• Wed, Jul 24 - 3:50 pm ET

Gaggle Of BabyCenter Sanctimommies Want You To Know That Kate And Will Used Their Baby’s Car Seat Incorrectly

royalbabycarseatAll eyes were notably on Kate Middleton and Prince William as they sauntered down the hospital steps with their newborn George Alexander Louis. So it’s rather predictable that among myself, Eve Vawter, and the rest of the world, there was also the Mommy Police — also known as the rabid Internet mommies who are checking your baby’s car seat in your Facebook photos. Will and Kate. They’re just like us!

A BabyCenter piece entitled “Will and Kate’s royal car seat mistake” takes the couple to task for not strapping Prince George the correct way:

As the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge left the hospital today royal-watchers around the world saw a happy couple, a new baby, and the future of the royal succession secured. Watching any new mom and dad with their day-old baby is a joy, even if you aren’t too keen on the whole Royal thing.

But moms in the BabyCenter community noticed something else. Something that only another mom would spot – the new prince was strapped into his car seat in a manner that doesn’t seem to meet UK car seat safety recommendations. Childcarseats.org says, “Make sure the seat’s harness (if it has one) is correctly adjusted for your child. It should be quite tight, so that only one or two fingers can fit between the child’s chest and harness.”

That’s right! While the rest of us saw a glowing K Middy and very proud Prince William who was festively making cracks about his own lack of hair, the sanctimommies of the world looked over and thought YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. According to a thread over at the BabyCenter Community, the conversation started like this:

royalbabycenter1Predictably, the rest of the BabyCenter gaggle chimed in:

royalbabycarseatcommentthread

royalbabycarseatcommentthread2Bringing up Prince William’s dead mother to make a point about child safety? One hundred percent klass.

While BabyCenter does eventually advocate for “cut(ting) them some slack” as new parents, one commenter muses on why the sanctimommy parade took note in the first place:

I think this has gained attention by BC moms, because many of them are judgmental a-holes. They weren’t in the car with Kate and Will, so how on earth would they know? I’m sure the new parents only wanted to swiftly get him in the car because of all the craziness around them.

Once I posted a picture of my newborn (only 5 weeks ago actually) in his because he had a silly hat on. Someone actually called me out for his straps being too loose. Calm down- I always loosen his straps when placing him in and taking him out of his seat. That was the case! I had just pulled into the parking lot and (while in the car *GASP*) I loosened his straps because I was taking him out.

Welcome to parenthood, Will and Kate. You’re officially parents now.

(photo: WENN)

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  • Diana

    God I hate car seat moms. They make me want to drive around with the kids on the roof like my dad used to.

    • Koa_Beck

      You win for best comment of the day.

    • alice

      laughed out loud

    • KLR

      I just spit water all over my desk.

  • Diana

    God I hate car seat moms. They make me want to drive around with the kids on the car roof like my dad used to.

  • SDA

    OMG. I was just reading this on their main “blog” page over there. WOAH! One woman actually commented that there are “no excuses for being a new parent” “she was on top of everything will ALL her kids” blah, blah, blah.

    I’ll never forget the time I got to my destination with my 3 week old, I went to unbuckle her and lo and behold I had never buckled her in the first place. WHOOPS! They would eat me alive over there! ;)

    • thisshortenough

      My granny once tripped while carrying me and to save me from being hurt on concrete she threw me into a bush. Babies are a lot sturdier than these people believe

    • AugustW

      In January I slipped on the front porch steps while holding my 2 year old. I apparently tossed her to the side, and she landed in snow. I ended up with a messed up knee and a bunch of bruises, she was unharmed.
      So yeah, kids are less breakable than some people thing.

    • Tusconian

      I am always amused when small babies who are just walking/crawling fall over or bonk their heads on something and then start to get back to business until their parents start freaking out. Babies literally bounce. To a certain point, you can fling them into still water and they will swim. We’ve survived as a species for a long time, despite being pretty clueless for most of our run, and that’s mostly why.

    • AP

      The swim thing is not true and it’s a very dangerous myth. You also cannot drown-proof a small child- you cannot “drown proof” anyone, of any age.

      I lifeguarded and taught swim lessons for 10 years and have an armful of certifications from various agencies on the topic. I don’t want to be sanctimonious- I want people to spread the word so kids can enjoy being in the pool AND be safe!

    • momjones

      I have two seats in my car for my grandchildren. When I had to take my car in for repairs after my parked car was hit, I took the infant seat out, but left the toddler one in (which was on the side of the damage). Long story short, got my car back, took my granddaughter to the store, not noticing the seat was on the opposite side of where it originally was. It was after I got home and took her out of the seat that I realized that the seat wasn’t anchored (and that the repair shop had moved it). I AM STILL HAVING NIGHTMARES!!!

    • AugustW

      I have looked in the rearview mirror and watched my toddler try to crawl up into the front seat with me. Forgot to strap her in.

    • Litterboxjen

      I’ve done this, too. You and I should both be beaten to a pulp!

      And I’ll confess, I did notice the blanket/car seat issue too, but I said nothing on social media (until now), and I figure that given the entourage likely surrounding them, they’d be driving at about 2km/h home anyhow. :/

    • Véronique Houde

      I totally did this too once after being in -20 degree celsius degree weather and trying to hurry up and put her in the car and get out of there. Yup, never actually tied her down :S…

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      We have ALL done this, well, I have

    • Southern Gal

      My child once undid his OWN buckle. We got to the store and I went to undo it and lo and behold he had already taken care of that. I wanted to die.

      Also, my husband forgot to latch one side of my son’s toddler seat into the car. Only drove once place before i caught it but still… People aren’t perfect they make mistakes.

    • That_Darn_Kat

      I’ve done this, with both kids. I picked them up from my moms, and they were in their carseats, with a blanket over them, asleep. So I just put the carseat in the base, and went home. Noticed their heads leaning forward a lot more, was concerned. Got home, pulled the blanket off, and they weren’t buckled. (This was 2 different kids, 2 years apart). After it happened with my son, I vowed never to assume my mom had buckled my kid in, just because he was in his carseat, lol.

    • Edify

      My husband got the fright of his life when he was driving along and the 18 month old tapped him on the shoulder

  • Beth Boston Gearhart

    I said they probably waited to get into the car to fully position him and a carseat mom jumped all over me and said “no they did not they came out from the hospital and into the car that way. Stop making excuses for irresponsible parenting!” Of course when I looked at her FB photos (because idiot made me MAD) there’s one of her breastfeeding, natch. Just annoying sanctimommy.

    • Rachel Sea

      Because children need to be properly strapped into carseats at all times, even when they are not moving.

      And for the record, Kate was holding him when they left the hospital, he didn’t go into the carseat until later.

    • Charlotte H

      Actually, she wasn’t holding him when they left the hospital. They came out of the hospital holding him to ‘introduce’ him, then went back into the hospital so that THE HOSPITAL STAFF COULD PUT HIM IN A CAR SEAT before they left.

      When I left hospital after being born, my mom held me in her arms all the way home and I did not die. Obviously it was a miracle; I’ve heard that 99.2% of all babies who are not strapped safely into a car seat spontaneously combust as soon as the key goes into the ignition.

    • Maddi

      I laughed so hard at the 2nd bit of your comment!

    • Rachel Sea

      Because children need to be properly strapped into carseats at all times, even when they are not moving. Also they should be rear facing, even when they aren’t in the car, and they should be in a full face helmet and crash pads.

  • Beth Boston Gearhart
  • MamaKara

    I saw the Babycenter post on FB and immediately though of all the sanctimommies who were foaming at the mouth to put in their two cents… Because I’m so sure they have never royally screwed up as new parents…. Pun TOTALLY intended, haha.

    • AugustW

      I have no stones to throw. I swaddled my daughter the exact same way. Luckily I had a nurse stop me and show me the right way. Babies don’t come with how to manuals!

  • Amber

    Some people are just raging cunts when it comes to car seats.

  • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

    Ugh. Reasons why I’ll never post a pic of my kid in a car. She’s been forwarding facing since just over a year, and I’ve got a lot of rear-facing-forever folks on my fb. I totally get that rear facing is safer. However, I don’t even OWN a car, so my kid is in one maybe…once a month, at the most. We took a streetcar home from the hospital; she literally did not go in a carseat again until she was 2 months old.
    We borrowed a baby bucket for the first year (from very close friends with whom I would trust my life) and then got a really good forward facing seat as a gift from my mom for her first birthday. For the 12 times a year my kid is actually in a car, I’d rather her not be screaming her head off and me driving super distracted. But yeah…I still fear being shamed about it, even though I think it really is the best decision considering the circumstances.

    • Sundaydrive00

      I was reading a message board the other day where the moms were talking about how they kept their kids rear facing until they were 6, and anyone who doesn’t has a death wish for their child. And another poster chimed in that she still had her 15 year old in a booster seat. They went to Sweden to get a special seat that had a higher weight limit. Yikes! I’m all for safety, but that can not be good for the girl socially.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      I could see if your kid was extremely small or something, but an average 15-year-old? WTF is up with this crazy world?

    • AugustW

      I think the law is 4foot9inches, which makes me laugh because my aunt is in her late 60′s and shorter than that.

    • Justme

      At 15, I was considerably bigger than my mother. I was about the height I am now just a few (40) pounds lighter. By that logic, my mother should also be in a booster seat.

      I’m just going to believe that her daughter had extenuating health circumstances that precipitated the need for the child to use a booster seat.

    • Ptownsteveschick

      My mom is tiny, she could have definitely been in a booster seat, well into her 20′s. My cousin is similarly tiny and could probably technically be in one. I can only think how socially awkward it must be for those teenagers to give a friend a ride home and their mom busts out her “for company” booster seat.

    • Amber

      Some of the sanctimommies on a website I used to visit were so ridiculous that by their standards, I would have had to be in a booster seat until I was six months pregnant.

      I would need to be in one now too at 32 years old. Yeah, no thanks.

      I think I might have shot myself if my parents had forced me into a car seat all through high school. I’m not being even slightly sarcastic about that either.

    • AugustW

      The only real reason to keep a kid rear facing that long is so you can eat food in the front seat and they can’t ask you for some. :P

    • Tusconian

      I remember being six and dead refusing to sit in the booster seat. Even in kindergarten, rear-facing would be social suicide.

      And they keep raising the weight/height limits for booster seats. My 60-something aunt and 80-whatever grandma should legally be in booster seats, and I am only veeeerrrrry slightly too large.

    • http://www.twitter.com/ohladyjayne allisonjayne

      What the actual what?? So was she allowed to ride in other people’s cars or did she have to carry her booster around?

    • KT

      I’m very petite so there are U. S. manufactured booster seats that would technically hold me. I can drive just fine (no blocks on the petals and theoretically the airbag isn’t going to decapitate me – at least that’s what I was told), but apparently at 29 I still haven’t outgrown a modern booster seat.

    • AugustW

      I had a few mombie friends who didn’t speak to me for a while after I switched to front facing. I waiting until she was a year, like the law says, but my kid is tall. Her knees were bunched up in her face when rear faced.

    • Justme

      If they’re not talking to you because you switched your child to front-facing, I wouldn’t call them friends to begin with. That’s absolutely ridiculous behavior.

  • keelhaulrose

    If i had dozens of people around me trying to take pictures of my baby I’d get him in the darn car quickly, then concern about his safety once I’m in.
    And, perhaps I’m being a bit short, that car had to be one of the most protected vehicles on the planet at that moment. I’m betting that if you’re getting a constant police escort and being slowed by onlookers the chances of you getting into an accident are pretty slim.

    • AP

      They also have a top-level security detail, who probably said, “Get the baby into the car as fast as possible without alarming anyone.” Sadly, in this day and age, the trip home of that little baby was probably a huge target to the thousands of separatists, lunatics, and terrorists looking to Make A Public Point.

      Being exposed in public is far more dangerous for a high-profile target than riding in a bulletproof car.

  • Really? Sanctimommies?

    Some people are just raging cunts in general. How on earth is that an appropriate comment? Let’s all hate on the moms who are concerned about safety. What a useless article. Let’s discontinue the use of the phrase sanctimommies and confess that everyone is doing their best, huh?

    • MamaKara

      I don’t think this article is hating on the Moms that are concerned about safety- more so on the Moms who have had a bit too much holier than though in their coffee this morning…

    • Rachel Sea

      One can be concerned about safety without being an ass. The people who made those comments deserve to be called out for them. Kate and Will should be more careful about seat usage because Diana is dead? That is basically one of the most horrible things that could be said on the subject.

    • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

      I agree, everyone is attempting to do their best.

      But let’s say that A’s best was breastfeeding exclusively for 9 months and B’s breast milk supply dried up by 4 months. It is royally unfair for A to tell B that she isn’t doing her part as a mother or list report after report that breastfeeding exclusively until 9 months is the only way to get a child into calculus class. It’s not B’s fault her milk dried up and A needs to step off her.

      Also like some others have pointed out: they were only going 5 miles an hour at best, and Kate probably fixed little George up once they got in the car, when you are hounded by paparazzo all day every day the first thing you want is for your baby to be away from those crazies.

    • Amber

      Sanctimommies are not good parents. They’re horrible, bitter, judgmental, hateful women who never should have had children in the first place.

      Ripping someone apart for having a different parenting style than you or making a mistake is not “doing your best”, it’s just being a bitch.

    • Jussame

      Wow – sanctimonious about sanctimommies much? Saying it’s wrong to be judgemental of other’s parenting choices is one thing, but calling judgemental mothers ‘hateful women who never should have children’ is a tad extreme. Just a tad. (You can be a bitch and a good mom at the same time if you can believe it).

    • jessica

      I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you on that based on my own experience with my mother. All was well until we started developing our own personalities and ideas about how we wanted to live our lives and then our sanctimommy went nuts. It is the rigidity of the sanctimommy’s belief system that prevents her from being able to be a good mom in my experience.

    • AP

      This. I worked with kids for years, and many parents (and teachers/camp counselors, etc.) parent By The Book, paying no attention to the child’s personalities, wants, needs, and life situation. It’s sad to watch.

    • whiteroses

      Yep. The second you forget that you’re raising a child who has their own personality and idea is when you may as well give up.

  • http://daddydoctrines.com/ Chris Routly

    “But moms in the BabyCenter community noticed something else. Something that only another mom would spot…”

    Because screw you dads, you’re hopeless.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      HAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet some daddies noticed too

    • LiteBrite

      DH would totally notice an incorrectly installed carseat before me any day of the week.

  • Rachel Sea

    What a cuntish load of comments. I noticed that he wasn’t situated properly in that photo, but I also figured that Kate and Will wanted him in the car and away from the crowd as soon as possible, and that he probably would be strapped-in correctly soon. Even if he strapped-in perfectly this one time, he is probably riding in one of the safest motorcades in the world in that moment, and the chances of an accident would be virtually nil. Thank goodness the new parents have an army of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and nannies, and are unlikely to need to consult Baby Center for anything.

  • http://sarahhollowell.com/ Sarah Hollowell

    Oh Jesus when I read the first comment about Princess Di I GASPED IN HORROR. Internet, why do I ever doubt that you will be as awful as possible? :(

    • Sundaydrive00

      Yeah, I read a comment yesterday about how Prince William shouldn’t have let the media take any pictures of the baby because now the media will kill the baby just like his mother. Lets tone down the harshness a few.

    • meteor_echo

      Same here. My mind was fucking blown by this comment’s inappropriateness.

  • CrazyFor Kate

    Sanctimommies can go rot. I want only bad parents in my circle of friends, please!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Does this mean me?

    • CrazyFor Kate

      You DO write the column…

  • guest

    So if they are sanctimommies, what does that make all the people on here commenting on how stupid these people are who are making their comments. It’s quite apparent that he isn’t strapped in right so yeah people are going to call them out on something so simple. And yes the Diana comments take it too far. But probably so is calling other women cunts in your own comments. No wonder there are mommy wars going on.

    • Liz

      Let me guess… You were one of the posters? Methinks thou doth protest too much.

    • guest

      No I am not one of the posters. I love this site and usually enjoy the thoughtful and open discussions in the comments. This comment thread, however, has driven me to actually step back and say wow, some of these ladies have turned mean.

    • Amber

      Right, because bringing up someone’s dead mom in order to shame them over a car seat picture is “nice.”

    • Sundaydrive00

      And what does that make you calling out the people calling out the sanctimommies calling out Will and Kate?

      All you know is that he isn’t strapped in right when being taken to the car. You don’t know what Kate did when she got in the car.

    • Véronique Houde

      wow… it’s like the inception of sanctimommies. It’s okay to judge people who are judgy because you feel so much better than the judgers ;) lol… No but in all seriousness, it’s just none of our business how Kate and Will strapped their son into the carseat. People just care too much about other people’s lives and “mistakes”

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

      The “Inception” of sanctimommies – ahahahahahaha! The best. I’m stealing that reference and using it constantly – hope you don’t mind.

    • Jussame

      This was my exact reaction to many of the comments here too! Sanctimommies aren’t annoying because they have opinions about other people – we listen to other people’s opinions on our parenting all the time (doctors, teachers, parents etc.) Sanctimommies are annoying because they have opinions AND they think they’re better than you. There’s a whoooole lotta ‘I’m better than those Babycenter mommies’ going on here…

  • WillyWonka

    I want to put one of those harpies in the same situation WIlliam and Kate were in. Roughly 24 hours after giving birth, dealing with the crowds, the emotions of being a new parent and knowing they have to look perfect. I cannot even begin to imagine how they (especially Kate) were feeling. They had a car in front of them, a car following them (I believe). I doubt very highly that the new Prince was in any danger whatsoever. We also have no idea if the harness was fixed after they got away from the cameras and crowds… Even if it wasn’t fixed why does it matter so much? If people spent half the time fixing their own flaws as they do criticising others, I’m sure they’d be perfect.

    • AugustW

      Yeah…if somebody told me I had to get camera ready and wear makeup and heels 24 hours after popping a kid out…

    • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

      I’d punch all of them in the face

    • Toaster

      While eating a giant piece of cheese.

    • Véronique Houde

      God I remember wanting to get the hell away from the hospital ASAP. I can’t imagine having to sit down (on a possibly painful hooha) to get my hair and makeup done, have to put on a really fancy dress with a pair of nylons because being Kate Middleton – sorry – the Duchess means that you can’t be barelegged. Then having to deal with flashes and screams (thinking of how the baby will react to all of the commotion)… The baby already screaming bloody murder, you having no idea why the hell he’s screaming, but swaddling him just to PLEEEAASE keep him quiet because if he cries, everyone will judge Kate – sorry, the Duchess for being a bad mom… Showing him to the crowd, then quickly putting him in his seat and let’s get the hell out of here before we all have a seizure from all the flashing and screaming and oh god… this is ridiculous…

    • http://abasketcase.blogspot.com/ Basketcase

      This. so much this. And of course, they both had to look cool, calm and collected (and perfect) in the face of all that.

  • jec

    Well when he was a newborn Prince William made it home alive leaving hospital, and Princess Diana held him in her arms in the back seat – no car seat for him!
    Could Mommyish PLEASE stop calling her Kate Middleton? It is not the Duchess’ name and it is disrespectful of you not to use her correct name or title in your articles. Thanks.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

      Ha! This comment is entertaining.

    • Cee

      Sometimes they call her K Middy *gasp*
      **Intended for jec**

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Do we have to stop calling her K-Middy too?

    • Véronique Houde

      LOLz

  • Justme

    You know what bothers me? The fact that those mothers think that William or Kate give a shit about what they’re writing on the internet.

    “Aww shit, Wills…look here! “Neveah’sMommy4eva” says that we’re despicable parents for not harnessing him in properly. We better listen to her because she’s got a cat for an avatar! That means she really knows her carseat facts!”

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I’m so changing my disquis name to “Neveah’sMommy4eva

  • Cee

    So there are worst sites out there than The Stir?!
    Laughinggirl127…you’re a cunt. Plain and simple.

    • Sarah

      Amen to that, Cee! That’s exactly what I was thinking!

  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    When my mom brought me home from the hospital she held me in her lap. In the front seat. I think she was even smoking at the time. Knowing my father, he probably was driving while drinking a cocktail. My parents were the best.

    • Véronique Houde

      When my baby was 6 months old, his parents and uncle and aunt came from France to visit us and see the baby. They wanted to go sight-seeing (in January when it’s uber cold), but they were 6 with the baby and so they decided to all sit down and hold the baby carrier car seat thingy in their hands on the way there. It’s a generational thing. They’re used to doing that kind of thing.

      But yes, I did massively flip out (at my boyfriend for allowing it, not them). When they suggested we do it again and I said no, they did give me credit, say I was right, and acknowledge that the reason that they did that in their day was that cars were a lot more solid, and went a lot slower on the road than now ;).

      But… I do admit that I will be reluctant to let my child go out with her grandparents without us in the car (because her grandfather did admit to me while laughing that he sometimes allows my 2 year old niece to ride out of her carseat… and now she doesn’t want to sit in it anymore).

    • EcnoTheNeato

      The cars were, indeed, a lot more solid! Meaning that most of the force of the impact transferred to the passengers instead :-x

      Though they may have a point about driving slow(er)

  • LinZoo

    Babycenter moms are a bunch of judgmental bullies in general.

  • Carmen

    Ok, I don’t personally care how they strapped their newborn in to go 1 km/hr BUT I will admit that I am a little bummed out that he wasn’t strapped in correctly only because people are lemmings. (Hello, the blanket they swaddled him in is sold out everywhere. But those muslin blankets are the shizz.) Somewhere I imagine a modern day Eliza Doolittle saying in a cockney accent, “Les recreate the ol’ royal couple’s ‘omecomin’ wit our bundle a’joy.” And they won’t be traveling with a police escort.

  • Jussame

    Really? Taking note of someone strapping their newborn into a carseat wrong makes me a sanctimommy? Is there no point beyond which I’m allowed to judge? (Letting a 4 year old ride a bike without a helmet? Feeding a 6-month old Pepsi? Giving a 2 year old a knife to play with? Come on there must be a line somewhere).

    Not to justify the overboardness of some of the Babycenter comments, but I wouldn’t want some pregnant mother to see that picture and think ‘oh that’s how you put a newborn in a carseat.’ I think it’s a good public service announcement that people are talking about the fact that the straps were wrong. I don’t know if it’s my Province or just my city, but here they literally will not let you leave the hopsital without a nurse checking the expiry date on the carseat and ensuring the baby is strapped in properly (unless you say you’re taking the bus or walking home). My first thought when I saw the picture was actually that the hopsital was letting them get away with not doing it properly just because they were Royals and that was kind of BS, but reading all these comments I guess not all hospitals everywhere check this stuff.

    Anyway, there’s got to be a middleground between been a ‘sanctimommy’ and a ‘parents can do whatever they want with their kids’ mommy (appologistmommy? relativistmommy?). I’d say doing carseat straps up properly should fall in that middle ground.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Parents can do whatever they want. If you aren’t the parent of the new royal baby then it’s totally not your biz. Until you ARE Kate Middleton, then forgive me, your highness.

      Unless you see a parent actively abusing or neglecting a child, it really doesn’t matter if you FEEL the car seat was put in wrong. I’m kinda assuming considering Kate And her husband are amazingly wealthy, prominent people they probably have all too many professionals in close proximity offering assistance and guidance. I can pretty much a gazillion percent guarantee they are NOT reading BabyCenter message boards for parenting protips.

    • Jussame

      I am under no illusions that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge give a crap what commentors on parenting websites think about their carseat strapping skills, but I do think there’s a difference between critiquing a mother’s decision to breast vs bottlefeed or work vs stay at home and commenting on the fact someone has misused a safety device. I too have driven off with a car seat not snapped in properly and would never judge someone for doing so – sleep deprivation trump card! I don’t think these guys just ‘forgot’ to do it right though, or that they made an informed choice to do it the way they did. They just screwed up putting a baby in a car seat the first time they tried, and hey since the photo of it went all over the place let’s take note it was wrong so others don’t make the same mistake.

      I realise you spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff but suspect you don’t really think “parents can do whatever they want.” I doubt you’d defend abuse, or neglect, or total disregard to safety (leaving an 18 month old to play outside on a road unsupervised?). It’s a spectrum and I totally think car seat use is somewhere on that spectrum. And saying ‘nice try but you did that task wrong [e.g. buckling a car seat]‘ is not the same as saying ‘I think you’ve made an incorrect choice’ or ‘I judge you for for not being totally focused [e.g. forgetting to snap in a car seat]‘!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I said this above: ” Unless you see a parent actively abusing or neglecting a child,” That’s quite a bit different than being the car seta po-lice

    • whiteroses

      Improper car seat usage is light years away from, say, burning your kid with a cigarette or starving them to death.

      The one can be improved with education. The other just makes you a terrible individual.

    • Véronique Houde

      Jussame, I honestly think that when someone will want to learn how to strap their child into their seat, they’ll look at the instruction manual or get help from the nurse at the hospital instead of opening Us Today to see how prince William did it ;)…

    • Liz

      Haha my thought exactly.

      …because I totally learned how to strap in my kid by checking out celeb pictures in magazines and online. Are you effing kidding me?? *eyeroll*

    • Nikkers

      No, there is no point at which you can judge. You can report your findings to CPS but judge? Nope. You aren’t God. You aren’t that Mom. If they want to give a 6 month old Pepsi, that’s their kid to give Pepsi to. If they want to raise their child without letting them wear a helmet (LIKE WE WERE RAISED!), that is their own business. A knife to play with? Yeah…that happens every day right? Nope.

      Judgement is not your place, or anyone else’s place. If you feel the child is in danger, report it. Keep your over cautious sanctimonious judgmental opinion to yourself because believe it or not, WORDS cause depression in parents. WORDS cause parents to over analyze every single decision they have ever made in their lives. WORDS cause people to commit suicide.

      Just a grown up version of “bullying” if you ask me. If you don’t do things the way I think then YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT!. Yup.

    • whiteroses

      It might actually be worse than bullying. If someone calls CPS on you, you could potentially lose your child. At the very least, if someone is calling CPS over something that’s really not that big a deal (such as a kid not strapped into a carseat exactly correctly according to their specifications), they are taking valuable time and manpower away from the kids who desperately need their help. If a child is otherwise fine, then that parent needs a lesson on carseat safety, not to be threatened with having their child taken away.

      Despite what the sanctimommies say, incorrectly strapping a child into a carseat is not child abuse. Driving around holding your child in your arms might be.

    • k_milt

      I think judging others is perfectly normal and doesn’t make you a shitty person. Everybody judges, it’s in our nature. What DOES make you a shitty person, though, is letting that judgment come flying out of your face when nobody actually asked you. It implies that you think your audience is slow and has no idea of what is actually going on.

      I certainly agree that if you suspect a child is in harm’s way you should report it. I would hope that’s a given (hope springs eternal!). Even if you only suspect something wonky is going on, it’s better to find out you’re wrong now than to find out later you were right, when it’s too late.

      My rule is pretty simple: Judge away all you want, but just keep it to yourself and DO NOT OPEN YOUR PIE HOLE.

    • EcnoTheNeato

      As some other people on here have noted, it’s less about the safety and more about the lack of knowledge that the commenters have. What do we have? A single picture before the doors shut.

      So unless you were in the car next to Kate and noticed that she didn’t strap Georgie in after that, and when you asked her about it she cursed at you while lighting a cigarette, THEN you can comment about it in the way these people did (maybe).

      Until then, just note that AT THAT MOMENT the baby is improperly fastened. And do it in a kind and helpful way. Not a “I know better than you!” way, or a straight-up awful way (like bringing up Diana’s death)

    • A-nony-mous

      Sadly that never seems to cross their mind. Any time a child is in a carseat, these people will froth at the mouth. I’ve seen these kinds of mothers jump all over people about the buckle situation when the car seat was on the floor of a house ;-)

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  • Lindsey Sweet

    I noticed it too, and just thought that UK carseats were different than USA’s, and dismissed it until I saw this article!

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  • Christina

    Hi, Koa Beck. The information you have copied from the BabyCenter website is actually from a group called The Debate Team. Debating things is what they do, hence the name of the group. Some topics are related to children, but many (most?) are not. A lot of what gets discussed is about politics, religion, etc. I feel that you have misconstrued the information you found at the Debate Team and twisted it to fit your “santimommy” title.

    • EcnoTheNeato

      Which may be all well and good (though in context still doesn’t sound too great).

      But that still doesn’t excuse the use of “but princess Diana!” comments

    • Justme

      From my knowledge of what a Debate Team does, they usually have to provide solid evidence for their argument and must refrain from petty insults, outrageously false claims and general despicable behavior, correct? Making these kinds of statements under the guise of “debate” does not make it okay.

  • Christina

    My previous comment appears to have been deleted. The author’s source is actually from a group on BabyCenter called “The Debate Team”. It’s not a parenting group and the entire purpose of the group is to debate various topics. Most topics are related to things like religion and politics. It’s hardly “sanctimommyish” to debate carseat safety on a group called The Debate Team.

    • Liz

      Debate this: GTF over it. Mmkay? Thx.

  • marsht9

    The instant classic car seat safety song I wrote : Enjoy Royals and all you other fantastic families! “With Restraints” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k01wpRYi-eo

    • EcnoTheNeato

      I…I may want to get my eventual niece/nephew a toga now!

    • marsht9

      TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! LOL !

  • Yves

    I feel like according to car seat sanctimommies, there is literally NO right way to strap your kid in. I actually deleted a “friend” on facebook because all she did was police everyone else’s parenting. ANNOYING and just so rude.

  • Shanie

    Absurd! the best place for the new baby to be would have been in her arms! Car seats=consumerism and waste! Don’t get me wrong, I uses them too, especially when I’m driving and can’t hold kids and they having many nice qualities, but a newborn hardly fits in them and it is not healthy for their spine/head anyways.

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  • maddi

    It’s a shock the human race even survived so long without car seats. We all know that babies all just explode when they’re not completely strapped down to the point of paralysis! My mum didn’t strap me down (as a toddler) for my safety, she did it for hers, because if I wasn’t glued to my seat I was everywhere :D

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  • Mikster

    People need to get their OWN lives and STFU already! Wow.

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