American Teens Travel To London To Exorcize The Demons That Harry Potter Unleashed – Not Kidding

shutterstock_106195499__1378652829_142.196.156.251Three Arizona teens travelled to London armed with bibles and holy water to exorcize the demons they are convinced the spells contained in the Harry Potter books unleashed. That’s right, London is wracked with demons, but for a mere 200 British pounds, the girls will make the demons go away.

Brynne Larson and sisters Tess and Savannah Scherkenback are black belts in Karate and very handy with crosses and holy water. Larson’s father, Bob Larson, also known as “The King of Crazy” (by me), trained the girls in all things extortion exorcism.

From The Mirror:

They were tailed on their UK trip by film-maker Dan Murdoch, who spent six months with them for a BBC3 documentary.

More than 100 people went to the London mass exorcism at Mile End’s Amazing Grace church.

Brynne – who claims she did her first exorcism at 13 – insisted ­exorcism is not an act.

She said: “I’m not doing it for the cameras. This is life or death. Satan hates us and hates God but I seek the triumph of good.”

According to Bob, in addition to Harry Potter, Satan also rules homosexuals, communism and alcohol – as seen on Facebook.

I don’t know about this whole exorcising of demons thing, but Larson’s website is good for a few hours of hilarity. I’m a professional at wasting time on the Internet, and my professional opinion is that his site is almost as entertaining and time consuming as Oprahfy-Yourself. You’ve been warned.

If exorcising demons interests you as a profession, you can look into the Bob Larson International School of Exorcism ® and take courses like Basic Curse Breaking, Post Constantine Exorcism and Procedures to Deal With Demons. Add some Karate classes to your course load, and maybe you can join the girls on their next mission. I’m thinking it may have something to do with Fifty Shades of Grey – but I can’t be certain.

(photo: udra11/ Shutterstock)

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  • keelhaulrose

    Didn’t make it over here… I’m still worshipping at the altar of the Boy Who Lived.
    And Alan Rickman’s Snape.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      Alan Rickman is delicious. I would watch that man even if he was sitting on an empty stage reading the phone book. I read the first Harry Potter when it first came out to see what the fuss was all about. It was ok, but I was not taken with it. It wasn’t until I saw Alan Rickman as Snape that I was inspired to read the whole series just to picture Rickman as Snape. Still have to see all the movies though.

    • jenniferchen24

      Experience is a poor teacher: So, don’t bother and make some
      handsome earning, go to this site… http://www.bay35.ℂℴm

  • Rachelle

    You know you’re down and out when your homepage straight-up asks people to pay off your frozen and maxed out credit cards… Must be them damn bank demons.

    • Maria Guido

      I need to exorcise my bank demons!

    • Emmali Lucia

      Can we do that? Can we go to his college and learn how to exorcise bank demons?

      Hell, it could work. We scare the banks into leaving us alone, I heard they don’t go after the crazies

    • Maria Guido

      I don’t think we need to go to his college. Would any of us be believable exorcists? It seems like that’s where all the money is.

    • Emmali Lucia

      I like to believe that I’d make a very believable exorcist. I might not be Catholic, but I can curl my hair and dye it red, gain about fifty pounds, and then wear those black moo-moos.

    • jagunso

      The worst quality that someone can have is to be incredulous, with open eyes will not see anything.

    • Psych Student

      I may have seriously considered starting a religion (read: cult) in order to make money. I think being an exoricist would be easier.

  • Evelyn

    Why on Earth London? She didn’t write them there, she doesn’t live there. If the exorcism can be done remotely then why travel at all?

    • jagunso

      That´s a good point, I do agree with you, once Jesus made a miracle in the distance, and also said that if we believe on him , we can do bigger things than
      he did, so….very good intervention.

  • Annona

    I have a friend who occasionally, with complete and utter sincerity, begs me to come to her church for an exorcism so that my body can be freed from the demon that makes me crave tobacco. If they could also get rid of the demon that makes me crave Godiva truffles, I might actually go.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      Yeah, I would go if someone could rid me of the demons that crave carbs in the form of fresh baked breads. Which is a serious craving considering that I work in a bakery. My job is torture, sweet, warm fresh baked torture.

    • DMH

      Ahhhh the smell of bread… Best smell ever. Coffee beans and burning campfire wood come in a close second and third.

    • Tea

      I want the Goldfish Cracker and Godiva liqueur demon gone, it’s way worse than the pipe tobacco one.

    • Maria Guido

      Goldfish crackers be damned! I always stock up on those “for my son.” Yeah, right.

    • Peggy

      Slightly off topic….I recently read somewhere that Riesling pairs well with goldfish crackers. Just FYI :)

  • Shelly Lloyd

    I think I’m more pissed off that these twits get to travel to London. How is it that they can get to what I am sure is an amazing place, where they will NOT appreciate the history, art and culture that it has to offer. While someone like me, who has wanted to visit London since I was a very little girl, will probably never get to go.

    • Tea

      No kidding, this makes me want a nutjob persona for mooching free stuff.

    • jagunso

      It is easy to some one speak like that when has no spiritual problem, but when
      you have it, than you learn to give more importance to spiritual liberation than
      to the art and culture, how can someone enjoy art and culture if the only thing
      he thinks is to die, he does not want to die but something leads him to want it,
      something leads him to think about it , this is not a joke , think about it.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      See when I suffered a very serious depression and I had suicidal thoughts I did not go to some quack-pot teenager or “faith-healer” who had zero medical knowledge. I went to a trained, certified professional doctor and got real help. It took several years but eventually I recovered; without the help of religion. In fact I had to get away from religion to get well.
      Furthermore your argument does not make sense, you are saying that people who “have a spiritual problem” and “the only thing he thinks is to die, he does not want to die but something leads him to want it” means that someone in that situation would not enjoy the art, history and culture of London. But this article and my reply to is is not about people who are suffering “spiritual problems” but about people who are praying on such people. The 3 teens who are going to London did not state that they are suffering spiritual problems and want to die. They said they are going to preform exorcisms because of Harry Potter. That says to me that they are ignorant of the culture that produced such books. That and they are little more than county fair charlatans.

  • thisshortenough

    Wait if Satan hates homosexuality doesn’t that mean god loves it?

    • Maria Guido

      Oops. That makes no sense. Sorry.

    • jagunso

      God loves the homosexuals as persons, but their practice ….you must ask him,
      one thing I do know, that is not normal because it is a behavior and not a
      condition, to be a man or a woman it is a condition, to be homosexual it is not a
      a condition, it is a behavior affected by demonic spiritual influence.

    • Rachel Sea

      I have a bridge I’d like to sell you.

  • DMH

    Sounds like some of those loonies that used to say people would go to hell for reading Harry Potter. By the way, I’m fully expecting a suite decorated in scarlet and gold when I get there.

    • ElleJai

      Mine will be green and silver, but we can still wave ;)

  • jagunso

    they are going to exorcize the demons….I believe in that because the
    bible says that jesus exorcized many times , and if there is some one who does not believe, is better to start believing , the point is, how are
    they going to do it ? There is only one way, and that is also written in
    the bible…they must tell them to go away but in the name of Jesus crist, that is the only name the demons respect and go.They do not respect
    nothing else….I have experienced this and so…I CAN SPEAK.

    • Véronique Houde


    • jagunso

      I´m Portuguese clever !

  • historychick79

    Can I just be glad they didn’t use any common sense and left Edinburgh alone? Because that place is far cooler (and a wee bit creepier) than London. I think the ghosts there would just laugh at this anyway, they’ve seen worse (Malleus Maleficarum and all that jazz).

    • xvala

      If there really was a god, he’d send them to Scotland and give the rest of us popcorn.

    • Evelyn

      If they had arrived in the middle of the fringe festival it could have been amusing. I notice that despite a big trip and a camera crew they could only get an audience of just over 100. Perhaps if the had gone to the place it all began in during the fringe festival people might have gone along because they assumed it was a tongue in cheek comedy.

  • HS

    His website reads like one of those spam emails that’s says, Hello friend. I’m in urgent need of your help. I traveled to [exotic location] and lost my wallet. Can you please transfer [large dollar amount] to my bank account? Etc etc. Wack job!

  • libraryofbird

    They should have just stayed home and watched the Harry Potter weekend on abc family. They are missing out.

  • Johhnybravo

    I hear they speak parseltongue and for an extra fee will ‘exorcize’ the snake demons right out of your pants.
    In my opinion this is a bit rough, seeing as a few priests have been know to do this for free in the past.

    • jagunso

      If you do want to speak seriously about it, I can do it.

    • Johhnybravo

      You’ll ‘exorcize’ the snake demon from my pants?
      Do you charge by the hour?

    • The Great Queen Spider

      Just like the scammers in the article, they’ll charge way too much for nothing.

  • Guest

    Wow, I rarely llol (literally laugh out loud) at even some of the funniest things on the internet, so when you said this guys website was guaranteed to make me laugh, I was skeptical. But I laughed! Out loud! Kudos to you-dos! :)

  • les342

    Those girls got ripped off, but so what? I think if you’re that stupid, gulible, and brainwashed, you deserve what you get.

  • BubbleyToes

    Wowwwww…I don’t even have a good comment…just wow.

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