For The Love Of God And Everything Holy, I Hope I Don’t Go Into Labor On Mother’s Day

shutterstock_98158664__1368285268_142.196.167.223So, I’m almost 39 weeks pregnant. I’m huge. I’m in pain. I’m really feeling like this baby is not going to hold out for her May 20th due date. If you have ever been pregnant you know what happens when you get within weeks of your due date – everyone has something to say about when the baby is coming. As luck would have it – Mother’s Day is tomorrow. Wouldn’t that just be the cutest thing? Having a baby on Mother’s Day? Um, no.

I’m one of those people that actually really likes Mother’s Day. I know it’s a Hallmark holiday – and I usually rail against those, but Mother’s Day is different. It’s hard to explain. Strangers smile at you. Everyone you interact with has something really nice to say. It’s awesome. This year, I have the double whammy of being hugely pregnant and having a toddler in tow. I’m pretty much expecting the red carpet to be rolled out wherever I go.

Is is petty that I want to milk this day? Probably. But there are few things that bring a hugely pregnant woman more joy than receiving some of the perks that come along with being hugely pregnant. Look – the last days of pregnancy are no walk in the park. The no sleep. The constant sweating. The pain. It’s kind of nice to experience some extra-added joy. If I still lived in New York, now would be the time that seats would be clearing immediately when I got on the subway. Normally rushed New Yorkers would be waiting to hold the door for me. Sorry, it’s awesome.

At the end of my first pregnancy, my husband was performing at Joe’s Pub in NYC. It was a packed standing room only house and there was one giant, plush booth in the front with a sign that said, “Reserved VIP.”The show started and I noticed it was still empty. I sat down. One of the ushers walked up to me and said, “Can I help you?” I said, “Yes! I would LOVE a glass of ice water.” He looked at me, confused. He walked away and returned minutes later with a giant glass of ice water. Perks, people! Perks!

So no, I would not like to spend this special day pushing a baby out of my vagina. She can stay put for a few more hours while I enjoy something I’ll never have again – the sympathy and kindness of strangers who can see how uncomfortable I look. I’m making a whole human. Let me bask in the glory a little.

*Just in case anyone is wondering – I’m not a huge jerk. I understand how lucky I am to be pregnant and will be writing more on this tomorrow.

(photo: Elina Manninen/ Shutterstock)

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    • Jenni

      I agree with you 100%! I was born on June 17, which is ALWAYS next to father’s day. It sucked enough as a kid to have a birthday in the summer, but now it sucks because people want to see their family. I get it, I love my dad too. But if I had a choice I would have been born one week earlier or later, just so I didn’t have to deal with this.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      I feel like pregnancy is one of those things that people never really truly appreciate the value of. As Angela said to Dr. Brennan in one of my favorite episodes of Bones: “You just grew a human. Somebody should be throwing you a parade!”

      There are special parking spaces reserved for pregnant mothers, and those who also have other kids, like you, Maria. This should be the norm for everywhere. Also, jobs should give extra days off outside of maternity leave for pregnancy. Instead of calling in sick, you should be able to call in “extremely pregnant” and get to have a masseuse and a maid come to your house for the day.

      • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

        Where are these parking spaces?? How have I missed them? ;)

      • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

        I haven’t seen them at all in my hometown, which is a pretty small town. But I used to live in Johnson City, TN and every Wal Mart, Walgreens, and major grocery store had them. Like I said, it should be the norm for everywhere!

      • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

        They have a ton of them down in Cabo (Yeah I know it’s not the US.) Pretty much every big store has the “Pregnant lady parking”

      • Andrea

        You are in Florida now right? Publix has them! Shop there!

    • Andrea

      It is not petty AT ALL. You go ahead and milk it girl! You totally deserve it.

      • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

        Thanks! My stomach has been rock hard for 24 hours – so not sure that I’m going to get my wish. We shall see. Not sure how much sense my posts are going to make tomorrow though! Ha!

      • Andrea

        It’ll be what it’ll be. Best of luck whatever happens!

    • CrazyFor Kate

      Good luck with your baby – and let’s hope it sticks around past M-Day, but not too too long!

    • Carm

      Atta girl! Soak it up!

    • aloha mama

      My baby was born on Mothers Day last year and for me it was definitely special… I felt like he held out (43+ wks) just to be born on that day :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-Weber/1149485644 Jessica Weber

      I had my first on mothers day and it was pretty sweet. I got a lot of unnecessary attention I wouldn’t have otherwise. The hospital even gave me flowers and chocolates with my breakfast. Honestly nobody ever remembers mothers day in my house so it was the only one I ever got. Except for my MIL who takes it so seriously (for herself) that she won’t come to my daughters birthday parties because it falls on HER WEEKEND. Probably the reason why my husband avoids spoiling me.

    • Kat

      Hey, I understand. Even my due dates that fell on the average day were subject to cutesy speculation. I even got to hear that my daughter, who was due on April 14, might be born on tax day! Awesome!

      • Andrea

        Well I got a July 3rd baby (he was convinced till age 5 that the fireworks were for his birthday) and a Feb 12 baby (trying to pass heart shaped balloons ass birthday balloons doesn’t quite cut it). So yeah…

      • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

        I had my son the day after Halloween. On Halloween, I was 5 days overdue. I really didn’t want to have a child on Halloween!

    • Jessie

      My birthday is on Mother’s Day this year. It sucks, I only get one special day. Hopefully you can hold that baby in for a week or you will eventually have to share your kid’s birthday with your Mother’s Day. Good Luck!!!

      • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

        Happy birthday!

      • Jessie

        Thanks!!! I’m trying to convince my husband to “move” my birthday to next week end. ;)

    • LiliesAndLilacs

      My poor mother had me 2 days after Mother’s Day. 25 years later she still gives me a hard time for making her wait an entire year more for her first Mother’s day!

    • DMH

      I think I have bad Mothers Day luck. Last year I was pregnant, so I felt weird celebrating before my son had even arrived. This year I’m 1000 miles away from home for Army training. After not seeing my husband and 10 month old son for over 4 weeks, I don’t even want to acknowledge the holiday. There’s always next year.

      • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

        Eat ice cream. Take a long bath even if you have to park the kid in the playpen outside the bathroom door. Let yourself watch bad TV allllll day. You deserve it.

      • Hasi

        I don’t think you get to take long baths during army training? Or watch bad TV all day. And DHM would probably love to have her child close to her! Please to try to read comments before you reply…. It kind of seems unsensitve if you tell an army mom missing her baby to put him in a playpen in front of the bathroom. Or was this reply meant for another comment?

        And DHM? THank you sp much for your service and your sacrifice!

    • Cupritte

      My due date is today. I feel the complete opposite way (please come out little!) Though I never thought of the fact that she would likely have her birthday on Mother’s Day, which would be a bit of a bummer post kids.

      • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

        I NEED AN UPDATE ON THIS! ANY BABY ACTION YET?

      • Cupritte

        Not until now… Waiting to see if this keeps up.

      • Cupritte

        Nothing. Everything petered out and I went to sleep. Now I have a high blood glucose and am quite grumpy at 4 am. At least I got some sleep.

    • http://twitter.com/bethany_ramos Bethany Ramos

      I am a fan of your articles and didn’t realize we have the same due date!! I am way too pregnant right now and would love to give birth today on Mother’s Day to get this monster out of me – I ain’t picky! I am NOT looking forward to hanging out with my in-laws and having them ask questions about my vag (are you dilated yet??). I’d rather do the damn thing and stop feeling so irritable and hateful. Good luck to you! :)

      • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

        Yes – irritable and hateful pretty much describes me to a T right now! haha

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      You pregnant ladies need to start tweeting at us at Mommyish so I know when I can congratulate you all. all I do is send Maria texts constantly saying BABY YET?

      • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

        It’s true. Eve is the ambassador of Guido babywatch 2013.

    • Copperkroewe

      My oldest daughter was born on mothers day and my youngest was two days before mothers Day 4 years later. They have the same birthday actually. I saw them both as a wonderful blessing and having them on and around mothers day just added to the coolness of the Day. They are the best presents I could have ever received.

    • keelhaulrose

      When I was first pregnant I was due on mother’s day. I really didn’t want to give birth then. As dumb as it sounds it was for my mom. Mothers day was always more about her than even her own birthday (New Year’s Day, when everyone is too tired/hungover to put a lot of effort in special activities). I didn’t want her to have to lose mother’s day to my daughter and her birthday, especially when she got older and started getting parties and such.

    • Mirelasmith

      During the Time of Pregancy woman can avoid going to some place and does not attend any function .

      http://www.prlog.org/12126245-toshiba-coupon-code-2013-20-savings-say-yes-to-best-deal.html