little girl with magnifying glassDespite the worst mommy hashtags and usual topics of contention, spotting bonafide sanctimommies on the interwebs can be quite difficult given how easy it is to mock their self-righteousness. I routinely come across alleged Facebook rants and satirical articles that are often hard to distinguish from the real thing.

For the purposes of perfecting our radar, I’ve pulled an assortment of fictitious sanctimommy social media statuses as well as authentic ones for you to distinguish. Let’s play!

1. No Free Time For Real Moms

I don’t have any free time. I actually love my children, so when they’re at school I spend the hours imagining what they must be doing at every moment of the day. ”Free time”, hobbies and interests are for whorey skanks who never should have had kids in the first place. Once u have ur own youll get it

Real or fake?

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It’s fake. Our reader Sara610 penned this gem in the comments, writing in full:

I don’t have any free time. I actually love my children, so when they’re at school I spend the hours imagining what they must be doing at every moment of the day, except when I take a break to go on Facebook and talk about how all other mothers are terrible. I then spend the rest of the day counting the minutes until I can go pick them up and wait outside their classrooms with my nose pressed up against the glass.

“Free time”, hobbies and interests are for whorey skanks who never should have had kids in the first place. Once u have ur own youll get it

2. SAHMs vs. Working Moms

 I’m definitely proud to be a stay at home mom. I’ve personally seen the huge difference between kids that r raised by their mother and/or father and kids that r put in daycare as a baby. Especially the first 2 years. The difference is absolutely incredible

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It’s totally real:

SAHM2

3. Mom Priorities

Being a mom is all about sacrifice. Your time, your privacy, and your love is all your baby’s now.

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It’s totally real:

sanctimommytweet24. What Feminism Did Wrong

One thing that the feminist movement did wrong was make women deny the very things that made us women : motherhood. Sorry but that’s the truth

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It’s totally real:

sanctimommyfacebook

5. On Birth

“Having a child shouldn’t be your biggest fear. It should be your biggest achievement.”

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It’s fake. I just made up this little diddy.

6. Formula shaming

“Breastfeeding is like marriage. You can’t cheat on it and expect it to work.”

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Fake, but sort of real. It popped up on this meme that was floating around Facebook recently:

breastfeeding marriage7. Breastfeeding Facts

Fact: formula fed babies babies are more likely to die before their third birthday. #breastfeeding

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It’s totally real:

FFtweet(photo:  Mads Boedker)