There are many strange and surprising elements of pregnancy. But when you get to the last two weeks, there are a few tip offs that help you realize this baby is coming out of you really soon.
25. You’ve become the most popular person in the elevator.
24. Seriously, everyone wants to talk about your baby. Or touch your belly.
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23. Women have started telling you all of their horrible labor stories. In terrifying detail.
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22. Toddlers walk faster than you.
21. Going outside makes you out of breath.
20. You’ve stopped drinking anything but water. Because it’s not worth the acid reflux.
19. On the subway, people excitedly offer you seats. Where were they three months ago?
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18. You can’t stop thinking about all the awkward places your water could break.
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17. That is, when you’re not actually on your way to the bathroom.
16. Construction workers love you. (PS: Probably because your boobs are HUGE)
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15. Your bed has officially become a pillow fort.
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14. Your husband/partner has forgotten that he/she once slept there.
13. It feels like your baby is throwing a raging kegger in your stomach.
12. You’ve become the target demographic for things like “the belly bib.”
11. Or, you’ve just started using your belly as a table.
10. You spent the whole weekend hanging paintings, cleaning out the fridge and doing a bunch of crap you’ve ignored your entire pregnancy.
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9. You just burst into tears for no reason. For the fourth time today.
8. You take one look at a bar/restaurant full of backless stools and declare: “Nope. We’re out of here.”
7. Everything in the LL Bean catalog is starting to look really awesome. (Look! Loose fitting tankinis!)
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6. You decided today was a good day to ferociously clean your bathroom floor.
5. You’ve stopped Googling your labor questions, because you just end up on the Weird Internet.
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4. Every position you sit in has become uncomfortable.
3. When people you haven’t seen in awhile see you, they often gasp.
2. You are 9+ months pregnant.
1. The prospect of taking care of a new human is less scary to you than the idea of staying pregnant any longer.