• Sat, May 18 2013

Did Your Man Cheat On You? Pat Robertson Says It’s Your Fault

Screen Shot 2013-05-18 at 8.37.44 AMHave you ever experienced the betrayal of a loved one? Has your man ever strayed and left you heartbroken, confused, and angry? Well – it was your fault. That’s the lesson Pat Robertson - famous televangelist, God-lover, woman-hater and douche bag – wants us all to learn.

On a recent episode of The 700 Club, Robertson and his female co-star attempted to answer a letter from a viewer who was upset that her husband cheated and was having a hard time forgiving him. His female co-star had this to say: ”Forgiveness can be one of the most difficult things in the whole wide world to do. Especially when it comes to a spouse, because that is one of the ultimate betrayals.” True that. You have a point. Here’s what Pat had to say:

Here’s the secret. Stop talking about the cheating! He cheated on you. Well, he’s a man…

Does he provide a home for you to live in? Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Do you have a happy family? Is he handsome?

Start focusing on those things, and essentially fall in love with him again.

Stop talking about it and fall in love with him again! Totally. That will be easy, because picturing my husband naked with another woman is a total turn on. Oh wait. No it’s not. Does he provide a home, food and clothes for me? What is he – my captor? Welcome to 2013, where most of us provide that for each other. I buy my clothes, my food and pay my share of the rent, so what now?

Touch his face. Hold his hand. Look into his eyes. Talk to him. And you pray, “Oh God, teach me not to hate him when he was with that stripper in that hotel room 10 years ago…” give him honor instead of trying to worry about it. Recognize, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit. What you want to do is make the home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander.

Wait, hold up. He was with a stripper? Oh, hell no. And it’s my fault because our home wasn’t “wonderful” enough?

Pat, stick to your specialty – condemning all of us sinners to the fiery pits of hell – and save the doling out of marital advice to the those who actually live in this century.

(photo: YouTube)

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  • faifai

    “Males have a tendency to wander a little bit. What you want to do is make the home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander.”–I guess what I’m supposed to do instead of being angry at my hypothetically cheating husband, is be angry at the hypothetical God who created all men to cheat? That’s what I’m getting out of this.
    Dayum, Pat…. What a nasty box you just compartmentalized ALL of your gendered into.

    • Lovely Livvy

      Please do not think that Pat even knows God. God created us all to love and cheating was not apart of the plan. This man loves himself and could never speak for GOD

  • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

    The stripper ten years ago sounds really specific. I wonder if he has something to hide from his Misses

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      I thought that was really weird, too.

    • Sara

      Oh, I doubt he would bother to hide it, since a man’s infidelity is apparently to be expected and is really his wife’s fault. It must be horrible to be married to that man.

  • Blooming_Babies

    So then if I cheat with a male stripper should my husband ignore it, get more handsome, buy me a nicer house and better food? Clearly it would be his fault.

    • Andrea

      Hell yeah! If I cheat, it must be because my husband isn’t handsome enough, he isn’t giving me a nice enough home, he isn’t buying me enough stuff! Life is really simple really.

      /sarcasm off

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      I’m sure he would call you a whore. He hates women.

    • Blooming_Babies

      So so true.

    • Rachel Sea

      It’s MEN who are inclined to wander, you prurient harlot, now get in the kitchen and make him a pie.

    • dsar

      LOL you wish skanky I bet it would be your wet dream to cheat on your husband who provides you with a house and family with some dopey male stripper LOL what a catch, feel sorry for your husband

  • Blueathena623

    Here’s what I don’t get — thou shall not commit adultery is one of the big ten, right? So how can someone break one of the big ten (arguably what god thinks is most important) and his spouse is supposed to forgive him, but gay people are going to hell?

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      Also when Christ talks about how a man should not lust after a woman even in thought. And when Paul says man should marry so as not to be lust driven. I guess he forgets that men are actually held accountable. I think he’s hiding something.

  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

    AAAaaannd this is why people believe we Christians are all insane and stupid. Disgusting, Pat Robertson, your words are demeaning and disgusting! I love how he just dismisses the man from wrongdoing, though the Bible clearly states that a man is to control his urges. Go read that again, Robertson! UGH!

    • http://www.facebook.com/joemcnr Joe McNeer

      I totally agree courtney. From my perspective it’s one thing to hear a woman say that all men are dogs. It’s entirely another when a guy (supposed to be preacher) says it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joemcnr Joe McNeer

    In most christian homes the man still is the main provider so he is speaking to his audience. I would be interested to see the reaction of the same commenters here if they were told it was a woman who cheated. I have been cheated on by almost every woman i have been with and was told by almost every one that i had to forgive those women in each situation. I bet the same men should not be forgivin crowd that is posting here would be alot more lenient if the sexes were reversed. The only problem I have with his reply is that men tend to stray. I have never cheated. Not all men stray.

    • http://www.facebook.com/caitlynjade Jade Cahoon

      No. I do not agree with that. Cheating is cheating no matter who does it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/joemcnr Joe McNeer

      I agree I’m just saying the reaction is stronger when a man does it now days. I have been in the opposite position twice and told by every one I would have to forgive her and maybe I’m not making her happy.

    • Kat

      I, a woman if that wasn’t already clear, have been cheated on too. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that you’d be told that, and I believe I’d be just as outraged if I were to read that story rather than this one.

  • Tea

    While worded like a bull in a china shop, I don’t see the core of his advice as being a bad thing, depending on the intent of the one who cheated.

    If the person is genuinely sorry and working towards salvaging the relationship (Actively doing so, as in therapy and hard core relationship work, not ” I’ll never do it again.”), then doing your best to forgive, move on, and count your blessings is not a bad thing. There is a huge difference between ” I did this, I’m deeply sorry, I want to work on our relationship, These are the areas where I feel unhappy, this is why I did it, I’m committed make things work with us.” and ” I’m sorry, let’s never speak of this again.” The second of these is a horrible way to “fix” the problem and you shouldn’t force yourself to be content with that. Hell, if you don’t want to fix the relationship yourself, then bail.

    However, I think his “Men sometimes stray” comment does a huge disservice to both genders, as it removes the responsibility and gives an easily dismissed excuse, rather than working on the core issue. I’ve heard so much stupid, both bro-talk and queer rambling, on how It’s expected for guys to cheat a little. It’s disgusting, especially when the bros tend to pretty quickly say that they would dump any girl that would.

    I also admit, I’m not the kind of person who could stick around after such a thing, because I’m notoriously bad at forgiving and putting things out of mind. I guess it would honestly depend heavily on the circumstances (Like alcohol use.)

    • Tea

      Edit: “Hell, if you don’t want to fix the relationship yourself, then bail”

      Meaning that if you don’t want to stick around, no matter the circumstances around it, bail. Not that you are personally responsible for fixing this. It sounded much better in my head.

    • Psych Student

      You make a good point. If you’re going to stay with someone who cheated, you (the royal “you”) have to make a decision to forgive and let go. If you want to keep going on about it and holding if over the head of the cheating partner, then there is no point to remaining in a relationship that makes both parties miserable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/iwill.findu.90 Iwill Findu

    Really what an ass. Infidelity was one of the few reasons listed in the bible as a sound reason for a divorce. He can shove up that up his ass and smoke it, if he wants to give christian advice maybe he should spend a little more time learning what the bible has to say on the matter.
    Infidelity, abuse, and abandonment.

    • Andrea

      Sadly, it is only listed if the woman does it. Then he is allowed to divorce her. It doesn’t mention male infidelity at all :(

    • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

      Yes it does. The three listed are why women can leave men. According the the old testament a man could leave a woman for just about any reason.

    • http://www.facebook.com/iwill.findu.90 Iwill Findu

      I look at it this way. When the bible was written only women were property to be owned, and it’s human writers weren’t able to see the future or outside their own culture. Women are no longer property and we don’t live in that time or culture. So if it applied to men then, then it applies to women now.

    • Psych Student

      Can you please explain the “things can change along with the culture” idea to people who hate on gays because the bible says to? You sound like a perfectly rational individual who is able to read the bible and make adjustments accordingly as to allow for acceptance and a healthy incorperation of religion into your life. You know, the sort of relgious person that most manage to be who hang their heads in shame and want to scream “the crazies don’t speak for us!”

    • http://www.facebook.com/iwill.findu.90 Iwill Findu

      The bible doesn’t say to hate on homosexuals. Homosexuality is listed as something not to engage in but there are a lot of things the bible tells you not to do (like get tattoos, piercings, wearing blended fabric). That said I’m not about to condemn someone for being homosexual for lots of reasons. If they’re not a christian I have no right to except them to conform to my religious morals for starters. Also as far as religion goes homosexuality is a sexual sin but since no-ones getting all crazy and bashing people that have sex outside of marriage or look at porn I can’t judge another person for their own personal sin struggles and it seems like sexual sin is such an easy one to fall into these days. Lastly are the great verses “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god.” and “love thy neighbor”

    • Lovely Livvy

      It hurts so much to read your message and to know that I have to hang my head in shame every day because of the crazies that do at times speak for “us”. The bible never says that we should hate anyone, least of all homosexuals. The BIBLE teaches us to love and forgive each other with as much grace as God gives us all. The scary part is that Jesus taught we should not throw stones and that is what seems to have happened with the crazies and the homosexual community. If God considers all sin equal who has the right to decide what is “hell worthy”? It makes me shake my head in amazement because I wonder how they came up with the idea that someone would make a sacrifice of their own child to save EVERYONE and somehow then turn around and say certain sexual practices are okay to hate people for. Since He sent His Son to die to save us, the “fiery pits of hell, homo-bashers, haters, and crazies” are missing the whole point. If you read the NT you will find Jesus was at war with those types in His day. He was always battling the people who took the law and used it to persecute and condemn others. They killed Him because He took that stand. The saddest part of all is that the book summarized into one word would be :LOVE. Christ died to help everyone -that includes homosexuals and that makes me LOVE them all, along with everyone else.

    • LET

      Having not seen the original Hebrew/Greek (depending on book), I would assume the male commands were actually gender neutral, as gender neutral is generally written in the “masculine” in other languages. Many misinterpretations in the Bible are simply mistranslations (but, like I said, I would need to see the original to be sure :) ).

  • Patti Blount

    This advice is anti-christ, meaning that it is against who Christ is and what His will is. When my husband relayed to me what Pat Robertson had said, I remarked that it is just an indicator of how high-jacked Christianity now is in America, partly due to the
    “prosperity gospel” which has permeated the “church.” This “gospel” is all about “me,” and glorifies the flesh of man. No wonder he gave fleshly advice, as he has been propigating this false and lying gospel for years now. I pray for the woman who now feels condemned that she must have done something wrong, when the truth is that her husband needs to take responsibility for his choices no matter what she has done, or what she has not done. My husband’s reply was that any man’s wife couldn’t do enough, if the man was hell-bent on cheating. Now that is a sound statement.

    • Lovely Livvy

      Patti please preach- The prosperity “profakes” are destroying the faith of so many because of their lies and selfish ambition. Christ would have treated Pat and his co-horts with the same disgust he felt toward the Pharisees. They are our modern Pharisees- whited supulchres…smh

    • slappyhappy

      a male chauvinist pig just like my former pastor

  • Cee

    Would he say the same thing about a woman being a cheater?

  • moda

    Take action. Yes, please continue to post your wit and humor here among like-minded friends. But also take a few minutes to seek out those pages where the other-minded folks lurk and post there. Here’s why…

    The saddest part is this: the women who sat breathlessly awaiting his answer to the question the wife of the cheater had asked, because they were too damaged to think for themselves, were further damaged by the poison he spewed on air.

    Seriously – which one of us hasn’t felt such sadness when we listened to the story of just one woman so entrenched in religiosity her whole life that it took years for her to break free of those chains and gain her freedom from the paralizing fear of an eternal hell if she broke her vows?

    In one brief but vile segment on the air, Pat Robertson damaged countless lives.

    Pat Robertson condones cheating. Pat Robertson condones prostitution in this patriarchal diatribe. Pat Robertson is a black smudge on the face of all Christianity. Pat Robertson is a perfect example of religiosity gone amuk. Pat Robertson needs to be taken of the air.

    Make your voices heard. Fight the “Reconciliation Industrial Complex”, fight those who would have the audacity to blame those who have been cheated!

    Infidelity is complex, traumatic, dangerous, patriarchal and contributes to the spread of disease.

    • Albert Darringdon

      Pat Robertson’s charity, Operation Blessing, provides 2 million pounds of food aid each week in the US alone. Then there’s international food aid, clean water and other disaster relief work that OB does.

      You might say Robertson has touched countless lives in a positive way.

      What have the feminists done besides whine about their feelings constantly and push their special interests to harm society as a whole?

  • Kat

    WHAT a DOUCHEBAG! The even more infuriating part is there’s just no arguing with a moron like this. I could say, “I hope your wife cheats on you with every man she meets,” but I know the response would be, “well that’s not the same because she’s a woman and she doesn’t have the needs a man does,” or some such bullshit. Now will you tell me rape victims have to realize it’s just a man’s nature because of his needs, and that victims should shut up and appreciate the flattery? That was meant to be sarcastic, but sadly, I just realized he more probably thinks that than doesn’t…

  • chickadee

    Consider the source. This dude is a fundamentalist nutjob.

  • M,

    Once again…fuck religion.

  • Sarah

    I dunno. Personally, I kind of agree with him. If your partner or spouse is cheating on you, it is your fault. They’re not getting something from you that they need – be it sex, intimacy, friendship, etc. And if they’re cheating on you because they’re just a plain-and-simple cheating bastard, well, you chose them. It strikes me as desperate to stress over forgiving your partner for cheating. Either move on or don’t, forgive them or split up. But I also don’t understand why people freak out over their partner cheating on them and I’m also not religious so divorce isn’t a big deal to me, either.

    • LiteBrite

      The reverse is true too. If you’re not getting something that you need from your partner – sex, friendship, etc – then hey, you chose them. So no, I don’t buy the it’s-the-non-cheating-partner’s-fault argument.

      However, I do agree that 10 years is a long time to harbor a grudge. Either leave or forgive them and move on. If you can’t do either, then it’s time to seek professional help to help you sort out your feelings (and I do not mean Pat Robertson).

  • Psych Student

    This is the “boys will be boys” bullshit that makes me want to rip my hair out! I strongly object to the idea that people in general aren’t designed to engage in infidelity. Monogmy doesn’t mean you don’t want to sleep with other people, it means you resist the urge to do so. This happens for both men and women, regardless of orientation (unless they are asexual, then it might be different). All people are programmed to cheat since monogomy isn’t a natural state. There’s no reason people can’t be happy in monogomous relationships if both people involved decide that’s what they want (many couples do it without problems).

    I also object to the idea (and Pat didn’t say this, but it’s a common sentiment), that after a single act of cheating, the relationship should be over. Provided all involved are willing to forgive and move on (which may take some work, but it’s do-able), then isn’t it worth it to try to move past an infidelity and move on? Especially if children are involved. Mind you, if it was a long-term affair/the person who cheated is still seeing the piece on the side, that’s a different case.

    But really, sometimes cheating happens. In therapy, we (the psychologist and the couple) often want there to be a reason for the cheating so we (the shrink) can help the couple make changes. But sometimes shit happens (this isn’t coming from someone who has cheated, but from someone who understands human nature) and it might just be better to move on. But let’s not pretend like it is any more acceptable for a man to cheat than a woman. Or that the non-cheating partner necessarily did something wrong.

  • Albert Darringdon

    Actually, Robertson didn’t say the cheating was the woman’s fault, he only said that the woman should forgive her husband if he cheats, even though that is a very hard thing to do.

    So what’s wrong with that?

    • http://www.facebook.com/iwill.findu.90 Iwill Findu

      Forgiveness is all well and good, but forgiving someone doesn’t mean that there aren’t consequences for their actions. You can forgive a cheating spouse (meaning your not going to hold on to those negative emotions) but that trust can still be damaged beyond repair. And really if you can’t trust your spouse you shouldn’t stay married.
      Forgiveness and trust aren’t the same thing.

    • Albert Darringdon

      My point is that Robertson did not in fact say what the article is accusing him of saying. Words are being put in his mouth. The article rabidly condemns Robertson simply because he doesn’t advocate blaming, divorce or revenge.

      In a Christian context, forgiveness isn’t about personal emotional gratification. Christ extended grace to the undeserving, even forgiving those who brutally murdered him without cause and followers of Jesus Christ are expected to do the same. The repentant sinner is shown mercy by God for his or her sins and is therefore required to show mercy to their fellow man.

      Many, many married couples get past cheating and heal.

  • Teal

    Was Pat Robertson always this crazy?! Or is he just senile now? I’m really confused about his stance on this, because according to the Bible, adultery is the only reason for divorce, so he’s essentially speaking against what the Bible says. Whaa?

  • dsar

    He’s right you know, divorces with white women are skyrocketing, white women are the main contributing factor to divorces in every marriage white women enter, so time to appreciate men who actually will stick with your ungrateful ass, because they are getting fewer and fewer LOL

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