Anonymous Dad: I Secretly Want To Put My 14-Year-Old On Birth Control

birth control pillsAnonymous Mom is a weekly column of motherhood confessions, indiscretions, and parental shortcomings selected by Mommyish editors. Under this unanimous byline, readers can share their own stories, secrets, and moments of weakness with complete anonymity.

I am the father of a 14-year-old daughter. Let’s call her Dee. She’s gorgeous. I know that every father’s daughter is gorgeous, but in this case, it’s objectively true. She’s very developed for her age and very pretty; she turns a lot of heads.

She transitioned from a private middle school to a public high school and is now nearing the end of her freshman year. She had a bit of rough time in middle school. She was bullied and just didn’t have a good experience. However, upon changing schools, she blossomed and has become quite popular, well-liked, and very happy.

At the beginning of the year, she briefly dated, and quickly dumped, several of the entitled douchebags in her class. There was one I liked, but she was wiser than I, and just wasn’t going to let herself get played. After trying out several of these popular boys, she ended up “settling down” with a boy from continuation school. Let’s call him Daniel. Obviously, at first, I was not happy. You want a conventionally successful boy for your daughter, right? But she’s been with Daniel for five months now, and I have grown to like him very much.

The key element from my perspective is that Dee’s in charge of things. This boy really loves her, at least to the extent that 14-year-olds can love one another. For example, she’ll occasionally post some stupid, wrong-headed thing on Facebook, and someone will call her out on it. Daniel will jump in and defend her, no matter how wrong she is. He meets her at school every afternoon and walks her home. If she says, Daniel, come over and get me Starbucks on the way, he’s at our door, with coffee, within half an hour.

My wife, Dee’s stepmother, is very firm on certain rules: no going in the house together when an adult is not here, no closing the door to her room when we are here, etc. Essentially, my wife’s determined to prevent them from having sex.

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  • Anonymous

    You are not a bad father you are jus being over protective or just generally protective for your little girl. Trust in your judgment your gut is usually right not the internet. If you still have difficulty just confront her about it it’s usually about that age you would have this talk with your boy it’s no different for daddy’s little girl. Your a pretty chill and rad ass dad though for that I solute you just make it firm that it shouldn’t be a regular thing. Also at some point confront the boy if it’s uncomfortable for him then share some stories or whatever just again make it clear you are not adviseing suggesting or supporting it.

  • ms_elroy

    listen, you can’t just “put her on birth control.” She’s a human being, it’s her choice. What you can do is TALK to her. Ask her about her knowledge, opinions and what she’d like to do. You can’t stop her for doing anything and neither can your wife. You also have no right to. Make sure her options are open and that she’s not afraid to talk to you about things. That’s the best you can do.

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