shutterstock_122057596I hate it when someone invents a parenting trend that I have already invented in my head. Dad blogger David Vienna has given life to a parenting mantra I have been reciting religiously since I became a mom: Calm The Fuck Down.

The Calm The Fuck Down, or CTFD method of parenting is really quite empowering. It reminds us to chill out and stop being such neurotic, perfectionist parents. Here’s a little slice of his wisdom:

Worried your friend’s child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the fuck down.

Scared you’re not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the fuck down.

Concerned that you’re not the type of parent you thought you’d be? Calm the fuck down.

Upset that your child doesn’t show interest in certain areas of learning? Calm the fuck down.

Thank you, David. What the fuck are we all doing anyway? We parents today are driving ourselves crazy trying to make sure we are breeding the next generation of super-humans. I’m pretty damn sure my mother never uttered the word “milestone” even once during my entire childhood. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure she would think obsessively tracking milestones is ridiculous. And she’s an awesome parent.

I used to constantly wonder whether my child was keeping up. Now, I just try to spend as much time as I can soaking up this time with him. I guess I’ve been doing the CTFD method all along. Here’s how you do it, according to David:

To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:

  1. Calm the fuck down.
  2. There is no second step.

So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You’ll be glad you did and so will your kid.

I’m pretty sure truer words were never spoken.

(photo: FuzzBones/ Shutterstock)