Epic Mom Becomes Her Daughter’s Personal Bodyguard After School Allegedly Does Jack About Bullying

security jackBullying in schools can leave a lot of parents feeling utterly helpless. It’s probably the first time in the child’s life in which mothers and fathers can’t necessarily get up in the bully’s face and be like, “you said what now?” Unless your mom is Jill Trahan-Hardy. And then that’s definitely what’s happening.

The Star.com reports that Trahan-Hardy has become her 11-year-old daughter’s “near-constant guardian in the hallways, at recess and during lunch” at the permission of Earl Haig Public School. The mother is reportedly at her daughter’s class the moment the bell rings to chaperon her to and from classes — a measure that she fully acknowledges as “ridiculous.”

But she claims that Earl Haig has done exactly squat about her daughter Harley Campos being bullied, aside from measly day and a half suspensions for those responsible parties Other than that, the school has given the family the following options: Harley can sit in the school office during lunch or change schools. That’s it.

And we’re talking threats of violence on this one:

Trahan-Hardy said she first brought her concerns about bullying to teachers in March. But she began to truly fear for the safety of her daughter, Harley Campos, when her alleged tormenters — two Grade 7 girls — confronted her during the lunch hour early last week.

According to an audio recording of the interaction, the older girls repeatedly threatened to beat up the Grade 5 student for talking behind their backs, and making quips about one of their mothers who had recently passed away — allegations Harley denies.

Trahan-Hardy pulled her daughter out of school, and brought the recording, made with another student’s iPhone, to administrators. But she was unhappy with the day-and-a-half suspension she said the older students received, and upset by the fixes the school offered…

“She is being punished for being bullied,” Trahan-Hardy said. “It’s unacceptable.”

Trahan-Hardy also hit up the police on this matter, and although there was an investigation, no charges came to fruition.

Earl Haig is described as “very safe and supportive community” according to the co-chair of the school council and many of the other parents. But what would they know about it? They’re grownup parents who move around the world as grownup parents. I’m sure their experience of the school is quite different than that of the 11-year-olds actually moving about the hallways as children.

Having your mom as your personal bodyguard might have warranted even more threats of pummeling years ago, but Harley is being harassed no longer. Of course, her mother can’t necessarily be her recess bodyguard for life.

(photo: linerpics / Shutterstock)

Share This Post:
    • http://www.whatwouldshethink.com/ Rachelle

      I can’t help but think about how traumatized I would have been if my Mother (who already earned the nickname The Police when I was in grade school) was waiting for me in between classes… That just doesn’t seem like the right answer to all of this.

      This might upset some (like my sister), but I’m getting more and more on board this whole “teach my kid to defend herself” theory. I was all about “talk it out” and “find other ways of dealing with it” but I think I’ll teach my girl how to defend herself with both words and, last resort, her body if it escalates to that point.

      I don’t mind picking her up after school to make sure she’s chill, but… you won’t find me in her hallways. That’s just begging for her to be laughed at even more.

      • Andrea

        Yeah I’m with you on that one. How long can mom keep this up? Till the girl graduates high school?

        It is incredibly hard, but I always felt that I had to teach my children to (a) defend themselves (both verbally and physically) and (b) build their self-confidence so that they are not faced by stuff like this.

        My oldest is now navigating middle school and has geeky tendencies. He knows this, he OWNS this and cares not a jot what other people say or think about him. He has like-minded friends, lots of activities, and he knows he will never be a jock or one of those “in” kids. We talk about the dynamics at school and he is super confident in who he is. He has even stood up to some kids who were daring him on one of those dumb “challenges” that are going around school these days.

        Your job as a parent is not to body guard your kid; it is to TEACH them to body guard themselves.

      • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

        dude i never said not to defend yourself :p just not to react physically to either type of violence. I agree with you actually! This woman should focus on teaching her child to deal with the bullying, and defend herself with this clique of girls

      • http://www.whatwouldshethink.com/ Rachelle

        By defend I mean teach ZZ to throw a good punch and kick where it hurts, just to be clear. ;)

      • Rachel Sea

        When I was a bullied kid, I was told over and over again to ignore them, and the beatings would stop. That never, ever worked. If I had just once punched one of the ringleaders square in the nose, my problems would have ended.

      • Amber

        I heard the same thing and tried ignoring them for years. Then one day I beat the living hell out of one of them and no one ever bothered me again.

      • http://www.facebook.com/iwill.findu.90 Iwill Findu

        When I was in high school there was a group of boys it started with them sliding porn into my locker door, and when I tried to ignore it they started hanging bags of sperm on the door, I had gone to the principle each time only to be told the stupid “boys will be boys”. I ended it when I called each of their mom’s and told them what their sons were doing and said if it ever happened again I would be calling the police to see about pressing charges (It was so very nice of them to even leave me DNA evidence).

        The nice thing was all of the mother’s promised it would never happen again and it didn’t. Standing up for yourself doesn’t always mean smacking other people around. Sometimes it’s knowing the law and arming yourself with that.

      • Tom Maker

        sounds naughty to me. I want to know if you really kept the bags of sperm??? somehow I think you made this up!!

      • Piper

        I punched my bully square in the jaw after years of bullying. I ended up in the hospital a week later after I was jumped by 5 girls.

        The whole knock ‘em down & they’ll leave you alone theory doesn’t always work.

      • Rachel Sea

        That’s awful. I’m sure it depends on the bully. I went to a really small school, so beatings were only ever one-on-one

    • Malia

      Um, I hate to say this, but am I the only one who thinks the girl talked sh!t about another girl’s dying mom and probably deserves a little bit of a scare so that she NEVER talks about someone’s dead parent again? She denies it but who OF CORSE she would deny it if she has the kind of mom who overreacts and chaperones her around school. Seriously the way people comment on stories online and bully people in tragic situations makes me want to vomit. I’m probably alone here but I think maybe the world would be a better place if people who talk sh!t were smacked around a little bit in middle school and cut it out by the time they graduated. There wasn’t even any physical violence, just a threat. Stop talking sh!t. I doubt the innocence of either party. Maybe I would be with the mom if it was a black and white issue, but I don’t see it as such.

      • Andrea

        I thought the same thing too. It IS possible that the girl was talking shit. It’s just as possible that the mean girls made it up. No way to tell.

        But I still don’t think mom is handling this right.

      • smish smash

        Yeah, you’re gonna be alone on this one. Saying negative things about someone is not an acceptable justification for threats of physical violence or actual physical violence. If this girl did indeed say negative things, she should have a talking to and some repurcussions, but allowing people to get a free pass to start “smacking people around” is pretty clearly not the rational answer here.

      • Malia

        Looks like I’m actually NOT alone on this one. And I think a day and a half suspension isn’t a “free pass.” It’s a consequence and they didn’t actually follow through with any violence. It’s not just saying negative things about someone, it’s saying negative things about someone’s dead mom. HUGE difference. I actually thinking teaching your kids not to talk about other people, especially not those who are most vulnerable (the dead who can not defend themselves) is JUST as important, than teaching them not to threaten violence.

      • Justme

        I wouldn’t say the girl needs a “scare” but we are probably only hearing ONE side of the story. It’s never okay to threaten someone with bodily harm, but if we want to teach our children to stick up for themselves, wouldn’t that also mean if someone is talking behind their back or about a dead mother?

      • Rachel Sea

        I don’t disagree, but I also know this kind of stuff can get out of hand fast. Adults should be involved enough to stop things spiraling out of control, but there is something to the kids on the school yard keeping each other in line. It depends a lot on the temperament of the kids at the top of the pecking order.

      • Amber

        I have to say, if someone I knew was making nasty jokes about a person I loved who had recently passed away, I would absolutely confront them.

        I don’t consider that bullying, I consider that sticking up for basic human decency.

      • Tusconian

        I won’t place any blame on the daughter because I wasn’t there and it seems just as likely the other two could have been misinformed or starting trouble, but from my experience in grade school, the moms who marched up to school every time someone said “boo” to their child were also the type who would never believe that their child had done something to warrant a reaction. I remember being twice accused of being a “bully” after reacting verbally to being physically accosted by two separate classmates on two separate occasions, one of whom actually sexually and racially harassed me very seriously for years. Maybe “I’m going to beat you up,” or in my case, “get your hands off me, you little freak” are not the appropriate ways to handle situations where someone is saying/doing something that upsets you, and punishments should be given accordingly, but seriously. Middle schoolers do not react appropriately to anything, because they are children. That’s half the reason we put them in school in the first place.

      • Cynjok

        Exactly what I suspect, too.

      • AS

        I don’t know. I had the same thing happen to me in high school. A couple of older girls decided for “fun” to start saying that me and my friend had been making fun of a sick kid at school. This was so absolutely far from the truth I didn’t give it much fault. Then they used it as their “excuse” to start threatening us at every turn. Like physical violence threat. It was very scary, not only did I know that they were completely making it up, but it was terrifying to see that these girls were so psychotically mean that they would make up a story and then threaten physical violence on something they knew was made up. There are some crazy girls out there, I wouldn’t be quick to judge the younger girl.

    • Justme

      What does the mother want from the school? The girls were disciplined appropriately – the school can’t do much more unless there is a physical altercation. You tell the girls to leave each other alone and inform the teachers that there has been an issue and to keep an eye out for any furthering of the problem by either party.

      Quite frankly, I’m surprised the school is allowing her to be such a constant presence at the school. I would think a counselor would step in and try to mediate with the mother about the issue because although the harassment might have stopped due to the mothers presence, it could be having damaging effects on her daughter – which would be something the counselor would want to address.

      Of course we all want to keep our children safe, but the fact remains that we can’t be a part of every moment of their lives to ensure peace, safety and tranquility. At some point we have to give our children the skills they need to survive and allow them the space to stand (and even fall) on their own.

      • Malia

        I agree. They got a day and a half suspension and they didn’t actually commit any violent acts, they just talked about it. Now this mom is disrupting actual learning that is going on. She shouldn’t be allowed to do that. If you need to spend every waking moment with your daughter, homeschool her.

    • Rachel Sea

      This seems like about the most extreme option. Very soon that girl is going to have to live in the world without her mom at her elbow. There have got to be better ways of resolving the conflict than this. Mediation, play-dates, signing the kid up for karate, getting her an 8th grade buddy…anything but physically shadowing her around the school. It’s not even like she was actually beaten up, only threatened.

      I totally understand if the girl was scared, I was a bullied kid too. But the solution for me would not have been having my mom around at all times, and unless kids have REALLY changed in the last 20 years, it’s not going to be the solution for this girl either.

    • Amber

      This seems like a non solution to me. If mom has that much free time, it seems like there are better solutions than labeling your daughter a baby who needs her mom to protect her all the time.

      Those kids might leave her alone now but they won’t forget this. High school is going to be rough on her, whether mom is still tagging along or not.

    • Melissa T

      If the school is so bad that she needs to be chaperoned, why not pull her at put her somewhere else? If the mom has that kind of time, why not homeschooling? Seems like that would be a much better use of everyone’s time and resources.

      • Melissa T

        *out and put her somewhere else. Geez.

      • Psych101

        Bullying should never get to the point where someone should have to pull the child out of the school because nothing is being done. With all the suicide fatalities caused by bullying you would figure schools would buckle down and make sure their students are safe.

    • Tusconian

      This is a situation where I think the heart is in the wrong place, but the brain is totally absent, like when those parents got plastic surgery for their pre-teen because some people made fun of her ears. Following her kid at every moment is only going to work while the mother can keep up this act, which is probably not forever. When she stops, her daughter will be bullied by more people, probably in ways that are harder to catch, because she was the snitch crybaby loser who’s mom comes to school with her.

      Also, a “measly” day and a half suspension for a verbal threat from a 12 year old? Sorry, but I cannot get behind this attitude that once we arbitrarily label some child a bully, they should be hung, drawn, and quartered (well, expelled and publicly shamed and thrown in juvie, but whatever). Studies have shown that “measly” punishments like this ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL WORK, as long as they’re handed out with consistency. If this is the first incident, and only a week old, that’s honestly all the school can do at the moment unless another incident occurred. I’m sorry, but everyone frothing at the mouth for pre-teens who have only made verbal attacks to be treated as hardened criminals who need to be removed from society are hurting children (both bullies and victims) far more than they are helping the victims. I understand the fear for safety; they made a threat of physical violence against someone who likely was less able to defend themselves. But unless this is what they’re doing every single day, a suspension is honestly a fair punishment to start with.

      • kims

        in jersey, the final step for punishing bullies is expulsion. if these kids were suspended & did not change how they treat this girl, yes, I absolutely think being suspended for a day & a half was not enough. punishment, discipline, is meant to teach someone they are doing wrong, & it should be strict enough to make the kids stop doing wrong.

      • Justme

        But your key word is “final” which means that they had to start somewhere else before getting to the expulsion. You cannot expel a child without evidence of wrongdoing…thus the need for suspensions in the beginning. As the children keep acting out, the disciplinary actions will get more and more severe ultimately resulting in one of two scenarios – either the child changes the behavior or is removed from the school. BUT…the school cannot go from zero to sixty for one single incident – there is a process (just like in our court system).

      • Tusconian

        The first solution seemed to be suspending them for a day and a half, not the final one. Nothing says they were suspended multiple times, and only a single situation was mentioned. And that was only a week ago. I flat out cannot believe the situation escalated so severely in a single week that they should be expelled. And honestly, the shrieking vigilante rage that accompanies any child arbitrarily labeled by a biased source “a bully” is not the way to stop kids from doing wrong at this age, it’s the way to teach children that adults are worse than childhood bullies, do not care for them, don’t want to teach them, and are more interested in revenge than making sure children are safe and happy. Expelling and arresting children left and right for minor to moderate disciplinary infractions does not stop children from doing wrong, it literally turns them into criminals. It’s been statistically proven that consistent, mild punishments work. Just because they aren’t BFFs the second after the first mild punishment takes place does not mean that the “bully” is irreversibly evil, at 12 years old, and should have their means to stop being a bully and start being a successful human being snatched away by an overbearing mother.

    • Annie

      I started reading this fully prepared to bitch about this crazy broad, and then came the part about threats of violence. As a kid who was bullied to the point of being sexually assaulted at school with zero repercussions for the little bastards who did it, I’d move my kid to a different school if at all possible. But, if I didn’t have the means to do so, I’d probably do the same thing. It’s not like she’s not simultaneously fighting for the school to protect her daughter from bodily harm.

      Of course, this is going to make the teasing worse, but the poor kid’s going to get her ass kicked by some older girls.

      • Tusconian

        You’d have been bullied twice as much if your mom followed you around like a service dog. Your situation is why schools need to step up before things get out of hand, and from what people close to the situation say….they did. This was one instance of a verbal altercation, that was brought about by what honestly sounds like some real nastiness on the part of the “victim.” The fact that adults are calling for these girls, one of whom is likely in a very tough place and struggling emotionally, to be expelled and calling them “bastards” is honestly much more hateful and way more serious bullying than a 12 year old telling an 11 year old that she’s going to beat her up. The lack of compassion from people who claim to have been bullied is ASTOUNDING, and makes me sad for the future much more than the fact that some pre-teens are mean and incapable of dealing with situations like adults.

      • Annie

        I would’ve preferred it to being the victim of sexual assault, my hair being cut on the bus, things being stolen, pets killed, tires slashed, so forth. My dad had to threaten the principal with bodily harm to get him to release footage of me being held down and groped in the parking lot.

        You can shake your head and tut all you want, I’m not calling for these kids to get expelled. Reading the comment would inform one of what I would do in the situation, and that sometimes there’s a real threat of bodily harm. If she’s scared for her life and the school isn’t doing anything, I’d get my kid out of the situation.

    • averagemom

      This school is in my neighbourhood, though my kids don’t attend it, but I have a number of neighbours whose kids do & have attended, and it is a lovely school, with a great sense of community. I think this woman is totally out of line. This newspaper article contains about 10% of the actual information in this story–the school has done a lot more than just suspend the girls, and they have offered many alternatives to this family, they are bending over backwards to make things work for them. I don’t think any child should be bullied, but this really seems like the worst possible solution…is she planning to accompany her child to grade 6 as well? I should also point out that this woman called the paper after involving the school board, principal and trustee, and rejecting all of their solutions. We have similar parents at our school, whose children are never in the wrong, for whom nothing is ever good enough, and whose solution is to hang around monitoring the teachers and other children’s behaviour against their perfect princesses. This is not a way to empower your child or to foster good problem solving or healthy communities.

      • Justme

        If what you’re saying is true, the daughter probably has figured this out about her mother and knows that she will never be held accountable for her actions either.

      • Andrea

        I suspected this. Since most bullying at that age is verbal, there is a WHOLE lot more that must have happened before those girls were suspended. I suspected that the school must have done a very thorough investigation if it resulted in suspension (which is OMG so last resort where I am from).

        The whole article (even the original one in the star) didn’t smell right to me. I don’t know what this mother wants, but I suspect she won’t be happy unless the girls are expelled. I’m glad you came in here and told us more.

      • http://Facebookpages.com/IvyRealtor Ivy Beitner

        I agree, I feel the mother has turned the situation into a personal vendetta for messing with one of her “cubs”. When it gets to a point like this what is the school supposed to do? Cater to a Rage blinded overbearing mother? Or stick to their guns?

      • http://www.facebook.com/gigijill Jill Gigi Trahan

        I will do what ever I need to make my daughter safe if you live in the neighborhood come to the school and I will let you listen to the complete 14 mins. of this recording I would love to meet with the other parents to work this out they need to hear this. But the school will not allow it, and to all of you out there that disagree with me I don’t care your approval is not needed I am here for my daughter

      • Tom Maker

        maybe discipline your little brat too?????

    • Emily

      There are so many unknowns here. One point that really struck me is that the mom of one of the alleged aggressors had recently passed away. It seems totally reasonable to me to consider that maybe the school cut her some slack, offered additional counseling, or the like that could actually help her situation, rather than sticking with a penalty-type punishment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/greerelizabethphillips Greer Phillips

      When it’s time, I WILL be teaching my son 2 things: 1) Be a friend to all. Especially the people who don’t have anyone. 2) If someone is bullying or threatening you or your friend and ignoring them or using your words with them simply has not made them stop, you can and should knock them the fuck out. Period.

    • http://Facebookpages.com/IvyRealtor Ivy Beitner

      I can’t help but bring up the fact that nobody seems to be addressing. There wasn’t a single issue between the older girls and Harley until she apparently made a joke about one of the girls’ dead mother (assuming the allegations are true, because you can’t automatically assume they aren’t). Forgive me if this sounds harsh, but If you have the courage to make fun of someones mother who has passed away, then you need to make sure you’re brave enough to suffer the consequences. To be clear: The girl doesn’t deserve to be picked on, however maybe instead of being her daughters body guard during school hours, Harley’s mother should focus on her daughters level of respect for others. This whole situation is blown out of proportion by Harley’s mother and she is in fact making her daughter a MUCH bigger target for bullies than she was before. I don’t advocate bullying in any situation but in my opinion this doesn’t look like a classic case of bullying. Regardless of who made fun of who, and whatever twisted solution Harley’s mother came up with, the school should have done some sort of mediation on the issue. If all they did was suspend the older girls and instead of having all the girls talk to each-other until the issue was resolved then they accomplished nothing.

      :) Someone had to play devil’s advocate I guess.

    • G.S.

      I don’t really find it that out of line that the girl with the dead mom threatened the 5th grader if she thought she was talking smack about her dead mom, since that is a really dick thing to do. I mean, I can understand a teacher or whatever pulling her aside and telling her, “Look, I understand that you’re hurting, and that is a horrible thing to say, but you really shouldn’t threaten to beat up the ten-year-old,” but considering the circumstances, unless this is a kid who HAS beaten up kids before, suspension seems a bit much. I really hope she’s getting counselling or some kind of help for this.

      And I like the idea of pairing kids off with an older kid if the bullying is bad. Like a surrogate older sibling, or something.

    • Gloria Rinderman

      “Be A Buddy, Not A Bully”-a popular CD of upbeat songs has been reviewed by the
      School Library Journal for grades K-4 to try to help combat bullying.

      “A very educational & positive children’s music album that reinforces hospitality,
      acceptance, & togetherness.”
      http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/be-a-buddy-not-a-bully/id29176563

      The song “Be a Buddy, not a Bully” can be heard on UTUBE:

      UTUBE.BUD.webloc

    • How to become a Bodyguard

      Provided information is very useful.
      It will definitely helps to all viewers, Thanks for sharing!

    • Leanne Lowther Wallington

      you know what its pretty sad that a parent has to go to this extent. I speak from experience. Who’s fault is it really? My boy ended up having to have surgery and not one of the boys got suspended. That school isn’t the only school that should be chastised for not doing the right thing. The only reason that school is in trouble right now is because a parent stood up to them. It’s about time I’d say. People don’t realize just how bad this problem has gotten. what about the documentary called bully (2011) kids commit suicide over this. Are the school, parents of the bullies, and the school board really solving the problem. Not as far as I can I see. It seems to me that the bullies need something more than a stern talking to.

    • CD

      The person being bullied shouldn’t have to sit in the office for lunch. The ones bullying that little girl should be sitting in the office. That’s just messed up. And if it ever comes a time when it got so bad to where I had to escort my child to each class…oh my God!! Thecrap would hit the fan and the that’s when I would hire my own attorney to handle this. The school administration needs to step up.

    • Tom Maker

      lame….this kid is a loser and will never amount to anything if her mommy has to step in every time something upsets her. I am sure the sweet little angel did not talk behind anyone’s back, nor insult the poor child’s deceased mother. I am sure she is partially to blame for being “corrected”.