• Wed, Sep 11 - 3:54 pm ET

10 Craziest Parenting Questions On Yahoo! Answers

parenting advice Picard facepalm

Memegenerator.net

One of my favorite pastimes, ever, is perusing Yahoo! Answers, a community where members can ask and answer questions for points. I’m not sure exactly what the points can be used for, and to be honest I was a little surprised that people still used Yahoo at all, but nonetheless the experience has been…let’s just say enlightening.

Yahoo! Answers isn’t the only question and answer site online. It isn’t the oldest or even the biggest, as far as I know. But Yahoo! Answers has something that no other similar site has: the most dim-witted, douche-tastic members every born. I can literally feel my IQ points drop when I read this site. See? I just used literally wrong. Or did I? I don’t KNOW! Thanks Yahoo!

1. A teenage boy watching porn? NO!

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2. If you can read this, you win a medal…

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3. Can you say OVERREACTION? 

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4. “Grade A” parenting right here

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5. This lady and #3 should get their own comment thread 

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6. Question, with a side of judgey coming up!

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7. iPad? How about iStalk?

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8. Somebody call Jerry Springer and then get this lady a spine

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9. Having kids out of love is SO last century

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10. Come again?

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  • G.E. Phillips

    Ouch. I feel like you’re being pretty judgy here. Some of these are not that bad. Personally, I don’t know if I would go on Yahoo Answers to get parenting advice, but then again, it’s not all that different from any other parenting board or ask/answer forum. And yeah, some of these sound like they were written by someone young or maybe without the firmest grasp of the English language, but not everyone out there is as articulate and with it as you know, Mommyish contributors and commentors. YMMV.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Well, my opinion with most of these is that they are trolling, hence the tongue in cheek presentation. There were plenty of more serious questions, or questions that were obviously asked by someone genuinely looking for help who might not be great at English, that I left out. A few of them I actually took the time to answer. I’m not knocking people with legit concerns, I’m poking fun at either trolls, or people too lazy to get legitimate help. I feel like the majority of these fall into the former category.

    • G.E. Phillips

      Well, if you think most of these are trolls, it doesn’t come across in the piece. It just sounds like you’re making fun of people. I have no problem with you judging trolls, lol. My personal impression of Yahoo Answers is that its population mostly consists of 14 year olds or older, less educated adults who maybe don’t know that there are way more legitimate places to get information on the internet (ie, they type their question into a Yahoo search bar and Yahoo Answers comes up as one of the first options so they go there.) And that’s why I was kind of like, Yikes, you’re kind of kicking puppies here.

  • TwentiSomething Mom

    Some of these questions make no damn sense and others… pretty legit, especially the one with the woman that she suspects could be a potential molester. I hope she gets real help for her son so she won’t have to rely on yahoo for resources.

    • Emmali Lucia

      I’m a bit worried about the son, I mean if the mother is so freakishly convinced that he’s going to be a molester when he’s 6 that she’s telling the police these things (I think that’s what’s going on, I couldn’t follow that story very well) then I think he will grow up hurt and angry and it could turn into him taking his hurt and anger out on someone in various ways.

    • Hibbie

      Good for her for being proactive and getting assistance to deal with the issue (not via Yahoo, but she mentioned agency involvement). I don’t think she’s overreacting at all. There’s something seriously wrong if a child has a history of touching other children inappropriately. That goes far beyond curiosity.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Oh I agree. My shock with questions like that is why the hell are they on Yahoo Answers and not talking to the authorities or a professional! And even with the one person who mentions an agency, the way they go about asking I find disturbing.

    • SusannahJoy

      Telling a kid from a young age that he’s a molester is a great way to raise a kid who turns into a molester. I wonder if the kid really has been touching other kids inappropriately anyway, or if it’s just been normal little kid exploring.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    I found this awhile ago and saved it for future amusement.

    • Paul White

      I’m going to try to unsee that.

    • meteor_echo

      You can only try to booze it out of your system. This cannot be unseen.

    • Wendy

      I love it! Scrapbook that nasty mess lady.

      But how the hell pregnant does the answerer think she’s gonna get? Isn’t that lady like 3 weeks overdue? Is the person just messing with her, or are they serious?

    • JLH1986

      I read that response as pure sarcasm.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

      Oh my God. What is with these screen names? I want to print this up and use it for the next baby shower gift I give.

    • OhHeyDelilah

      I can’t work out if I am crying because I’m laughing so hard, or just crying because OH MY GOD.

  • Alex Lee

    I’m trying for the medal…

    Ken is concerned that his promiscuous behaviors earlier in life may have affected the health of his sperm and, consequently, the health of his future child(ren).

    He should consult with a health care advisor to get his semen tested.

    • Emmali Lucia

      Can you tell me what the last one is about? She’s wants to know if Willie gets a baby in the 17th day after her period? And now she wants to know how to not get a baby without a pill OE (Which I think could be Oy, so she’s either Jewish or an anarchist punk) condom.

      OY! CONDOM!

      So she answers her own question, how do I not get a baby without birth control? OY! CONDOM!

    • Alex Lee

      Wille = will
      oe = or
      So, with corrections:

      I want to know if I will get pregnant on the 17th day after my period. Thanks.
      So I don’t get pregnant now, how can I do that without pills or condoms?

      She needs education on various birth control methods, how they work, and their efficacy. Most importantly, there are no guarantees with any of the methods, including the rhythm method.

    • Alex Lee

      also, I think OY! CONDOM! needs to be put on a T-shirt and sent to Eve Vawter.

    • Emmali Lucia

      What type of font?

      I am ON THIS.

      Also, someone stole our moonshine idea. They made the most wonderful gluten free peach moonshine. D:

    • Alex Lee

      I was thinking something in a nice, Victorian script:

      http://www.etsy.com/listing/7186873/whore-and-bitch-teacup-duo

    • VĂ©ronique Houde

      she probably meant OR – since the E is next to the R on the keyboard ;)

  • Paul White

    Yahoo Answers is a scary place, with plenty of trolls and awful advice. I’d encourage folks to steer well clear.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      I honestly think most of these are trolls. There were some legit people looking for help who made me feel for them. A few I actually took the time to answer seriously. YA makes me equal parts sad, disgusted, amused and depressed.

  • Tinyfaeri

    #5: stop wearing elastic waist pants in public. At least wear a belt, some of them have fake belt loops.

    • Bethany Ramos

      She should stop doing this, even without the threat of getting her pants pulled down.

    • OhHeyDelilah

      Haha seriously. Or wear a skirt!. Or jeans. Or any of those other million and one items of clothing in existence that can’t be pulled down.

  • N.

    I feel as though without the “Russian Doll Dilemma” your list remains incomplete.
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100317231952AAtrZSE

  • Muggle
  • EX

    Are these people the sharpest knives in the drawer? Probably not. Have they chosen an appropriate place to get answers? Absolutely not! But these are people who, for the most part, are dealing with serious problems and clearly lack the supports or resources to get the help they need. I don’t think it’s really all that much fun to make fun of them. Now the answers, the answers on yahoo are often worthy of some serious ridicule.

  • Amber

    Ugh, I hate people who have children just so they have someone to take care of them when they’re old. What an awful reason to reproduce.

    It’s stupid too. My mom worked at a nursing home full of hundreds of people with children who didn’t give a damn about them and never visited.

    Hell, my own parents will die old and alone and they have two children. I guess they should have treated us better.

    • Muggle

      I was sure that #9 was a troll. I’ve always hated that reasoning as well… and the people who say that call the childfree selfish! I’m sure they appreciate being brought into existence for the sole purpose of caring for their parents.

    • Emmali Lucia

      I had a boyfriend who was convinced the only reason his mother had him and his siblings was so that they could take care of the house.

      He grew up to hate his mother (And women, for that matter). So seriously, even if you have kids for love, don’t even JOKE about having them to take care of the house or you when you get old, it will turn into a huge deal of resentment when they get older.