I’ve always kind of felt like the Holly Golightly of motherhood. You know that famous first scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s – where she is on the outside of the store, longingly peering in? Yup. That’s me. Except replace Tiffany’s with all-things-motherhood and exchange her fabulous outfit for a pair of yoga pants. For some reason, I’ve just never been totally convinced that I know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve always kind of felt like I was on the outside looking in when it comes to motherhood.
Number two is on the way – soon. I’m due in less than a week. Lately I’ve been wondering – will I automatically be a pro this time around because I have done it all before? Yeah – I don’t think so. I’ve often wondered why I have such an inferiority complex about motherhood, and I think I’ve finally figured it out. Everyone else is just doing waaaaay too well. Stop showing off ladies – give the rest of us a break.
It’s become less evident since I left New York because I am just not around as many moms anymore. But hanging out in the mom zone of Brooklyn definitely made me feel like my parenting arsenal needed some serious attention.
We were in the park one day when I looked up to see a toddler swoosh down the slide, fall off and somehow slam his face at the base. It freaked me out because his face immediately began to bruise, swell and bleed. His father turned white, picked him up and tried to console his screaming child. Before I could even react, another mother came running from around the slide – backpack in hand.
Oh my! That was scary. Do you want my ice-pak? Here’s some Neosporin and some Band-Aids, too. Here sweetheart! Do you want Kermit or Big Bird?
My attention immediately shifted from wounded, bleeding child to Supermom. Who was this woman? Why was she carrying an ice-pack? I don’t even think I have an ice-pack at home. I know I have Neosporin somewhere – but I’d be hard pressed to find it in an emergency. I started looking around. Did everyone else have a first-aid pack with them on their afternoon walk to the park?
I glanced to one corner of the park. Three children were making the most exquisite chalk-mural I had ever seen. I didn’t even know they made sidewalk chalk in those colors. And mom was gathering flowers and other greenery to accent the piece. It was amazing.