Twitter

Twitter

Brian Holloway, a former player for the New England Patriots, was home in Lutz, Florida, where he resides for most of the year, when teenagers from Stephentown, New York broke into his $1.5 million vacation home and threw one banger of a party. Now, through some internet sleuthing and erecting his own cray cray website, the furious homeowner is naming and shaming the kids who did this — and possibly suggesting beating them with spatulas.

Apparently Holloway was informed via Twitter of the events taking place. He didn’t believe the kids were actually in his home until he recognized his dining room table in a photo (presumably filled with beer pong cups and vomit). Police eventually broke up the rager, but not before the party goers allegedly caused more than $20,000 in damage, not including stolen goods.

According to Holloway the damage includes holes in walls, (most likely terrible) graffiti, busted doors and smashed windows. Kind of reminds me of the kids who were locked in a closet after committing similar shenanigans a while back, and honestly, I think these brats deserve some discipline, along with a hefty lawsuit and possibly jail time. From the Twitter and Instagram photos Holloway found in his internet detective work, they certainly seem old enough to be treated like adults, even if they don’t act like it.

He built a very insane, rambling website devoted to finding the kids responsible and, from what I gather, smacking them around with various kitchen utensils. He then wants to reform the teens, because that is exactly what teenagers want to do after being slapped around by a 300-pound former football player. Holloway claims to have complied a list of more than 200 names of kids he thinks attended the clandesdine shindig. Here is just a taste of the madness that can be found on HelpMeSave300.com

I want to thank everyone for coming forward with names and information of students that were possibly involved.    THE LIST is growing.    It’s being turned over to the sheriffs department to assist them to verify and identify the facts.   All the Twitter feeds will be recovered and have been a source of identifying who was involved.

I want to thank the parents and community leaders that have taken a stand for these children’s future, everyone deserves a chance to turn their life around.

According to the site, Hollow is also an “old school disciplinarian” raised by proper parents. And he apparently wants us to wait while he grabs a cup of coffee:

I know one thing, if my child was involved I would want to know everything NOW; we are old school disciplinarians, we do not sit back, we take action, we step in and take charge. It’s so easy for kids to get off track if we let them; being a real parent is a full time, no vacations, no breaks responsibility, for sure.

We must teach our kids to be accountable.Maybe I’m wrong, I’m not the smartest person in the world, but I didn’t learn anything by getting, “time-outs.” But that’s just me. I was hard headed and rebellious too.My parents wore my…you get the picture.Let’s just say I was quite familiar with wooden spoons, hair brushes, switches, ping pong paddles, spatulas, rolled up magazine and every kind of belt known to mankind…My father served 2 tours in Vietnam; we were raised in a with discipline household, his flight pay is $6500 a year; if we bought the ketchup there was no milk.

Let me grab a quick cup of coffee…

I wish I had the ability to have a one on one conversation with each of you. Or at least, chat at Garner’s, or maybe even on the sideline at Berlin soccer games, or at the post office or maybe even Pizza Plus; but I can’t; so my only option was try to reach you by using the web.

In case you think I’m exaggerating, here is a curious screenshot:

holloway sceen shot 1

HelpMeSave300.com

But Holloway isn’t just looking to reform and punish. No! He is also asking for monetary donations to help repair his home. Because of course he is. Now this would normally seem par for the course, but this man is a former NFL football star who went to Stanford University. He owns a home worth more than a million dollars in upstate New York, and another home in Florida, which I am guessing is also worth quite a bit.

What I’m saying is he doesn’t exactly seem hard up for cash, so why should the public be expected to pitch in? Obviously I’m not excusing the bratastic rifd raff that trashed is home, but why not sue them and their parents and leave the rest of us out of it?