• Sun, Sep 29 2013

Way To Ruin A Good Food Blog, ’300 Sandwiches’ Creator

g4i5g8qsohjzkigb1xdcWho doesn’t like a sandwich? Sandwiches are delicious. I regularly paid an obscene amount of money at the Brooklyn Flea for what was basically a grilled ham and cheese. Sandwiches make people happy. Stephanie Smith‘s blog, 300 Sandwiches, probably would have made me happy. Unfortunately I can read – so it just pisses me off.

What is with people always needing to ruin sandwiches for feminists? Some knuckle-dragging Neanderthals occasionally make the thought of a sandwich annoying with their whole, “Go make me a sandwich” bit. Maybe you’ve heard it? It’s like the go-to insult for men who don’t know how to handle strong women, Yeah, Yeah – Shut up and make me a sandwich. So clever. Ms. Smith has joined the Neanderthals in attempting to ruin sandwiches for all self-respecting women of the world. Why can’t her blog just be about delicious sandwiches, instead of started on the premise that making her boyfriend 300 sandwiches would magically “earn” her an engagement ring?

Sandwiches meant more to him than nice gifts, regular sex or any other incentive I could use to get him closer to putting a ring on it. I’m not sure how 300 became the magic number. Perhaps because it would take me about a year to make that many sandwiches, if I produced one Monday through Friday. That seemed like a long enough time in the future to seem far way. It also seemed like a lofty enough goal,  out of easy reach,  to set without complete confidence that I would accomplish it.

I hate the phrase “getting him closer to putting a ring on it.” I hate thinking of a proposal as a “goal.” I hate that she uses two spaces after every comma that she types. I love sandwiches, just not enough to ignore the gimmick that got her site all this attention.

I realized what it would take to get him to commit after the first time I made him a turkey on whole wheat bread,  with mustard,  lettuce and swiss cheese.

“Honey,  this is the best sandwich ever!” he exclaimed in between bites so rapid in succession,  the sandwich was gone in minutes. And then,  he dropped a bomb me: “You’re, like, 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.”

I’m trying to imagine what would go through my head if a boyfriend said that to me. Probably something like, Give me that delicious sandwich back, you moron. I know, I know – I should just realize this is a gimmick, appreciate the recipes and keep it moving. I just hate the idea that an engagement is something that men avoid at all costs and women have to work to “achieve.”

(photo: Twitter)

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  • Sara610

    If my husband, when we were dating, had told me I was “like, 30 sandwiches away from an engagement right”, I would have laughed my ass off. And then dumped him.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    “You’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.”
    “You’re one more comment away from a solid dumping.”

    You know, if her blog was just about coming up with 300 unique sandwiches with her boyfriend as the grateful guinea pig, then I would find it charming. She gets creative with a culinary niche and makes someone she loves happy, and he enjoys some good food.

    But no, instead the premise (Regardless of how much or little it reflects her reality) is her earning an engagement through sandwiches. I don’t enjoy this.

  • Uh

    um maybe she thought of the idea and they’re just having a bit of fun? Goodness forbid couples have a bit of harmless fun. Maybe less people would be getting divorced if they were more like this couple.

    • whiteroses

      It’s not “harmless”, because she’s trying to “earn” one of the biggest commitments in a human being’s life through sandwiches.
      A lot of couples get divorced because they see marriage as something they have to earn, versus a natural progression of their relationship.

    • G.S.

      “It’s not ‘harmless,’ because she’s trying to ‘earn’ one of the biggest commitments in a human being’s life through sandwiches.”

      I don’t know why, but that cracked me up probably more than it should have. When you put it like that, it really is the most ludicrous thing ever.

    • whiteroses

      It reminds me a lot of the Engagement Chicken thing.
      If you have to (cook, give blow jobs, give backrubs, rub feet, bear children) in order to GET someone to propose to you, what on earth is the point?

    • G.S.

      The “bear children” one creeps the hell out of me. I mean, getting yourself purposely pregnant and using the kid to make him stay? I mean, I get that it’s a fetus and all, but that feels right abusive to me. To both the kid and the guy.

      (A quick note here in that I don’t have anything against unplanned pregnancies that end up in marriages. Just the horribly manipulative ones.)

  • Blueathena623

    “You’re 300 sandwiches away from a ring!”
    “Awesome! You’re about 300 sessions of oral away from getting a ‘yes’!”
    And thus they ate their way to a happy engagement.

    • Psych Student

      Well said!

  • Guest555

    I don’t think I’ve ever made my man a sandwich ever,7 years n not a sandwich seen. We eat sandwiches but its like hey I just ate a sandwich if you want one stuffs all out on the counter . He has two hands he can make his own sandwich and put the stuff away when he’s done.

    • http://anniedeezy.tumblr.com/ Annie

      I’ve made boyfriends sandwiches. Boyfriends, relatives, friends, roommates. But I am, to be fair, a sandwich wizard. It would be cruel to withhold that gift from the world.

    • Snarktopus

      If I’m making myself a sandwich, I’ll go ahead and slap one together for the husband. To be fair, though, he’ll do the same thing for me.

    • Psych Student

      Yes, that kind of reciprecation is what I like. It’s not like you should be keeping score, but knowing that your sweetie cares enough to go back and forth and you both feel like it balances out (again, not I’ve cooked dinner 5 times, now you make me dinner 5 times), but one person cooks, the other does dishes and both people are content with the set-up.

  • Bric-a-Brac

    The idea of feminism is that I get to CHOOSE whether or not I wanna stay home with my child or have a job. Stephanie Smith chose to make him some food, received a complement and took it to heart that her boyfriend liked her cooking so much that she took it upon her self to “earn” a ring. Even if Ms.smith stopped the blog tomorrow, I doubt her boyfriend would become hurt or mad and would probably still pop the question eventually if it was meant to be.The fact that this is an issue is where feminism is failing, she was not forced, against her will to make or do anything. Me and my bf joke a lot and sometimes he makes me food or i’ll make him food and sometimes I even tell him to “make me a sammich” to which he does maybe about half the time and I return the favor. He works at a deli making sandwiches all day and is no more masculine or feminine because of it. Oh and the fact that her grammar annoyed you shows me exactly how petty a person one must be to attack someone else’s relationship while not knowing all the facts or even consider that they might be more light hearted about such issues.

    • Katie L.

      The idea of feminism is that women are men are equals. Choice factors into feminism, of course, but choice isn’t the essence of feminism. Context is also important. With the battles women have fought in equality, the idea that one can “earn” a ring/husband by fixing 300 sandwiches is, at the very least, annoying to many women.

      Personally, I think this woman is angling for a book deal with a cutesy premise, but that doesn’t take away the fact that it reinforces stereotypes. No one should be saying Ms. Smith and her boyfriend can’t live their lives this way, but it doesn’t mean the blog shouldn’t be questioned and critiqued.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      So what does equality actually entail? To me its the freedom to choose as I please as long as I don’t harm anyone and be respected on that choice.

      Shes not being respected on her choice to make 300 sandwiches and isn’t being critiqued, shes being judged. No one is forcing her to do anything, not her BF, not the government, not god, and I’m astonished that I’m living 2013 and people still judge under the vale of criticism. Maybe if we didn’t judge and critique a person to death, there wouldn’t be stereotypes in the first place.

    • Katie L.

      Equality is being equal in status, rights and opportunities. Equality isn’t simply “choose your choice”. You can do whatever you want but your choices don’t exist in a vacuum. Context, history and consequences must be taken into account. Historically, women’s “choices” were limited to domestic areas and the stereotype that women are all desperate for a man is still pervasive today. You can’t pretend that “300 sandwiches = engagement ring” isn’t going to raise some eyebrows.

      Do I think Ms. Smith is making some kind of intentional anti-feminist statement? No. I think her boyfriend made an off the cuff remark (that was rooted in the internalized sexism of our culture) and she ran with it. However, I find idea that she’s being “judged and critiqued to death” because she made the deliberate decision to reveal her identity laughable. She’s clearly hoping for a book deal and she stands a good chance to get one because of all the internet controversy it’s created.

      Having read your other comments, I do not think I’m going to change your mind with my response. You are entitled to you opinion, but please understand that those of us who have problems with this concept are not picking on her. We see legitimate issues and are giving valid criticism, even if you don’t see it that way.

    • Simone

      And the first paragraph of Katie L.’s comment sums up the entire core of the distaste most readers are feeling for the blog.

      Choices don’t exist in a vacuum, and context is a part of any evaluation. Given that for a very long time, women had no other choice but to make endless sandwiches in order to demonstrate that they were ‘wife material’, playing around with it now is going to piss people (women) off, and rightly so.

      ‘Wife material’. Gingham? Leather?

    • whiteroses

      Um… no. Feminism is about mutual respect and equality.
      I am an equal partner in my relationship with my husband. Therefore, I didn’t have to “earn” my engagement ring. It was given to me freely, without me begging for it or making several hundred sandwiches. If she was just making sandwiches to make them (as previous comments have stated) then that’s pretty cool, and I’d probably enjoy the blog. As it is, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, no pun intended. It’s not humorous or funny to me that in 2013, we still have women who are so desperate to get married that they’ll make hundreds of sandwiches in the hope that their boyfriend might propose.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      I think feminism is choice at its very core. I can choose to do anything a man can, then I have equality. If I can choose equally as a man then he has to respect that choice.

      Earn as in the sense that we have been through enough and done enough for and with each other to take that next step in the relationship and not have it collapse because of an unsteady rushed foundation.

    • whiteroses

      She’s not doing that. If she truly felt she’d “done enough”, then an arbitrary goal wouldn’t make a single bit of difference. She would have told him to go screw off with his 300 sandwiches and we wouldn’t be having this debate.
      Instead, she opted to take him seriously. Does she expect that once he finishes eating sandwich 300, he’ll immediately get down on one knee? She felt she had to prove she was “wife material”. If that’s not antifeminist, I don’t know what is.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Wrong, they are trying to build more of a relationship first with a goal of marriage. Maybe the BF is even more traditional then her and wants to wait? Just cause you would say screw off doesn’t mean that in her case she doesn’t consider it a challenge to make 300 sandwiches when before this she couldn’t even cook according to her.

      “Making all of these sammies, I’ve learned how much Eric loves sharing cooking with me. He enjoys going to the grocery store with me, picking out ingredients and planning dinners. Though I still want to get engaged and get married and live happily ever after, I’ve also put less pressure on the race to the 300th sandwich and I’m enjoying the cooking experience with Eric.”

      There it is, growth, appreciation, time, commitment, and even the admission that marriage isn’t all there is, but a natural progression of their loving relationship.

    • whiteroses

      So, by your definition, a loving relationship is one where one partner says to the other: “You’ve been home for 15 minutes, why haven’t you started dinner yet”?

      A loving relationship is one in which one person gives the other an arbitrary guideline that makes no sense whatsoever? An engagement isn’t an achievement to reach, any more than having kids is. It’s a major, life-altering decision. One which can’t and shouldn’t be made based on the amount of sandwiches one person can churn out. And you can talk all you want about judgement- but she’s a journalist. You can’t tell me she didn’t know what she was doing.

      Wow. You keep on keepin on.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      For a couple, or at least me, it is a decision but it is also an achivement, that I’ve come so far with them. Life is about the arbitrary yellow line in the road we choose not to cross, or maybe goal setting is above your head. Also that line about the 15 mins could be very easily said in jest.

    • whiteroses

      For me- an achievement is writing a book. It’s publishing an article or getting a raise. An achievement is not a natural life progression.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      So everyone gets married, has kids, the whole nine yards? An achievement is a goal you have in mind in life aka subjective, for some it’s writing a book, others it’s to make 300 sandwiches or get married. That’s why we celebrate those events, book launches, weddings, baby showers. All are achievements, maybe not to you but life is subjective. Which has been the point all along. Your not her, so as the saying goes “you can’t judge anyone till you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”.

    • whiteroses

      Not everyone chooses to get married or have kids. And yes, an achievement may be subjective. When your definition of achievement is to marry a guy who will only marry you if you make him a ton of food, then fine. If you’re happy living your life knowing that your fiancé only loved you enough to propose after he ate his weight in sandwiches you made, then by all means, go on.

      But if you want privacy, then you should- I don’t know- keep your life private? And if you don’t want to be judged on your life choices, then you shouldn’t publish a blog, publish articles, or go on the Today Show to publicize those choices, especially when (unless you’ve been living under a rock) you know that they may not be well-received.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      He never said he wasn’t going to marry her with out the food, is that a hard thing to understand?

    • whiteroses

      If he never said that, then she wasted a lot of time and energy just to get a book deal.
      Doesn’t make this whole social experiment less stupid, imho.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      See? Smart woman, she might of saw money at the end of a 300 sandwich long rainbow. All I’m trying to say is that she has her reasons that she doesn’t have to validate to the world. It’s not setting us back as a gender, she maybe just wants some money.

    • whiteroses

      It might not be about setting us back as a gender. But the fact remains that the phrase “go make me a sandwich” has come to have negative connotations in our culture- for women- and she’s done absolutely nothing to change or alter that. She has, in fact, given all the men’s right’s activists out there an excuse to say, “See? OTHER women do this!”

      So yeah, it’s damaging. And she won’t be getting a single nickel of my money.

    • lycalion

      Hilarious that you go from “stop judging!” to “she’s just a clever gold digger”. Your perception of feminism is kinda laughable. But I will agree that if her goal in marriage is to get his money, and his is to get an obedient sandwich slave, then they deserve each other and the wonderful money-sandwich themed wedding that will surely follow.

    • lycalion

      Yeah, those are the kind of “jokes” emotionally abusive (or at the very least, just shitty) people use all the time.

    • Andrea

      Yeah a natural progression shouldn’t have qualifiers on it. He said: you have to do “x” and I’ll marry you. Fuck that. I will live my life and I will have my own goals. He can choose to be part of that or not. I am not about to let someone decide what I need to do in order to get proposed to.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      He never said that he wouldn’t marry her without the sandwiches, now did he? Besides “You’re, like, 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.” sounds a lot like a passing joke/complement rather then him commanding her to make him 300 sandwiches and chaining her to the kitchen.

    • G.S.

      I don’t know. 300 is a pretty big number . . . How good could a sandwich be if you still need 300 of them? I mean, how awesome does a sandwich have to be to get a, “You’re three sandwiches away from an engagement ring”?

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Who knows, maybe he might surprise her on sandwich #240 or something. Maybe they just watched 300 or something and that number was on his mind?

    • lycalion

      That kind of feminism only really works in a thought experiment. The reality is that misogyny, patriarchy, etc exist and exert a great deal of influence over “choices” made by women. Many choices are intrinsically influenced by a society that decidedly does not operate with equality.

    • Sara610

      Very well said!

    • Andrea

      WTF earn a ring!

      A ring isn’t EARNED!! I don’t have to “work” my way to an engagement or a wedding. He either loves me and he proposes or he fucking doesn’t. I am not gonna be earning his commitment. Fuck that.

      PS: assuming marriage is what I want, because that’s not what everyone wants anyways.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      So love isn’t work? Take a couple who don’t do for each other and what do you have? Just two people. It’s on both parts, plus did she say what her BF does to earn her adoration? He could be doing 300 days of choirs to earn a yes. Love is time plus effort.

      P.S. choice….. it is her choice to marry or not. She can dump him, say screw it to the 300 blog and carry on with her life.

    • whiteroses

      http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/09/25/just_300_sandwiches_for_an_engagement_ring_stephanie_smith_s_300_sandwiches.html

      http://nypost.com/2013/09/24/i-wooed-my-man-with-a-sandwich/

      Here’s a gem from the second article: “I paused. … Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material. If he wanted 300 sandwiches, I’d give him 300 sandwiches — and I’d blog about it.”

      Yes. She’s a feminist hero!!!

    • Bric-a-Brac

      She’s not a hero by any means, and I never said that. She called her self an old-fashioned, she wants what she wants. I just have a problem with people stringing her up in the name of feminism and criticism when really it’s her own damn business how she wants to run her love life. If Ms. Smith wants to make 300 sandwiches, who are you to judge her? I really don’t think her BF is going to dump her or never propose if she doesn’t finish if they are truly compatible. BUT once again, not my business.

    • whiteroses

      If you make a public blog, on the Internet, about the fact that you make 300 sandwiches for another human being in the hopes that he will eventually make a lifelong commitment to you… well, you sort of have to expect that people are going to criticize you. And if you’re not ready to open yourself to criticism but make very personal details of your life public, then you must be new to the Internet if you don’t expect that people are going to criticize you.

      This isn’t old-fashioned. This is completely brainless. My grandmother, who once told my mother that she needed to stop what she was doing to make her husband lunch, wouldn’t even try this mess.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      It’s her definition of old-fashioned, you have no idea how she was raised and what she thinks is appropriate. She originally hid who she was, and didn’t wanna deal with the critics. Then everyone was crying “WHO IS THE SAMMIE MASTER” to which she felt the need to answer to.

    • whiteroses

      Only because she WANTED to be in the public eye. I feel no sympathy for her. She could have remained anonymous, had no backlash, and continued on her merry blogging way. She chose not to do that.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      I’m not asking for your sympathy for a woman I don’t even know. I’m asking for this not to be labeled with FEMINISM all over it. She choose, she didn’t choose to get judged.

    • whiteroses

      Again- if she wasn’t expecting judgment, she’s new to the Internet.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Doesn’t mean I have to go along with the lynch mob and cry “THIS POOR DUMB WOMAN, if she could only be strong enough to say fuck you to her man then she’d be happy, she must not know its 2013″ when in reality she is an adult who seems to know what shes doing.

    • whiteroses

      I think this is antifeminist and stupid, frankly. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine, but it’s an opinion I’m entitled to.

      Also- referring to it as a “lynch mob” is offensive. She’s not hanging from a literal or metaphorical tree. She’ll get over this and move on. But the rest of the world is allowed to think it’s dumb if they want to.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Oh yes because this article it self and comments doesn’t show that there’s people who are rallying in a call to wake her up and see the chauvinistic man for who he is, when you don’t even know him.

    • whiteroses

      Do you?
      Is that why you’re pushing so hard on this?

    • Andrea

      And since she made it public, we get to have an opinion on it.

    • Andrea

      She CHOSE to make it public. We CHOOSE to have an opinion.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      You have the right to opinion, just not to the word feminism at large when clearly no one can even state a proper definition.

    • whiteroses

      Equal political, social and economic rights for women is a good definition of feminism.

      Having someone do something so you’ll propose isn’t equality.

    • Andrea

      She wanted to let people know. If she wanted to remain anonymous, she could have. And she didn’t NEED to make a blog. You make a blog, that’s the risk you take. Sorry I don’t buy AT ALL that she wanted to keep her identity hidden. No way.

    • Andrea

      She wants to make 300 sandwiches to earn a ring, that’s on her. I get to judge it because she made it public.

      Any dude that tells me I have to “earn” a ring by giving him 300 sandwiches (or blow jobs or tacos or back rubs or whatever the fuck) gets shown the door. I don’t “earn” someone’s love, he either loves me or he doesn’t. PERIOD. He either wants to marry me or he doesn’t. PERIOD. He doesn’t get to dictate what I need to do to earn it.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      She wasn’t originally public about her identity, only because everyone demanded to know who was the artist behind such recipes did she reveal her self. Once again love is earned, worked on, by BOTH individuals, if you can’t understand that, then I do understand you choice of not wanting to marry.

      Example of him kissing her ass.

      “Our relationship has always centered on food.

      On our second date, he cooked me dinner — tuna tartare and fresh scallops on a tomato compote. More delicious meals, nearly all of them cooked by him, followed, and soon we were dating seriously. The fact that he could make a perfect filet mignon, not just order one in a steakhouse, was a big turn-on.”

      BOTH OF THEM WORK AT IT.

    • whiteroses

      Cooking someone dinner isn’t “kissing their ass”. In most families, it’s an everyday happening.

      Making someone 300 sandwiches so they will finally give you a big, big shiny? That might be.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      That was just an example, maybe, just maybe he gives her a back rub every time she makes a sandwich or something to that effect. How do you know that he’s not using this time (perfect excuse to stall) to get her the ring he thinks she deserves.

    • whiteroses

      Which he could easily do without watching her jump through hoops making him 300 sandwiches.

      She started the blog in June 2012. You’re telling me he couldn’t find a ring she deserved in over a year? Using that logic, he’s mining the stone himself and/or waiting for someone to die so he can get a family heirloom.

    • G.S.

      Forget that, it’s taking so stupid long because he’s looking high and low for a gem cutter that can shape the diamond into a sandwich cut!

    • whiteroses

      Yes!!! The color scale goes from Mayo to Bacon :)

    • G.S.

      With a gold trim around it for a crust! (Or whatever you call the thing that sticks up a bit where you place the diamond. Sorry, I don’t know rings. ): )

    • Bric-a-Brac

      You must be rich, people usually have to save for a ring/wedding. Who knows he might be. Point is you don’t know this couple personally, life is subjective, love is worked at by both, and this has nothing to do with feminism and more to do with personal opinion with a false flag.

    • whiteroses

      Ok. So by your standards, it’s perfectly fine to make your loved one jump through hoops to be with you (completely arbitrary hoops, mind you) while you sit on your butt. Cooking one meal does not equal what he’s perfectly fine with her doing. If a woman was making a man do this, I’d call it misandrist.

      Not a life I’d want to live. She’s making a fool of herself and he’s letting her. That’s not love. It’s sad, really.

    • G.S.

      Okay, this might just be me, but I never quite understood the whole, “the engagement ring must cost three months salary” thing. If I ever got engaged, and the guy was all, “Oh, I had to save up for a whole YEAR to afford it!” I’d be like, “Are you effing kidding me?! That could have went towards a down payment on a house!” And it’s really just a temporary ring until you get married and get a band. Seriously, the guy could have gotten the damn thing out of a cracker jack box just as long as we’re both engaged at the end of the day.

    • whiteroses

      But…but then you won’t get a SHINY!!! And it doesn’t count unless you get a big, sparkly rock!

    • G.S.

      To hell with your SHINY!!! I want a cheaper mortgage! Or at least a really bitchin’ honeymoon . . .

    • whiteroses

      Exactly.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      I agree with that, my bf wants to get married but he needs some grandiose proposal to do so, said and I qoute “You deserve the best and right now I can’t do that, when I propose its gonna be special. While we really don’t have the finances for special. Now though we are just making blind assumptions about two people we don’t know, which is what I’m trying to say is bad. Is there not a non-judgmental person here or do we all go to this site in droves to push our agenda and opinions on others.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Maybe he did mine it by hand, and now he’s cutting it by hand so it’s the perfect shape for the setting he’s making in the forge he made in his basement after his year long apprenticeship with the master jeweller. Hey, it could happen. It’s even slightly more likely than real monkeys flying out of my butt.

    • Chuck

      But, I bet you don’t have a problem with the man kneeling to his knees asking for your hand in marriage? To me, it’s demeaning act! Again, most women don’t have a problem when the men does it, but hell if a woman gets on her knees. Equality at its best!

    • Andrea

      My husband didn’t get down on his knees to propose to me. So you can scratch that right out. And if it is a demeaning act to you, here’s a news flash: DO NOT DO IT.

    • whiteroses

      Yep. My husband didn’t kneel either.

      Funny, we’re still married, Chuck. Fancy that.

    • Chuck

      Fancy what? I’m talking about the proposal act, WTH does that have to with still being married???? Especially, when women are here beating up on this lady? P.s., you too missed the point!

    • whiteroses

      I didn’t, actually. Most men I know- including my husband- didn’t kneel.

      And you can make the argument that men are oppressed when a) men spend centuries being told that they’re the weaker sex and all they’re good for is making babies and b) men are persecuted every day the world over just because of their gender.

    • Chuck

      Totally missed the point! You women are complaining about how this one women set back women equality back, but use your individual marriage proposal to answer the masses. Chivarly expects men to kneel and in most cases they do…you didn’t answer the act, but only your situation. If that the case, then why do care what this woman or her man do?

    • Tinyfaeri

      Personally, I don’t get all the waiting and wishing and wanting crap – if you want to marry the guy, just ask him. I did, and we’ve been married almost 10 years.

      If he’d ever tried to tell me I needed to make him 300 sandwiches to get him to propose, we wouldn’t be where we are today. Sure, love is work, and marriage is sure as hell a lot of work, but it’s not cute or funny to me to have someone dance like a monkey with a little hat on it for approval.

    • whiteroses

      This. So very much this.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Well she her self said she wants a traditional old fashioned marriage. I can agree she should just be direct about it but once again her choice and she shouldn’t be shown as an example of someone who the world thinks the wool has been pulled over her eyes by some controlling man and its up to woman who cry feminism to show her the light.

    • whiteroses

      Oh, I doubt we can show her the light.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      What light to show? Shes fucking happy, why fuck with it?

    • whiteroses

      You make your life public = you’re inviting criticism from strangers.
      Keep your life private= no judgment.
      Pretty simple, as far as I can see.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Opinions are ok, using a genders right movement to prove a point is not. Hate her all you want, just don’t defame the woman’s right movement with your petty shit. It’s no wonder we as women can’t be taken seriously on these issues anymore.

    • whiteroses

      Or maybe the reason women can’t be taken seriously sometimes could be that bribing your boyfriend with food to propose marriage, then going public about it, is considered by some to be a perfectly valid life choice.

      But hey, tomato, to-mah-to.

    • Bric-a-Brac

      Once again, not bribery, never did he say I WILL NEVER MARRY THE WOMAN WHO CANT MAKE ME FOOD!!!

      All your points are invalid.

    • whiteroses

      Because you say so? Because you don’t like them?

      Sorry, that’s not how this works. Even if he didn’t say it straight out, the implication is there.

      Also, gender equality (a cornerstone of feminist principles) is defined as men and women being treated exactly the same. This is not at all what’s happening here. And getting angry at an Internet stranger won’t change that.

    • EX

      I don’t know. To me a compliment would be “this sandwich is amazing. Marry me now!” Or “this sandwich is amazing! You should make 300 more, start a blog and make a bunch of cash!” But “you’re, like, 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring” kind of sounds like an insult to me.

  • G.S.

    I also saw Julie & Julia, Stephanie. That woman was eating crazy crackers, too.

    But I would love to see the last update where it will undoubtedly be all, “So I finally made my final 300th sandwich, and THE BOYFRIEND DIDN’T PROPOSE! He just got all, “What are you talking about? OMG, THAT’S why you were making all those sandwiches?! I was just making a stupid joke! I’m sorry!” And he said he wasn’t going to propose right then and there, because he felt like it was, “too big a commitment right now.” I MADE HIM 300 SANDWICHES, WHAT MORE DOES HE WANT?! AM I NOT PERFECT WIFEY MATERIAL?! So I slashed his car tires and threw all his stuff on the lawn. I’M A FAILURE! ” It’ll be the meltdown for the ages.

    And “You’re 300 really good sandwiches away from an engagement ring,” is essentially him saying, “Yeah, I have no intention of marrying you any time soon whatsoever.” Seriously, he probably figured that it would take YEARS UPON YEARS to be made that many sandwiches. And how good is this sandwich really if he needs 300 more to “seal the deal”, as opposed to say, 5? I mean, I could KIND of get, “Wow, if you keep making me sandwiches like this, I might just have to marry you!” if they were REALLY serious at that point and he was planning on proposing to her on the weekend, or whatever, but this is just tacky. And what if he wants to marry her by the 157th sandwich? Will he hold the proposal back until he’s had that 300th sandwich? Because, you know, that’s TOTALLY not a jerkface thing to do.

    • Chuck

      She could love the problem by proposing to him….oh no, that’s against being a strong woman.

    • G.S.

      Hey, good point, she could do that. Not that she SHOULD because from what I’ve read, the guy sounds like a total asshat, but the point still stands that it’s an option.

      And how would it go against being a strong woman, anyway? If anything, you’d think it would be very assertive for a woman to propose marriage. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with waiting either, but if you’re dead set on marrying someone and believe he returns your feelings, go for it! If he accepts, you still end up married all the same, right?

    • Chuck

      That’s my point, if it make women strong to propose, then there would be more women proposing. But society says it make women look desperate, thus make women weak to propose to men.

    • whiteroses

      I’m not sure where you live- but a lot of women are proposing these days.

    • Chuck

      To men, not women…I know that occurs.

  • Tea

    I don’t mind the comment, my spouse and I say I lot of cheeky things that could sound horrible. I don’t mind the concept, it sounds like it was supposed to be a joke.

    I have a huge issue with how this guy talks to her.
    “Honey… you’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”
    That would earn an elbow in the face.
    He’s called some of them “boring,” “unimaginative,” and “lazy.” and “Because he hated it, he said it only counted for a quarter of a real sandwich.”

    And then I’d be telling my husband to make his own dinner, ramen’s in the pantry, I’m having steak. In short, the guy sounds like a douche, and not like much of a supportive partner.

    • G.S.

      Yup, a straight-up douche canoe this guy. And WTF does he mean, “quarter of a real sandwich”?! What, are the other 3/4′s made out of styrofoam, or something?!

    • Melissa T

      Yes, I agree…I really didn’t get the hoopla, but then I read the blog and wow…he sounds like a controlling jerk, and she sounds eager to find her identity/happiness in being ‘his woman’.

    • Sara610

      Am I the only one who also thinks he looks like he’s already had way too much bad plastic surgery? I dunno, something just seems…….off.

    • Cee

      WTF?! He calls some of them half sandwiches and quarter sandwiches? Looks like someone is dragging his feet to the inevitable.

  • Rachel

    “You’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring”
    “You’re one comment like that away from arsenic poisoning, jerk.”

  • Cee

    Its funny how many people are arguing that this is a joke. If this is, why hasn’t he proposed at any point before this to stop this madness?

    I read some of her blog, it sounds like he’s just stringing her a long and she is so desperate. Like when his mother or grandmother’s china arrived for them and he said that they wont need to add it to a registry and she got excited about him saying registry. :/

  • Leafyleafster

    I read her “about me” section, I read his list of “forbidden foods”; I decided these two deserve each other. Blecch. =P

  • naturesgrrl

    Kinda proves that ole’ saying: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

  • meteor_echo

    If my boyfriend demanded 300 sandwiches for a marriage, I’d make only one. With his leg meat. And eat it riiiight in front of him.
    This shit here is why we can’t have good things.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    • Psych Student

      Can we please, please, please, PLEASE let you win the internet for today?!

  • Simone

    I think the reason why it bothers many commenters here is because it reduces a commitment that is ideally based on mutual trust, respect and affection, to a transaction. Like it or not, it sounds like: You demonstrate that you’re going to fulfil the role of ‘wife’ well by carrying out a strange and gender-stereotyped task, and I will pay you for this task by requesting your hand in marriage’.

    It would be like a woman saying, You prove to me that you’re a good man by chopping down this whole forest in one year’s time with an axe, and then I’ll reward you with my hand in marriage.

    Women don’t sell themselves, or get sold by others, into marriage any more.

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    I’m sure when he said his “you’re like, 300 sandwiches away from a ring” he was joking and they were in the early stages of their relationship so getting engaged wasn’t something he was thinking of seriously. I think people should also stop and think of all the wonderful things he could do for her, that makes her say she wants him to be her husband that she feels this “challenge” is worth it.

    According to her blog he cooks and does so very well and who knows? Maybe he cleans, does laundry and is an overall sweet, great guy.

    If she’s happy and he’s happy then I have no issue.

  • Sara610

    Okay, I’ve spent some time reading this blog, and I have to say that the recipes look really great. The tone and premise are both annoying, but the food and photography are surprisingly awesome.

    HOWEVER……..her boyfriend really seems like a grade-A douchebag. Either she’s doing him a spectacular disservice, or she is putting herself through the wringer for the dubious honor of marrying a contender for the gold medal in the Self-Absorption and Unmerited Self-Importance events of the Terrible Boyfriend Olympics. Seems like she could do a lot better.

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