Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Royal Spawn Has Arrived!

1RoyalFam2__1374178353_74.134.205.46Start mixing those Pim’s Cups and take the rest of the day, HELL NO, the week off because the royal spawn of The Duchess Of Cambridge Kate Middleton and her handsome Prince William has arrived! The baby is reportedly a boy! We have a prince!

This is all of the information we have for now because the palace is being so damn sneaky about these things but we shall update you when more information is available.

Until then, let us all put on our very best fascinators from Harvey Nicks and debate whether Kate is whipping out her royal boobs for the first feeding or a diamond encrusted baby bottle and if she had all sorts of magical drugs whilst expelling the baby from betwixt her royal thighs! Will Kate be gnawing on the royal placenta? Did she get a post birth snack of some sort of magical delicious fancy cupcakes? I wish we knew all the most important things like what sort of hospital gown she delivered in and if she daintily uttered some royal curse words whilst in transition!

Are you excited? ZOMG we are so excited.




The Prince of Wales has said in a statement:

“Both my wife and I are overjoyed at the arrival of my first grandchild.  It is an incredibly special moment for William and Catherine and we are so thrilled for them on the birth of their baby boy.

Grandparenthood is a unique moment in anyone’s life, as countless kind people have told me in recent months, so I am enormously proud and happy to be a grandfather for the first time and we are eagerly looking forward to seeing the baby in the near future.”

(Photo: Featureflash/shutterstock/Wes Keeton)

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  • Nicole

    8 lbs, 6 oz.
    4:24 pm their time.
    My money is on Phillip Edward.

    • Justme

      That’s a good sized little guy!

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I love your name pick

    • libraryofbird

      I am hoping Philip as well.

    • Haradanohime

      If his name ends up as Phillip (A wonderful name by the way) how much would you bet there would be a surplus of girls named Aurora?

    • LiteBrite

      I like that name. My guess is for George (not sure on the middle name yet). Maybe Albert will be worked in somewhere?

    • whiteroses

      Yes. The name is awesome. They might throw “Charles” or “Albert” somewhere in there, though not “John”, since that’s considered unlucky for the royal family, apparently.

    • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

      I’m hoping Deen or something that is kind of a throwback to princess Diana

    • Nicole

      CK said Spencer. Which I think would be awesome! The bookies say George is up there. This kid will probably have more names than he is long. William has 4 as does Harry. I was rooting for a little Henry till I realized that Harry is actually Henry.

    • CK

      I think Spencer will be in there somewhere, though. That was Diana’s last name, and I have a feeling it’ll end up as the middle name.

  • TngldBlue

    Is it bad that I secretly wanted a girl and am disappointed we won’t get to see fancy cupcake dresses and sparkly tiaras?

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I also secretly hoped for a princess but I am so happy for them

    • Justme

      I am so glad that someone else feels the same way!

    • libraryofbird

      I had my fingers crossed for a little girl too. But it’s still cool and wish them all the best.

    • LiteBrite

      No, you’re not the only one. Maybe the next royal baby?

    • CrazyFor Kate

      I kind of was simply because they changed all the rules and it would have been great to see a girl get to be Queen no matter what. Ah well, maybe this kid will grow up to have a daughter who can fulfill it. For now, a little Prince will do just fine :)

  • Alicia Kiner

    Big congrats to the Royal family. Eve, did you mean to come off as snarky, or was that just the tone I read it with? Unfortunately, now even more cameras will be following this woman. Yes, I wanted to hear about the baby, and yes I want to hear what his name is too, I just feel like the paparazzi take it too far, and need to back off. end rant.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I’m not snarky I’m super excited

    • Alicia Kiner

      my apologies for adding the tone then! I’m excited for them too, but I feel bad for them too obviously. Maybe I need to go find some wine, and toast to them or something ;)

  • Portia Mount

    As cynical as I usually am, I love this stuff. I love tradition and (am dating myself) I remember when Princess Diane got married and had Princes William and Harry. It’s great news during a time when we have so much strife and sadness in the world. I just hope the tabloids don’t f$%K it up by now speculating how fast it will take for Kate to get back her “post baby bod.”. I trust her family will fiercely protect her privacy so she can enjoy these special early days as a mother in peace and tranquility.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      Totally and I bet we will see awful post baby bod stuff but then we can all be nasty about the headlines and make fun of them! I also watched the royal wedding of Di and Charles on TV <3

  • Paul White

    A bouncing baby anachronism!

  • DMH


  • Jessie

    Yay!! Congratulations to the Royal Family! :D

  • Blueathena623

    Haha, totally didn’t realize that Wills is the duke of Cambridge, and thought that Kate has some random old guy with her during the birth.

  • G.S.

    An old teacher of mine went on a bit of a rant over all the media hype over the baby (as well as the “not since the birth of Christ has a baby been so anticipated” comment) and a friend of mine came in with the best comment on all of this. “I know how it will end,” he said, “I saw The Lion King.”