jackolanternsSanctimommies pop up year round but Halloween is very special time of year  for those looking to wag some parenting fingers. As you’re scrambling to put together this year’s Halloween costume and organize a tick or treating route, you better believe there will be Facebook statuses and online comments about how “evil” Halloween is and how that Halloween candy consumption needs to be put into check. Whether it’s a concern about cavities, “tripping hazards,” or Satanic Worship, you’ll be truly spooked.

But to continue our new favorite Mommyish game, we’ll be pairing authentic comments, message board postings, and social media statuses with ones we just made up.

1. Christian Nation

Halloween glorifies witches and warlocks and as a christian nation, we shouldn’t celebrate it

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

2. No Halloween Parties At School

I do not like Halloween and do not like that they now have Halloween parties at school where if you don’t want your kid participating, you seem like a grinch.

Real or fake:

It’s totally real:

3. Satan’s Night

I taught my children the horrible pagan roots of Satan’s evil night, and not to rejoice in it.

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

4. The Devil’s Birthday

Halloween is bad for Christians because it’s like an evil day, where kids dress up as witches, demons, and other things. It’s like a day to represent the Devil, and he’s evil. Actually, one of my friends said Halloween is the Devil’s birthday, and that’s why they don’t celebrate it either.

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

5. You May Allow Your Children To Be Trapped

Would Jesus participate in Halloween? You may allow your children to be trapped in what they may never get out of for the rest of their lives.

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

6. THINK OF THE CAVITIES

We don’t allow any sugar in our house and Halloween is no exception. One year we let the kids go trick or treating in a specific neighborhood that was only giving out sugar-free candy and dried prunes. We wish more families would think of the cavities. 

Real or fake?

It’s totally fake. I just made that up.

7. Potential Tripping Hazards

My kids are trick-or-treating in full regalia, despite potential tripping hazards. 

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

8. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO PARTICIPATE 

PARENTS DO NOT ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO PARTICIPATE AT ANY HALLOWEEN FESTIVITIES = IT IS SATANIC WORSHIP

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

9. “Halloween” — Allegedly

Say no to Halloween and say yes to Jesus. I propose that on this day prove that you are a true Christian, and fill your FB wall with posts against this practice that is “Halloween.”

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

10. Are You Aware Of Child Obesity

The real poison is the sugar in the candy the kids are getting. Are you aware of child obesity in our state?

Real or fake?

It’s totally real:

11.  Halloween Party With No Scary Costumes Allowed

I don’t get parents who host Halloween parties and invite little kids dressed as vampire and witches. This year, we’re hosting a Halloween party with no scary costumes allowed. Think of the children.

Real or fake?

It’s totally fake. Although, I’m sure such a parent out there exists.

Thanks for playing! And keep a look out for those Halloween sanctimommies!

(photo:  TwisterMc)