• Tue, Jul 9 - 5:59 pm ET

I’m Sad That Nigella Lawson Is Sad That Her Abusive Husband Is Divorcing Her

Nigella Lawson seen at the family homeNigella Lawson, who was pictured with her seemingly abusive husband’s hands around her neck in full view of a restaurant, is getting divorcedCharles Saatchi released a statement to the public about the end of their marriage. And apparently Nigella is “devastated” by this news. Oh, honey, no, no, no. Do not go Rihanna on us.

Nigella has reportedly been staying with family ever since she and her husband had a “playful tiff,” according to him. And despite her husband’s on-camera abuse, Nigella hoped to “work things out.”  Say whhaaaa? A “source” tells Us Weekly that Nigella is down in the dumps about her nearly 10 year marriage — to an abuser — being over:

“She moved out, she needed a break, she needed to think, to be apart from him, but in no terms did they break up or even discuss the D-word,” the insider says. “She didn’t expect him to pull this move.”…

“Before all of this, their relationship was certainly strained, but they were always working on it,” the source explains, citing her job in America as a point of contention. “There were a lot of things wrong with their relationship, but Nigella was always hopeful that they could fix things, that he would change, that they could get along without arguing.”

“She’s devastated,” the insider adds. “Their family is falling apart, and she can’t control the situation.”

While I don’t expect victimized Nigella to be throwing I Just Left My Abusive Partner parades and wearing soon to be Mommyish patented “I Just Left My Abusive Partner” shirts just yet, I find her “devastation” to be soul-crushingly disheartening.

Nigella! This is good news! It is GOOD news that your abusive husband is ditching you! Bear in mind, this is the man who said — to the public!– that he had his hands around Nigella to “emphasize” his point. It blows that you had to invest almost 10 years of perhaps your only mortal life in a relationship with someone who was so brazen as to grab your neck, but you’re getting out! You’re free! You DO NOT need to work marital shiz out with a partner who equates straight up abuse with a “playful tiff.”

Obviously, Nigella is concerned about her two children, Cosima and Bruno, from a previous marriage. She is reportedly hoping that “they don’t get hurt in all of this.” And the best way to ensure that is to put as much space between them/you and Charles “The Neck Grabber” Saatchi as possible. Nigella, I will throw a divorce party for you.

(photo: WENN.com)

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  • LiteBrite

    To outsiders like us, it IS a good thing. But to someone in the throes of a relationship ending, it IS devastating, even one fraught with abuse.

    Confession time: I was in an abusive relationship several years ago. He wasn’t physical; his abuse was more verbal and emotional, and when we broke up I was devastated, to a point where I seriously contemplated suicide. Why? Because he wasn’t abusive 24/7. In fact, when he wasn’t being a total fuckwit, he was even charming and fun to be around. Despite his abuse, we had a lot of good times. And that’s the part I missed. I kept thinking it was all my fault, that if I changed, HE’D change, and all would work out. It took me a good couple of years to fully get over our relationship. Today, I can’t even believe that was me.

    But my guess is that in a few months, maybe even a couple of years, she’ll look back and be damn effing glad to be rid of him.

    Note: I do not know Nigella, so cannot speak to her state of mind. I’m just throwing out a possibility based on what I went through.

    • Laura Nelson

      I think we have the same ex-boyfriend.

      I came here to say pretty much the same things….so ditto.

    • Rachel Sea

      Me too. This crap is so predictable. You’d think a species that could compile the sum of human knowledge so that it is accessible from your pocket could figure out how not to fall into this stupid pattern, over, and over, times a million.

    • Courtney Lynn

      I was thinking the same thing. I had an abusive ex-boyfriend and even though I had met someone much better (now my husband), I still felt a tremendous amount of guilt. Because I DID once love him and there were intense feelings there for a long time. I hated hurting someone that I had once loved and who I had shared feelings and a life with for some time.

  • Rachel Sea

    Oh, I just want to give her a big hug, and a gelato, and tell her she’s better off without the tosser. And then walk her straight to counseling, because the moment a person lays their hands on you in anger it bloody well should be over.

  • Krusticle

    Charles’ public call for divorce — before discussing it with her privately — was a classic abuser-reclaiming-power move. For an ad guy, he really stinks at this P.R. shit.
    Nigella, baby, rejoice! Did you hear George Clooney is back on the market?

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  • Guest

    I think we need to have some compassion for the psychological fuckery that is being the victim of abuse. It is not as cut-and-dry good guy/bad guy when you’re in the middle of it. Or maybe it is, but it doesn’t feel that way at all. Because your abuser has spent years gaslighting you, pointing out your flaws and making you feel guilty for not forgiving him, telling you that you’re crazy or overreacting when you get upset. There’s a process of manipulation and it’s messy and really painful. And sometimes the end is the hardest part. It’s my experience that it really is darkest before dawn. My heart goes out to her.

  • Guest

    I think we need to have some compassion for the psychological fuckery that is being the victim of abuse. It is not as cut-and-dry good guy/bad guy when you’re in the middle of it. Or maybe it is, but it doesn’t feel that way at all. Because your abuser has spent years gaslighting you, pointing out your flaws and making you feel guilty for not forgiving him, telling you that you’re crazy or overreacting when you get upset. There’s a process of manipulation and it’s messy and really painful. And sometimes the end is the hardest part. It’s my experience that it really is darkest before dawn. My heart goes out to her.