(UPDATE) Mom Criticizes Scantily Clad Girls For Posting Selfies, Posts Pics Of Sons In Bathing Suits

facebook ipod touchMothers wringing their hands over “aggressive girls” looking to tempt their pure and upstanding sons with all that slutiness always seem to find outward displays of sexuality of the utmost concern. Duck face from underage harlots can be found across multiple social media platforms, all the better to corrupt their otherwise pristine sons with. Such is the dilemma for one mother of teenage boys, Kimberly Hall, who pens a personal blog post addressing “lovely ladies” who insist on sharing pictures of themselves with “the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.” Mrs. Hall, as she signs, is disappointed in you ladies for posting images of yourself “in a state of undress.” Yet, accompanying this didactic post criticizing said undress are pictures of her own sons clad only in swimsuits. Double standard, much?

Kimberly, who says that she is the Director of Women’s ministry at All Saints PCA in Austin, TX, opens her letter, entitled “FYI (if you’re a teenage girl,” by pointing out what her sons actually see in these pouty images:

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer!  Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know…

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

Kimberly alerts these ladies to the “bummer” ahead in that she sadly had to block these young ladies for all their exhibitionism, adding “if you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.” But it would appear that the chaste standards to which Kimberly holds her son’s potential suitors, she, of course, does not hold to her own sons — such bearers propriety. Kimberly uses the image below to properly illustrate this slut-shamey double standard:

kimberly hall sons2

I’m sorry, but do young men usually FLEX before heading into the water? To quote Kimberly, “None of these positions is one I naturally assume before” going swimming?

Truthfully, I’m really not all that concerned with what constitutes a “natural position” before swimming or going to bed or what have you — for either sex. But Kimberly clearly does, therein lying some super problematic and differing rule sets for young men versus young women. Once again, it’s solely on the young lady to keep that skin and expression in check while her male peers can run up and down the beach in their swim trunks and it’s still considered family friendly enough to post on a personal mom blog.

The real issue here is sexist perception and the fact that we’ve culturally deemed a young girl in pajamas as innately salacious, but young men in bathing suits showing off their bods is just a wholesome PG time for all.

“FYI (if you’re a teenage girl),” this is pot meets kettle, the slut shaming edition.

UPDATE: Kimberly Hall host posted a new version of her original letter, entitled “FYI #2 (the one where everyone’s covered up),” in which she has posted pictures of her sons not in swimsuits. 

(photo: givenbreath.comMehfuz Hossain)

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    • Paul White

      A family member posted that with positive comments bout it on facebook; I’m still weighing if/how I want to respond. What got me is the “they’l never think of you non-sexually again!!11!!” comment. Holy crap. My wife and I have sex–regularly–but not every thought I have re: her is sexual.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I feel Koa gave you the perfect reply: ” pot meets kettle, the slut shaming edition.” HAHAHAHA

      • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

        That’s such a good point! Like as if thinking someone is sexy means you can never think they are also smart, interesting, talented, etc. I mean, I know she’s talking about teenagers, so the sex part is huge, but still, give the boys some credit.

      • rchains

        Please consider responding by posting my counterperspective, here:
        http://rebeccahains.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/a-response-to-mrs-hall-teaching-our-boys-respect-and-self-control/

        Good luck!

      • Sundaydrive00

        If her boys can only think of these girls as sexual, then its the parents fault for not raising their boys to be respectful of women and to see them as more then just a sexual being. I feel like her comments are borderline victim blaming. It sounds like those people who try to blame rape on what the woman was wearing, and not on the men who can’t control themselves.

      • Psych Student

        I’m not even sure her comments are “borderline” anything. They straight up suck! Oh my, men can’t *possibly* be responsible for their actions if *women* walk around with their skin showing! It’s not like men are living, breathing, (hopefully) thinking human beings who have some say over their behaviors or anything. Clearly men are only capable of thinking about sex and nothing else, EVER! Oh, terribly sorry, just got word that science has proven that men don’t think about sex that much and are in fact capable of doing other things. Besides, it’s not like *any* man has *ever* looked at a woman who is fully clothed and thought “yeah, she’s sexy”. /sarcasm
        Side note: I’m guess those boys will be kind of hot in another 10 years or so if they can get away from their mother. I’m just saying, maybe I want them to imagine me in minimal clothing.

      • Ptownsteveschick

        Haha, this reminds me of my husband, I have the tendency to get naked to shower, but then remember a bunch of chores I wanted to do first and wander naked through the house. The completely no sexual nakedness is often met with comments from him like “uh why are you naked right now?” I tease him that it is every mans dream to have a naked woman wandering around.

    • CMJ
      • Shelly Lloyd

        Sums up my feelings about Mrs. Hall and her ilk exactly.

    • Cee

      But, Koa, that’s just boys being boys!

    • Shelly Lloyd

      Oh the Irony! It burns!

    • Emmali Lucia

      Well she’s a Texan who brags on her page about the hard work she does within her church.

      Why am I not surprised that she’s judgemental and full of double-standards?

      Not saying that this has anything to do with religion, mind you, it has much more to do with the types of people who brag about all the hard work they do for insert charitable cause or company here.

      I like the people who volunteer for good causes without announcing it to the world. They’re less likely to be judgemental assholes, at least from my experience.

      • alice

        she has a post about her summer reading list. it includes “Counseling the Homosexual: A step-by-step guide for equipping churches and families to effectively approach, support and counsel those who struggle with homosexuality”

        so i’m very fine saying that she’s a judgmental bitch full of double standards :)

      • Emmali Lucia

        So, you’re telling me she’s a “Christian” and not a Christian? That makes perfect sense.

        Whatever happened to the teachings of Jesus? You know, the ones where he says “It’s God’s job to judge these people, it’s your job to love them and accept them despite their flaws.”

      • Badger96

        Hey, that could be legit. Assuming her advice is “don’t judge them, treat them like people, and support them loving whoever they love, in the manner that they were born to do so.” Given that a large part of “struggling” with a not-hetero sexuality has to do with the attitudes of straight people.

        But given the title- “The Homosexual” as if we GLBTQ+ folk are some exotic species to be studied- I really, really doubt it is.

    • rchains

      Thank you for addressing the photos! That was pretty mind-boggling.

      Meanwhile, I posted a rebuttal to her post as a whole on my blog this morning. Check it out here: http://rebeccahains.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/a-response-to-mrs-hall-teaching-our-boys-respect-and-self-control/

      • Aniangel

        Good post. I really enjoyed it.

      • rchains

        Thank you!

      • Melissa T

        Well said.

      • JLH1986

        “…if we focus on raising our sons, rather than chastising other people’s daughters, it’s possible.”
        I LOVE this.

    • TngldBlue

      Oh noes the Hall boys might only think of you sexually and forget you have a brain! Methinks if this how the Hall boys are, Momma Hall is addressing the wrong kids.

    • Becky Y.

      The pictures she posted of her family could be framed and put on a wall in her home for anyone who walked in to see (or for anyone who reads her blog to see). Pictures of teenage girls in towels (something she mentions in her blog referring to “state of undress”) are not something the girl or her parents would want framed on the wall. Mrs. Hall is not “slut-shaming” she is trying to bring the idea of modesty into these girls heads. And if they are friends with her sons, or have access to her blog, they are likely to be girls from her church.
      I agree with her. I find that there is not enough modesty in today’s world. No one gets dressed by accident. We all know what we’re doing when we choose our clothing in the morning. There is a reason for dressing the way that they do.
      I personally don’t like bikinis. Why it’s ok to walk around in a bikini but not in underwear (which often covers more) is completely beyond me. For a teenage girl to post a picture of herself in a bikini or a towel, it is because she is looking for comments. She wants to hear that she looks good. Even if it’s just a silly selfie in the mirror. She hasn’t forgotten what she’s wearing (or not wearing). I applaud Mrs. Hall. And I wish more people would care enough about these girls to not be so worried about their feminism and “rights”, but more interested in trying to help them grow into responsible young women. I say let’s leave a little mystery and not have it all hanging out there for every male who passes you to see.

      • Shelly Lloyd

        “Could be framed and put on a wall in her home for anyone who walked in to see.” That really doesn’t mean anything you know. I Van Goghs on my wall, which I have been told is horrid because Van Gogh cut his ear off to impress a woman, and his paintings encourage a sense of insanity dangerous in young children. (Yes, I remember being told that by one of my mom’s church lady friends).
        One of my Girl Scout moms is an art major and had some very lovely paintings of naked women that she has done. She would love for everyone to walk in and see them. And yes, this is a mother of young women.
        This point that you seem to miss is the double standard of certain relgions. This woman thinks it is perfectly ok for young men to run around mostly naked and do the whole “look at my flat stomach and adds and muscles” pose–they are certainly looking like they are hanging everything out and are looking for people to tell them how big and strong and good looking they are; but if a girl does it, “OH NOES!” She is suddenly naughty and immodest and all sorts of bad things.

      • Ptownsteveschick

        There is a Gustav Klimt print of a naked woman at Ikea that I covet so badly it hurts. I would happily hang up behind my couch in my living room. Sure Ikea may have cropped out the nipple at the very bottom, but it is still very much a naked woman that I would hang on my walls. And I plan to let my daughter look at it whenever she wants, because bodies are a wonderful thing.

      • Nicole

        I have that on my wall! With three young boys at home, no less. The horror! :)

      • Gangle

        My coffee table book is full of Klimts sketches of masturbating women. That guy loved his ladies.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        I have a helmut newton photo that shoes NAKED TITS framed in my living room. and I have boys, oh well

      • Gangle

        I have an artist friend who a framed painting in his living room that shows MY NAKED TITS. Because I am such a slut like that.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        We are sitting in the Slutty Tits™ corner.

      • Gangle

        Slutty Tits are the best tits of all. Nobody could hate slutty tits. Also, how freaking awesome is the work of Helmut Newton?!?!?!

      • TngldBlue

        Well first of all, a woman in a towel is covering as much as if not more skin than a boy in a bathing suit but therein lies the problem. Because some people see sex first when seeing a woman, a towel is scandalous whereas they see a person first when seeing a man so a bathing suit is nothing to worry about. And that is the double standard and just one of things infuriating about Mrs. Hall’s “FYI”. The second is that she puts the onus for her sons thoughts and actions on the girls and places no responsibility on them. If her sons can’t look at a girl in a bikini without completely forgetting about other qualities the girl might have beyond her sexiness that is a problem-for THEM not for the girl. Their mother should be doing a better job at educating her sons that a girl who looks sexy is much more than what she is wearing and to have some respect. It isn’t the females responsibility to change so that poor little boys can control themselves.

      • Shelly Lloyd

        Amen!

      • Mystik Spiral

        Nobody asked you or Ms. Hall to act as self-appointed modesty police. You don’t like bikinis? Don’t wear one.

      • CMJ

        Oy. You would write me a modesty ticket if you saw what was framed on my walls.

        Also, this has nothing to do with feminism or “rights” but double standards.

        (I’m not sure I can post my Rocket from the Crypt and Niagara prints here)

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter
      • Melissa T

        I spit my drink laughing at this, thanks…hahaha

      • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

        ” I wish more people would care enough about these girls to not be so worried about their feminism and “rights”, but more interested in trying to help them grow into responsible young women.” – Women like you make me sick. Just sick, like physically. I wish women like you would worry less about what other females are wearing and more about, oh I don’t know, ANYTHING else.

        Don’t try to force your idea of “modesty” on me OR my daughters. Or my sons for that matter.

      • Mystik Spiral

        Because when “responsible young woman” = “brood mare, cook, maid”, we have no use for female rights.

        And Becky – the 14th century called. They want you to come home now.

      • chomps

        I upvoted you, but I also wanted to tell you that I love your user name! <3 Daria

      • Viv

        and I wish that YOU would be more modest in an immodest and scantily clad SLUTTY world!!

      • Frances Locke

        *EYE ROLL TO INFINITY* How about I dress how I want, and you continue on being a frigid, awful person. k?

      • Viv

        Girls who show too much skin and dress slutty aren’t afraid of being fondled by strangers AND of being solicited as prostitutes!

      • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

        Did you seriously just make the argument that victims of sexual assault are asking for it if they’re wearing a short skirt? Does it hurt to be this stupid?

      • FrameThis!

        I’m pretty sure I get dressed entirely by accident every morning! I can’t fathom why else I’d end up wearing clothes every day…

        Of course now I want a t-shirt with a picture frame over one boob and a caption that says “frame this!” Left or right being personal preference of course.

      • aliceblue

        “For a teenage girl to post a picture of herself in a bikini or a towel, it is because she is looking for comments.” And just why do you think the the boys posed like they did? Does that pose bring them closer to God, create lots of triangles so that they can study geometry, help expel lustful thoughts from their minds?

        And regarding “Why it’s ok to walk around in a bikini but not in underwear is completely beyond me.” I imagine much is beyond you, why should this be any different?

      • Michelle Pittman

        same goes for the girls who take pictures in tank tops and stuff — so girls should never take pictures of themselves at the beach unless they’re completely covered up? they should never take a picture of themselves in a tank top because it’s “sexy”? maybe it’s just freaking HOT…

      • aliceblue

        I don’t think you noticed the quotation marks in my comment. It is Becky Y who made the bikini comment, not I.

      • Michelle Pittman

        oh no — i was just sarcastically agreeing with you :-) i should have made that more clear :-)

      • Daisy

        I also believe in modesty and don’t like bikinis. Therefore, I don’t wear bikinis. Simple as that. Because that’s how I choose to dress myself, and if other people want to make other choices then that’s up to them and nobody else.
        And I definitely don’t dress modestly just in case I might put impure thoughts in some poor helpless lust-crazed male’s head. If they are thinking impure thoughts about me, then that’s their problem, not mine. Besides, I am sure most men out there are decent enough to think of me as an intelligent, kind, creative, thoughtful human being whom they would never dream of disrespecting, regardless of whether they can see a little bit of cleavage or thigh.
        I just dress modestly because that is how I prefer it, for me, and nobody else.

      • Byron

        What’s exactly problematic about impure thoughts? They’re…uhh…fun and unless you lack self control to a degree which would render you a criminal in various aspects of life they have no negative. You don’t need to be lust-crazed to find some pretty girl pretty, you just need to be straight. It’s like with food really, you don’t need to be pizza-obsessed to find yummy-looking pizza apetizing, you just need to be human.

        No need to be hysteric about a pretty darn normal aspect of everyday life for most males between the ages of 12-90.

      • Gangle

        I think that was her whole point… she isn’t worried about men having impure thoughts. She dresses modestly to suit herself.

      • Daisy

        Yes, sorry, I can clarify. I don’t have a problem with other poeple having impure thoughts. But if anyone ELSE doesn’t want to have those thoughts themselves, or doesn’t want their kids to, then that’s their responsibility, not mine to dress a certain way.

      • lea

        “The pictures she posted of her family could be framed and put on a wall in her home for anyone who walked in to see ”

        And why is that? Becky?

        It is because a man in a bathing suit is not seen as inherently sexual. He can pose, muscles flexed for maximum display of his masculine physique and it doesn’t make him immodest or slutty. Why? Because he has a penis.

        I’m sure you wouldn’t be happy for the same picture to be up on the wall in the family home if it was of teenaged girls in bikinis now would you.

        Herein lies the hypocrisy and sexism.

      • talonsage

        Hypocrisy, sexism and rape culture.

      • Gangle

        Well, I guess I had better take all those photos of me on holidays in my bikini out of their frames and off the walls. Because apparently my immodest bikini-wearing butt is only interested in being slutty and showing off to boys for sexual attention.

      • Persistent Cat

        Becky, because a young woman posts a picture of herself in a bikini or other “state of undress,” she isn’t a responsible young woman? And what about the boys in their bathing suits flexing for the camera? Are they responsible? Because in that picture, they’re telling me to notice them, their muscles and their strength. They are showing off and looking for just as much attention as the girl in her bikini is. Truth.

        Mrs. Hall does not care about those girls, she’s being condescending and judgemental. She should worry about her own sons and how they perceive women. Focus on her own family and stop judging everyone else’s.

    • Mystik Spiral

      Great. Another pack of douchebag dudebros(tm) unleashed upon the world.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        There’s that ™ again!

      • Mystik Spiral

        Haha. I was just hoping that I used it appropriately.

    • NicknamesAreDull

      Why aren’t those boys in bras?!

      • chomps

        *snort*

    • Blueathena623

      I did all sorts of activities in the outside world today without wearing a bra. Somehow I survived.

      • disqus_RcnfTzAghr

        I only own two bras… one for jogging and one for my husband’s benefit… I don’t wear them day to day because there really isn’t much there to lift.
        I better avoid Mrs.Hall and her sons, they won’t be able to unsee me.

    • Michelle Pittman

      Well of course it’s the girls’ faults…everyone knows that teenage boys have absolutely no control over their thoughts, feelings or actions which is why they only rape scantily clad young women…they can’t help it and the girls should know better than dressing in such a way that makes boys want to rape them *eye roll*

    • Byron

      I blame the gray area/variance and lack of knowledge regarding female arousal/turn-ons for this!

      Simply put, everyone knows what a guy needs to see to get turned on. Any straight male would likely want to see a girl in a towel or in a suggestive pose. It’s wide-spread enough to allow for generalization which is rational and often enough true.

      Women on the other hand have such a wide and unspecified array of turn-ons as well as stigma about sharing them with others comfortably in the way men do that you can’t really set in stone if that picture of the boys is a turn-on or not.

      One can rationally assume they just wanna seem “strong” rather than “seductive” by flexing in those pictures. If it’s a girl in a bikiny shoving her butt at the camera, there’s…much less space for speculation about her intentions. She is seen as trying to titilate, and then repressed mothers lose their shit.

      This is a double standard because the girl has the knowledge of her sexuality and that she can cause reactions to males (which she may want to cause) while dudes I guarantee you never think “I’ll flex my pecks like this and suddenly every girl who sees me will start feeling moist down there.” unless they’re huge egomaniacs or something.

      Most dudes just try to seem cool or strong or something when they take pictures with their swimsuits, they aren’t posed in a way that is a pintpoint strike at turning on women. They’re likely unaware of that potential of the picture being on the table. The girl which takes a picture in her towel though, she knows what people who see her will think. The fact that she proceeds to take the picture DESPITE this knowledge is what I think causes the backlash.

      • Blueathena623

        This makes no sense. There is a whole trope about guys flexing their arms so girls can feel the bicep. And how many times have we seen the cheesy scenario of some guy doing exercise, he sees a pretty woman, and suddenly he amps up the exercise (like he goes from counting 1, 2, 99, 100 for push-ups, or suddenly grabs the bigger weight).
        If men want to seem strong — why? Because the stereotype is that strength is attractive to women.

      • Byron

        Nah, strength is intrinsically desirable. Feeling strong is awesome. Flexing for women to touch your pecks and flexing in a family picture with an 8 year old girl sitting on top of your shoulders is not the same. It’s just a naive and fun-feeling thing to do, I guarantee you sex doesn’t even come in those kids minds. I mean, if you wanted to feel sexually attractive, would you take a picture with 4 of your siblings in it? I sure wouldn’t.

        That cheesy scenario is that, cheesy fantasy without much reality in it. Would you start getting hot and bothered if some guy flexed his muscular arm at you? I’ve never known a girl aroused by such a silly display. If only it was that easy lol.

      • Blueathena623

        And what if the boys took a picture of him self flexing and posted it? Would that be sexual?

        And yes, a good looking guy flexing some muscles would have an effect on me. Just cause I don’t get a tent in my pants in 10 seconds doesn’t mean I’m not turned on. Actually, I’ll go ahead and admit that I think those three teen guys are hot in that lanky, narrow-hipped youthful way.

      • Byron

        Sure, though that’d be a different picture than the one this lady posted here and I assume (or…hope) she’d have similar issues with it.

        And that’s good for you hehe, now if only men knew to assume to flex if they want your attention in the same way you know what to do to get them turned on. Of course you don’t need to pitch a tent to be aroused, nor does it need to be outwardly visible, it just needs to be expected to take place by the one doing whatever it is they’re doing.

        The point is that there needs to be intent to tantalize. Having knowledge that the image or behavior will be arousing and going along with it is a big choice for one to make.

        Even if some hot guy jokingly flexed for you, sadly for you I feel he would severely underestimate the effect it’d have on you. At least when contrasting that effect to the effect you’d have on him were you to manipulate your chest suggestively or sit in a revealing way while wearing a skirt do one of the other million things that are instantly effective in a way that leaves little doubts about what’s transpiring. When a guy’s flexing for you he’s not thinking “bed or couch”, it’s still quite a few steps removed, even if he’s actually using flexing as a way to legitimately woo you. (which…sounds extremely lame to me, though I guess I don’t hang out in gyms and I am somewhat younger than the average person here so it may just be generational)

      • Blueathena623

        Keep in mind right now that you’re comparing something with a lot of components with just one component, so maybe that’s why you’re having difficulty imagining it. A guy just flexing a biceps would be akin to a woman cocking her hip. A woman just cocking her hip isn’t sexy — she just looks like she has scoliosis. However, add the hip with a little back arch, bring out the chest, inhale, chin slightly down but eyes looking up, etc., and you have sexy. And the fact that she has hips and boobs means that she has estrogen and thus probably has typical estrogen body and facial characteristics. Even if he waxed and has makeup and boob implants, I doubt many straight men would find Jon Hamm sexy if he took up the same pose.
        So therefore, yes, some guy just randomly making his bicep jump may not make my loins quiver. But the good muscle tone probably means he has good testosterone which probably means he has typical testosterone body and facial features. And that is general pretty sexy.
        And for the record, in season one of Mad Men, even Don Draper pulled the 1,2,99,100 trick for push-ups.
        But we have veered so off topic thst the topic isn’t even visible in the rear view mirror anymore.

      • AmazingE

        Can I just say Jon Hamm dressed like a woman (fake boobs and all), really does something for me? Cos it does.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        where can i see this?

      • AmazingE

        Unfortunately the image seems to only exist in my head, but if I could paint you a picture, I totally would, because trust me, it is FANTASTIC.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

        We need to make this happen

      • aliceblue

        “unless they’re huge egomaniacs or something.” Yeah, I’m sure no one here knows of any guys like that. I’m sure I’m the only one who has heard guys taking to each other saying “yeah, she wants me” or “yeah, I’d do her” about a woman who wouldn’t give them the time of day.

      • Byron

        I never said there aren’t lots of egomaniacs out there or that this kind of thing never happens. Idiocy is rampart, I think in both sexes. That’s kinda besides my point though.

      • Persistent Cat

        Men like to see women with great bodies and women like to see men with great bodies (heterosexually speaking). But different things turn people on. Thing is, not all men like huge breasts and not all women like huge muscles, etc etc. You’ve obviously never been near a group of straight women when a guy with a great body walks by. They get vulgar. I was in London a few months ago with a female colleague and we would go into disgustingly graphic detail about what we’d do to Daniel Craig every time we’d see a James Bond ad on a bus go by. Hell, the scene of Daniel Craig coming out of the water in his bathing suit in Casino Royale wasn’t supposed to be in the movie but the gasps from all the women onset made them add the scene.

        The zillions of selfies of men with their shirts pulled up to show off abs are taken to show off to both sexes (for different reasons). Straight guys want to impress women with their strength, hence the stupid flexing pictures.

    • Daisy

      Hahaha I saw one of my friends posted a link to this on Facebook today, and my very first thought was, “I should send this to Mommyish! They’d be all over that!” And then I came over here and saw you’d just put up this article! Spooky :P
      (So instead I just left a ranting comment under my friend’s link about why I disagreed with everything in it.)

    • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

      The only time I miss being a teen girl is when I think of how wicked I must’ve looked in a bathing suit. I’ll never know for sure because I was too body conscious to have a picture taken of myself. Shame.
      I’m glad these girls are recording photographic evidence of themselves while they’re young and at the height of their hotness. Now that I’ve had a baby I think back and consider that prior to this I was rocking a decent body I didn’t appreciate.
      So these girls are celebrating their beauty. Good for them. They’ll look back at these pics with a little embarrassment maybe, but also some fondness. Like the woman in the Titanic movie over her nude drawing, “Wasn’t I a dish?”

    • Melissa T

      Oh man, I was wondering when this would hit the Mommyish waves. ;) This has been all over my FB, with the majority of my usually very thoughtful friends going “YES!”. I wrote this in response to a friend’s posting: Except that it’s not just a candid shot of kids playing on the beach, or even a neutrally posed group photo. Her boys are flexing their muscles. That is the male equivalent of the duck face. The OTHER thing I’m bothered by is that her message essentially equates to boys have no ability to control their eyes or their lust. ALL of the responsibility for THEIR response is placed on the girl. That is EXACTLY why rape culture is so pervasive. We should teach our girls to respect their bodies and to respect other people’s sensitivities, absolutely. But we should also teach our boys to respect their bodies and respect girls bodies and other people’s sensitivities. Instead of teaching girls a list of things to do to avoid getting raped (which is truthfully about nothing…old women traveling in public in daylight in full burqas get raped), how about we teach our boys to not rape? To respect the word no? That their lust is their own problem? That Jesus said if you look at a women lustfully the problem lies with you, not with her, and if you can’t control your eyes, to gouge them out? Yeah.

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    • Justme

      I know this article is about this lady and her statements, but can we talk about what EVERY teenager is putting up on Facebook, twitter and Instagram?ip I teach middle school and the VAST majority of the drama (yes, typically the girls, but especially with this group we have right now) somehow involves technology.

    • Ginny

      The double-standard will always be there. This writer is an idiot. No girl I know wears a bra before going to bed. As much as I despise selfies, I don’t see anything wrong with posting a few in pajamas.

      • Jessie

        Pajamas are fine, no bra with back arched and duck face on a 14 year old girl is not fine. We need to teach our girls they don’t need to act like that and it’s not for the sake of some boy it’s because they respect themselves.

      • Ginny

        I am a teenage girl. Some are for attention, yes, but some are just for poking fun at the girls who take it seriously.

    • Edify

      Besides the slut shamey stuff, does anyone else find her whole “if you are friends with a Hall boy, you are friends with the Hall family” schtick a bit weird? My kids are young so I haven’t needed to figure out the parenting the Internet thing yet but it seems to me that her approach doesn’t really allow them intimate private friendships (not just with girls) of which online in now an extension. i feel there should be a balance between monitoring it and being this involved. The friendships you make can be an important part of forming your identity and how you manage relationships as an adult. I imagine it would be hard to be in a relationship with those boys without feeling their interference. Is that just me?

    • Maddi

      This sounds like a woman who has taught her sons how to objectify and over-sexualise women and girls. Sigh.

    • marisa

      YES on double standard and YES that teenage girls are way bigger slutbags than in 1985 when we were all on coke and still wore more clothes than these 13 year-olds. My husband’s girlfriend was 14 when he was a freshman in college (her 3rd sexual partner, his first). Her parents and my in-laws didn’t care. Fast forward to her 30′s and the blog posts she writes about wishing she hadn’t been such a ho and that her parents would have been more attentive. Bravo, Ms. Hall for actually giving a shit about what the teens in your hood are doing.

      • LoveyDovey

        Missing the point 101.

      • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter
      • aliceblue

        She doesn’t care about the teens. She is just worried that they will “trap” one her precious sons.

      • Persistent Cat

        She’s being judgemental, she’s not giving a shit. And your husband was dating an underage girl so he’s the one I have issues with here. Also, why are you following her blog (assuming everything you wrote is true, which it probably isn’t)?

      • Gangle

        Wow. So you are really comfortable about letting the world know that your husband committed repeated statutory rape on a child, and with his own parents blessing no less. Nice. And you have the audacity to judge his ex-girlfriend? Since you also feel comfortable referring to his ex as a ‘ho’, I can only guess that you are extremely insecure and jealous of your husbands old relationship. Nice work, marisa.

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    • TngldBlue

      Wow that’s a whole lot of backpedal.

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    • talonsage

      *eye roll*

      That’s about all I can summon up for the Hall dumbass.

      Even IF she made some kind of decent point in her double-crossing post, whatever it is is lost by the fact that she seems to roll in slut-shaming.

      And the fact that she changed the pictures? Just not the brightest bulb in the box, are you sweetheart.

    • ElleJai

      I liked these responses:

      http://unchainedfaith.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-mom-of-teenage-boys/

      http://rebeccahains.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/a-response-to-mrs-hall-teaching-our-boys-respect-and-self-control/

      I think those cover pretty much everything I want to say on the subject that is fit for polite reading :)

    • halley
    • rjw

      interesting debate… i think what kimberly inadvertently exposes with her ‘blog post’ is the widespread complete and total hatred for any notion of sexual modesty. koa and her ilk would rather support child porn then agree with a christian. so, we get some mind numbing response about how it’s sooooo hypercritical that kimberly spoke out against young pre-teen girls posting sexually suggestive photos, while she herself has photos of her boys on the beach… in their swimsuits… WTF or WTMFFFF

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    • Badger96

      “UPDATE: Kimberly Hall host posted a new version of her original letter, entitled “FYI #2 (the one where everyone’s covered up),” in which she has posted pictures of her sons not in swimsuits.”

      Thus proving that she has actually missed the entire point of why her post was so offensive. The double-standard of the boys in swimsuits was only half the problem.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      This reminds me of something that happened when I was in high school. One of my house chores was mowing the (backyard, fully walled in with 6 ft tall wall) lawn. Given that we live in Phoenix, AZ, I would do this in a bikini to avoid getting too hot, avoid getting my clothes sweaty, and to work on my tan. We had a wooden gate (6 feet tall) that, like most wooden gates, did have some space between the slats. One day, the dad of a neighbor boy who lived like 7 houses down came over and told my mom I needed to stop parading around in my bikini where his son could see (I think the family was fairly religious). My mom asked when this had happened, because sometimes I would wear my bikini top to wash my car (with shorts over my bottoms). He mentioned a day that I had been mowing the lawn. My mom mentioned that I had been in the backyard and the only way his son could see me would have been to stare at me through the slats in our gate. The dad shrugged his shoulders and said I needed to be more modest, even in my own backyard.
      Short version: His son creeped and peeped into my backyard, and he was blaming me. How f*cking creepy can you get?!

    • BC4UColorado

      Couldn’t agree more. Slut-shaming is not the answer.

      We at BC4U hope that if there’s one thing teens do, it’s protect themselves if and when they decide to have sex. We’re working to dispel myths about birth control and made a funny video in the hopes it will encourage safe sex and responsibility, should teens decide to be sexually active. See our video here: http://t.co/CCkNwVEU9V

    • Mr “old school” Moore

      I think both groups need to grow up.
      The boys are in swim trunks so…
      If girls are posing in a suggestive manner their parents need coaching.
      boys will always be boys, there is nothing wrong with boys flexing.boys will flex in front of me in and women.
      Girls however, they know how to pose and smile, just like boys know how to do.
      I think everybody is getting carried away.
      Taking pictures for the most part is supposed to be fun.
      The truth is parents need to take responsibility for their children’s actions. Monitor your children when they are taking these pictures, monitor your children when they are online. Stop trying to be a cool mom and dad. Stop trying to blame Society for your kids getting into trouble, and take responsibility for your parenting skills.
      If your child gets kidnapped,raped, or molested, half of the responsibility should be placed on the parents of the victims.
      Let’s get back to basics.
      I’m sure everybody can remember their parents telling them not to talk to strangers, or accept money or candy from strangers, and we all know that our parents use to keep an eye on us even though we could not see them.
      when the situation came about, your parents were there to intercept the transaction.

      Same rules apply for this new age era, when your kids are on Facebook, or using that cell phone that you provided them with, you, being the parent need to see what they are sending and receiving.

      it is really all common sense, stop making the situation worse than what it really is, and stop trying to blame everybody else.
      and stop trying to ruin everybody else’s life because you don’t have yours together.
      Grow up America.

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