As Iâve mentioned before, I took the early train to motherhood and had my first child at the tender age of 19. Iâve taken quite a bit of shiz for getting such an early start, but I was young and in love and it worked for us at the time. I met my ex-husband when I was 15, we stayed together for eight years and split amicably. When I was 23 I met the love of my life and current husband and once again jumped on the baby bus to preggo town, having my second daughter at 24 and my son (lovingly called King Baby by my mother) at 26. And, with that, haters be damned, my fabulous baby-making factory was closed.
Or at least thatâs what I wanted. Apparently the hospital and my OBGYN had a different idea.
When I brought the subject up with my otherwise wonderful OBGYN for the first time, I was eight months pregnant with King Baby. He listened intently as I told him about how I always wanted three kids and no more and that my husband agreed. I told him I thought long and hardÂ about the decision, and that I wanted to get the old baby strings snipped. He sat for a moment and then was basically like âNAWWW, ainât gonna happen.â
Okay, he was a little more professional than that, but thatâs the gist of it. Â Not only was it against the policy of the hospital, but it was against his PERSONAL policy to give any woman under the age of 35 a tubal ligation (aka âchildproofing the baby shuteâ). Yup, even if that woman has three kids already and is positive she wants to make her uterus a recreational fun-zone only. Â The hospital itself said that even if I found a doctor willing to do the procedure, I would have to wait until age 30 to have it done there.
The worst part of this was the condescending lectures that I received from the various people I spoke to. Donât get me wrong, I understood their intentions when I was still pregnant and hormonal. Perhaps I wasnât in the best position to make a decision at that moment. But this went on well after I gave birth. As if I wasnât the best person to make that decision. And boy did I hear some fucked up shit.
âWhat if you change your mind?â
First off, I want to point out that I am not a woman of wealth and leisure, and I donât think I need to tell Mommyish readers that having even ONE child is expensive as hell. So yeah, I donât think Iâm gonna be springing to have more kids any time soon (as in EVER). Three college funds is enough ambition for me.
âYou donât know how youâll feel in 10 years!â
Yes, I know exactly how I will feel. Awesome. In 10 years (from now) I will have three teenagers who will be driving me bananas. I think adding a screaming baby to the mix will be the last freaking thing on my mind. But thanks for that!