynn

      Because a large majority of those making comments and posts like the ones shown in the article are made by privileged white people. I know some like this, unfortunately.

  • Angela

    These examples are obviously so obnoxious that I have nothing to say about them. However, I think it’s equally obnoxious to assume that every parent who uses organic diapers or insists on healthy food for their kids are raising entitled brats. I think the super obnoxious parents are perhaps the most vocal, but they’re the exception rather than the rule.

    • Roberta

      It’s not the idea of using organic or healthy stuff. It is how anything less than the “best” is not worthy of their child. They very first post talked about how the parent wants their daughter to never settle for less than the best. For cookies. Her child will be the poster kid for entitlement if this continues.

    • Angela

      Agreed. The examples were unreal. But to me the rest of the article seemed to be slamming any parent who has daycare concerns, buys premium products, etc. but maybe that was just my take.

    • Blueathena623

      I think the first paragraph says it all — kids don’t understand the value of the organic diaper (I.e. they aren’t spoiled by it) but might notice the smug look on the parent’s face. Obviously, no baby is really going to notice that, but the author is pretty clearly stating that its way more about the attitude than the items. And there is a difference between daycare concerns and bitching about day care with a follow up example about generic cookies.

    • Angela

      My response is probably biased by the fact that I am frequently mocked by my family for some of these things. For example, I found that the generic diapers leaked and gave my baby a rash so I would only buy Pampers (don’t have the money for the biodegradable organic kind or I might have got them). I also talked to both my mom and daycare provider about cutting back on the amount of sweetened drinks they offer my son and I do purchase a brand of organic juice that contains less sugar. I try to avoid feeding my kids a lot of processed foods and do buy organic when I can. But I get a lot of flak over these things and my family takes it as a sign that I think we’re better than they are. I don’t though and I certainly don’t make a big deal of it. I’m just trying to make healthy choices for my kids.

    • Véronique Houde

      I see a huge difference here though – you made the decisions based on your child’s reactions to certain products, and you are making more healthy choices because it’s a value – not because you want what’s best. For you, it doesn’t seem to be about being better than others and only getting the most expensive shit to gather your child’s shit. That’s a huge distinction to make!!

    • Tinyfaeri

      There’s a difference between asking your daycare not to give your child cookies because you don’t want them eating that much sugar, and bitching about giving your child store brand cookies instead of name brand cookies. And there’s a difference between using a brand of diapers that works for your baby (for mine, Luvs is the only one that doesn’t leak for daytime use, but Huggies overnight’s are the only overnight diaper that work for her) and berating others for their diapering choice or bragging about yours. I doubt that you’re bragging about your Pampers. From what you wrote, your family is being unfair, but the above examples deserve some of the ridicule they get.

    • Angela

      Hell yeah I brag about my Pampers! I name drop it into about every conversation I can. And if I really want to impress you I’ll flash you a glimpse into my fully stocked diaper bag!

    • Tinyfaeri

      tee hee

    • goofyjj

      word

    • Blueathena623

      Well, for what its worth, I don’t think any of your examples fall into “white whine”. I’m sorry your family is making you feel that way.

    • Courtney Lynn

      You buy Pampers because that’s what works for your baby and you care about your kid getting fed well. That’s great. I do the same thing. I don’t let my kid eat a lot of junk (just a cookie or brownie once in a while or something like that) and I make the majority of his meals. I get flak from my family about that, too because “it won’t HURT him” and “let him be a kid”. I also exclusively breastfeed my baby daughter because 1) it’s the best (nothing wrong with formula, though) and 2) formula is too damn expensive and we’re on a budget. There’s nothing wrong with believing you are doing the best for your kid to the best of your ability. The problem is when you look down on others as the above examples do. It doesn’t sound like you do that, though and it sounds like your family needs to chill and let you be the mom.

    • Rachel Sea

      It’s slamming people who think buying off-brand is bad parenting.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      I didn’t get that impression at all.

    • EX

      I get what you’re saying. This sentence threw me: “parents who bitch about the quality of the day care center or the sweetness of the apple juice…” When I read that I was like, hey! I do that! But then I read the rest of the article and the examples and I realize he’s not making fun of parents who care about their child’s health (avoiding sugary drinks) or safety (making sure the quality of ther daycare is good) but parents who have this attitude of wanting “the best” (or most expensive) stuff for their kids so that they can show off. But that sentence is misleading.

    • goofyjj

      to me it read that the whiners think the quality of the day care is in direct correlation to the type of cookies they serve.

      You would think the parents would care more about if the people running the place were kind, fair, and compassionate. To me, that’s a measure of “the best”

    • Guest

      Seriously? You REALLY can’t see it? I think that says more about you than the article, then.

  • NYBondLady

    White people are the worst!

  • Blueathena623

    Love it. Although I hope my kids do get to visit Belize and PR and a ton of other places. My husband and I are cheap tight wads because we love travel. Not sure if many hostels are kid friendly, but we will find a way.

    • Tinyfaeri

      The real question is: will you humble brag about it on Facebook? (I’m gonna guess “no”) It’s great to travel, be happy about it, excited, etc. The example above is just obnoxious.

    • Blueathena623

      Hmm, I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but I am realizing that my above comment is obnoxious as well. Typically I just post an album of pictures, but watch me manage to do that in an annoying way as well.

    • Tinyfaeri

      See, I don’t think your comment is obnoxious. It’s not all “poor me, my family can’t agree on Beliz or Puerto Rico, but don’t worry we finally agreed on Kauai so all’s well and you can breathe easy now.” There’s talking about a family trip, liking to travel and wanting your kids to see the world…and then there’s such obvious image crafting and blatant humble bragging that it’s nauseating.

    • ChillMama

      Seconded. Not obnoxious at all. Being genuinely excited about something, and showing off how your kids “turned down” vacation spots, are two different things.

      Plus, I don’t know about anybody else, but when I was a kid there was no question of me “turning down” a vacation. It was more a case of, we’re all going to go wherever mom and dad say, and we’re gonna be the jolliest set of a**holes this side of the nuthouse, dammit!

    • Tinyfaeri

      LOL! Yup. I don’t think it ever even occurred to me to object to where we were going – if it had, I doubt the reaction from my parents would have been pretty.

    • Blueathena623

      I effing love you. Perfect reference. My family is the Griswolds.

    • ChillMama

      Yay, a fellow Griswold!!

    • Blueathena623

      Although I have to say this — I spent the first 10 yrs of my life in Germany because my dad was military. With so many countries so close, we traveled a lot. At the time I mostly loved it, and looking back I know how incredibly lucky I was to get that exposure, but — here is my mini white whine — in a journal I kept in 4th grade I wrote something along the lines of “I am so mad! I want to go to Heidi’s sleepover this weekend, but we are going to Paris again! I am tired of going to Paris!”

    • Emmali Lucia

      I went to Paris when I was 13, I was only there for about four days and I am forever tired of going to Paris..

    • goofyjj

      well that sounds a lot different. you were a kid and wanted to go to a friend’s. It sounds like a little bit of a whine but just a typical kid whine and not anything serious.

    • Véronique Houde

      dude you don’t have a braggy bone in your body… Don’t try pretending otherwise!!!

    • Blueathena623

      BRB, going to Facebook to humble brag about how I have no braggy bones ;)

    • Rachel Sea

      Youth hostels are plenty kid friendly, as long as you are cool with your kids maybe learning swears in multiple foreign languages.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Swearing in multiple languages is a valuable skill!

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      VERY valuable. And fun!

    • Blueathena623

      Learning to swear is part of the fun!
      Seriously though, that’s one of my rules. Know what is offensive, so you don’t do it. Be able to say yes, no, please and thank you. Know the word/signs for toilet. Know how to locate a grocery store. If you can do all of those, you can travel almost anywhere.

    • Emmali Lucia

      Or having wild hook-ups with German boys at the ripe old age of 13…

      I mean, what? I didn’t get drunk in Germany then “Fall in love for a night,” I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  • Janok Place

    I’m sorry, I was under the impression racism was wrong. My bad, totally fine to be a stereotyping bigot as long as its directed at caucasians. Because only white kids are entitled snobs. I don’t care if it’s meant as “humor” it’s derogatory and it isn’t funny. Making fun of people for their skin color is a load of crap and I’m ashamed this site would find it acceptable. Yes, these people are obnoxious. And so are you.

    • Cee

      White Whine..

    • Rachel Sea

      Making fun of (usually white) privilege is not racism.

    • Copperkroewe

      This article wasnt about privilege of any particular race, seriously do you think white parents are the only ones that strive to “give their kids the best of everything?” this is definitely a racist article. I’m so sick of people thinking that if you are talking about white people it just can’t be racism cause only white people are racist

    • Janok Place

      Absolutely it is. Attaching a derogatory stereo type to any race is racism. I can laugh at myself easily enough but to say the majority of stuck up parents are white is entirely false. There are poor and rich people of every denomination. There are rich and poor sanctimommies of every race and religion. My heritage is Native American, French and Scottish. Don’t assume I say this as a white person. I say this as a person who takes issue with racism on any level. Make fun of privelage all you want but leave skin color out of it.

    • Suni

      I totally agree.

    • Beth

      Janok, I am glad you spoke up. Of course it is funny and we can all share a chuckle about the sanctimommies. We all have senses of humor and can appreciate a comedic, funny piece of writing. But there is something about Mommyish reposting this that doesn’t feel right, with all the work they do to educate us and bring racism issues to light, that made me feel confused and sad. And I am not sure what the word for this is…but like I heard a speaker say something really bad, and I am looking around at everyone else in the room thinking “did anyone else hear that? That wasn’t good or right.” None of this feels good to me or positive. I just don’t think it’s moving us forward.

    • Cheep cheep

      Thank you, I’m glad someone understands the meaning of racism.

    • CMJ
    • alice

      http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/08/racist-against-white-people/

      You should read this when you get a chance.

  • Tinyfaeri

    I keep forgetting that bragging about diapers is a thing. Then I’m reminded, and get sad.

  • anonyguest

    I’m confused about the diaper one. It says you use less diapers if you buy fancier diapers? But aren’t you supposed to change diapers whenever they become soiled, regardless of type? Do fancy diapers make your baby urinate and defecate less often?

    • Kim

      That one had me a tad confused too. Maybe you don’t mind sitting in a pile of your own shit if there is a nice little cartoon character holding the shit?

    • aliceblue

      I’m thinking that the woman has her head so far up her ass that she confused diapers with TP. (Must confess that I’d eat day-old generic before I’d use 1-lpy :) 0

    • Courtney Lynn

      Some people, because I know some like this, think that the more expensive diapers offer better absorption and that you don’t need to change them as often. This is complete bullshit for several reasons, one being that you have to change a soiled diaper no matter what because they WILL get diaper rash regardless and the other being that those Pampers with the blue indicator either turn blue at the drop of a hat OR they don’t at all when the kid shits himself and they wind up sitting in poop anyway. I say if you need a stripe to tell you to change your kid, you need to learn to live without one and really learn how to tell when a diaper is full. How much you spend on a shit catcher has nothing to do with it.

  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    I laughed so hard I almost shat myself in my horribly cheap, Target brand under-roos. The White Whiners would be appalled.

    • Courtney Lynn

      I love the Target wipes, though!

  • Manama

    Wow mommy ish way to promote racism on your site. I guess all us white folks is complain while fiddling away on our expensive Mac computers and partaking in our various indulgent rich people hobbies. I’m really surprised this article was allowed to be posted. If it was said about any other race you’d have hundreds of comments about racism and how terrible it is.

  • Sara610

    I just threw up all over myself reading this. But it’s okay, I was wearing a $95 name-brand T-shirt. I wouldn’t want my kids to think that it’s okay to settle for less than the best to vomit all over when you’re confronted by idiocy on this scale. I mean, really–priorities, people! If you can’t afford a $95 T-shirt to throw up on, you shouldn’t have laid on your back.
    (In other news–I didn’t realize that “laid on your back” was a euphamism for whoring around. I slept on my back last night, and now I’m seriously worried that I got pregnant from all that slutty, slutty back-laying. Serves me right for being such a whore.)

    • aliceblue

      I hope that you had eaten name brand food (preferably organic) before throwing up; I get so offended by generic vomit.

  • http://www.whatwouldshethink.com/ Rachelle

    I can totally laugh at myself, but I did feel a little awkward when I read this (and then realized it was a plug for a book on top of it all). Sadly, I’m not sure how to describe why it feels weird…

  • CW

    Why are you dragging race/ethnicity into this? These whines are a class thing, and there are yuppies of ALL races and ethnicities. “White” and “affluent” are not synonyms…

  • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

    Name Brand Snack Lady needs to stop using Comic Sans before she can be judgmental about other people’s taste.

    • Blueathena623

      Right? Stupid comic sans. You are an adult. Pick a grown up font!

    • ChillMama

      I love Comic Sans :( I use it all the time because it makes me happy. Wah-waaah.

    • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

      Boo-urns!

    • Courtney Lynn

      She would hate my pantry. Store brand on nearly everything.

  • Momma425

    I hate it when my daughter is served the GENERIC brand of oreos at her teddy bear picnics!
    If you can’t afford the right oreos and the most expensive diapers and summer vacations to the Caribbean every year, why have kids at all? Ugh, priorities people!

  • chickadee

    White Defenders unite! Meeting at the KKKlubhouse, guys!

    Seriously, though, these are actual posts made by actual spoiled white privileged people. How is it racist to call people out on First World Problem whining?

    • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

      I guess because of the “white” part.

      I’m not offended by it myself, but I don’t care for racial stereotyping; coming from an actually prejudiced (not reverse racism whine, but setting brown people’s houses on fire hate) community, I’m very sensitive to it.

      Buut. I am more offended by the crazy privileged folks up there than I am any arguable racism.

      This is being written while on Valium btw, so please do ignore any nonsense.

    • chickadee

      Hee! Valium is awesome. But yeah, I live in the south where the mentality is ‘oh, someone stole your umbrella? It was probably the black housekeeper. Let’s fire her.’ You can also insert basically any minority name in there for black, too.

      And the White Whine site has posts where kids complain that they have to drive dad’s BMW because the Porsche is in the shop.

    • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

      Yeah, same here, only everyone was equally poor and most whites felt scorned to be in the same squalor as the few (single digit) number of blacks in town. The reason racism is so prevalent among the lower class (of any race towards any other race, but especially with white offenders) is the need to feel superior to someone in some way. When all they have is their racial privilege, that’s what they cling to.

      TALKTALKTALKyesvaliumisawesome. I had an IV drip not too long ago and feeling all loosey goosey. That may be why I’m not offended by the white priv thing. idk, maybe because it’s not inclusive towards bratty people of other races? Are they there as well?

      I get too angry at Rich People Problems to check right now.

    • chickadee

      It does, actually, have people of other races. It’s just that usually they’re white because he posts complaints that drip with PRIVILEGE.

      I take Valium before going to the dentist, because tooth procedures creep me out.

    • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

      SAME HERE. Dentists are the worst, quite actually.

    • Blueathena623

      On the one hand, I get it. No one likes being “picked on” so to speak, so the knee jerk reaction is “stereotype about skin, oh no! I’m hurt!”

      But after you’ve felt that mosquito bite of “racism”, take a deep breath. Try listening to what other people are saying. I myself have some concept of white privilege, but I’m sure I’m barely even scratching the surface cause, ya know, I’m white and I don’t see everything. There are all types of privileges.

      Although one type of white privilege might be that posts that are “racist” against white people tend to get tons more comments than posts that cover racism towards all those people of a different color. Cause white people being jokingly associated with being snobby? Now that just cannot stand!

  • bgk

    As a former childcare director, the cookie thing is hilarious to me. We bought off-brand cookies for the kiddos (when they had cookies, which was rare) because, unlike MOST name brands, THEY DIDN’T HAVE HFCS IN THEM (same went for Pop Tarts for breakfast snack at camp). Yeah, weird, right? A lot of times the cheap stuff is better for you than the expensive junk. Read labels, people. Goodness knows I had to. :P It was all about overall nutritional value, NOT if it was generic or not.

    Also LOL’ing at people who don’t understand the concept of white privilege. It doesn’t mean YOU PERSONALLY HAVE LIVED A CHARMED LIFE. It means the color of your skin gives you a certain level of privilege within society…examples include: you can shop in a store w/out security following you; you are probably able to talk your way out of a speeding ticket and even if you can’t, you don’t know the fear a minority feels when getting pulled over; if your kid is hurt or kidnapped, in all likelihood it will make the evening news (maybe even national); if you’re poor, people assume it’s a temporary issue & DON’T assume you were born poor, on welfare and are somehow “abusing” the system. And the list goes on and on and on.

    I’m white & we barely scrape by but I am fully cognizant of my privilege. In western society, white people have a leg up on everyone else just by virtue of being white AS A COLLECTIVE, not necessarily as an individual. So calm the hell down. No one is saying your life might not suck. If you think it does, then it does. But just know it would PROBABLY suck a lot more if you weren’t white. Not a hard concept to grasp. (& if it IS hard for you to grasp, go take a sociology course & educate yourself.)

    • once upon a time

      *slow clap*

    • Blueathena623

      Here’s what my white-self feels like is the most important part of white privilege:
      With negative stereotypes against white skin color (such as being snobby), if a white person says “no, I’m not like that” most people will give them the benefit of the doubt.
      With negative stereotypes against other skin colors (I’m not even going to go into all of them), if a person with that color skin says “no, I’m not like that” many people think “yeah, right”.

      And keep in mind that white privilege is different from wealth privilege.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      THANK YOU. I really don’t understand why it’s such a hard concept.

  • Courtney Lynn

    The last one sent me into a fit of rage. I use generic most of the time. Why? #1, my kid SHITS in them! #2, We’re on a budget and I’m more concerned about the quality of food going into his body than I am what is coming out of it (again, shit). I hate this mentality so much.

  • Roberta

    Out of curiosity, have you (those who have complained of the racism) actually looked on the site? The posts are not all white people showing their privilege. And entitlement. They are first world people, of all races, religions, genders, and regions who are showing their entitlement and lack of perspective. I am assuming you did not fine the “white wine=white whine” pun funny, in which case, we will have to agree to disagree on that.

    Yes, there are a few that make fun of white people. But as a white person, who needs my own privilege checked on occasion, I think that the outrage does not match the insult.

    I will wait here for the barrage of people telling me that the site is indeed racist. Anyone want an organic cookie?

    • Shea

      Yeah, I’ve always thought that “first world problems” was a better term than “white whine”, but I guess the former lacks the alliteration and amusing pun of the latter.