• Wed, Sep 25 2013

Real Or Fake: Sanctimommy Arguments For Ruining Halloween

jackolanternsSanctimommies pop up year round but Halloween is very special time of year  for those looking to wag some parenting fingers. As you’re scrambling to put together this year’s Halloween costume and organize a tick or treating route, you better believe there will be Facebook statuses and online comments about how “evil” Halloween is and how that Halloween candy consumption needs to be put into check. Whether it’s a concern about cavities, “tripping hazards,” or Satanic Worship, you’ll be truly spooked.

But to continue our new favorite Mommyish game, we’ll be pairing authentic comments, message board postings, and social media statuses with ones we just made up.

1. Christian Nation

Halloween glorifies witches and warlocks and as a christian nation, we shouldn’t celebrate it

Real or fake?

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  • NicknamesAreDull

    I totally think Jesus would do the whole Halloween thing, and he pretty much has a built in costume, so it would be super easy for him.

    • Paul White

      He could go as a ghost.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      or zombie.

    • Roberta

      Nah, he would totally dress up as a fireman.
      Edited to add: maybe a zombie fireman?

    • NicknamesAreDull

      He can turn water into wine.. he’d be an awful fireman.

    • Rachel Sea

      No way, best fireman ever! “Sorry your house caught fire, here’s 50 gallons of wine.”

    • Miss Isis

      He would also make a great Gandalf the White!

    • NicknamesAreDull

      I was thinking more along the lines of “Sorry I made the fire worse with all the wine… That never happens. Here, have some wine!”

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      He could just keep multiplying all the candy :)

    • LiteBrite

      A friend of mine is not religious at all but was sending her son to a Catholic school. (Long story why that is.) The month before she decided she should probably give her kid a briefing on Jesus just so he wasn’t completely unprepared. She told the whole story to him, complete with how he rose from the dead, and her son looked at her with wide eyes and cried, “Wait! So Jesus was a zombie?!!!!”

      Yeah, you may not want to say that to the nuns, kid.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      After an incident at my daughter’s school, we decided to put her in a private Catholic school. We’re Catholic, but I have always had sense of humor about religion and I joke about it a lot. After my husband and I picked a school, and she was approved for a scholarship, I sat down with her and talked about how sometimes I say things that should never be repeated. My daughter replied “Like ass monkey or worse” Oy. That was a looong day.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      My boyfriend in university dressed up as Jesus for Halloween. Given that he was the ultimate dirty jesus stereotype, he totally nailed it.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      My daughter was Jesus for her first Halloween.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      I was a….well, a hobo. It was the 80s. I wasn’t even a year yet, so I didn’t go out, but my mom stuck me in front of the door with a bag, rang the doorbell then ran to the washroom and made my dad answer it. Apparently it took him longer than it should have to realize it was his own kid. Probably the fact that I appeared to be alone tipped him off.

  • Jaclyn

    Last year I decided to throw a little Halloween party for my daughter, nieces, nephews and a few friends. A total of a half dozen kids, all aged between 2-5. I invited my babysitter (who identifies as a really non-strict Christian) and her son, who was 3 at the time. She informed me that they did not celebrate Halloween because of her religious beliefs. Except that she lets her son dress up and go trick-or-treating every year because that’s the “innocent” part of Halloween. Apparently, I was planning to play “The Exorcist” on loop and teach the toddlers at my party about worshipping Satan.
    I can respect a difference in beliefs… I can’t respect blatant hypocrisy though. Grumble.

    • Ashley

      I have an acquaintance who is the same way. She lets her kids dress up, and takes them to the mall to trick or treat, but then says that she doesn’t like Halloween and doesn’t like encouraging her kids to take candy from strangers. Their still strangers if they are store employees, lady. You don’t know them.

  • TngldBlue

    I get the feeling I could tell Tammy that Christmas is also an evil day and that the Devil has tricked us all into believing it was Jesus’ birthday when really he was born on June 3 and she would start putting up her Christmas decorations in May.

    • Ptownsteveschick

      But don’t put up a tree cuz that is totes Pagan nature worship aka teh evilz (all crappy spelling intentionally mocking the crazy-folk)

  • CMJ

    Who wants to explain to the “christians” the Christian roots of Halloween? Sigh.

    • Erin Murphy

      I nominate that person to also explain the Pagan roots of most Christmas traditions.

    • CMJ

      Or the Bible in general? :)

    • Emmali Lucia

      I’m down like a clown Charley Brown. Get Intro to Shamanism, World Religions 241, and soon I’ll have Anthropology of Religions under my belt. This is my shit, man!

    • Faye

      Oh man, those are some of the most fun classes!! (I am an anthropology student and I LOVE the religion and witchcraft classes. So fascinating.)

  • Jayamama

    We didn’t celebrate Halloween when I was growing up because my mom was uncomfortable with the creepy aspects of the holiday, such as the ghosts, witches, mummies, sorcery, etc. I would do alternative assignments if my teachers had them revolving around the holiday, and it never really bothered me. That evening, we would just go out to eat or find another reason to be out of the house. However, my current church offers an “alternative activity” where kids can still dress up, play games, and earn candy. It’s much safer than door-to-door, and all very positive, so I have no problem letting my daughter dress up to go have fun. It’s all about how comfortable you are. The main point, though, is that I don’t question anyone else’s choice of how (or if) they celebrate.

    • Rachel Sea

      Going door to door is safe. Given that most kids who are harmed, are harmed by someone they know, going door to door might even be safer. :)

    • JLH1986

      Well and I don’t know many parents who let little ones trick or treat solo…I don’t think I was allowed to go solo until I was just about done with trick or treating. Of course pops maintained a respectable distance.

    • Rachel Sea

      I don’t know any young kids who would want to go solo, but by 9 or so, a small pack of children can take themselves around a decent neighborhood.

    • JLH1986

      True. My parents never let me go solo because every year there would be that rumor that kids were getting snatched while out. My dad was all “NOT MY BABIES” I think I stopped trick or treating when I was 10 or so because I played sports and no time, so maybe that’s why I never went solo?

  • Emmali Lucia

    It’s probably been said, but Halloween is kind of America’s version of the Mexican Holliday Dio De Las Muertos, day of the dead.

    Mexico is about 83% Roman Catholic (Which is one of the highest concentrations in the modern world), I know Dio De Las Muertos isn’t a “catholic” holiday per say, but these people getting their skivvies in a twist are forgetting that people more devout than them are celebrating this holiday every year

  • Amber

    I’ve heard all of these, even the fake ones.

    Except the anti-candy out mom I met didn’t hand out prunes, she handed out toothbrushes and little tubes of toothpaste.

    Because we all know that anybody who has ever eaten a piece of candy also doesn’t brush their teeth ever. I mean, sometimes I wish I could brush my teeth but since I occasionally eat a red vine, it just isn’t allowed. :(

    • Courtney

      omg that’s so what my husband’s grandmother hands out. and when she doesnt give toothbrushes she gives pencils. not sure which excites the kids more

    • anonyguest

      I actually really liked getting the halloween themed pencils and erasers. And also funky kids tooth brushes, because my mom only ever bought boring normal toothbrushes and pencils, so it was a novelty for me to get toothbrushes with cartoon characters and pencils with sparkles. The only problem with pencils is that the leds usually got broken up in to bits inside them so they were hard to keep sharp.

      I’ve always thought yoyos or little bubble solution with blower would be fun for halloween too. I got nothing against candy, but I liked getting novel stuff too.

    • aliceblue

      I think that anyone who hands out toothbrushes for Halloween is Satan so I wouldn’t let kids visit her house. :)

    • rockmonster

      I’ll take the free toothbrush as long as it has a tongue cleaner.

  • Emmali Lucia

    Also to add, my sister would totally say something like number nine. I love her dearly and I don’t think she cares about Halloween, but she’d be like “FILL YOUR FACEBOOK WITH JESUS FOR A DAY TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT.”

    Darling, I don’t think Jesus cares about what you post on the internet, as long as it’s not hurting yourself or others, he has more important things to worry about, like war and the genocides that are taking place on the daily.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      All those wars and bad stuff only happen because not enough people are liking her “Love Jesus” statuses :)

  • LiteBrite

    I love everything about Halloween. I love the movies. I love the costumes. I love the creepiness. I love the decor. I love the time of year it falls under. It’s by far my favorite holiday (it trumps Christmas as far as I’m concerned), and it’s becoming my son’s favorite too. (Because my job as a parent is to tell him what’s cool.)

    But if you don’t want to celebrate Halloween because it’s scary, or evil, or has too much sugar, or whatever, then don’t. Let the rest of us enjoy the day. It just means more candy for my son to bag and more Reese’s Pieces for me to steal from him.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    I have no issue with folks who don’t celebrate Halloween because of their beliefs, but calling anyone who does a devil-worshipper is pretty messed up.

    • EcnoTheNeato

      It’s very much a “you’re with us or against us” idea. Some of us just like candy. Or pumpkin-flavored everything. Or enjoy the fact that horror movies are mainstream 24/7 once October hits!

    • jessica

      Does anyone actually like candy corn though? The rest of the candy is amazing I just don’t understand how the makers of candy corn are still in business.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      I always have to buy the one bag because it’s Halloween, and it just feels Halloweeny. But really the bag just reminds me that I get sick of it after about 12 pieces. I think that’s the only reason they’re in business.

    • Courtney Lynn

      LOL…I’m the odd one out, then because I love it! And those little pumpkins. Only the Brach’s brand, though.

    • Shea

      You’re not alone, I love it too. I rejoice every year when it arrives in stores!

    • nightshaderebel

      or candy, pumpkin flavored everything AND horror movies. yep. favorite holiday. including the candy corn and candy pumpkins, which i couldnt touch last year thanks to gestational diabetes.

  • Guest

    A few years ago, we moved to Georgia. I am from Chicago and my husband is from northern California. Come Halloween, I did my usual “let’s dress up in super scary/gory costumes” without thinking it would be a big deal. My daughter was a zombie complete with blood all over her face. I rocked a ritual sacrifice look, with a fake slit throat. We looked awesome. We noticed that not a lot of houses had their lights on, which we thought was a bit odd, but didn’t think too much of it. Then after receiving some stink eye and noticing that almost everyone else was dressed up in friendly/cute costumes, we felt a bit out of place. Only later did I learn that Halloween is considered by many down here to be the devil’s holiday. We’ve since toned down our costumes. :) We move around every few years, so it is always interesting to learn about different cultures and points of view.

    • jsterling93

      I’m originally from Mississippi and we always did Halloween. I love the scary gory costumes. Now that I am in a liberal area of Arkansas (yeah it does exist) I notice people don’t really do Halloween. I miss it.

    • Danielle Smith

      I moved to Alabama when I was around 10, and we NEVER did Halloween down there. My parents always took us to the “Judgement House”; and old warehouse they’d deck out every Halloween with the same scenario. So basically, it’s like a live action play, where when you first enter the first actor dies and goes to Hell. You are then led through “Hell”, which is different every year. The second actor accepted Jesus and went to “Heaven”, again decorated differently every year. At then end, you are handed a card and asked to accept Jesus. It really wasn’t until we moved out of ‘Bama (I was 13) that I realized how batshit crazy the whole thing sounds. I’m taking my kids (when I have them!) tick or treating. I feel like I missed out growing up.

    • G.S.

      “Judgement House”


    • JLH1986

      In KY they get straight to the point and call it a “hell house”. but each room has a different “sin”. Lying, blasphemy, abortion, homosexual. I was a teenager and didn’t realize what a “Hell House” was and was super pumped to go to a haunted house. When I left I was pissed off that I’d been duped and they were judgy asshats.

    • G.S.

      Okay, you gotta tell me how they dressed up the lying room. Did they have bloody, detached tongues strung across the walls? Or did they just get a bunch of lawyers and politicians to mingle around? Because if the house was set up like a super gory exploitative porn horror movie, I could totally forgive it. But if it was just super tame with a bunch of guys quoting bible verses at you, yeah, I’d be put out too.

    • JLH1986

      Nope nothing cool. It was literally “LIAR” in fake blood in the room with strobe lights. The blasphemy room had strobe lights and a giant cross with scary music. Honestly the abortion room was the creepiest. They had a bunch of baby dolls hanging by ropes with fake blood on them. But in every room someone was there telling us how to “find Salvation”. At the end you could choose two directions, one was “Hell” and was fire and brimstone and a Devil was there or you could choose “Heaven” which was clean and bright and had refreshments. So…everyone who knew there were refreshments “chose” Heaven. It was lame. I entered expecting demons and vampires and left with some baby dolls hanging from the ceiling.

  • T

    I was raised that it was teh devil’s Birthday, LOL…we had to dress up as Saints for halloween, there wasan “all saints day” party at school…

  • AP

    There was a Dear Prudence on Slate letter last year involving a woman who always decorates their house to the nines for Halloween who was receiving nasty requests from the neighbors to not decorate because their preschooler was terrified of all things Halloween, and it was unfair for the kid to have to look at other people’s decorations.

    The general consensus was that if they were doing a horror show on their lawn, they should tone it down, but if it was fairly PG, they should tell the neighbors to stuff it.

    • goofyjj

      OR tell the parent to walk snowflake the other way until halloween was over.

      but i’m sure the fear was instilled by santimommy and santidaddy

  • Lee

    I have an ex-boyfriend whose mom didn’t “do” Santa and instead had a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas and even he got to celebrate Halloween.

    • G.S.

      Dude! My family does the birthday cake for Jesus thing, too! I’m surprised it’s not done more, actually, since Christmas is essentially a giant birthday party and everyone loves cake.

      And it’s always fun to see the one auntie get totally confused and ask whose birthday it was despite having “Happy 1997th Birthday, Jesus!” written on top.

    • JLH1986

      Which makes zero sense, since you know Jesus actually wasn’t born in December. I mean it’s cool to do their own thing, but you know get it right if you’re gonna be all “I don’t ‘do’ Christmas”.

    • G.S.

      Yeah, but the giant birthday party’s in December. Come on, they doll the place up all nice, bring presents and they’ve got a mascot who’s handing out stuff to the kids. The whole thing more or less demands a cake. And I’m fairly sure that Jesus of all people understands that it’s the thought that counts.

    • EcnoTheNeato

      Well, if everyone else is celebrating his birthday in December, you know, when in Rome…

  • Courtney

    These Sanctimommy articles are nuts! I am a Catholic. Went to Catholic school my whole life and we always did a Halloween parade and a party. I am planning on dressing my 19 month old up as Minnie Mouse. Seriously doubt that dressing up as an adorable Minnie will make either of us devil worshippers…dressing her as a piglet last year sure didnt :)

    • Emmali Lucia

      I’ve noticed that most Catholics are pretty chill. Out of all the “Strict” religions the people I’ve met who are Catholic are the least likely to shove a scripture down your throat or say something like “(Insert something innocuous here) IS DEVIL WORSHIP!”

    • EcnoTheNeato

      Meh, that varies from place to place, region to region, and even church to church. A Southern Baptist church in New England is light years different from one in South Carolina.

      I’ve seen my fair share of Catholic churches, ranging from cool, apathetic, old-fashioned, and the kind that consider all the previous ones “not REAL catholic churches…”

  • Kat

    Oh I love Christian fear-mongers. Read an effing book besides the bible once in a while. Pagans, Satan, what?

  • BubbleyToes

    I kept saying “fake…for sure this one’s fake…no one would…oh…oh, it’s real.” Can I just leave the planet?

  • G.S.

    You have no idea how relieved I am that the one about the parents that only take their kids to the non-sugary candy and dried prune houses was fake. I mean, yeah, I feel crazy bad for the kids who aren’t allowed to participate in the biggest costume block party of the year, but that would have just put it over the edge for me.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      I totally believed that one because we get a TON of trick-or-treaters and sometimes the parents try to impose special requests! A few years ago the first parent that came to my door (super early) brought two kids. The first opened the bag for me to toss in candy and said, “Sugar free.” The second, “Peanut free.” Yeah….I didn’t want to be a bitch, but I’d already spent over 50 bucks on candy. So I was like, “Ummmm no” as I threw the real stuff in their bag. It’s the parents job to eat all the shit their snowflakes can’t, not my job to spend even more on special diets trick-or-treaters may or may not have.

    • Amber

      Seriously?! I can’t imagine parents requesting special candy at my door. I’d be tempted to say, “Do I look like a fucking 7-11? Take it or leave it.”

      That’s so nuts.

    • G.S.

      Yeesh, they could have at least said, “please.” And don’t kids usually trade all their candy around anyway? And did their parents honestly think that there would always be something SUGAR-FREE?! It’s Halloween! EVERYTHING’S sugar!

      And I heard about a guy somewhere who had a kid who had severe food allergies or something, so the day before he went around and dropped a letter and a small toy in a few neighbours’ mailboxes and said when a kid in a certain costume (I think it was homemade, or something) came by to just put the toy in the bag. Say watch you will, but it’s miles better than just popping up out of nowhere demanding that you give their kid a piece of dairy-free, soy-free, nut-free, sugar free, chocolate-free whatever and then getting all bitchy when you don’t have anything.

    • LiteBrite

      Actually I think that sounds sweet and rather creative. That way his kid gets to enjoy Halloween and the other people don’t feel put out.

    • G.S.

      Yeah, I thought it was ridiculously sweet, too. I also wanted to give that guy all the parenting awards ever, since he did all the leg work on it and took his own initiative.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Yeah, I wouldn’t mind something like that at all. Actually, we are near a college and the day before someone from the International Students program always comes around as asks if it will be okay if the International Students come trick-or-treating to get the full American experience. (Because they figure college sized people in costumes aren’t always so welcome, and they’re right ordinarily). I always agree to that and those are fun to watch. And I would go out of my way for that kid whose dad knows its HIS responsibility, not mine. But you can’t just show up to someone’s house like that expecting special stuff.

    • EcnoTheNeato

      Agreed. Crazy-folk. I mean, isn’t it the stereotypical thing for the parents to quickly breeze through the candy? I mean, I know it’s a mixture of making sure there are no cigarettes or razorblades in the apples (I’m weird, I liked getting apples).

      If you have special wants/needs for your kid, you say trick-or-treat, then say “thank you.” Repeatx100. Then go home and sort out the peanut stuff and the sugar free stuff, and maybe even give some candy from kid X to kid Y to make it even.

      I mean come one. Parenting is “hard” but it’s not THAT hard…

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy


    • G.S.

      Dude, I get what you’re saying here, but if any houses were literally handing out cigarettes like candy, my mom would have had us come up with at least three costumes each so we could keeping going back and get more. Cigarettes aren’t cheap, yo.

    • EcnoTheNeato

      Hey, I didn’t say that parents make sure you aren’t handed cigarettes. They make sure the kids don’t get to keep them :-p

      (or snickers. Because snickers are dangerous. Dangerously delicious. I can’t expose my children to that! I’ll just take…all of them)

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      All chocolate is poisonous to children; their little bodies cannot process it properly. Therefore, you must protect them. (I had my daughter believing this for a bit when she was small:)

  • Zoe Lansing

    It drives me nuts when people refer to the U.S. as a “Christian nation”.It’s a nation with many Christian citizens but it is not a purely “Christian nation” nor was it founded as such.Some of our founding fathers were,in fact,athiests.Believe whatever you want but don’t try to impose your beliefs on the entire country.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Most of them don’t consider atheists like me to be “real” citizens. Pat Robertson thinks we should be put to death or deported. SAD FACE

    • Amber

      Yeah, that shit pisses me off. My husband and I were born in this country, both served in the military but we should GTFO because we don’t believe in God… It’s so ridiculously fucking insulting.

    • jessica

      Samesies. And it really drives me nuts when people whip out the whole “The founding fathers thought this”. The founding fathers as a group thought absolutely nothing as they were an extremely diverse bunch. Our constitution as it exists is essentially a giant compromise brought about after a whole lot of argument and debate. Argument and debate that, according to my US history teacher, occasionally evolved in to fist fights by the way. No duels though.

    • hanna

      The Founding Fathers, as I understand, were by and large Deists, which most “traditional” (read: crazy fundie) Christians wouldn’t count as a branch of their own religion. I always want to ask these people exactly what “freedom of religion” means to them.

  • scooby23

    Now that I’ve seen those “IF U CELEBRATE HALLOWEENZ THEN U WORSHIP TEH DEVILZ” I now have the sudden urge to hand out kid-sized cauldrons, witches’ hats, and books of spells and curses. And each child that would come to my door (without a parent) would be taught to say “ALL HAIL SATAN ALL HAIL SATAN” over and over and over again.

    Also, I’m curious, which forms of Christianity think Halloween is a Satanic holiday? I mean, I’m Christian(Protestant)and I’ve always gone trick-or treating and my church even has a real Halloween party (not some “Harvest Festival” or “Halloween is Evil” day.)
    My other friends (Catholic and Mormon) have always celebrated Halloween as well. I’m just wondering. I suppose I could Google it but eh, to lazy.

    • waffre

      Baptists, for one. My best friends in Elementary school were Baptists and they
      were taught that Halloween was the Devil’s day, and their church had a
      “Harvest Festival” around mid-October

    • Emmali Lucia

      Yep. The Baptists and the Evangelicals are pretty bat-shit about Halloween

    • scooby23

      Huh, interesting. I don’t really know much about Baptists and Evangelicals, except when I hear Baptist, Westboro Baptist Church comes to mind sometimes. Not to say all Baptists are like them, though.
      Westboro is a special kind of stupid that is hard to duplicate.

    • BDHA

      I was raised Southern Baptist, and my parents didn’t give a crap about Halloween being “evil.” We had jack-o-lanterns, little black cat statues in witches’ hats, and went trick-or-treating. There are fundamentalists in many denominations that are crazy, but those people would be like that no matter what denomination they were.

    • Amber

      How nice that they made up an excuse to justify celebrating devil’s day anyways. They must think their God is pretty stupid. LOL

    • Emmali Lucia

      I’m surprised your Mormon friends celebrate. I guess it all depends on the family though.

    • scooby23

      Actually, they have a whole Halloween party at their church, and it’s called a Halloween party, not a “Harvest Festival” or anything. There’s a Trunk-or-Treat and everything, and it’s not on Halloween, it’s a couple days before, so it couldn’t get in the way of real Halloween. I’ve been to it a couple of times before, and it’s actually pretty fun. A bunch of spooky decorations and everything. And my friends celebrate real Halloween, too. I’ve always assumed Mormons were okay with Halloween.

    • Faye

      I was raised Mormon and yeah, they’re totally cool with Halloween. We did do the “Trunk-or-Treating” thing, which is where everywhere decorates the trunks of their cars and the little kids go around the parking lot and get candy. It was less of a CELEBRATE JESUS DENY THE DEVIL thing than an alternative to trick-or-treating (if you wanted one) and also something fun to do as a family. Mormons are big on fun things to do as a family. Oftentimes we’d have the trunk-or-treating out in the parking lot and a haunted house set up inside. Mormons teach about the Devil’s influence as being subtle, almost unrecognizable which is why you must foster a healthy relationship with the Lord, not as witchcraft or skeletons, etc. The same was true of demons. (This is just my experience, and I only participated in the Church until my teens.)

    • Faye

      *everyone not everywhere

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Don’t forget the young single adult halloween parties… lol

    • Jallun-Keatres

      LOL who told you we didn’t??

    • nikki753

      I grew up about 3 hours out of Salt Lake. Everyone was totally into Halloween. Our school even used to have an awesome evening carnival. Plenty of strict strict Mormons gave out full candy bars, candy, homemade popcorn balls, decorated their homes all-out, hand made incredible costumes (including witches), etc. My uncle was even a bishop and his kids have all done Halloween through the years. And really? Mormons passing up such a prime crafting holiday? HA! No way! I even had a penpal from Japan that I met through the church and she said that in her town, the Mormons were the biggest celebrators of Halloween. They may not party with booze or coffee but Mormons do like a good excuse for a fun activity.

      As for the trunk-or-treating, my guess is that that comes from communities where the ward is more spread out geographically so it’s harder to go to each others houses. My parents were always big on going to houses of people we knew. And really, living in a bigger city now where we don’t know people, I would feel really weird taking my kids to get candy from strangers. Trunk-or-treating solves that.

      *Full disclosure: I do not consider myself a Mormon. But, a lot of people who mean a lot to me are and while it has it’s negative points, there are a lot of really really positive things about the Mormon culture.

    • G.S.

      “And really? Mormons passing up such a prime crafting holiday?”


      But seriously, I’m also LDS, and Halloween’s never been an issue for anyone as far as I knew. And I’ve also been to Halloween parties and trunk-or-treating. Good times.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Yes yes yes! So many crafts!

    • Emmali Lucia

      Wow, learn something new every day. The mormon families I knew in high school were pretty crazy. They didn’t celebrate Halloween and even my dearest friend couldn’t talk to me around Christmas (I’m Jewish) it was mainly because for some reason we just got awkward around each other. She’d be like “Merry!- Oh wait.” And while that didn’t bother me, for some reason it REALLY bothered her.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      Wow that is totally awk. Definitely the minority though, don’t worry! :P

    • EcnoTheNeato

      I think the break-down here is realizing people (including Mormons) celebrate it as a holiday, and not a religious holiday?

    • rockmonster

      The local Protestant church in my hometown had a party each year. I don’t know if they still do it or not.

  • MoD

    I seriously didn’t know as a kid that other people didn’t celebrate Halloween. Where I grew up, there were classroom Halloween parties, and town celebrations, and all-out trick-or-treating. All the costumes were cool (except back then people weren’t doing the super slut costumes yet). I grew up in a small town in the midwest.

    So all of this “ohmygod devil worshipping!” stuff is so foreign to me. And where I grew up is super Christian – a good mix of Protestants and Catholics. So am I missing something, maybe it’s trendy among some Christians to declare all things the devil? Like, I hear now about people who protest Harry Potter because of devilish wizardry and witches.

    I don’t know. This protest Halloween stuff is just intense. It’s such a cool holiday, especially as a kid. I truly hope the uber-Christians don’t jack it up.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

    Well, shit. Turns out Poe’s Law applies to sanctimummies, too! You got me with the fake ones, and… well… being a somewhat eclectic pagan, I’ve heard all the others straight to my face.

    • meteor_echo

      Welp, now I imagine a sanctimonious holier-than-though Egyptian mummy, complete with designer bandages and a pair of unruly horrible little mummy kids. Chortling XD

  • Jallun-Keatres

    I’m surprised you threw in a fake one. I was expecting all of them to be real! :P

  • Ashley

    Me, 5 entries in: Oh, God. They’re all real, arent’ they?

  • notorious

    The last two years Ive come home from Trick or Treating to find a Chick Tract on my door. Little do they know that I was raised in a church that gave those out seriously, and I think they are so hilarious. I love to read them out loud and make fun of them. Thanks, anonymous Halloween shamers!

    There is a new tract for Halloween this year, LMAO: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1073/1073_01.asp

  • Muggle

    I was raised in a church where I wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter or listen to secular music, and we still celebrated Halloween. We just couldn’t dress up like devils or witches.

  • brebay

    It’d be nice if I could get through a single article on this site without getting trapped into a freaking full-screen ad every time I turn the page!!!!

  • brebay

    “Would Jesus celebrate Halloween?” I’m don’t know, but I can damn sure bet he never celebrated Easter…