The Top 10 T-Shirts For The Misogynistic Douchebag Dudebro In Your Life

planned-parenthoodI get the internet. I know I am on the internet and I can find any number of really awful woman hatey bullshit that will make my blood boil. I get that we live in ‘Mericuh, I get that people can have their own opinions, we may not agree on everything, and I fully agree with  the first amendment, as long as I can also disagree with whatever hateful bullshit any number of people spew on a daily basis. I know some of these websites make shirts like this just because they can. They are offensive, they are meant to be offensive, and I’m sure certain people in the world would tell me to STFU and go clutch my pearls in a corner somewhere. Hell, they’d probably add in some insult about how I’m a MOM and I should worry about my own chillun’. But seriously guys, I stumbled upon one shirt while googling “Funny tourist T-shirt” (Because I needed an example of a tourist slogan and I couldn’t think of any) and I ended up going down the rabbit hole of hate on the internet. I know shirts like this will continue to be produced and purchased. I know a lot of people will find them funny. So keep in mind, I’m just a MOM and a woman and I spend a lot of time like thinking about rape and rape culture and violence towards women. I just don’t find this shit funny.

Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 8.06.23 AM(Image:



















( (This is no longer for sale, maybe they sold out)







And just because some of these dudebros may also be parents, some of these websites sell shirts for kids as well.



And it starts at size 0-six months.

Being offended by this shit doesn’t make me a “hysterical feminist” – it makes me a woman who is sick of people thinking this sort of not-funny, lamer type of humor is okay. I’m sure there are plenty of douchebag dudebros who purchase and happily wear shirts like this. You have my full permission to throat punch any of them if you see them wearing one.

AND get this, yeah people DO wear these, because my pal Katrin just sent me this:

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It should be noted, Katrin did not throat punch this guy, but she did grab a pic of him. UGH, he looks like a happy guy too.

(Image: T-shirt hell)

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  • Paul White

    Just a word of warning; your pop up ad blocked the “unless they’re pregnant” line on the “real men don’t hit women” shirt. It made me very confused for a bit.

  • India

    I can’t believe they can sell shirts like these…I’m glad I’ve never seen anyone wearing one.

    • Paul White

      Never object to idiots making themselves obvious!

    • Amber

      I’m very glad they can sell shirts like these. I’m firmly in the freedom of speech camp, even if I despise what is being said.

    • Maggie

      You’re glad they sell shirts that make jokes about beating and raping women and children? I’m all for freedom of speech, but this crap is appalling and anyone who supports it, regardless of the “freedom of speech” argument, is an idiot.

    • Amy

      Thank you.

    • Blooming_Babies

      She said she’s very glad they can sell them, not that she’s very glad they do. I’d have to agree, I’m happy to live in a country with freedom of speech and apparently this vile filth is part of the deal. On the flip side I don’t think that “rape jokes” should ever be accepted as humor in any way, they serve one purpose and that’s to normalize and marginalize rape. It could even be argued that shirts like this incite violence excluding them from free speech all togeather.

    • Amber

      Like I said, I’m a firm believer in freedom of speech, even when I despise what is being said. I think it’s sad that people think that makes me an idiot. I enjoy my freedom and I realize that I have to allow others to have freedom if I want to continue to enjoy it.

      It’s so depressing that four people voted me down for that. :(

    • Psych Student

      Perhaps the bigger problem is that there is a *market* for such shirts.

    • Iwill Findu

      I’m glad assholes buy these shirts, it’s like a warning sign to women that they shouldn’t have anything to do with these men, because well they’re idiots and won’t have any respect for you as a women. So really these are the only shirts some people should be allowed to own.

  • Annie

    The sandwich shirt is sold at walmart.

    • Annie

      I saw it there and was so shocked that I had to take a picture, it was next to the Jesus shirts.

    • Eve Vawter

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH pics! pics!

    • Annie

      I’ll try and upload them after class, so sometime this afternoon.

      I used to work at wally werld and clothes were generally arranged in the order they came out of the truck, so if they were like that at my local walmart then they’re probably at yours too.

      I was just agape, I actually pulled an employee aside and was like SRSLEH? SRSLEH?

      Not that I expect much from that place but COME ON.

    • Eve Vawter
    • Annie


    • Emmali Lucia

      I don’t know, is anyone really surprised about a misogynic shirt at WalMart? I mean considering all the misogynistic shit that goes down behind the scenes, I’m not surprised.

      Then again it could be because of my bias, I tend to think that Walmart is the devil. Lol

    • Rachel

      Agreed…my opinion of WalMart is that that chain will do anything to make a buck and squeeze out other stores. It is a completely vile outfit.

    • Rachel Sea

      Ha, “vile outfit.”

    • Rachel

      I’m not surprised at all. Wasn’t the ‘I’m too pretty to do math’ shirt also sold there?

    • Annie

      I wish I had a desk to slam my face into when I read that.

    • March

      We need to start churning out a few million shirts that say “I’m too math to do pretty”.

    • chickadee

      Of course it is! The others are probably sold at Kmart.

  • Emil

    I’m all for these shirts. If you are an asshole I want to know right away. Saves time.

    • Eve Vawter

      loooool, good point

    • Annie

      Or blind. Or homeless.

      For some reason, as awful as these shirts are, I’d love to see a bunch of them at one of those drop-offs for the blind. On a related note, I might be a terrible person.

    • Anne Cordelia

      Bwahahahaha!! We can be terrible together.

    • Annie

      Mommyish community outreach ;)

  • Madame Ovaries

    I worked at a middle school before my son was born and I saw the “Cool story babe, now go make me a sandwich” slogan on a hoodie…ON A 12 YEAR OLD. The kicker is that I had had other interactions with this kid and he was really sweet and polite. How is it that a parent can raise a nice kid and not be like “uh, fuck no, you can’t have that sweatshirt…and here’s why.”

    • Annie

      Maybe it’s a nice kid whose parents are assholes. Those kids always warm my charred, empty heart cavity.

    • Madame Ovaries

      Good point. I know exactly the kind of kid you are talking about and they truly do make you believe in miracles and unicorns.

    • Amber

      My parents bought me offensive clothing when I was a child. My choices were wear it or freeze. That kid might be in the same situation.

    • Eve Vawter

      big hugs amber

    • Madame Ovaries

      Yikes, that sucks! I’m sorry to hear that.

      Come to think of it, during International Foods Week at school, this kid with the hoodie brought in these amazing deep fried pastry things and when I kind of gushed about them he absolutely BEAMED, to the point that I remember wondering if he didn’t hear much praise from mom and dad. I wonder if he doesn’t have a great home life.

      Dammit. Now I’m having a sad. :(

    • SusannahJoy

      aw, sad! awesome that you were able to make him so proud though!

    • Mel

      I actually like that shirt…..but only on a woman. :)

  • Rachel

    They should call these things ‘celibacy shirts.’

  • Courtney Lynn

    Wonder how many of the guys who own these are single? I’m sure the percentage is high.

    • Andrea

      You might be surprised. It never ceases to amaze me how many douches manage to keep “girlfriends”.

    • Emmali Lucia

      Yeah but most of the girlfriends are either not-quite-right in the head or are ridiculously young (I’m talking like 14-16 range)

    • Tusconian

      IDK. The guys I know who wear this stuff generally don’t have girlfriends (or, as said below, have really young girlfriends). The douches I know who maintain girlfriends wouldn’t wear these things. They attract women for a reason; they don’t seem that douchey at first, at least not to her.

    • Andrea

      You are probably right. I just can’t imagine anyone wearing any of these and living to tell the tale.

    • Courtney Lynn

      So true. I worked in retail for 8 years and saw a LOT of douchers with girlfriends. A lot of times, the girl was the one paying!

  • Blh

    A few of these are funny, not gonna lie. However, if any guy would seriously wear them he is the BIGGEST douche and I wouldnt have anything to do with him. Saves time really. Knowing there an asshole up front.

    • Maggie

      Ha Ha, let’s laugh at rape and violence against women and just not let people know that we’re assholes!

      You’re an asshole. None of those shirts are funny.

    • DMH

      As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I find these shirts– and the fact that you find them humorous– disgusting and absolutely appalling.

    • chickadee

      I’m not sure which ones are funny — was there another page that I missed? Please explain.

  • Peachy233

    I had my drink tampered and was sexually assaulted by a member of my theatre group, and when I, discreetly, went to the President and committee about it, they got very victim-blamey and kicked me out on my arse and told anyone who would listen what a giant liar I was (thus spreading my assault all around town). I am so tempted to link this to their page as a suggestion for some new club shirts for them, considering the ideals they seem to value :/
    I feel the general public really needs a visual heads up on what a massive bunch of douche canoes they are.

    • Eve Vawter


    • Emmali Lucia

      In high school I was in an “Alternative” class where they put kids who were at-risk, I developed this huge crush on this guy who was a drop-out who had also been in this class, anyways he raped me and when I went to tell the teacher she told me I was lying and he couldn’t do something like that and how dare I and I dressed like a slut anyways.

      So I know how you feel. People are awful

    • Annie

      I was CONSTANTLY sexually harassed in my school’s alternative class. No one gives a damn about the students in there, it’s just a method of containment.

    • Emmali Lucia

      You’d think that the teachers would be trained to handle those things and know when students are struggling (Because HELLO, isn’t that the reason why they’re there?)

    • Annie

      There weren’t even teachers in the classroom 70% of the time, they were occupied with the disabled students (in another room) who either should have had aides or been attending a school that would give them specialized education. Public rural schools, oorah.

    • Amanda

      I was sexually harassed by a teacher (TEACHER!) in high school and I made numerous reports to my school’s office about it, even had other teacher’s witness it and report it and they did NOTHING about it until my dad threatened to call the media and have it all over the news. Guess what they did to ‘punish’ him? Moved him to another school in the same district that was down the street.

  • CW

    The sandwich one isn’t in the same category as the others. It’s stupid & lame but does not condone violence against women.

  • Amanda

    Oh my gosh, SO many people around where I live have that sandwich shirt. I even see WOMEN wearing it!

  • HSSenior

    Half the people at my school wear that sandwich shirt, even some of the girls. Uhg.

  • Gangle

    I would guess that dudebro in the last shirt does not, nor ever will, have a girlfriend.

    • Azrael

      May i point you to this

  • LocalMom29

    As a formerly-single mom, I have to add my personal “favorite”:


  • Mel

    The ones featuring women in wheelchairs literally make me want to cry.

  • Abendwind

    Parents put these types of shirts on their CHILDREN? Unbelievable.

  • Christina Wolfe

    Wow. I’ve seen some awful shirts, but these take the cake. Though, I do agree with someone who already said it: It’s good to know a guy is an asshole dudebro up front without having to actually interact with them. They’re easier to avoid that way.

  • The Great Queen Spider

    Pathetic scumbags.

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  • doowdivad

    I suppose the point that the writer seems to be missing, is that these are supposed to be “funny” t shirts. Then again I doubt that any man hating feminazi such as this one would have a sense of humour anyway. God, I tell you, men certainly made the wrong decision giving you shower the vote!

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  • doxgukka

    i do own some of the shirts from t-shirt hell (I am a woman) but not the ones that promote rape. they do have some funny ones, and they do have some “make you squirm” from how WRONG they are ones.

  • handsomerandyblackladbrad1953

    O.K.,girls,but do you like handsome,randy older black lads who ogle and pursue buxom white-PARTICULARLY blonde ladies between 25 and 40?(Incidentally,rapists and at-
    tempted rapists are FILTHY,CRIMINAL SCUM WHO BELONG BEHIND BARS-for many,many years-IF/WHEN TRIED AND CONVICTED!!!!!!!!)

  • handsomerandyblackladbrad1953

    Rachel,it’s FREAKIN’ WALMART!!!!!!(The $125-BILLION [that's one-eighth TRILLION]
    family of filth which closes stores when workers unionize for higher wages!!!!!!:HIGHER:

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  • Jezebeelzebub

    I have that GO MAKE ME A SAMMICH t shirt and I wear it often. The reaction I get is mixed.

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