I’m All For Smoking Weed, But Stop Claiming It Makes You A Better Mom

shutterstock_97427186 (1)__1371999733_142.196.156.251Hey parents! Feel free to talk about your drug habits if you are rich and white. If you live in Beverly Hills, you can give yourself and your high friends a cute little name, like the “Marijuana Moms” did. Then you can talk about how ingesting huge amounts of marijuana and taking massive bong hits makes you a better parent. FYI – not recommended if you live in a state that hasn’t legalized medical marijuana or if you are poor.

I am totally for the legalization of marijuana. I think it is fine for adults to use the drug. I’d rather be around a room full of stoned people than a room full of drunk people any day. I just think it’s funny when people insist that being stoned makes them a better parent.

The Huffington Post has a video of the “Marijuana Moms” discussing their exclusive marijuana-consuming parties. These basically consist of a chef coming over and preparing dishes like “cannabis-infused chicken picatta” and cooking everything in cannabis butter. The narration of the video cracks me up: ”In California, where marijuana is legal for medical reasons, more and more respectable women are choosing to dine with cannabis.” What makes these women respectable? I’m guessing their Beverly Hills zip code and pant-suits.

The video shows the group of “respectable” women dining on super-fancy pot-infused foods and offering sound bites like this one:

Most people assume that you are going to be stoned if you eat food infused with cannibus, but it actually depends on what strain that you’re using.

When I use cannibus quite frankly it does make me a better mom, because I’m calmer, I’m more rational, I’m not angry, I’m not stressed.

I guess I used all of the “wrong” strains when I consumed it in my twenties because I just remember feeling like I was literally cemented to my couch, crawling up my stairs on my hands and knees and brushing my teeth for an hour and a half. I’ve never been so stoned in all of my life. I couldn’t have cared for a pet rock, let alone a child.

Another favorite part of the video is a scene of one mother cheerfully proclaiming, “Mommy will be right back!” Cut to mommy taking a huge bong hit on the balcony. I’m all for enormous bong-hits amongst adults – but claiming that they make you a better parent is a little ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the scene of her reading the children’s book she created to explain her habit to her daughter:

“What’s that mommy? This is a joint. It’s made of marijuana.”

Really? Are there also books explaining how to make the perfect martini to our toddlers? What is the point?

Can we have vices and just let them be vices? Nobody’s perfect. Everyone has them. It’s annoying when we have to insist that they make us “better” at anything. Smoking pot makes you high and relaxed. Great. That’s good enough. Stop insisting that a bong hit makes you a super-mom. That’s just stupid.

(photo: Stepan Kapl/ Shutterstock)

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    • Blueathena623

      Xanax does that too. And a beer. And yet somehow I can’t imagine a kids book describing different anti-anxiety medications or seeing mom chug a beer on the balcony being recieved in a positive light.

      • Psych Student

        Then you clearly need more pot!

    • Blooming_Babies

      “Are there also books explaining how to make the perfect martini to our toddlers?” I smell a hit! Although you would have to invest in plastic martini glasses because even with the best training toddlers are crappy bartenders.

      Seriously though I’m all for legalized pot but like alcohol and cigarettes it doesn’t need to be used around your children or glorified to your children. On a side note they do develop strains now that won’t make you feel so stoned that you need to brush your teeth for and hour and a half, and apparently if you’re rich and white you have unlimited access to them.

      • Véronique Houde

        You and Eve should totally get together and write about how wine and martinis make you a better mom ;) I’d totally buy it, especially if it were to help fund the mommyish island!

    • Meg

      Super mom? No, but I do think there are cases where weed can make you a better mom. A relative of mine has anxiety and panic disorder and she smokes because xanax and antidepressants made her feel awful in a myriad of ways and she doesn’t drink. In a perfect world she would do yoga and meditate to relax, but that’s hard to do with 3 small children. You guys had that debate article about how it’s never okay to lose your cool with your kids and if you are a high stress person trying to avoid doing that and weed helps you with that, then why not? I’m pretty sure she’s not crawling up the stairs when she smokes, she just seems really chill and serene.

      I didn’t watch the video, but it sounds like they are maybe angling for a stoned housewives-esque reality show. Also, no child needs a book about weed and they should not be included in their mother’s drug habits. I found out as an adult that my parents occasionally got high at the neighborhood block parties but I would have never known if they hadn’t told me, and I feel like that’s how it should be.

      • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

        Well said. I think that there are plenty of cases in which weed can help one be a better parent. But that doesn’t necessitate a children’s book. And these women are totally trying to be the Real Housewives of Toker Town.

      • HempShare

        Why doesn’t everyone consume this herb should be the real question?

        Up until the time when the AMA ran the Alimentary Doctor (A.D.) out of town in favor of the Medical Doctor (M.D.), and Universities and Colleges became Big Money degree factories supported by GOVERNMENT and CORPORATIONS…cannabis cigarettes were smoked for asthma relief.

        Children smoked Cannabis Cigaretttes for Asthma Relief in the 1920s and their lungs were better off because of it NOT worse.

        Eli Lily & Co, Parke-Davis and many others made Cannabis Tinctures etc.

        Unfortunately for all of us, Colonel Lily had patented the Vegetable Capsule. He wanted everyone to make powder to fill capsules so he could sell capsules to everyone. This began 50 years before they became famous for Insulin.

        Hemp and Flax were a leading crop in the North prior to the Civil War, being grown ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY in Union States. Cotton was being grown ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY in Southern States. This is documented in the 1840-1860 Censuses. There is a HUGE drop-off of Hemp production during this time. A conspiracy theory would be that Hemp was sequestered, Cotton received the nod, and the War took place to liquidate “useless consumers” AND deplete Weapons Inventories so the Merchants of Death could replenish the Stores of the opponents. Bankers financing the weapons on both sides no doubt.

    • Cee

      I am all for pot. If it makes you calmer, saner, happier…go for it. But, you gotta admit that it impairs you. I’m tired of people who smoke that refuse to take that responsibility. “Why did you report that person got into a deadly crash for smoking pot, I’m going to wait until they say he was driving drunk because pot doesn’t cause car accidents” No no, that’s the same mentality a person that drinks has. If you want to talk about the benefits that pot has in your life, for your sanity and how it makes you a better parent, good for you,but don’t say it doesn’t impair you. When I take a xanax before work, I don’t perform at my best, when my coworkers smoke pot before work, they don’t either. Ive seen it, I have to repeat shit tons of times to teachers, teacher assistants and techs that are stoned. They forget what they say or do…around kids! I would imagine it does the same for parents. Yes, it decreases the panic attacks, depression, insomnia, pain that doesn’t allow you to get on with things, but it also has side effects that don’t make you a full functioning person.

      In short, smoke pot, drink, whatever but assume some responsibility and stop saying shit like pot doesn’t impair you at all.

      • HempShare

        Cannabis impairs in the Rules of Society. Cannabis is THE central element of Humanity and Harmonic Convergence.

        Fact is, the Human Being is “Born To Die”. We begin to die the moment we are birthed. So, technically we live a Quality of Death, or a Misery of Death.

        Cannabis provides a Quality of Death. Pharmaceutical Synthetic Opiates provide a Misery of Death. The choice is yours. Don’t force your choice on me. I won’t deny your choice.

        Cannabis Direct Deaths: 0

        Pharmaceutical Deaths Per Year: 19,000 +

        Your facts and perhaps thinking are impaired.

        (See Dr Robert Melamede for prescription on Critical Thinking)

        IF one will entertain a gander at Society one will observe Society are accepting of collateral murder of their fellow Human, AND dumping plutonium into the oceans. In the ‘Survival of Fittest’ story line, they are evidencing they fear for their lives.

        I define that as: Insanity

        PS: See the studies on Pot Smokers having less incidence of Lung Cancer than non-smokers.

    • Paul White

      Amen. I’m very pro legalization, but the amount of BS that some segments of the movement put out is very off putting. Yes, pot is a drug, It has some negative side effects. No, it isn’t totally harmless.

      • blh

        Thank you!

    • G.E. Phillips

      A-Fucking-Men.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      If my toddler doesn’t reach kindergarten knowing how to make the perfect martini, I might as well revoke my parental status.

    • kims

      since when does weed make you more rational?
      I think I am probably the most uptight person in the world. my mother & brother both smoke on an almost daily basis. I refuse to let them around my daughter if they are high. I expect my daughter to be curious about it in high school, I expect her to try it at some point. I hope she keeps me in the loop about what she’s experimenting with. I hope she gives me a chance to try to talk her out of it. because its a drug & its ILLEGAL & can have some pretty serious consequences if you get caught with it. if an adult is willing to take that risk its his or her prerogative. but I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking its harmless & not a big deal. yes, its not supposed to be addictive. but to a recovering alcoholic who drank because being drunk altered her mind, the way she thought & felt, you can’t tell me she won’t get addicted sure, in some states medical marijuana is allowed, but you need to have a script for it. but recreational use is still ILLEGAL & can come with serious consequences.

      • Ptownsteveschick

        I’m with you. Call me a square, but I wouldn’t parent drunk, or stoned and be proud of it. Especially since it is still illegal in most places. I’m really not about to get my kid taken away when they go to school telling people how “Mommy had to run outside for a bong hit”
        Also, my SO used to be a daily smoker. He vehemently denied being addicted, and now 4 years later admits that it was a harder habit to kick than cigarettes. Not addictive my ass.

      • Callie

        People who think marijuana is addictive misunderstand what addiction is. Being difficult to give up/forming a habit of using it =/= being addictive. Addiction comes with physical dependency and withdrawal and no studies have ever shown pot can cause the symptoms of addiction in the same way that cigarettes, alcohol, and other drugs can.

      • Ptownsteveschick

        I’m just saying he quit both cigarettes and pot, and whatever studies might say, it was definitely harder to stop up the so called not physically addictive one.

      • That_Darn_Kat

        There may not be studies showing it, but having once been in a relationship with a man who could not go more than 4 hours without taking a hit, I can say I much prefered when he would try to quit drinking and smoking cigarettes. When he would try to quit pot, he would get angry and violent (punching walls and stuff, never toward me). He would get incredibly moody and basically have to be in isolation from anyone because someone breathing too loud would set him off.

    • SDA

      UGH. I know people that take a puff or two after work to help unwind and enjoy/have patience for the kids. I know that my glass of wine after I walk in the door helps me relax and turn from work into playtime, but going around bragging about the super-parent it turns you into rubs me the wrong way. Sounds like these women are in it for themselves. Also, do they dine separately from their children? I don’t think eating your pot as part of your dinner entree is really a good family-friendly idea? Also, with pot, you have much less control over how impaired you feel, especially when you eat it! At least in my experiences.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      I 100% believe in the medicinal uses for weed. If using an anti-depressant like Prozac can improve our parenting, (which I think it did for me at one point) then why can’t the same be said for marijuana?

    • HempShare

      Let’s just drag the cat out of the bag:

      Humans relate to their own personal experiences. When the term “Marijuana” is used, most people think of their own personal experience with the FLOWERING BUDS of the Cannabis Sativa.L or Cannabis Indica Plants.

      Here is where the road wanders…

      I would venture the majority of those who have experienced “Marijuana”, but were never regular consumers, nor did they continue to consume it, MOST LIKELY had a “bad buzz” MIXED WITH ALCOHOL during High School or College.

      I hadn’t really experienced Cannabis free of alcohol until I was 46. However I consumed Cananbis from 16-46.

      Once I quit consuming Alcohol, the medicinal effects of Cannabis became quite evident. Suppression of my Crohn’s Disease symptoms being the most beneficial.

      So, those of you who are afraid of your fear of fear its ‘self’, Chill out. Cannabis is SAFE to grow in your GARDEN. This is a PLANT OPTION to provide QUALITY OF DEATH for people who choose not to consume Pharmaceutical which have been SCRIPTED as the only option.

      Just because you blacked out or puked on pot in High School or in College while you were drinking, doesn’t even mean people smoke it for medicinal use.

      IF you can’t control your kids to keep them from getting into your weed in the GARDEN the authorities will put you in lockup for the night, and you’ll remember next time.

      Parents, the REAL FIRST RESPONDERS, should be the ones to Police Natural Cannabis Medicinal consumption by their children.

      NOTE: RAW fresh Cannabis has no THC. No psycho-ACTIVE substances. Just pure medicine.

      Educate on the Edogenous Cannabinoid Receptor System (ECRS). Your MD neglected to inform you about the Body’s Regulating & Modulating System for Food Intake.