I jest – sort of. After the baby is born, it’s all baby – all the time. Everyone wants to talk about the baby and bring the baby gifts. You may be left wondering where the hell your gifts are; I mean, you are the one that just grew and birthed a baby, after all. The baby didn’t do shit, am I right? Here are a list of things that you can get/do for yourself if you are a new mom that will make feel a little loved and pampered.
1. A killer robe
Get a robe. Not a thick, terrycloth bathrobe – something soft and silky. It doesn’t have to be satin if swank isn’t your thing – they make great modal cotton ones now, too. There will be various times when even putting on clothes seems like the most exhausting thing on the planet. Get a robe, and you won’t have to. This is one of those rare times in life when people don’t really question anything you wear. Go with it.
2. A nursing bra
Guess what? This doesn’t only apply to those who are nursing. Your boobs will probably still be really huge for a while, and there are some cotton nursing bras that are really comfy. I bought one that crosses over and allows your boob to just flop out easily when you need to feed baby. It is really comfortable. It may seem like is nursing bra is for the baby, but it’s not. I can’t be the only one who has tried to nurse over an underwire bra. I don’t think there is anything more uncomfortable than squeezing your boob out of one of those. Trust me – get a nursing bra.
3. Fancy face wash
After you’ve had a baby, it can feel like your body is not your own. It may take a little while to feel like yourself again and that’s okay. One thing you can do for yourself is really care for a part of your body that hasn’t been ravaged by pregnancy – your face. Occasionally companies will send me samples of stuff because I write about mom-things for a living. After my pregnancy, a company called Belli Skincare sent me some face wash that rocked my world. Seriously – it made my skin glow and it was nice to indulge and care for something that had nothing to do with my baby – or my baby body for that matter.
4. An amazing lipstick
I am a firm believer in red lipstick. I think it looks great on everyone – even people who insist it doesn’t look good on them. If you’ve never worn it, borrow some from a friend, put it on, go out, and see what happens. I bet you anything someone will compliment you about how “great” you look. It’s normal to feel a little frumpy for a while after giving birth – and red lipstick is magic. It’s like instant glamour. I have a personal favorite – it’s made by Guerlain and it’s called “Rouge d’Enfer” which translates to “red of hell” or something equally as hot.
5. Yoga pants
A woman in yoga pants is one of the biggest “mom stereotypes” out there – and the brunt of many a mom joke. Who cares? Yoga pants are comfortable as hell. It’s like your clothing is giving you a hug. Who doesn’t need a hug?
6. Breast milk alcohol test strips
You have a new baby. You are exhausted. I bet you’d really like a nice glass of wine after a long day of mothering. Well, now you can have a second glass without freaking out about how big it is. If you ever think you’ve had a little too much, you can dip an alcohol test strip into your milk. If there is alcohol in the sample, give the baby expressed milk or wait a while and test again. Oh, and the whole “pump and dump” thing is a myth. You don’t have to do that. Alcohol leaves your breast milk the same way it leaves the bloodstream – eventually. No need to waste precious milk.
7. Some alone time
You are not a horrible mother if you leave your newborn for a few hours, understood? Leave the house by yourself without an infant tethered to you – it will do you some good.
8. Happy people and lots of laughter
Surround yourself with the right people. Your life is probably pretty intense right now. Make sure you make time for people who have a good attitude and make you happy. No soul-suckers allowed, even if they are in your family. You have a small window of time when you are a new mom to say whatever the hell you want – people still treat you with pregnancy-kid-gloves for a little while. Take advantage of this time to tell those that don’t make you happy to back the fuck off.
9. A spa day
Get a massage. Get a foot rub. Get a facial. If you can’t afford anything fancy – get a pedicure. Go out and pay for someone to focus on one part of your body and rub it down. You deserve it.
10. Wine, sushi, a triple espresso, fancy French cheese, deli meat, etc.
Don’t forget you can have all this stuff now. Do it. I advise you pretend that you still aren’t allowed to clean the litter box though.