BF0NgOXCUAEQb1cAn Australian model has designed a line of plus-size swimsuits for all of you women out there who just had your second c-section and can’t come to terms with what is happening in your midsection. Oh wait. That’s me. I’m talking about myself. I need a bathing suit, so thank God Robyn Lawley, a gorgeous “plus-size” model has designed some for women like us. Only, I look nothing like her. She’s not plus-size. At all.

She’s 6’2″ tall and wears a size 12. She’s a gorgeous Amazon. I am 5’3″ and wear a size 12. I am not a gorgeous Amazon. I am a very cute non-Amazon. Why does this woman need to refer to herself as “plus-size?” Probably because according to the ridiculously unattainable standards set by the fashion industry today, she is a giant whale. Please look at the photos on her website before reading anymore of my rant. This woman is gorgeous.

Ever since she debuted this swim line at the beginning of the month, media outlets have been praising her for coming to the rescue of us chubby girls. Okay, I’m paraphrasing. Buzzfeed ran a list of images of her in swimsuits, titled “Robyn Lawley Launches Gorgeous Plus-Size Bathing Suit Line,” subtitled, “And it’s free of frumpy one-pieces and tankinis.” Then they proceed to show her in an array of frumpy one-pieces and tankinis. They just don’t look frumpy on her because she is a gorgeous supermodel. Oh, sorry – “plus-size” supermodel. Apparently having some boobs and a belly that is not concave makes a girl plus-size these days.

Here’s what The Huffington Post has to say about her swimwear line :

Featuring both one- and two-piece styles, the line currently covers sizes 8 through 18, but Robyn (a size 12 herself) plans to expand that range in the future.

And the suits themselves? They’re cute as can be. Promising to “distract from lumps and bumps,” the swimwear features splashy prints and elaborate details. They don’t come cheap (the lowest-priced suit in the collection will set you back $140), but we think they’re an investment. Now, we can replicate Robyn’s sexy swimsuit shoots ourselves — and feel more comfortable in our skin.

On what planet is size 8 plus-size? Oh, ours. A size 8 is not plus-size, this woman is not plus-size – and can everyone please stop calling the average size of woman in this country (14) plus-size?

Thank you. Rant over.