• Fri, May 17 2013

Kim Kardashian Plans To Take Baby On Tour With Kanye In A Few Months Because She Has No Idea How Hard It Is To Parent A Newborn

shutterstock_136960085__1368809092_142.196.167.223When pregnant friends who haven’t had kids yet tell me about their grandiose plans after baby is born, I usually just smile and nod and say something along the lines of, That sounds great! Why rain on their parade? They’ll learn on their own after baby is born that it’s never business as usual. So Kim Kardashian plans to take her three-month-old on tour with Kanye WestThat sounds great!

TMZ reports when Kanye leaves for his tour, Kim and baby are going along for the ride: “the touring company has already been given orders to arrange for cribs and soundproof hotel rooms at every stop.”

Okay. In theory – that sounds great. But do you remember what it was like to have a three-month-old? The no sleep, the constant feeding – I know I just wanted to be around the comforts of home. Having a newborn is hard enough as it is without throwing in a bunch of travelling.

Admittedly, Kim isn’t a commoner like myself. She’ll have nannies and endless amounts of help and she may actually feel comfortable leaving her newborn for extended periods of time so she can enjoy touring around the globe with Kanye. Or she may be totally attached to baby, not want to leave it’s side, and resent the hell out of Kanye for going about business as usual while she is trapped on a tour bus with a crying infant. Nah. I’m pretty sure it’ll be the former.

Do celebrities have the same struggles as the rest of us parents do? Do they sleep for three hours a night when their children are newborns? Do they breastfeed every hour and a half? Maybe they don’t. Maybe I have no idea what I am talking about. Maybe the fact that Kim Kardashian is richer than God will make her parenting experience completely different from mine, and a tour around the world with her rockstar baby daddy will be the easiest, most normal thing in the world.

Good for you, Kim. That sounds great!

(photo: DFree/ Shutterstock)

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  • Justme

    I don’t want to sit here and be that bitter old woman cackling “just you wait!” but at the same time…that sounds like a terrible plan.

  • Nicole A

    My 3-month-old is a breeze. My 3-year-old is not. I could possibly make it around the world with the 3-month-old ONLY. But I would hate every. single. second. I want my bed. My blanket. My bathtub. Hotel living is fun. For a week. And that poor baby won’t know which way is up. Babies need stability. Some form of a schedule. I hope she’s hiring some awesome nannies.

    • Justme

      Yes. The bed, the blanket, the bathtub. And don’t forget the DVR. But more than all that, I would want anonymity on those days when everything has gone to crap and it’s two o’clock and I’m still in pajamas with greasy hair and no make-up. I don’t think Kim will get those kinds of days on tour with Kanye. But then again, I also don’t think the word “anonymity” is in the Kardashian lexicon.

  • Anika

    My 3 month old sleeps 10-12 hours at a night and is relentlessly cheerful all day, she loves going places and meeting people. Every baby is different but if she has an easy baby it might not be so bad.

  • Makabit

    I think it’s doable, given the amount of money this family has. People on staff will deal with all the laundry/cooking/driving/logistics stuff that makes handling a newborn impossible in the real world, and a nanny or two will give her enough of a break to get sleep and shower. My daughter is four months now, and if we had staff, I could totally go on tour with her.

    But a lot will depend on the baby’s personality.

  • http://www.whatwouldshethink.com/ Rachelle

    So yeah. Doing a roadtrip now with my 5 month old. It’s… okay. Would NOT do it with a newborn though. Then again, I’m not Kim. Which means I don’t have her cash and staff. She’ll probably get more sleep than the baby. Damn her.

  • Boots

    We travelled with our newborn constantly. In fact, it was easier then than it is now that she’s older. Our social life for the first 4mths was awesome! Every baby is different, but getting to stroll around different areas each week can be a lovely treat for the mother. Baby sure as hell won’t notice!

  • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

    I’m just not a part of the “caring for a newborn is so hard” bandwagon. My son as a newborn was easy! I mean, yeah, I ran on 8 hours of sleep broken up between like 4 days and I was tired, but I was also on an adrenaline rush. (OMG, look what I made!) Having a social life was easy, then, too. All he wanted to do was sleep and look around, and he didn’t care who was holding him. Now, he’s 18 months old, and he’s all, “I want my blankie [everywhere with me, even in 100 degree heat]” and “I want my mommy!” all the time. He throws tantrums. We have to lug 800 toys around with us to keep him occupied on long car rides, in a restaurant, or anywhere else that we expect him to sit down. He can’t sleep if there’s stuff going on, unlike when he was a newborn and he could easily (and did) sleep through an F5 tornado, and he’s a little turd when he doesn’t get a nap.

    Not that this is relevant or anything, but I am curious. My husband and I are trying for our second baby. Should I get pregnant this month, my little boy will be just over 2 when the next one arrives. I’ve heard some people say that’s a good spacing between them, and others say that I will regret having two that close in age. And I must admit, I am a little nervous. When Con Man was a newborn, if I wanted to sleep, I could sleep with him. But that’s not possible with a Toddler Tornado. Other Moms – Any advice? Or anything else that is a definite challenge with two little kids?

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      I think if you can deal with a toddler while 9 months pregnant, you can deal with anything.

    • Blueathena623

      I think it all depends on what type of newborn you have/had. My kid had colic. He barely slept and screamed a lot. I can’t imagine traveling with him — I could barely make it to the grocery store. Now, him as a 15 month old, no sweat.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      C-Man was colicky, too, but his episodes worked like clock work. It was every evening around 6 and only lasted for a couple of hours. If you folded him up just right on his chest, he wouldn’t cry constantly. So we were able to plan things around that, and be home or at least in privacy when the bouts began. I thank goodness for that. And even though I know my colicky baby was easy compared to most, I still wouldn’t wish that on anybody. :/

    • hdonovan

      Only had one, but my mother had my brother almost 5 years after me and I recall helping (holding plane tickets, carrying the diaper bag along with my bag of toys) the couple of times we had to fly without Dad. She mentioned that she liked her way in that only one kid at a time had to be carried, was in diapers, and needed all the baby STUFF. She did say that it must have been nice to get done with all the naps, feeding, and diapers in a few years but that she couldn’t imagine what those years would have been like.

      Also, a lot depends on the kids and if you work outside the home. I was the difficult kid (picky eater, hated to sleep) but was a great traveler. Brother was very easy. Mom went back to teaching when I was 2.5 but stayed home after my brother was born until he was in kinder garden. Good luck whatever you do!

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Thank you! There is also a 5 year age difference between my older brother and I. And my mom being the #1 person that I call when I need parenting advice, this is the one area that she can’t really advise me on. She says she liked having a 5 year old that could be trusted to not try to play with matched or run outside to play in the street if she wanted to take a little nap on the couch with newborn me. This sounds very appealing and my original plan was to have at least 4 years between kids, but I’m nearing 30 and I have some degenerative musculo-skeletal problems that were made worse by my first pregnancy. So, mainly because of that, I just don’t wanna be 31 and 35 having my second and third.

    • Psych Student

      I’m not a mom, so I can only talk about being a sibling. My brother and I are 2 years apart and my mom (who was a stay-at-home which can make life easier). We went through a time where we really didn’t get along, but before and after that worked really well. He looked up to me when he was little and I was happy be a big sister and help with the baby. Now we are close and I like having a brother who’s at a similar place in life.

      My wife has two younger brothers who are each about a year and a half apart. She’s not close to her younger brother (the middle one) because he went off to be a born-again Christian, but we are both close to her youngest brother who’s almost 3 years younger. Having the three kids so close together was hard on her mom (a stay-at-home until the kids were all in school), but she liked it and accepted that sometimes they were a challenge. But my wife maintains that she *loves* having two brothers close in age to play with growing up. Even when they picked up different interests, they was almost always someone to play with. Given the extra information you give later about your age and health, I say go for it. There are so many unknowns (how the baby will be, when the toddler will settle – it ever). There will be days everyone is being unhelpful, but I bet if you just remember to take advantge of the sleeping baby to give special time to the toddler, you’ll all live through the experience and have kids who are close in age and will be able to have fun with each other.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Thank you. That is great advice. :)

  • Unhappy gilmore

    I think one of the reasons non-parents dislike parents so much is due to this kind of bitchiness.

    • Catherine

      Exactly. This was pretty uncalled for.

      For the record, we travelled with our 2 month old, sure it wasn’t easy as pie, but it was certainly do-able and wasn’t some kind of special torture. It was what it was. Unless there is a medical condition in the mix, newborns are pretty chill.

    • Kat

      Hey now, I think this comment was uncalled for too. Kinda feels like you’re implying that if I don’t consider my baby “chill,” either I’m an impatient, lazy mother or my baby’s miserable for some other reason. Eh? Uncalled for.

    • lea

      Word.

      I am so sick to death of parents spying my pregnant belly and then smirking at me before giving me some patronising line about how “you’ll see”.

      I think they are actually worse than the ones who go on and on about how my life will change and its soooo hard etc etc.

      (Do they actually think I don’t KNOW my life is going to change? I know there is a baby in there, that is kinda the point…)

      I have given strict orders to my close friends to smack me in the face if I turn into one of those parents.

    • Blooming_Babies

      “I have given strict orders to my close friends to smack me in the face if I turn into one of those parents.” Lol hell yes!

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      Really? I think this comment is bitchier than anything I wrote in the article.

    • Catherine

      What you wrote was judgemental based upon your perceived capabilities rather than actual experience. It deserved a snarky reply.

  • Jessie

    I loved the newborn phase!!! The toddler phases, not so much.

  • Seriously.

    I have a four month old and most certainly could travel with him long-term if I wanted to. Just because some parents use their babies as an excuse to change their whole lives and routines doesn’t mean that’s what everyone has to conform to. I’ve taken him on 2 weekend trips to Niagara Falls so far (including when he was only 3 weeks old). He sleeps just as well in a hotel in his play pen as he does at home. You can still be a human being with a life even if you have a baby.

  • hdonovan

    O.K., you are in NO way the only one to do this but, based on this article, you seem like a good person to ask. When did the “the” get dropped from in front of baby? As in

    “…. plans after baby is born, I usually just smile and nod…….They’ll learn on their own after baby is born.”
    Unless the kid’s name is gong to be Baby, shouldn’t it be “after THE baby is born?”

    Again, I know this seems to have become the norm (or is it just “norm”) and it is not something only you do, it is just that I don’t understand why it is done and authors here often reply. Thanks.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      I have no idea. Ha! I really wish I could give you a better answer than that!

  • Guest

    Some newborns are easy, some are hard. Unfortunately, I don’t think “normal people” reactions are relevant when the newborn in question has mega-rich parents. I don’t mean “both-parents-are-lawyers-and-hire-a-nanny-who-goes-home” wealthy people. I mean the kind of people who hire MANY live-in servants who themselves make a lot money (in exchange for being on demand LITERALLY 24/7/365. See: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/25/magazine/the-best-nanny-money-can-buy.html?pagewanted=1&_r=0). As in (conservatively speaking), the top 3% of the 1% – wealth disparity that is difficult to imagine because it’s so out-of-sight vast. KK doesn’t have to ever touch her child if she doesn’t feel so inclined. Seriously. Not ever. So, sure, her plans sound pretty unreasonable for most typical moms, but no typical moms have even close to the same resources ($40 million net worth, not counting Kanye’s net worth of $100 million); she’s probably have a fully staffed tour bus at her disposal. ANYONE with those accommodations could drag their newborn all over the US (and Canada!). Which sort of makes me wonder why we’re even talking about it? We are a complicated species, that’s for sure.