This has got to be the worst case of slut-shaming divorce practices that I have ever seen. Not only has Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Lori Sattler allowed personal medical records to be used against an allegedly abused woman, but the opposing lawyer then used those records to paint the woman, a divorcée, as a potential threat to her children and a hypocrite via her abortion.
Last week Judge Sattler allowed bank honcho John Mehos‘ attorney Eleanor Alter to subpoena his former wife, Lisa Mehos‘ medical records. The reasoning behind this isn’t given, but apparently this is allowed in certain custody cases. In these records, Alter discovered that Lisa had undergone an abortion after splitting from her husband. One would think this would be irrelevant. But apparently not in Eleanor Alter’s world.
According to Alter, this discovery not only makes Lisa a hypocrite for asking for her kids for Easter, since her husband is an atheist and does not celebrate (because non-atheists can’t have abortions?) but it also means she must have brought strange men around her children to get pregnant in the first place:
“If this man was coming in the house, if she’s out of the house to see him, if it was date rape, that’s relevant…this is a woman who complains she is under great stress only caused by Mr. Mehos. I would be the first person to acknowledge that having an abortion, especially a two to three month abortion, would be stressful.”
This is where I lose Alter’s argument altogether. Is she trying to claim Lisa had some rando over for a sex fest, or is she saying Lisa “allowed” herself to be raped? Why even bring rape up when Lisa certainly didn’t? If you are confused, then you’re in good company, because I am too.
You would think this would be where the judge draws the line and demands some sanity, right?
NOPE. The judge sided with Alter and said, “I do find it relevant. The children were in her care at the time.”
This makes my head want to explode. Lisa Mehos is a wealthy woman with plenty of access to nannies, babysitters, etc. I’m sure she never has to stress about finding someone to watch her two kids while she runs out to CVS or whatever. The judge would never have allowed evidence of the ex-husband’s affairs to be used against him, because as a society we place the entire onus of childcare on the woman. How dare she have sex, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Understandably shaken at having to discuss such a private event, Lisa testified that her pregnancy was the result of a one time, one night stand with a friend at HIS home while her mother watched her children for the evening. Her mother also watched her children the day she had the abortion.
I don’t know what the court was expecting to hear, that Lisa left her two small children on the side of the road while she banged some dude in an alley? That she left her kids alone at home while she went and had her abortion. Lisa did what every single mom does, she got a damn sitter and got shit done.
After her testimony, Lisa Mehos told the New York Daily News that she felt “violated.” Lisa’s lawyer, Emily Jane Goodman was equally disgusted:
“I think the very idea of the potential of using, against a woman in a custody case, the fact that she may have had an abortion sets women’s rights and the rights of choice back in a way that I can’t imagine this court would want to be associated.”
That pretty much sums up my opinion on the matter. Anyone looking for an example of the war on women, slut shaming or rape culture need only look here. Lisa Mehos was betrayed by the court, disrespected by her ex-husband and his lawyer and violated by the laws meant to protect her.