Idiot Apparently Uses Throwback Justin Bieber-Style Wig To Pick Up 13-Year-Old Girls

Wagner 2Back in May, John Eastman of Waterbury Connecticut devised a disturbing strategy for picking up on teenage and preteen girls by tapping into the heartthrob status of Harry Styles online. Full blown moron and Florida resident Jordan Wagner developed a similar approach. Of course, Wagner’s imitation leaves plenty to be desired, and might just be the most idiotic thing I’ve seen a pedophile do. Let’s just say it involves the ugliest Justin Bieber wig ever made.

Wagner, of Altamonte Springs, was arrested Monday (his third arrest in a MONTH) for allegedly having sex with a minor. He was charged with lewd and lascivious molestation, traveling to meet a minor for sexual activity and transmitting harmful material to a minor. If being seriously stupid was illegal they would have charged him with that too. Why? Because of this…

Jordan Wagner 2

According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, THIS is what he wore to try to pick up young girls from the internet, apparently trying to disguise himself as a teenager. OR the oldest and lamest Justin Bieber impersonator ever, I’m not sure. Wagner would don this lovely hair piece and tell girls (13-year-olds or younger) that he was just 16, instead of his actual age of 23. This is AFTER being arrested twice before in the past couple of weeks for other perv-related activities.

Police believe he has at least four victims. He was arrested back on July 19th for 10 counts of possession of child porn (he was released after posting approximately $10,000 bond). He was THEN arrested again on August 9th for solicitation of a minor, and released AGAIN (who the fuck is giving this asshole bond money?)

A mere TWO days after being released he was back on the computer chatting with under-aged kids and he was caught in a Chris Hansen-style bust after agreeing to meet and have sex with a cop posing as a 13-year-old child.

According to FDLE Special Agent Supervisor Jeffrey Duncan, Wagner is a serous threat who acted like he had nothing to lose:

“He did not worry about traveling outside of the Altamonte Springs area and being a 23 year old. He is not concerned about meeting a 13 year old and engage in sexual activity.”

With such a high bond this time (more than $100,000 rather than $10,000), hopefully he won’t be able to walk out of jail so easily. I ALSO hope that the photo above haunts this guy, because not only is he stupid enough to think that wearing a Justin Bieber wig is a great way to pick up girls, but he can’t even go a freaking month without being arrested for being a perv.

(Photos: Florida Department of Law Enforcement)

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  • Eve Vawter

    He looks like when that Garth Brookes guy did his rocker thing. what an überdouche

    • TwentiSomething Mom

      He does! lol

    • ScottA

      Looks more like David Copperfield to me. And that soul patch deserves to be plucked. One hair at a time.

    • Frances Locke

      This seems appropriate.

  • Danielle


  • TwentiSomething Mom

    He should not be eligible for bond at all this time. If he somehow gets the cash to get out, he will continue doing what he’s been doing. So sick and scary I hope he never gets out.

  • Hibbie

    Is it rapist/pedophile day here on Mommyish? Y’all are in need of a few humorous, delightfully .gifed (?) articles STAT.

    • Frances Locke

      Well, there WAS my post about middle child syndome earlier. And I couldn’t resist this story, the wig is just too much.

  • Rachel Sea

    Some people are too stupid and screwed up to live amongst the general public. Can we just call this three strikes, and lock him (and his creepy wig) up forever, and ever?

    • Frances Locke

      I think the wig should get its own cell.

  • Amber Starr

    Ugh. What a colossal scumbag.

  • Amber

    I don’t really see how he’s so stupid for wearing the wig since he has succeeded in having sex with multiple teenage girls.

    He’s stupid for getting caught and he’s evil for having sex with kids but apparently the wig works.

  • Muggle

    I don’t know if he’s that much of an idiot if he succeeded. It wouldn’t be hard for a 23-year-old to pass as a slightly older-looking 16-year-old with a Justin Bieber-style wig.

    …which his wig isn’t, it looks like an emo kid wig. But anyway.

    Who the fuck gave this gross asshole bond money? And why the fuck was he even allowed bail after two related offenses within weeks of each other?