Mom-To-Be Enters Unborn Baby Into Beauty Pageant And Destroys My Faith In Humanity

shutterstock_136893431__1368798429_142.196.156.251Clearly, I have a problem with pageant moms. Not all of them. Just the ones who make it alarmingly clear that they are projecting all of their lost ambitions onto their poor children. Jenny Oliver – the 26-year-old mother-to-be who is entering her fetus in a beauty pageant – definitely qualifies as one of those women.

She’s entered her yet-to-be-born daughter into a pageant so she would be registered in time to compete when she is three months old.

She told The Sun:

“I’ve got a tiny pale pink and white dress in mind for Ella. She’s only going to be three months old but she’ll have a bit of fun on the day.
Walking down that catwalk with my gorgeous baby will make me feel a million dollars — even though I’ll still be carrying my baby weight and wearing daggy clothes.

I hope she wins — it would be fab to have a baby sash and crown to add to the collection. I have so much planned for her.”

Ugh. Where do I start? First of all, she’s not going to have a “bit of fun.” She’s going to be three months old. She’s not going to know what the hell is going on – or care. This is clearly all about your desire to prance down a catwalk. Well, you should have spent your life working your ass off to stay in shape and perfect the art of sequin wearing and make-up application. Pawning this off on your infant daughter is stupid.

I don’t have a problem with pageants if it’s what a child is into. I have a friend whose daughter has been obsessed with them for as long as I can remember. My friend hates it – but plays along because it’s what her daughter wants. Understanding that your child is her own being who should be allowed to blossom into what she is meant to be is one of the most important parts of parenthood, in my opinion. I don’t want to project any specific preferences or qualities onto my children. I want to nurture them and allow them to become who they are.

From the article, it seems Jenny’s eldest daughter really came into pageants on her own – and really loves them. I don’t fault her for allowing her daughter to explore that. But I’d like to gently remind her that all of our kids deserve the same opportunity – to carve out their own paths. Don’t birth a child in the shadow of her older sister, and assume she wants all of the same things.

Slow your roll, lady.

(photo: tomer turjeman/ Shutterstock)

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  • Zettai

    Jeez. Once I saw an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras where a couple had entered a baby ONE DAY OLD. How this was possible or maybe even legal I don’t know.

    • Makabit

      This could just be me, but I think that for the first couple of days you should be too excited about having the baby to think about doing stuff with it.

    • Zettai

      AKA, “trying to make money off of it”. Agreed.

    • Kaela Taylor

      sorry but a day after having my baby.. I wanted to sleep and HEAL. it is not fun shooting blood everytime you sit up.

  • chickadee

    I hope that poor baby has an enormous poo blowout in that tiny pale pink and white dress juuuuuuuuust as the mother parades her out onto the ‘catwalk.’

  • Eve Vawter

    This sucks because I have totally done the same thing with your beautiful fetus.

    • chickadee

      “Girl, Let Me Enter the Product of Our Love in a Beauty Pageant Where Our Love Will Win Ultimate Grand Supreme Love Fetus.”

    • Guerrilla Mom


  • AS

    Oh. I thought this was going to be where someone entered a picture of their 3-D ultrasound into one of those “Vote for my cute baby” things you see on Facebook all the time. Oddly enough I am a little relieved, even though it is way over the top.

  • Greer Phillips

    Baby as accessory. GAH.

  • Jennifer

    I hope the ultrasound was wrong, and baby Ella turns out to be an Elmer. Pretty Princess dreams shattered! ;)

    • Makabit

      Ah hell, put Elmer in the pink and white dress and tote him down the catwalk. It’s not as though you can tell the difference with their diapers on.

    • FF4life

      Actually…. some of these nutters actually make their sons compete. Little Tuxes and everything.

  • Makabit

    I worry about what may be coming, but in this case, I really don’t see much a problem. She clearly wants to feel good about herself and show the baby off…OK. The baby will be three months old, and totally indifferent to the whole thing.This sort of isn’t posing a problem for anyone until the kid is old enough to actually like or dislike doing this thing.

  • Véronique Houde

    You know how some people have really ugly babies, but you’d never say they were ugly because you don’t want to offend the mom? I hope that this mom doesn’t end up with an ugly baby. I also totally imagine that baby SCREAMING bloody murder when on stage because she will be three months old, probably waaay past her bedtime, hungry, and cranky because of all of the noise. Fun? HA!

    • C.J.

      That’s what I was thinking. What if she ends up with an ugly baby. Not all babies are cute, some of them have to grow in to their features.

    • JewelEyedGamerGirl

      Most babies look like potatoes for a long time.

  • jisme

    My daughtet is 3 and has been in 2 pagents and they were a week apart. it was a last minute thing and it wasn’t all grand and preppy just a hometown pagent for the local kids. she was 6 months at the time and thou she placed in both i was just happy cause i got to dress her up really nice for a moment before changing her back into her old clothes that get ruined from spit up and those things!!

  • gothicgaelicgirl

    What’s next- entering a sperm in a bonnet??