Happy early Mother’s Day, everyone! To help celebrate the official day people give thanks to their moms (as opposed to every other day of the year when you can treat your mom like total¬†garbage — KIDDING!), I’m handing out Gold Stars like they’re candy. These moms have earned it! It takes a special kind of person to write about the ups and downs of parenting via quirky status updates that read as pure entertainment. Sure, it’d be easy to focus on the weight of a parent’s job — to keep kids fed, to mold minds and prepare little ones to survive in the world one day on their own — but thankfully, many people take a different approach to Facebook that’s far more fun to read.

It’s always possible to communicate the experience of being a parent with a sense of humor rather than just a straight story, and when moms do, they’re setting a good example for other moms. Maybe a woe is mom will pause and remind herself that she doesn’t always have to complain. Maybe a sanctimommy will save her multiple lectures about cloth diapering for another day. And maybe, just maybe, a mom who was thisclose to posting a picture of her placenta will remember that some things aren’t for everyone. One thing that IS for everyone, however, is a good joke. Here are some funny examples, all written by moms:

1. Success

STFU ParentsHow do you measure your success as a parent? By comparing your child to every other child? By obsessing over development charts and other statistics? Or by comparing your still-alive baby to a fickle Japanese plant? If you answered with the latter, you’re on the right track.

2. Baby Monitors

STFU Parents

I especially love this status update because it’s exactly the kind of update most parents don’t write for fear of someone taking them seriously. I can easily imagine one of Cynthia’s less-cool friends saying, “I know you are probably joking, but this is how babies die. At least four children die every year because their mothers stepped out to get a delicious ice cream treat, leaving their children alone for just 10 minutes. Just something to think about.”

Go Cynthia!

3. All Class

STFU Parents

Crystal’s update is a major win because she could’ve just left it at the first line. She could’ve taken a cute picture of her cute daughter’s newly-pierced ears and simply written, “My baby’s growing up!”, but she didn’t. It’s that extra step that I admire so much in any clever social media update, so thanks for showing us how it’s done, Crystal.

4. Choosing Battles

STFU Parents

Hey, how else are kids supposed to learn not to eat everything that’s on the ground? Everyone knows grass roll-ups and leaf sandwiches are the only way. The best part of a Gold Star mom is when she has a bunch of Gold Star friends.

5. Life’s Little Embarrassments

STFU Parents

Shannon’s daughter is just old enough to know the word “daddy,” but just young enough to still occasionally use it incorrectly. Rather than hide the fact that her daughter has now called a postal worker, three guys at the gym, and her child’s pediatrician “daddy,” Shannon chose to turn her frustrations into a joke. Well done. No disguise needed.

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!