• Fri, Jul 26 - 1:36 pm ET

10 Mommy Words I Hate

Contemporary parenthood, if you’re a lady, is rife with all kinds of cutesy terminology that I personally cannot stand. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a house where my grandmother visibly cringed at words like “panties” but it’s getting to the point where I can’t even do my proper Mommyish reporting without drowning in the following ridiculous — and honestly infantalizing — terminology. Are we mommies or 4-year-olds ourselves?

1. “Push Present”

push present

Normally, I’m a big fan of alliteration but I just can’t with this one. I’m not quite sure whether it’s just the fact that this word is becoming synonymous with gold digging money grubbing lady stereotypes or that pushing out a human warrants shiny jewelry. Either way, I downvote this nonsense.

(photo:  younona_1307)

2. “Playdate”

playdate

When I was a kid, which honestly wasn’t THAT long ago, it was just called going over to some friend’s house. Now that the childhood staple has been upgraded to a term that implies your spawn and someone else’s kid playing tennis and bridge — or something. Unless there is a legitimate date happening here, which probably isn’t happening until your kids are at least teenagers, I have little tolerance for the image of toddlers in cashmere sweaters drinking Tom Collins.

(photo: Christian Montone)

3. “Mummy Tummy”

afterbirthtummy

Just no with this bullshit. We have enough derogatory tabloid terms for women’s bodies as it is. We do not need to add yet another cutesy, back-handed way of describing women after they give birth.

(photo:  mattyG1553)

4. “Tummy Tuck”

shutterstock_115501312

If grownass women want to get LIPOSUCTION or cosmetic abdominal surgery, that’s their prerogative but can they please sound like grownass women when they get it done? LIPOSUCTION is a serious elective surgery that adults get for an array of personal reasons. “Tummy tuck” sounds like you’re 15 and throwing in an extra spa service while you’re getting your brows done.

(photo: Piotr Marcinski / Shutterstock)

5. “Hubby”

1950scouple

I’m guilty of using this one from time to time in my Mommyish tenure, usually when I’ve had too much caffeine and Eve Vawter is distracting me with awesome GIFs. Truthfully, I have no concrete reason for disliking this word other than my approximate distaste for pet names for other people’s partners. And “hubby” sounds like you two coo at one another on double dates and probably call one another “bunny” at dinner parties. But come to think of it, I’m guilty of doing that too.

(photo: clappstar)

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  • CK

    I hate the “push present”, too. Isn’t the gift the child that you get after pushing? Ridiculous!

    • momjones

      What the hell…push present? The only thing I wanted to do was push. I didn’t need a damn present to do it.

    • Anika

      My parents got me a Kindle so I could read while the baby slept on me. I thought it was very thoughtful. It doesn’t mean that my child wasn’t good enough and I needed something else too to appreciate a thoughtful gesture.

    • CMJ

      I don’t think it’s the thoughtful gift/gesture that’s the issue…it’s the actual phrase “push present” and the sometimes extreme nature/demand these presents take on.

    • jaybee

      The phrase is tacky, but yeah I wanted the Surburban with the private school logo on the back. Sorry, just me.

    • CK

      I guess I just see the need for a present given to someone who did something that millions of women before them did, with no (or little) complaint, and show. What’s next? A card every time you breathe?

    • jaybee

      Its likely the husband (or gift-giver) doesn’t think about the other millions of women – just the special one he loves. =) Again, the terminology is tacky – but I could care less what someones family had the budget to do. =)

    • CK

      I always associate a “push present” with a woman angling for another gift. If the husband, or family wants to give a gift, that’s fine. That’s not what I associate with the term, “push present”, though.

    • jaybee

      OIC. Maybe I got the term all wrong then. I see it as family gift for the new mom, almost a first Mother’s Day thing – we were older parents then most =)

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Amanda Low

      THANK YOU. That’s exactly what I was going to say. The newborn baby was kind of the ultimate push present.

  • Stephanie

    Liposuction and a tummy tuck are two separate procedures. In lipo, fat is removed. In a tummy tuck, excess skin is removed and the abdomen is “tucked” under, thus the name. “Tummy tuck” isn’t just a cutesy name for abdominal lipo, it’s its own surgery.

    • Koa_Beck

      I vote cosmetic abdominal surgery. Or CAS! Thoughts?

    • Stephanie

      I can get behind “abdominal surgery”!

    • Erica

      I believe the technical term is “abdominoplasty”

      ….tummy tuck is just easier.

  • guest

    “Hubby” and “Playdate” make me visibly cringe. I also can’t STAND when someone says her child is a “free spirit.” I have a friend on fb who takes “artsy” photos of her kids and captions them with: “Playing in the /dirt/. What a free spirit!” “She colored on her sister with markers…I LOVE what a free spirit this kid is!” shutupshutupSHUTUP

    • Ally

      Any version of “hubby” too: “the hubs” makes me want to kick people.

    • Justme

      I find that “free spirit” is usually code word for “I don’t believe in discipline.”

    • Lou

      Or, “I don’t know how to control my child’s poor behaviour”

    • Roberta

      I work with “free spirits”. They crush my “free spirit”. Seriously, it’s called telling your kid to knock it off, also known as parenting.

  • libraryofbird

    I hate when people use DH,DD,DS etc…

    • Véronique Houde

      i’m always racking my brain trying to figure out what those damn words mean!!

    • http://oldnewberries.blogspot.com/ Melanie Makin

      I don’t mind those so much on *forums*, where it makes sense to abbreviate. But in everyday communication, no. Just, no.

    • Cee

      THANK YOU!

    • Lauren

      Just when I got used to DH, DD etc, people starting using OH and LO. Arghh!!

    • Kat

      Wait, OH?

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      I’m confused on that one as well.

      The thing that confused me the most was on the fertility forum I followed while trying to get pregnant this time. They used abbreviations like AF and BFP or BFN. So confusing.

    • AStewart

      Other Half? I would guess. It riles me up though, it is very twee. And so many permutations depending on the circumstance! For BF do they mean boyfriend, breastfeeding, bi-folding doors?

    • LiteBrite

      I use it in online communication (like here) only because a) I don’t like to use my husband’s real name and b) it’s quicker than typing out “my husband.” I wouldn’t use it in regular communication though.

  • Justme

    “Playdate” doesn’t really bother me because what it mostly means (to me) is that the kids get to play and my friend and I bust out a bottle of wine, a plate of cheese and crackers and sit on the couch to catch up. “Playdate” has a very positive connotation for me. :)

  • Thomas Williams

    My word is “kiddo”. I even blogged about it the other day: https://twinsandthen.wordpress.com/2013/07/23/mini-post-parenting-things-that-annoy-me/

    • CK

      I loathe that word! I hate any variation of it, too (kidlet, etc). It drives me batty!

  • Blahblah

    I seriously hate the idea of a push present. Like, what do I do? Refuse to expel the child from my vagina unless I get another bauble?

    • Véronique Houde

      all i wanted was some flowers. and i got the biggest damn bouquet of my life. that was awesome :)

    • http://abasketcase.blogspot.com/ Basketcase

      I would have settled for some flowers. Or chocolates. I should have bought them for myself though…

    • Kim

      I wanted sushi. But after my husband inspected the hospital cafeteria sushi and reported back, we decided that it was probably best for me not to get any sushi until later.

    • raeronola

      I was gifted with a gigantic piece of peach pie, which I ate while drifting in and out of my morphine coma. it was glorious.

    • Emil

      I don’t know, I just see it as a token of appreciation, kind of like a mother’s day present. I got a book from my favorite author. Which of course I never read because, you know, I had a newborn to take care of.

    • Madame Ovaries

      What a thoughtful present (push or otherwise)! This is actually the kind of present after giving birth I can get behind: something special just for mom that, unlike everything else you have been getting lately, is not for the newborn. Too bad it wasn’t an audio book you could listen to while folding onesies, amirite? :-)

    • notorious

      I don’t agree with push presents – but a book or flowers don’t bother me as much as ladies Ive read about getting jewelry and, in one instance, a new car (!). Also, I read TONS of books when my kids were newborns… what else was I supposed to do while I was feeding them? Stare at them with reverence for 20-30 minutes 10 times a day?

    • Emil

      Your brain was functioning a lot better than mine. I couldn’t concentrate on anything the first few months. I also couldn’t coordinate nursing + holding a book. Just watched a lot of bad TV.

    • notorious

      I actually needed the distraction of reading, I had pretty bad PPD that showed up as mainly anxiety, and if my mind wasn’t busy with something I would spin off into crazy land thinking of all the bad things that were sure to happen any minute. It took some practice to hold the book at the same time, but I think it was worth it. Ive seen women on other forums who say they are ‘nursing at the keyboard’ – I never could master that.

  • guest

    I have a funny story about MILF. I work at a university and a co-worker asked me what it meant. When I asked why, she told me that a student had written it in a professor evaluation (the type they use for deciding who gets tenure).

  • Talija

    You better believe I demanded a push present. Months in advance I told my husband what I wanted, and even though my labour was only 27 minutes, you know I still would have had a tantrum otherwise. I had gestational diabetes, bad, I’d had to give up all bread-type products (only pita and tortilla didn’t make my blood sugar spike out of control). So I told him if he didn’t have a chicken club sandwich and a chocolate doughnut to present me with, extreme pain would follow.

    But I don’t get this concept of expecting jewellery or cars or other stupidly expensive things.

  • http://oldnewberries.blogspot.com/ Melanie Makin

    Can we add “sexy mama” to the list for those on this side of the pond?

    • jaybee

      I actually like it when I’m told that, but I’m a gym rat also. =)

    • http://oldnewberries.blogspot.com/ Melanie Makin

      Nothing wrong with looking your best, but I hate the implication that the most important thing in my life after having a baby is looking attractive to *you*. Pig. :-p

    • jaybee

      I guess its all in how you hear it and from whom.

    • Guest

      I hate when anyone besides my children calls me mama.

  • Carinn Jade

    I actually hate the word Mommy, unless it’s coming from my own children. No one else. Not my husband, my mother, my friend or a stranger. It makes me cringe. Now Mommyish? That’s a word I love <3

  • JAL

    I hate “hot mama.” I also hate when people call children “mama.” Or maybe I just hate people.

  • Meg

    I have always hated “baby bump”.

  • D

    Can we add “babymoon” to this list?

  • missiemeghan

    Preggers and baby bump.

  • Tea

    I hate “Baby Bump”, it just squicks me for some reason. That and “Preggo.” Mummy Tummy is one I had not heard before and don’t care to again.

    I also get really creeped out when anyone but the children of ____ call someone “Mom” or “dad. I have no idea why, but it just bugged me that my step mother kept calling my father “Dad” whenever she was talking to me.

    • Kat

      Ugh, preggo and preggers. If you’re going to have a baby, it’s time to grow up and use real words to describe it.

      And yes, but even worse is when people unrelated to the baby call the parents by Mom or Dad. That’s as irritating as everyone referring to babies as, “Baby” (lay Baby on his back, feed Baby every two hours, etc.)

  • koolchicken

    In an effort to be difficult I went to buy the Yummy Mummy pouch. Tragically Bambina’s etsy shop is closed for the summer holiday. It looks like my willful rebelliousness will have to wait until fall.

    • koolchicken

      Oh my, they’re back up. :D

  • jaybee

    I’ve heard many say “Wow, she has mom arms”……..I never knew what that meant.

    • waffre

      It means you have nicely toned and muscular arms from lifting your kids all the time. Or at least it should ;)

  • Lisa

    How about “tiger stripes” for stretch marks? Makes me shudder every time.

    • EmmaFromÉire

      Thank you! a cousin of mine is constantly sharing those BS motivational photos on facebooks about tigers earning their stripes. Pass me the bucket.

  • MoD

    I’m another vote for disliking “baby bump”. Ugh.

  • http://wtfimalmostthirty.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    Do you still get a “push present” if you had a C section? Maybe I should have badgered my hubby for a “lying down like Jesus while baby was extracted” present. Something sexy, preferably, so I can be a MILF.

    • MammaSweetpea

      If only! I had 3 C’s so I’ve got a lot of goods owed to me!! LOL!

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      “Lying down like Jesus while baby was extracted.”

      LOVE THIS!

  • Madame Ovaries

    I ALSO HATE “HUBBY,” THANK YOU! I feel like it is usually said when women just really wanna celebrate the fact that they are married, which feels gross. I usually want to forget that I’m married and watch Michael Fassbender movies…j/k, hubby!

    • Ptownsteveschick

      I hate hubby, but use it anyway, not because I am trying to rub in the fact that we are married(cuz we aren’t!) but because typing out husband is annoying all the time, I am lazy, and writing “the guy I have been engaged to for 4 1/2 years but don’t marry so I can have free healthcare for one more year then we probably will get around to it.” is really difficult and takes up too much space on twitter :P

  • MammaSweetpea

    Reading all these phrases in one space enlightens me: ‘they’ or ‘society’ has found a way to continue to infantalize (?) women and dumb down our various bodily functions. Exhibit A: ads for pads and tampons. Running in slow mo through a field filled with daisies? Give me an effin break! Wearing white and dancing til dawn? Not even if I was wearing armour would I wear white during my period. But the whole idea that periods are AWESOME TECHNICOLOUR LOVE FESTS pisses me off!!
    And now its all about making pregnancy all cute n cuddly, and by getting back to our Pre Baby Body its like nothing ever happened!! Like the baby was never inside and pushed out/pulled out covered in blood and mucous and various other fluids.
    And for the freakin record, my post and pre baby bodies were fairly similar so where does that leave me? Not on the cover of people that’s for damn sure.

  • LiteBrite

    I hate Hubby and Cougar too. I was out with some friends a couple of months ago, and a couple of guys called us “cougars.” Dude, I’m not a cougar. I’m more like a fat housecat who wants to lay in the sun and have treats brought to her.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Amanda Low

      Hahaha that’s the best.

  • EcnoTheNeato

    I haven’t heard the term “push present” very often, but whenever I do I always think of poop…

    Am I the only one?

  • Helen Hyde

    I like the term yummy mummy. I have a bag that says it, with a picture of a cupcake! To me, yummy mummy just means I’m a mummy and I can bake. That’s a good thing, because cakes are awesome.

  • Justme

    I hate when people use the term *hugs* on forums and comment threads. It causes me to physically cringe. Probably because I am a huge proponent of personal space and hate when people (especially strangers) are in my bubble. I just picture someone coming up to me and trying to hug me against my will….ugh. *Shudders*

    I also hate the term “nursies” for breastfeeding. I adore my nephews but my SIL is….well….bless her heart, we are just very different people. She extended breastfed all my nephews (fine, whatever) but if her three-year-old bumped his head and was a little weepy she would babytalk him and ask if he wanted “nursies make it aww betta?”

    Again…these are both pretty specific words and reasons but…there you go.

  • Littlecalamari

    “You know what they call old dudes who happen to date hot young things?”

    Dirty old men? At least that’s what I’ve always called them.

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