All of you Beliebers need to get the hell out of my yard because I would have also booed Justin Bieber at the Billboard music awards for his incredibly dull performances and vainglorious acceptance speech. I have tried to understand Bieber. Lord knows I have tried. I am down with the kids. I think kids should have their own musical icons and enjoy music their parents just don’t understand and swoon over what they consider “heartthrobs” and all that good stuff. Growing up, I swooned over plenty of rock and pop stars my parents thought were goofy. But Bieber, who not only officially abandoned his poor baby monkey by missing the deadline to rescue his pet from German officials acted like a total arrogant snot last night.
First of all, Bieber performed some totally goofy airplane skit where he borrowed the egg from Lady GaGa‘s stage production and slapped it with some graphics from Journey’s Infinity album and appeared in a cloud of fog to perform a song called Take You. All while wearing some sort of latex long crotch diaper pants.
And dancing in what can only be described as mincing robot.
And then he performed another “hit” song which he performed with Will I. Am where they both did the mincing robot.
Besides his derivative and bland blend of recycled pop bubblegum regurgitation, Beiber also accepted the “Milestone award” and in his acceptance speech thanked his mom and Jesus Christ and proclaimed:
I’m 19 years old. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. This is not a gimmick. I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously. This other bull should not be spoken of.
And I’m paraphrasing here because it was late and I’m old and cranky and I missed Game Of Thrones because I wanted to stay up and watch Prince who performed (with his unfortunate afro, why Prince, why?) with an actual guitar and probably confused the hell out of everyone because here is a man playing an actual instrument (amazingly so) and so many musicians just don’t play instruments anymore. But back (sadly) to Bieber. He was booed. And booed loudly. And it’s because the guy has been traipsing all over the world and wearing weird long crotch diaper pants and acting like a self-important numbskull and his acceptance speech just made him seem defensive and arrogant.
The kids can have their Bieber and be Beliebers and like what they like, but the fact is, anyone who demands that people take them seriously as an “artist” deserves to be mocked and criticized. Even if they are only 19-years-old. And even if they thank JC and their mommy. Because actual art doesn’t demand that you pay attention to it, it compels you to pay attention to it whether you like it or not. Bieber just makes most of us want to take a long nap.